LAST EDITED ON 10-25-02 AT 07:53 PM (EST)APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date:________________________
Time of departure: _________________________
Time of return: ____________________________
NOT to exceed: _____________________________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile phone after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer _____________ Wine ______________ Liquor ____________ Total ______________
Locations to be visited __________________________________________________________
Females with whom conversation is desired (if none, state "none")__________________________________________
IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact requested above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Michael Bolton concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________________________
Request is: APPROVED ____________ DENIED _____________
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: _______________________
Time of departure: _______________________
Time of return: __________________________
Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancée/Wife: ____________________________
(To be completed by third party)
Location: ________________________ From: ____________ To: _____________ Initials: _____________
Location: ________________________ From: ____________ To: _____________ Initials: _____________
Location: ________________________ From: ____________ To: _____________ Initials: _____________
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