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Estee 55193 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-19-11, 07:43 AM (EST) "Write the Rachel instruction manual." 1. Your Rachel is a delicate instrument. It should never be exposed to any of the following: A. Alcohol. B. Constant camera coverage. C. Stress. D. Julie Chen. Should your Rachel find itself in the presence of any to all of the above, your warranty will automatically be voided. 2. Your Rachel may not be returned for a full refund of your time. You may attempt to exchange it, although many areas will refuse to take your business after having possessed a Rachel. Substitutions are available, but not necessarily advisable. You are limited to the Rachel we have in stock. 3. We promise to never upgrade your Rachel's emotional components beyond their starting levels. 3a. Your Rachel may attempt other alterations on itself, generally when you're not looking. 4. Your Rachel requires regular maintenance. We recommend every quarter-hour on the quarter-hour, although more frequent attention will only improve the short-term performance of your Rachel. (Expect at least five seconds of bonus operating time for every three weeks of fine-tuning.) 5. Your Rachel works best while plugged into the Vegas charger. Do not remove under penalty of law. 6. You may notice heavy amounts of leakage around the optic units. This is not a bug. This is a feature. Do not attempt to plug the flow or your Rachel will be subject to additional stress, not to mention subjecting the user to additional stress. 7. Do not allow anyone to come between your Rachel and the operator. 7a. Seriously. Don't. Next?   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    Dear Manufacturer, Where is the: suzzee 08-19-11 1  RE: Write the Rachel instruction ma... kingfish 08-19-11 2  Remote Operation cahaya 08-19-11 3    RE: Remote Operation zazzy 08-20-11 5  RE: Write the Rachel instruction ma... Belle Book 08-19-11 4  RE: Write the Rachel instruction ma... zazzy 08-20-11 6  RE: Write the Rachel instruction ma... michel 08-20-11 7    RE: Write the Rachel instruction ma... krismiss2us 08-20-11 8

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold" 08-19-11, 08:54 AM (EST) 1. "Dear Manufacturer, Where is the:" Off Button? It seems that my Rachel doll won't turn off. I'm starting to lose my mind. It won't stop. Power source? There is a small door with this: At least tell me the half life of this battery. US Phone number for customer service? The number on the box is answered by a guy named Peggy somewhere in Siberia. I'm concerned with a potentially vicious meltdown. Finally, what is a Brendan? Where can I get one? It seems to be the only solution to this dangerous toy. OH NO!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-19-11, 10:25 AM (EST) 2. "RE: Write the Rachel instruction manual." LAST EDITED ON 08-19-11 AT 10:26 AM (EST) 8. And when your Rachel gets that 1000 cm look in her eyes, just activate her reboot function with an open handed blow to the face (really lean into it, do this for me). Be prepared with buckets and mops in the bushes for her reactivation process.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-19-11, 11:48 AM (EST) 3. "Remote Operation" LAST EDITED ON 08-19-11 AT 12:31 PM (EST)   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

zazzy 4390 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-20-11, 01:38 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Remote Operation" ROFL! Very nice.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 08-19-11, 05:06 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Write the Rachel instruction manual." I'm never using the Rachel robot -- ever! She's way too much stress for my health -- although seeing others try to use her and watching their frustration is funny for me!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

zazzy 4390 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 08-20-11, 01:38 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Write the Rachel instruction manual." Remember: don't confuse the empathy chip with the entitlement chip. Rachel must have the entitlement chip and must never show any empathy!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-20-11, 05:28 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Write the Rachel instruction manual." Hey! Wait a minute. It certainly isn't MY Rachel. Keep it to yourself.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

krismiss2us 768 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 08-20-11, 11:07 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Write the Rachel instruction manual." OMG!! Ya'll are freakin hilarious!!!! I am ROTFLMAO!!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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