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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"The NBA labor talks."
vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-23-11, 05:52 PM (EST)
 
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1. "RE: The NBA labor talks." |
That will then be two in Labor Armageddon... NFL's trying to dig itself out, but isn't there yet... and remember, Baseball's labor agreement expires near the end of the year, too...
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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-30-11, 04:05 AM (EST)
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2. "Deadline Day" |
Less than 20 hours before half of the major sports leagues are under lockouts...
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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06-30-11, 06:11 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: The NBA labor talks." |
The league begins the lockout several hours before it's scheduled to. I don't remember an 'up yours' gesture in sports quite this grandiose since probably the 1994 baseball strike.So coming off one of the best seasons in NBA history, culminating with one of the most satisfying NBA Finals ever...the league decides, "You know what? Let's shut it down for a while and bleed the bastards dry." Bud Selig tried doing something like that after the 2001 World Series with the whole contraction flap - I think he can still taste those words he ate. This is basically the equivalent of a man taking his wife up to a romantic B&B for their anniversary, plunking down big bucks for a romantic dinner, spa, and all the romantic works - and then checking out a night early, taking off without her, and making the hotel manager give her the divorce papers in his place. There's been a lot of talk about changing the NBA's logo. It's time they did it - to a silhouette of David Stern giving the middle finger.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-23-11, 01:17 PM (EST)
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6. "First preseason games lost." |
So they've already gone beyond the NFL.Meanwhile, the player's association may be having trouble keeping everyone in one place. Overseas teams are seeing this as a Special Guest Star opportunity and are recruiting heavily -- some with virtual game-by-game contracts. In particular, Virtus Bologna (Italy) is trying to lure Kobe back to his roots. So far, only one player has headed overseas and anyone with basketball experience knows that if it's Turkey or death, you thank Death for the kind attention -- but as the money runs low, the offers are going to become that much more tempting. There's a little more cash around than might have been believed: while the lockout is still in full effect, escrow agreements from the prior year continued in force and wound up distributing checks to the players. But that was it. From now on, it's the war chest, any personal endorsements that might be around, their own strictly theoretical savings, and anything the entourage might be willing to loan them back. After that, it's time to start selling cars. And the owners? Divided between 'Let's work this out -- eventually' and 'Let's sit back, watch the players go broke, and then hire them back at minimum wage plus tips.' Those sides are not set to reconcile. BTW, guess which one the Cavs owner is on. Still bitter much?
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-11-11, 07:33 AM (EST)
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7. "First two weeks of season canceled." |
'Okay, forget the hard cap. How about we have a luxury tax? For every dollar we're over, we'll pay one extra.''Two extra.' 'I say three.' 'And if you're always over, it's four with an option for five. Agreed?' 'Sure!' '...' '...still thinking about paying eighty million for that backup center?' 'Yes.' 'Start canceling games. Clearly we can't be saved from ourselves.'
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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10-18-11, 07:23 PM (EST)
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9. "Non-binding federal mediation begins." |
Which is another way of saying 'We will now waste two more weeks.'
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trigirl 2844 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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11-01-11, 11:45 AM (EST)
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10. "The Kardashian Effect" |
I can see it now...fresh off gruelling divorce settlement discussions with the Kardashian family, Kris Humphries thinks that this NBA labour discussion thing is a breeze and settles the lockout.
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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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11-01-11, 03:17 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: The NBA labor talks." |
Does anyone other than the involved parties even care any more?
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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11-26-11, 01:44 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: It's (apparently) over" |
Right now, the biggest media issue may be not knowing what the deal is. Some rumors of the contents are floating around, but not many -- and it feels as if no one outside the NBA has gotten a copy of the thing. There seems to be a heavy luxury tax in place for those who exceed the cap, sign-and-trades still appear to be legal, and I've already seen a comment that the deal forces just about everyone to play Moneyball. It sounds as if they got a 50/50 split with the option to add one more percent for the players if revenues pick up.However, not only do the players have to ratify this (simple majority vote), but the owners must as well. I'm predicting a few No votes -- not necessarily enough to stop this, but it'll show who the true warhawks were. And for what it's worth, a lot of this? Is LeBron's fault. More than a few team owners were furious about the player collusion he centered in last year and were trying to write deals to prevent it from ever happening again. Sure, it's unfair to blame him -- but it's just so much fun!
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trigirl 2844 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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11-30-11, 04:24 PM (EST)
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17. "Free Agency" |
Now we get a frenzied free agency...which will be much more fun than The Decision or Melo-Drama. Let the games begin!
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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11-30-11, 06:22 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Free Agency" |
My best/near-only laugh of the day was getting the SI NBA Preview issue in today's mail. (I won a one-year subscription in a Coke game.) No one knows what the teams are going to look like, how the rosters are going to shape up, how many players are going to quit on the Bobcats just to spite Jordan -- but we've still got enough material for the preview! And not only that, Vegas has released initial odds-to-win-trophy for each team, plus over/under numbers. Generally if you're going into this kind of hurry-up race, it helps to know where the actual course is...I haven't opened the issue yet. I'm waiting for the giggles to go away. But right now, I couldn't even tell you who the major NBA free agents are. To echo a podcast, what few brain cells I dedicate to remotely paying any attention at all found something else to do for the last few months, which was helpful because they needed recuperation time from the very concept of James Dolan, Voice Of Sanity. I'm sure there's people out there and I'm equally sure none of them are coming to NJ/Brooklyn. That's it. Oh, for what it's worth, the Heat are favorites at 2-1.
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