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"SSC3 The Last Game (FF)"
TechNoir 9741 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-02-03, 07:59 PM (EST)
 
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"SSC3 The Last Game (FF)" |
Almost against my will I found myself standing in an impossibly dingy corner of the ancient sub shop. The grimy dark green walls were the color I remembered with a few more accumulated layers of grease. This had always been a noisy place, full of students with an occasional professor or local kid wandering through. The silence today was the most striking change. The shop's prime had passed. The once ornate reverse paintings surrounding the golden name of the shop on the window were peeling for the last time. The shop still didn't serve vegetarian subs or that fancy coffee that cost more than most of the sandwiches. The aging owner just nodded when I entered, more responding to the sound of the bell on the door than the entrance of a potential customer. In the past few years he seemed to have become resigned to the dwindling numbers who rang that bell. It was probably his loneliness that finally drove him to accept one of the steady stream of buy-out offers that came his way. The location one block from the University was prime real estate in this market. All of us who hung out there knew his story. He had owned the place for more than two decades. When he dropped out of college his parents were worried about what would become of him, so they pulled together a small sum and put a down payment on this place, the only thing that seemed to hold his attention. Everyone was surprised that he kept up the payments. He had made it like his home, feeding his guests inexpensive food, keeping the floor swept and the music loud. He invited all of us to a huge party the day it was paid off. Somehow I thought I might run into a few old friends, but I guess they were all busy driving kids to soccer practice or reviewing contracts. I took a quarter out of my pocket and dropped it into that last mechanical pinball machine in the corner. I was out of practice, but my body still knew what to do. I don’t know how long I stood there in the almost dark, but I was shooting the third ball when the men with the dolly came to take it away. I couldn’t bear to watch it go, so I turned, waved to Al, and let myself out, listening to the bell on the door for the last time.
"Half of Tech's charm is that sometimes I have no idea what she's talking about" -- True
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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-03, 08:42 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: SSC3 The Last Game (FF)" |
You know what I love about your writing?You are so good at showing a broad picture and then narrowing to a point so carefully we don't notice, til you hit us in the gut with a an overcoming feeling we never knew we had. " I don’t know how long I stood there in the almost dark, but I was shooting the third ball when the men with the dolly came to take it away." Guh.
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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-03, 10:06 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: SSC3 The Last Game (FF)" |
Loved this. I felt like I was there.
You've given so much background in such a short piece, I could really feel the history behind your story.I loved the bell on the door line. I read this twice , last night and again this morning. Thanks Tech
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Survivorerist 4103 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-03, 02:15 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: SSC3 The Last Game (FF)" |
Ugh, that story just made my stomach turn. Great work Tech 
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cqvenus 9713 desperate attention whore postings
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08-03-03, 02:24 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: SSC3 The Last Game (FF)" |
this is very high-quality flash fictionyou convey a long, complicated story very well within a short (attention-span) contraint. very good stuff ~ cq 
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