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"Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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01-23-03, 10:54 PM (EST)
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"Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Well, I know it's only Thursday, but I'm feeling a little crazy today... And the fact that I had the whole day wide open to write it.

(Plus, I just couldn't leave anything out! Cutting it down is pretty difficult!)

-The episode opens in the usual Mole way. A bunch of suspicious confessionals. Michael has no idea why he's still in the game. This is ABC's subtle way of making Michael into a human being.

-Next, the ABC editing department flexes its muscles and gives us some groovy graphics of the earth! HA! Take that, FOX football! They then cut to a shot of a sailboat, and then a picture of a man surfing. Off to Clues/Spoilers Forum for me...

Part One: "The Love Boat"

-The Molerons arrive on the beach and Ahmad tells them that they're about to play an impossible game. JOY! First, they have to split up into a group of 3 and a group of 2. Corbin and Little Erik volunteer to be the group of 2. Ahmad says that he needs a leader and someone who looks good on the beach. Corbin tells Little Erik that he looks real cute on the beach. Little Erik blushes and swoons.

-Ahmad plastically explains that they need to build a boat from a pile of junk from his garage. This boat needs to carry the entire team of 3 and Corbin. Then, the boatmen have to paddle the boat to a floating boat with a pile a money on it.

-Ahmad tells Little Erik that he gets to be Smoothie boy!!! Mmmmmmm... Smoothies... This scene can be viewed two ways:

For the ladies:

-Erik's working under the hot, sweaty sun with no shirt on, making nice, cold delicious smoothies... He turns to the camera and shyly asks if YOU would like one...

For the men:

-Erik makes his smoothies and delivers them to Frederique, who is jumping on a trampoline. Up and down, up and down...

-OK, those paragraphs were for free.

-The game starts. Evil Kathy compares Corbin to Jesus. Yeah, if Jesus was fat and obnoxious. Now, if I were a good spoiler, I would say that this is foreshadowing that Corbin will be executed, but I'm not a good spoiler, so let's move on!

-Evil Kathy's playing with a giant blue ball. What is this, a Britney Spears music video? As I said, let's move on!

-Little Erik's still on the hot, sweaty beach, making smoothies. He's got fruit, a blender, and a bunch of bananas. Ahmad comes over and tells Erik that he can get an exemption if he can paddle out (via kayak) and get the flag before the team does. But first, Erik has to finish with his banana and finish the smoothies. (Insert banana joke here)

-TWIST! Erik has to rent the boat for $15. And since Little Erik works for ABC, he doesn't have $15 and has to search on the hot, sweaty beach for quarters. He has to give these quarters to the "cabana boy" who is nobody other than... SHOCK! Stephen Baldwin.

-Stephen kind of smirks and makes some sort of stupid pun, acting like we really want him to be on the show right now. Yes, Stephen, we understand you were executed. Now go away, and we'll see you later tonight on Fear Factor.

-The players keep working on the boat and they ask Little Erik what he's doing. Erik says that he's trying to find stuff buried in the sand for their boat. Yeah, so they'll make their boat out of quarters... That makes a lot of sense. This kid's a regular Dorothy!

-Erik collects the $15 and easily beats the other team out to the money.

-TWIST #2! Ahmad tells Little Erik that he can trade in his exemption for $60,000. Erik takes the offer, saying that he is positive that he knows who the mole is and paddles away in his boat... I mean, kayak.

-Now to look at Evil Kathy's butt, as all men ages 18-34 turn off their TV. And you wonder why this show's been doing poorly.

-Corbin can't stop building the boat. Look, goofball, you lost. This ain't no hockey game. You can't just punch the ref to make yourself feel any better. You can, however, embarrass yourself by falling off the boat.

-Little Erik approaches them and tells them what Ahmad offered him. No, not the drugs, silly. The exemption. Everyone's mad because he took it. Everyone's mad because he gave it back.

-So, everyone's mad. Except for Corbin. Corbin just can't stop thinking about Little Erik.

-Corbin goes over to Little Erik and says they need to have a "little conference." Little Erik blushes and swoons.

"Why, I've always depended on the kindness of strangers..."

-Suddenly, out of nowhere, GeorgiaBelle runs by the camera, screaming "HE STOLE MY BIT!"

-Riiiiiight...

-Corbin and Little Erik sit on the hot, steamy beach and admire the sunset, er... I mean noontime scorching, and they gossip about Boatman and the TV show Arli$$. Corbin says that's a clue. Corbin's definitely the sharpest crayon in the box, huh? The two depart and Corbin goes back to working on his clue... I mean the boat.

Part Two: "Looky, looky, Corbin's lost it!"

-Evil Kathy says that executions make her nervous, and that she's sitting in her poo right now. Little Erik laughs for the first time ever. HA! She said the word "poo"!

-As Evil Kathy goes inside to change her diaper, and Little Erik goes back to Junior High, Ahmad Trebek comes out and tells them that it's time for another game. JOY! A maid comes in with a tray of hot chili peppers. Ahmad explains that this game is all about eating hot chili peppers. No, Ahmad, the game's about attacking you with them.

-He then says that the peppers range from HOT to REAL HOT. He he he... Ahmad made a funny. Get used to this phrase, because the robot will say it a couple hundred more times.

-They enter the Game Room and notice the mice. Corbin is worried that he'll have to stick mice in his mouth. Obviously, Corbin's seen Road Trip a few too many times. I mean, it was a funny movie and all, but this ain't exactly The Amazing Race.

-For a reason only known to God and ABC, "Mary Had A Little Lamb" starts playing. (?)

-Ahmad Trebek explains that the name of the game is called "Looky, Looky" Michael Moleman has trouble understand what he means by "looky, looky." Frederique takes off her top.

-No, not that "looky, looky"... Maybe next episode

-They have to eat hot peppers, ranging from HOT to REAL HOT. They'll each be asked an answer. If they can give the correct question, they can pass the pepper, which range from HOT to REAL HOT, to someone else.

Ahmad Trebek: Let's play "Idiocracy"!

Audience applauds.

Ahmad Trebek: Today's categories are: "Boating, Arli$$, Spin City, Famous Boatmen, and Pop Culture

-Corbin wants Pop Culture for $200. He misses it, proving he has no clue when it comes to Playboy models. Erik blushes and swoons. Corbin has to eat a REAL HOT pepper. Wow, big man. He ate it.

-Erik surprisingly misses his question about Brad Pitt in a nude magazine, and eats his pepper. Meanwhile, Corbin's devouring peppers left and right. But luckily for him, I'm the only one who tuned in to see him.

-Michael is next. He can't Shagwell, so he has to eat a pepper. Ahmad takes this opportunity to explain that the peppers range from HOT to REAL HOT. Geez, get that Phil guy from TAR... I'm beginning to forget what a Roadblock is.

-Will Michael eat it??? Cut to commercial!

-Hey, Jimmy Kimmel's got a talk show now!

-"The Mole will be back, here on ABC." Dang it. That little plug gets me every time.

-Hey, Jimmy Kimmel's still got a talk show now!

-OK, we're back. Time to see if Mike's a mole or a mouse. Mike eats it, after whining about his wife a little. God, Michael, you're in Hawaii. Live a little. Take off your dog collar already.

-Frederique knows her Star Wars trivia well. Burt Reynolds as Han Solo? Weird... Only the Dutch would know something like that. She passes her pepper, which could range from HOT to REAL HOT, to Corbin. Wow, Corbin's the big Kahuna now!

-Evil Kathy gets her question right and passes to Corbin also. Thanks a lot, Evil Kathy. Now we get to hear this confessional from Corbin:

Well, today was really my forte, and tomorrow will be my fart-day!!!

-He he he... Corbin's so funny. In a kind of Jack Nicholson kind of way.

-Ahmad tells them that he'll add $25,000 to the pot if they all eat a pepper. Frederique says no way. They don't have peppers in Dutch World, and all the DutchWorldians will beat her with sausage if she ate the pepper. Corbin tries to convince her to eat the pepper by making out with her. Little Erik's so jealous. Of Frederique, I mean.

Part Three: "15 Minutes of Filler Space"

-When they arrive at dinner/supper/evening snack/staged scene, Corbin insists that they all play Musical Chairs. So, they all get up and Hand Jive, as they find new seats. After that they do the Macarena, the Hustle, and a Conga Line! Frederique starts dancing on the table and Evil Kathy starts burning stuff.

-WHO HOO! A party! Too bad none of this actually happened

(Or did it?)

-Ahmad comes in plays Little Erik's favorite game, called "Looky, looky, Pick a Number." Frederique takes off her top again. Little Erik faints into Corbin's arms. Michael proves that he is not the mole, just psychic, and magically picks the same number as Corbin, 17. WOW! Call up Leno... er, Jimmy Kimmel.

-Ahmad tells everyone to rip page 17 out of their journals. He reads them. Truthfully, they were pretty lame. The only thing we learned from them were:

1. Frederique doesn't understand English, and simply drew a sailboat in her journal.
2. Kathy is illiterate.
3. Little Erik was doing his Calculus homework in his journal again. 1.5=25% ??? The kid needs to spend less time in DinoLand and more time watching PBS.

-Corbin makes a remark about wanting "to get to know" Erik better (no, I'm not making THIS part up). Yuck! If I wanted to see this kind of stuff, I'd be watching Six Feet Under.

QUIZ TIME!

1. What is the meaning of life?
2. Who will win the Super Bowl?
3. The common wild mole weighs an average of how many pounds?
4. On a scale from 1 to 10, how hott is Frederique?
5. On a scale from 1 to 10, how good is Jims' first summary?
6. What's your favorite color?
7. Is this a non-elimination leg?
8. Do you want the chicken or fish on your flight home?
9. Is Bebo really the Mole?
10. Did the Mole have a speaking role on his/her show Spin City?

EXECUTION TIME!

-Corbin enters the room first and sits down. Erik enters next and tries to sit on Corbin's lap (I'm serious here also).

-Ahmad enters.

Ahmad: I've tallied up all the votes. The person who receives the most will be asked to leave immediately. Let's start.

The votes:
CORBIN

CORBIN

CORBIN

CORBIN (I love you!)

AHMAD

Ahmad: The Molerons have spoken.

-With that, Ahmad extinguishes Corbin's ego, and throws his bags into the fire. BURN BAGS, BURN!

(Eat your heart out, Jiffy Probst!)

-Corbin leaves the room, and Little Erik weeps bitterly. Everyone is surprisingly pleasant though. Even Evil Kathy. They show a bunch of pictures of how Corbin played the game, and it brings a tear to my eye...

And, boys and girls, the Moleron Tribe lived happily ever after. Except for Michael, who had to return to his wife.

Next Week: TINY BUBBLES!


-----------------------------------------------------------
The Quotes are back!
1. "But it makes you wonder... Why was Erik so conservative all day, but so spunky with the sheep?" -Stephen
2. "Screw you guys, I'm going home" -Erik von Cartman
-----------------------------------------------------------

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... MellowYellow 01-24-03 1
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... AMAI 01-24-03 2
   Thanks A Lot! Jims02 01-24-03 4
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Q 01-24-03 3
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Femme 01-24-03 5
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Silvergirl1 01-24-03 6
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... buckeyegirl 01-24-03 7
 Great job! AyaK 01-24-03 8
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Red Lady 01-25-03 9
   RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Femme 01-25-03 11
       Be Reasonable! Red Lady 01-26-03 13
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Bucky Katt 01-25-03 10
 Oh, goodness, that was excellent! cyclehausen 01-25-03 12
   RE: Oh, goodness, that was excellen... BunsTsukino 01-26-03 14
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... Bebo 01-27-03 15
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... blacknwhitedog 01-27-03 16
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... PapaBear 01-28-03 17
 RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "T... davewilld1 01-31-03 18

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MellowYellow 346 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 06:19 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Awesome summary, very funny!

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AMAI 1254 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 09:14 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Very good for first summary, Jim. I selected a few of my fave lines, as follows:

~ since Little Erik works for ABC, he doesn't have $15 and has to search on the hot, sweaty beach for quarters.

~ -Corbin can't stop building the boat. Look, goofball, you lost. This ain't no hockey game. (haha I don't know why but this is hilarious)

~ When they arrive at dinner/supper/evening snack/staged scene,

~ Ahmad: I've tallied up all the votes. The person who receives the most will be asked to leave immediately. (heehee)

~ Next Week: TINY BUBBLES!

Very good!

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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 04:49 PM (EST)
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4. "Thanks A Lot!"
Thanks Q, Mellow, and AMAI!

I was a little nervous when I wrote it, since it's my first summary and all, but I'm happy with how it turned out!


-----------------------------------------------------------
The Quotes are back!
1. "But it makes you wonder... Why was Erik so conservative all day, but so spunky with the sheep?" -Stephen
2. "Screw you guys, I'm going home" -Erik von Cartman
-----------------------------------------------------------

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Q 2569 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 12:32 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Thanks for the summary. I appreciate all the summary writers around this place!


It is astonishing how foolish humans can be in groups, especially when they follow their leaders without question - States: The Bene Gesserit View. All States Are an Abstraction.

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Femme 3621 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 05:57 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Oh my stars. Too dern funny.

-"The Mole will be back, here on ABC." Dang it. That little plug gets me every time.

Me too, Jims!

Only the Dutch would know something like that.

Dunno why, exactly, but this one line had me in stitches. Still does, in fact! Heh.

-With that, Ahmad extinguishes Corbin's ego, and throws his bags into the fire. BURN BAGS, BURN!

Heh! Too funny! Jims, this was hysterical! Thanks for taking the time to write it. You rock.



Femme
"I shall no longer play the field; the field stinks, both economically and socially."

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Silvergirl1 9320 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 07:14 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Great summary, Jim!

Here's my boat sig pic in honor of your summary.

Story Competitions website


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buckeyegirl 5449 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 07:54 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Great first summary! Parts I especially loved:

>
>For the ladies:
>
>-Erik's working under the hot, sweaty sun with no shirt on,
>making nice, cold delicious smoothies...>He turns to the camera
>and shyly asks if YOU would like one...
and
Stephen kind of smirks and makes some sort of stupid pun,
>acting like we really want him to be on the show right now. Yes, >Stephen, we understand you were executed. Now go away,
>and we'll see you later tonight on Fear Factor.
and
but this ain't exactly The Amazing Race.

job well done!

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 08:32 PM (EST)
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8. "Great job!"
Nice work for a rookie, Jims02! OK, I have to answer the questions from:

QUIZ TIME!

1. What is the meaning of life?
I don't know, but you can find it by writing summaries of reality TV shows. Really.

2. Who will win the Super Bowl?
Tampa Bay. I think. Don't bet the farm on it.

3. The common wild mole weighs an average of how many pounds?
I believe most moles only weigh a few ounces. Boatman weighs more.

4. On a scale from 1 to 10, how hott is Frederique?
2.5 ... because looks aren't everything, and she doesn't seem to have a brain in her whole head.

5. On a scale from 1 to 10, how good is Jims' first summary?
I could answer that, but it would be wrong.

6. What's your favorite color?
I don't have one. What's yours?

7. Is this a non-elimination leg?
No.

8. Do you want the chicken or fish on your flight home?
I'll have lasagna.

9. Is Bebo really the Mole?
We're working on it.

10. Did the Mole have a speaking role on his/her show Spin City?
I never noticed; I was too busy staring at Heather Locklear.

Oops, there's the red fingerprint....

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Red Lady 2010 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-03, 04:46 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Jims...
You have done such a fantastic job with this summary! Many of my favorite lines have already been quoted, but on a scale of 1 to 10, how did Jims do? I'd say you rated an 11! Way.to.go.!

Regards....
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01-25-03, 08:36 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Hmm... would you be willing to call it 'reasonable', do you think???


Femme
"I shall no longer play the field; the field stinks, both economically and socially."

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Red Lady 2010 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-03, 00:48 AM (EST)
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13. "Be Reasonable!"
*hee hee* You took the words right out of my mouth, Femme!


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Bucky Katt 3146 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-03, 08:14 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
LAST EDITED ON 01-25-03 AT 08:15 PM (EST)

Great job Jims! A very good first effort and I sure hope we see more from you in the future!

BTW - Who do you think the mole is anyway?

"I resolve to constantly assert my honest opinion on anything and everything - whether it's requested or not."

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cyclehausen 1197 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-03, 11:35 PM (EST)
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12. "Oh, goodness, that was excellent!"
LAST EDITED ON 01-25-03 AT 11:36 PM (EST)

Who's doing episode 4? Now they have a might act to follow!

Others have pointed out some of the many gems, my additional favorites:

The exemption. Everyone's mad because he took it. Everyone's mad because he gave it back.

Frederique says no way. They don't have peppers in Dutch World, and all the DutchWorldians will beat her with sausage if she ate the pepper.
Ahmad comes in plays Little Erik's favorite game, called "Looky, looky, Pick a Number."


and, of course, the icing for us fanboys:
Erik says that he's trying to find stuff buried in the sand for their boat. Yeah, so they'll make their boat out of quarters... That makes a lot of sense. This kid's a regular Dorothy!
Too awesome LOLOLOLOL!

Answer to 5 is 10

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BunsTsukino 23 desperate attention whore postings
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01-26-03, 11:42 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Oh, goodness, that was excellent!"
I loves it! I will never write a summary like that...I am waiting to hear tiny bubbles...I have never heard it before (I missed the episode in Mole2)

Can I write a summary for Ep. 4? I promise It'll be good, but probaly not funny like Jim's: lol.

Tiny Bubbles sound like fun!

BunsTsukino ^ ~v
(Whose head is full of Tiny Bubbles)

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-03, 11:52 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Jims, I had a boatload of fun reading your hilarious summary. Excellent! And I'm not just jumping onto the boat of people praising you because you included my name in your summary.

The "for the ladies/for the men", Idiocracy, GeorgiaBelle run-though, and references to our man Phil on TAR had me roaring. But would Ahmad really only have received one vote to take a slow boat to China and off this show?


Royalty, shmoyalty...EVIL rules!

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blacknwhitedog 6528 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-03, 01:00 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Way to go Jims!!! Great summary!!!

Here's my favorite part-

He then says that the peppers range from HOT to REAL HOT. He he he... Ahmad made a funny. Get used to this phrase, because the robot will say it a couple hundred more times.

Ahmad is a robot, good one.

=


blacknwhitedog
It's just a show, I should really just relax...mst3k

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PapaBear 1428 desperate attention whore postings
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01-28-03, 10:02 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
Hey Jims, do you ever get tired of hearing just how great your summary was? If you do, you may want to stop reading now.
.
.
.
Just in case you don't, I thought every single line of it was hilarious!!! I could pull out my favorites, but there are just too many. I have read this thing probably three times already and it cracks me up every time!


I can neither confirm nor deny that I am the mole

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01-31-03, 06:28 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Celebrity Mole Ep 3 Summary: "The Corbin Show""
You didn't mention the best part of the show. It took place during the end credits. The "outtake" had Erik in his surfer trunks on the beach while Kathy and the Blond were lounging in the water. Kathy's comment was something to the effect that Erik looked like a "gay porn star". Erik either had no reaction to that line or it was cut out. The outtake did not make it to the replay of the episode on the ABC Family channel on the following Monday.
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