What's this I hear about BTS? It better not be "Beat the Slime". Us fish have a thing for slime, slime is our friend.What? Oh. "Beat the Survivor"? Well, never mind.
Top ten reasons to "Beat the Survivor"? I can think of a few.
1. They are old and fat. Old fat people are very beatable, and actually appreciate a few beatings. Lets them feel young again, and the swelling stretches out their skin. Exercise. Sorta like Yoga.
2. Kimmi especially. She needs to layoff the vegi carbs and dig into some protein, like red meat.
3. Wigglesworth. Must be in her 80's. She was on Survivor before HDTV. An especially painful transition for her.
4. Vytas. Like we didn't get enough of this smarmy (thanks, Shirin) self-important self-deluded dude before. Actually, we did. Here's a fact Vytas, Aras was the better man in all ways, know this and know it well. You are the less important and less talented, and from what I hear from the ladies, less pretty brother. Go Home.
5. Main reason to go to BTS: Lumpy Stumpfeller and the left Nipple of God are there. And others. They are painful to watch but you won't be able to resist. Slow motion train wrecks, all.
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