Jizzy's Cornertime With Kismet
(Camera's focus on Kismet holding her EO notebook, opening a door into the Cornertime area. We see smoke billowing out the door from inside the room. Kismet enters the room and it looks almost like a fog machine is in use. Sillouhetted is the back of the room near a far corner is a man sitting on a stool facing a corner. Kismet begins making her way over to him, moving very slowly so the camera can follow her through the smoke.)
Welcome to another Cornertime Ladies and Gentlermen. Today's penitent is Jizzy a.k.a LizzLover, Jizzlobber, and LJI. He is a relative newcomer to the board, but his presence has been notable to say the least. The self proclaimed 'Savior of the sexually repressed', has been more active in our bar than anywhere else of late.
<In an aside to the cameraman Kismet says "Geeez! Don't we have any ventilation in this place? It's a good thing we never put in any smoke detectors." She arrives at the stool and we see that the smoke is very thick. The timer is unreadable. They shake hands and Kismet takes a seat on the stool opposite Jizzy. >
Thank you for the interview Jizzy. How long have you been in here? I can't even read your timer. What did you do and who sent you in here with drugs?
I'm not sure why I am being sent to the corner, but am going to take advantage of this time to smoke this joint in peace, without having to share. I imagine, GT may have had something to do with me being in the corner.
<Jizzy lights up as Kismet flips through the pages in her notebook.>
Yes, it seems that GT did send you here for not sharing. Personally, I think she just wanted some 'alone time' in the bar. So how did you find SB?
I originally tried to get into that "sucky" place but wasn't allowed. I think it may have had something to do with the name, LizzLover.
<Jizzy snickers and takes a hit.>
So who are your favorite people around this 'non-sucky' place?
<Jizzy does his best George W. imitation> I have many favorites here. I don't think it would be fair to single out any particular posters because I think that a lot of them add a lot to this board.
<Kismet gasps and the coughs. She starts waving at the smoke to look towards the timer.>
I don't think I could find the timer in all this smoke but consider thirty minutes added. I think I'm starting to get a contact buzz*, now who are your favorite posters again?
For a second there, I thought you were grabbing for my stash. I thought I was going to have to Vampslap you!! OK, a few of my favorites, in no particular order are...all the Lisa's, Dangerkitty, SherpaDave, GT and of course...YOU.
<Jizzy takes another hit. Kismet tries to hide her coughing.>
I can't believe you're capable of brown-nosing in your current condition, but apparently I am just wrong about that. So that we may ridicule you some more, want to tell us about your nickname fiasco?
<Jizzy rolls his eyes> The name, LizzLover was created quite hastily on one of those "somewhat less than sober" evenings. Basically, I thought Lizzy was "hot" and just went with it. Pretty pathetic, really. Actually, I have already contacted Webby and had my name changed. <takes hit>I am now known as, Jizzy. One day while passing the workday away in the chat room, JV told me that my name reminded him of Jizzlobber. People started calling me Jizzy in the bar, and well, it sorta "stuck". (hehe...I said "stuck").
So you started out on spoilers. Do you have any theories you want to take credit for?
Yes, I started out on spoilers. There are no theories that I would like to take credit for. What I tried to do was do the "legwork" for others by searching the web for rumors, pics, etc..and then give the folks here that didn't have the time to surf around, the interesting things I had stumbled upon. Oh, and Shakes, in case you're reading this...Lizzy should have won
that sling-shot competition !!
<Jizzy points finger toward the camera and takes a hit.>
Ya know, I almost forgot about you and shakes. You are one of a select few who went through a flame war with shakes and lived to tell about it. You inadvertently gave me the idea for the Original Flame guide, that eventually became EITS. What made you hang around after that? Do you like shakes more now?
<Jizzy shakes his head at Kis>
I try not to think about those early days of abuse by the Clown. Actually, my very first post on this board was blasting
away on Flying Squirrel for accusing someone of being a troll. Well, being a newbie myself, I took offense to it. I believe that Shakes replied to one of my posts on that thread, and hence, the war had begun. Of course, at the time I was unaware of this little "diddy" called Eye In The Sky that pointed out flame wars taking place on the board. All of a sudden, out of the blue, you all were there....taking up for the Clown. Once I realized everyone was watching, I backed down. I get along with the Clown now. His episode summaries are the greatest. I don't want to give him too much praise, though. He likes to do that himself. <takes hit>
You have been accused of stalking GT. She seems to like it, and you two excel at witty repartee. What is it about her that so fascinates you?
I like to ask what part of the country others are posting from. I'm not afraid to say that I live in St. Louis. Apparently, GT got a little freaked out by my asking where she lived. The more she played the "I'm not telling you #####" game, the more I got intrigued. It steamrolled from there, and that is where I was labeled as the stalker. She has loosened up a bit recently, but I'm not sure if it's my charming personality or all the drugs I have supplied to her in the bar <Jizzy smiles and takes a hit>
Damn I saw your pic recently and you are a hottie.. <Kismet giggles> Would you ever hook-up with someone you met here?
<Jizzy blushes and raises one eyebrow at Kis>
Why, thank you, Sweetie. I still don't know where this "Jizzy is a flirt" came from. You girls seem to be the aggressive ones to me. I just "jump on the boat once it sets sail". <wink>Would I hook-up?<cough cough>Uhhhhhhhh! That would depend. I don't normally "hook-up" with people that I've met on the internet, although I should since I practically live here. Let's just say this...."I wouldn't kick some of the girls here out of the bed for eating crackers" <Jizzy looks at joint> whoa... this stuff is messing me up
So what about the man behind the sad name? Want to talk about him?
I work in the Thermal Dynamics field, which is not very interesting to say the least. I started as an Autocad drafter, and have since moved into Sales. I did help to design a cooling unit on the Seawolf Nuclear Submarine, though. That's about as exciting as it gets. <puts head down in hand> I have no children, but I do have a cat. Her name is, Tidbit. She got her name because she was soooo small for the longest time. At one year old she was still smaller than the palm of my hand. <wonders if those shotgun tokes stunted her growth> <takes a hit> I love all kinds of sports (with the exception of Curling, Svist) . I have been an avid Dallas Cowboy fan since the age of six. Actually, I am playing in several softball leagues this year for the first time since my accident in 1998. In the first inning of the first game of the season, I collided with another outfielder while running full speed. Let's just say...I lost that battle. I broke every finger and every bone in BOTH hands, and required several surgeries! I don't recommend anyone try that! <LOL> Learning to wipe your ass with two casts up to the elbow is not pretty. <can tell Kis is disturbed by the ass remark> <takes hit>
I'm not disturbed, that was very funny. If you want though I can go get JV's old spice soap on a rope for you to suck on after we're through. Besides wiping your ass with two casts is there anything else unusual that you can do?
Being somewhat unusual myself, the things that I do seem pretty normal to me. <Jizzy rubs eye after suffering eye hit>
After thinking about this more, there are some things that I do that may be considered unusual by some. For one, I write Calligraphy. I once hand-wrote over 200 wedding invitations for my ex-girlfriend's wedding. At the time, I thought that perhaps with this kind gesture on my part, that I could possibly get one more chance to "score". <takes hit> Well, it didn't happen. All I did was end up with a sore hand! <no, Kismet.... from writing!!> Another odd thing that I do is collect horror movie masks. I have several thousand dollars worth of custom-made masks. I also enjoy working in the haunted houses that we have here each year. I usually work in 2 or 3 of them during the Halloween season.
Thats great LL or Jizzy or whoever you are today. I'm getting really sleepy for some reason so lets get this over with. <Kismet yawns.>Is there anything else you just have to tell us about you?
That's about it.....I'm glad I found such a cool site and have made some good friends. One thing that I do want all of you to remember though..............Lizz Still Is!!
<Jizzy flips roach.>
Thanks Jizzy.. Well folks, there you have it, another cornertime out of the way. For those of you thinking that he got off easy, take a look around. There isn't anything to eat or drink... See you next time..
*I consulted the drug experts(Sami and JV) in the bar, and they told me that you can get a contact buzz, but it would take a long time. Realistic or not it was fun.*