The simple fact we had TWO challenges this week instead of the one last week made for a better episode. It also made for some pathetic performances to reinforce what a terrible job Production does with casting. More on that later. Before we get to the meat of the competition, let’s get some sappy social dynamics out of the way.We start with Josh who thinks he’s sitting in the catbird seat at Soka because he is the middleman between the dork-mance and Danny/Heidi. Actually, it’s a similar position enjoyed by Carson at Tika. The difference is Carson is on a tribe of simpletons, so he’s able to get away with it. Not the case with Josh because, unbeknown to him, both pairs are biding their time waiting for the opportunity to drop-kick Josh out of the game.
Back at the Tika camp, because we all observed during the opening seconds of this season Carolyn’s need for direction, Production had to be smacking her in the head and telling her to do something with the fake idol twist already that they put so much dumb thought into. Whoever’s idea the "X" was (I’m going to take a guess and say Production) it’s a stupid one...here’s why. ALL THREE TRIBES have the same cage at camp. You know bloody darn well a tribal switch is coming very, VERY soon. As a matter of fact, it arrived that very same day.
When players switch tribes, information is shared. We saw it with Matthew and Carson this episode. We all heard Matthew specifically bring up the cage. It’s inconceivable Carson would not follow up and ask Matthew about the “Red X” at which point Matthew would appropriately reply something to the effect, “what the hell are you talking about???” Translation: BUSTED. Stupid idea! The only question was which simpleton would be gullible enough to take the bait. Drum roll, please...it’s do-do brain Sarah. Enough with this social crap...on to the first challenge. And if you’re going to go through all that effort to dupe someone, by gosh, at the very least know WHO you are duping!
Before the challenge, Ratu and Tika got their first look at the new Soka tribe. For those who believe the obnoxious nauseating embellishment we are subjected to is being purposely forced by Production, I guess no one got the memo for this episode, because there was barely a reaction when it was announced that Claire was voted out at the last TC. So, we can stick a harpoon in that hogwash theory.
The first challenge was for rewards (a large tarp and a smaller tarp) where each member of the tribe must slingshot a bag and hit a target. Not surprisingly, Carolyn is woefully pitiful. Perhaps if she took off her pants it might help her...OOPS, she was wearing shorts. * snort *
Jeff, with his annoying commentary, states to Carolyn, “that’s NOT getting it done.” PSST...Probst, come over here so I can whisper in your ear. No better yet, let me scream it in your face, “what’s NOT getting it done is you (Production) sucking when it comes to casting a season!” Even Matthew, dislocated shoulder and all, was able to hit his target. Soka won, and not surprisingly thanks to Carolyn, Tika finishes last.
As the winning team, Soka selected one player from each tribe to embark to Journey Island. Josh, Jaime, and Carson are selected. When they arrive, they each take a separate path that led to a similar outcome. All received an II good only up to the merge. They must now draw a buff from another tribe and join that new tribe.
Josh goes to Tika. He is crushed because he is still under the delusion, he was in a powerful position at Soka. He starts off lying about his profession and Tika is not buying it. Yam-Yam goes so far to say he “hates liars.” Well then, why are you playing THIS game?? And I have this very sneaky suspicion by Day 26 he’ll be “hating” himself.
Jaime goes to Soka. She’s got a smile on her face wide enough to swallow her ears because she “wants the entire Survivor experience.” Conversely, Soka is not all smiles. When the boat arrives carrying Jaime, Embellishment Queen Frannie should have wrapped her buff beneath her chin and secured it with a knot tied on top of her head to keep her jaw from hitting the ground. * snort *
Matt goes on to say he’s pretty sure she has an idol/advantage, but in the same breath, declares she has “no shot” at staying in the tribe. HMMMM, correct me if I’m wrong, but if Jaime does have an idol, it gives her a GREAT shot at staying in the tribe. Yep, way to pick ‘em Production. The certainty of Jaime possessing an idol hits a snag when Danny’s self-approved “search warrant” of Jaime’s possessions comes up empty.
Carson joins Ratu. Matthew is beside himself over losing an ally in Jaime. Yes, the same Jaime he went through great lengths with the deliberate intent to purposely humiliate with a fake idol. To his credit he wastes little time bonding with his new tribemate. He tells Carson everything that transpired with the cage/II at Soka. Carson, likewise, wastes little time throwing his former tribemates under the bus calling out Yam-Yam and Carolyn as a power duo. The immediate assumption is Yam-Yam’s running the show and Carolyn is riding his coattails, Carson rolls with it.
Due to the switch, the new Ratu tribe is now comprised of FOUR men to only ONE female (Lauren.) This must be extremely disheartening for anyone who’s feathers are ruffled over the prospect of starting a season with two tribes of nine because of a 5-4 imbalance.
All three new tribes come in for the IC. Soka arrives with Lauren gloatingly waving the Immunity Sword. That swagger was squashed rather quickly. Each competitor had to jump UP from a platform and grab a key before falling into the ocean. It appeared Lauren decided on jumping “down” instead of up, missed the key completely, and in a most embarrassing fashion, bellyflops into the ocean.
Now, the rule is you need to go back to the beginning to restart. But not Lauren; she checks-out and flat-out quits forcing Brandon to make up for her sorry ass failure. She went from swashbuckling with the Immunity Sword to that shameful effort. AHHH yes, the beauty of human humility! LMAO!! And don’t be slinging the slop making excuses citing her lack of height. I’m fairly certain Heidi is even SHORTER and she was able to grab a key.
We went from human humility to human humiliation when Kane and Yam-Yam looked like two greased pigs trying to cross the balance beam. What was more disturbing than Kane and Yam-Yam’s efforts was their bare midriff exposed both sporting a “dickie-does.”
For those unfamiliar with the terminology, that’s when a man’s belly sticks out further than his “dickie-does.”
AND THIS IS AFTER NINE DAYS OF FOOD DEPRIVATON.
Yep, way to pick ‘em Production.
In the end, new-Soka was able to capitalize on its early lead and bring home victory. New-Ratu Puzzle-meister Carson was able to make up for Lauren’s woeful effort to finish runner-up, and new-Tika finished last securing a date with TC.
Jeff scored Danny’s celebratory jump into the ocean an “11.” I wonder what he would have scored Lauren’s bellyflop. A negative-20??
As with every post-IC return back to camp, a scramble ensues at Tika. Newcomer Josh is the obvious threat, but with the prospect he may have an idol/advantage, the need to deflect the target to one of their own is evident. Yam-Yam takes it upon himself to designate himself Mr. Relevant and essentially tells Carolyn she’s “perceived” as more disposable.
As much as I will continue to ride Production for casting an individual imbalanced and kooky like Carolyn, I’m 100% in her corner on this one. Even a perfectly stable person would be understandably slighted, but considering what Carolyn has gone through in her life, it had to really hit her in the gut. To her credit, she addressed it as well as one could and managed to spin it to her advantage.
Yam-Yam, on the other hand, was dumb-dumb. Forget the insensitivity, this idiot may have tossed away a perfect goat and a potential million-dollar ticket. Even Josh realized the benefit of partnering with Carolyn, when he darn near placed himself in her lap prior to the upcoming TC.
Speaking of TC, what a spectacle of nonsensical verbal diarrhea. Obviously, Jeff and I have vastly different senses of humor. While he was unable to control himself through the whole “Felicia” nonsense, personally, I never even chuckled. To compound the idiocy, Carolyn claimed Yam-Yam “slipped” because he referenced “HER” when targeting an original Tika tribemate. With Sarah and Carolyn the only remaining original Tika tribemates, how could it not be a “her?” Sweet Mother of Mercy...Where do they find these people??!!
As stupid as the “X” was, at least someone bit on the bait. During TC, Josh literally called out the “charade” for the nonsense it was. Despite Production’s Red Herring, there’s no way Josh would do anything but play the idol for himself, sending Sarah down the walk of shame who told us she’d play her (fake) idol if Josh played his. It didn’t happen and probably just as well since the whole fake idol scenario at Tika was stupid anyway.
Next Time on Survivor...
Matthew starts crying like a little girl over his boo-boo shoulder. Frannie probably breaks down in uncontrollable hysterics when seeing the new Tika tribe and learning Sarah (a player she only knows by name) was voted out at the last TC. And how bad does it get between Yam-Yam and Josh? When a dude with a husband refers to you as a “bitch,” dem are fightin’ words!!
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