LAST EDITED ON 01-25-04 AT 11:03 PM (EST)Twenty years. I guess it’s true that time flies when you’re having fun. It seems like just yesterday that I sat in front of my computer at work, hand hovering over the mouse, trying to decide if I should click on the post button for the first time. Yet here I am at the 20 Year SBOT Reunion at Farmboy’s newest Bed & Breakfast located on the banks of the St. Lawrence River near Chicoutimi, Quebec. His first B & B had been extremely popular so he had opened many more but this was the most recent one and it was by far the biggest and grandest. Coconut and Nookie ran it for him. Coconut missed having a house full of people to make poutine for after Babynut and the sextuplets had grown and moved out and this was her way of having company around the house other than the cats. Nookie moved back to Quebec after retiring and was just happy to have someone to feed her poutine and sesame seed bagels on demand.
The reunion had been in the works for over a year and everyone planned to be there. It was originally going to be a party celebrating sleeeve’s long awaited appearance on Survivor 49 ~ James Bay, but after he won the $5,000,000.00 he had so many appearances to make that the party was postponed. Because sleeeve felt bad about being so busy, he decided to throw a huge 20th Reunion party as his way to share his new wealth.
So many had arrived over the past couple of days and it had been a non-stop party. SherpaDave & Superman could be found in the bar mixing up their trademark yogurt and eggnog slushies and serving them up with bendy straws for Mandy, Sheila, samiam and Mon Cherie. Wheezy watched her partners woo the women and marveled at how they could still make the women swoon. Misto had gone to the kitchen to make sure her staff had everything under control. Her catering business had been a huge hit and she had just been offered her own tv show ~ MistoBleu.
Buggy and TechNoir sat in the lobby discussing their latests novels and waiting for L82LIFE. Fittingly, she was the last to arrive. Augustgirl and anotherkim were in town trying to find a hair salon that could put an end to the bad hair days they were having. Summerchick was still getting used to her new short haircut and anotherkim thought she looked more like Spongebob than Kimpossible. We tried to tell her that she was way too thin to look like Spongebob but it didn’t make her feel better.
ConningOfficer and probably clueless had gone into the charter business together in Florida along with WildChickenHunter and Breezy who ran the business end of things. They both had their own boats and had arrived at the reunion in them while WildChickenHunter and Breezy came in one of Hunter’s Flying Cars. Hunter not only helped out with the charter business but he also owned a chain of nudie bars and a couple of flying car dealerships. ConningOfficer was out sailing the St.Lawrence with Bebekid, LionChow, Deonna, MagicStar and Buckeyegirl but they were due back at any time.
Nailbone and his band, the WinkyBoners, had offered to provide the music and were busy setting up their equipment. They had a couple of CD’s out and had done some touring but were still waiting to hit the bigtime. Boner didn’t mind. He was just happy that he didn’t have to work and could bang on his drum all day. J Slice was going over their playlist for the night to make sure there was enough ‘80s music to keep her satisfied.
Out by the pool, true was giving her cabana boys instructions. She had started a Cabana Boy Temp Agency and was doing very well and loving all the fringe benefits of her new job. Swami, Esbea, Minitroll and Silvergirl were floating in the water with their foo foo drinks checking out the cabana boy’s "assets" and giggling like schoolgirls. RudyRules and SnoopySucks were putting Rudy through the agility course he had set up. Mysterious Jedi and KobrienFan were taunting Rudy with Beggin Strips and snickering at their mischeviousness.
Pepe, Bebo, Meemo, Bucky, Pooh and Fester (try saying that five times quickly) sat at the far end of the bar watching a game on the big screen tv and trash-talking each other’s teams. Pooh wasn’t really into the game but she was very interested in a certain Canadian katt. I had to promise her a room next to his just to convince her to step foot in Canada. Naturally I’d been buried in requests for a room by Bucky’s but my cyber-sister had to come first.
SunnyBunny, Doodlebug and Devious Weasel wandered around the grounds grazing, or rather, gazing at all the colorful flowerbeds. PlumBlossom was making flower arrangements for the party and Tribephyl was puttering around in the garden pulling a weed or two. Tjstein was busy making last minute alterations on a new dress for the party. ExInterper, Woeisme & Grendel'sMom sat under a shade tree and talked about DAW races and swoops while they enjoyed a few cold drinks.
Coco, Nookie, sleeeve and I sat in the office going over our lists. Everything was ready. Tonight was going to be the party of the century with a very special surprise for everyone. The grounds of the B & B had been transformed into a tropical paradise and the weather was cooperating. "Well ladies, I think there’s nothing left to do but get this party started.", announced sleeeve. Nookie and Coco agreed and we all headed off to our rooms to get ready.
Later, as the guests arrived true’s cabana boys escorted them to their seats. A warm breeze blew through the grounds and music played softly in the background. Once everyone was seated sleeeve stepped onto the stage and welcomed everyone to the reunion. He spoke of the good old days and the rough times we had survived as well as the amazing friendships that had been made through OT. He asked Buggy to join him on stage and somehow she made it through her speech without too many tears. We decided to ask Buggy to speak because we thought that anyone with over 69,000 DAWS might have something interesting to say.
The speeches completed, sleeeve announced that it was now time for some entertainment. He told the crowd that we were going to do something a little different. Tonight’s party was going to be a take-off on Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding…an improv wedding. Everyone’s name was going into a bowl and as they were drawn they would be assigned a character. SherpaDave and Superman would be the directors of this production so they would give each character a background as they were chosen and give ideas for poor wedding behavior.
Coco and Nookie pulled the names and assigned characters. Grendel’smom and anotherkim were the first names called. They were going to be the groom’s dad and his slutty girlfriend. Swami and Mysterious Jedi would be the mother of the bride and the bride’s crazy old uncle. Pepe and Buggy became the bride’s Uncle Vinny and Aunt Nicole. While Supes and Sherps were busy explaining wacky characteristics for each person Coco and Nookie continued until the only roles left were that of the bride and groom. "And in the role of the Bride and Groom," Coco announced, "Moonie and IceCat". Everyone cheered! This was indeed a popular pairing. Coco then told the members of the wedding party that we had arranged for a special wardrobe for them so that they would look the part and that they were to go and get dressed for their roles.
IceCat and his groomsmen, Bucky, Farmboy, Conning Officer, and aethelstan went to one room to get dressed for the part while Moonie and her bridesmaids, Pooh, esbea, Bebo and Asrai headed to their room. This gave Supes and Sherps an opportunity to give the rest of the guests ideas for strange behavior during the wedding. Wild Chicken Hunter and samiam were already laughing up a storm about how disruptive they were going to be as the bride and groom’s ex-boyfriend and ex-wife. There were a few other items of clothing passed out to make some of the characters more believable. Meemo donned a collar for his role as the clergyman and Wheezy a habit for her part as the Groom’s cousin the Nun. Mon Cherie was very happy to be assigned the role of Mrs. Meemo.
Mandy, Jslice and Breezy joined Nailbone’s band as backup singers. Magicstar took a seat at the DJ’s table and began checking out CDs while ExI and silvergirl took their places behind the bar. Misto was cast as the caterer because she had flatly refused to be a mime. Probably clueless said he’d be a mime and we decided to give him the dual role of mime and caterer’s husband. (Why do you need a mime at a wedding you ask? Apparently 20 years from now all weddings will have mimes. Just something to look forward to.) Minitroll followed Misto and clueless to the kitchen to find an apron to make her performance as the caterer’s assistant more realistic. Rudyrules was asked to fuss over the flower arrangements as the florist and Devious Weasel and Sheila were given a video and digital camera to record the wedding. Fester, the bride’s gay brother and Technoir, the groom’s stripper sister were in a corner planning their own ways to add to the wackiness of the wedding.
Once the bridal party returned, true, the wedding planner, announced that it was time to begin. Sunny Bunny began playing an organ softly in the background while L8, the soloist, started singing Ave Maria. By now the chairs had been arranged to create an aisle and tribephyl and LionChow were ushering woeisme, the bride’s grandma, and plumblossom, the bride’s great grandma, to their seats. They were shuffling as only little old ladies can while waving and calling out to other guests as they made their way to their seats. Once everyone was seated Moonie and her attendants made their way down the aisle. Pooh had donned a padded belly under her dress to play the part of the very pregnant Maid of Honor. She joked about how this would be her only chance to be pregnant seeing as her eggs were long past their expiry date. Bebo was chewing her gum ferociously and joking around with Esbea as they waited for the ceremony to begin.
The groomsmen were lined up across the front of the chapel but they were totally preoccupied with the bridesmaids. Father Meemo cleared his throat and began the ceremony. “We are gathered here today to witness the joining of Moonbaby and IceCat.” Tjstein started to cry. She always cried at weddings. Summerchick passed her a tissue and patted Tj’s knee. Meemo kept it short and sweet, as everyone was anxious to get on with the reception. When he asked if anyone had just cause for these two not to be wed the back doors flew open and Wild Chicken Hunter and samiam burst into the chapel. Before they could even utter a single word bebekid and buckeyegirl tackled them and had them subdued in the back pew. Being the superspoiler that she was, bebekid knew that Hunter and sami were going to try to disrupt the ceremony so she had enlisted buckyegirl to help her save the wedding.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your Bride.” IceCat wrapped his arms around Moonie and dipped her as he sealed their union with a kiss. After what seemed like the longest, most passionate kiss ever he finally came up for air and the congregation broke into applause. All the women in the room were swooning just thinking about that kiss and all the men were jealous of the cool cat. Deonna and Doodlebug threw rice as the bride and groom headed out the door.
As the bridal party followed the happy couple outside to where the reception would take place Aethelstan approached Asrai and asked, "Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Gertrude?" His pick up lines certainly hadn’t improved in the last 20 years but Asrai laughed just the same. Kobrienfan greeted the wedding guests and pointed them in the direction of their seats.
Once everyone was seated sleeeve stepped up to the microphone and asked IceCat and Moonie to join him. “We now have another little surprise for you all.” announced sleeeve. “IceCat, I’ll let you have the honor of sharing our surprise.” IceCat stepped forward, “First, I’d like to say thank you to everyone for being here tonight to share in this special evening with Moonie and I. Next I’d like to say thank you to Meemo for doing us the favor of performing our wedding ceremony. What you all don’t know is that Meemo wasn’t just pretending to marry us, he actually just did marry us.” A shocked crowd burst into an explosion of questions. Moonie, IceCat and sleeeve as well as Coco, Nookie and I shared a satisfied smile. When the noise began to die down, Moonie stepped forward, “We wanted you all to be part of our wedding day and we wanted something different and fun. Thank you all for being here and making our wedding an incredibly memorable one. We hope everyone will continue to play along with their assigned characters and enjoy the remainder of the night. Let’s get this party going.”
As the northernlights danced across the sky, the first notes of You Light Up My Life could be heard as IceCat took Moonie’s hand and led her out onto the dance floor. I could only hope that their marriage would be as long and happy as the only other couple I knew that had danced to that song on their wedding night.
~ always has been a sucker for a happy ending.