This entry was inspired by the temperature at my house this morning. My ride to work went by quickly today because I was making this list up as I drove. Hope you enjoy it.Top 10 Ways You Know it’s –40 Outside
Dave: From the home office in North Bay, Ontario…hey, North Bay, isn’t that your hometown Paul?
Paul: No, that would be Thunder Bay Dave. Thunder Bay, not North Bay.
Dave: Thunder Bay, North Bay…what’s the difference? They’re both cold little hick towns in Northern Ontario.
Paul: Whatever Mr. Muncie. So North Bay, is that where the kid lives that writes the killer top tens?
Dave: Don’t think so. But…North Bay is where Top 10 Newbie northernlights is from.
Paul: Ooooooo…northernlights. I remember as a teenager laying out on the front lawn with my friends gazing at the sky watching the northernlights dancing…
Dave: Okaaaaay. No time to hear about that now Paul. We’ve got to get on with tonight’s Top Ten Ways You Know it’s –40 Outside. Seems to me this northernlights chick should know what she’s talking about here.
#10 A roaring fire, the furnace running non-stop and 3 space heaters doesn't stop ice from forming in the toilet.
#9 The only people you see smiling are taxi drivers, tow truck owners and travel agents.
Dave: She’s not as good at this as that bendy straw kid or the man of steel.
Paul: Give her a chance Dave. Maybe she just needs to get warmed up. *giggles like a schoolgirl*
#8 You seriously consider becoming a school bus driver so you could have the day off.
#7 You make more typos that anotherkim and Princess Pooh put together because of the gloves you're wearing.
#6 Your excuse for beating a total stranger to within an inch of their life is that they asked “Is it cold enough for you?”
#5 Square Tires.
#4 The dog is wearing Depends instead of going outside to pee.
#3 You’re wearing Depends because the waterlines are frozen and the toilet is out of order.
#2 Elvis Stojko performs a quad jump on your waterbed.
And the #1 Way You Know it’s –40 Outside…
#1 The girls are all wearing fur panties.