LAST EDITED ON 03-10-23 AT 05:53 AM (EST)

It feels good to nail it every now and then. I suspected last week Matthew purposely played his shot-in-the-dark as a savvy strategic move so he wouldn’t have to vote and show his hand. Although, there was always the chance I may have been overthinking his motive and it could have just been a case of plain ‘ole paranoia. Well, the opening scene in Ep. 2 confirmed my read on Matthew’s strategy. I bet Kane wishes he had also thought along those lines. I suspect Brandon will hold a grudge and if Ratu has another date with TC before a potential tribal switch, I will likewise suspect Kane is in some deep do-do.

Easily the best line of the episode (and at the risk of a premature prediction since it’s only Ep. 2) quite possible the best line of the season came from our NY firefighter, Danny. I’m paraphrasing, “I don’t know the best way to find an idol, but I know the WORST way is by not looking at all.” THANK YOU, DANNY!!!! I’ve been ranting and raving that for years with season after season of casting debacles. Even dimwitted Carolyn knew as much! So, kudos to BOTH for understanding the worst way is by not looking at all, finding the key, and retrieving the idol. And better yet, both (figuratively) put Ben’s finger up to their lips and said, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by deciding to keep it to themselves.

Danny’s prophetic line should have been the title of this episode instead of that goofy one about some “dork magnets.” Although, I guess it’s been a while since we had anything that even resembled a “showmance,” so in retrospect I understood why Production would orgasm over that angle. What I had a more difficult time understanding is why would Claire get a bug up her crotch over the budding showmance between Matt and Frannie. Let’em...the closer they get, the bigger the target painted on THEIR backs. Yeah, yeah, I know Rob and Amb”a” made it to the Finals in S8; but that was “old school” Survivor and as Probst loves to shove down our throats, today is “new school” Survivor. Perhaps that pesky “bug” could be the reason Claire is getting early Squatter Rights on the Sandra Sit-Out Bench.

The “Dork Magnets” should have been Yam Yam, Helen, Carson, and Sarah when they got together to figure out who may have opened the cage. What a comedy show when they got together and started suspecting EACH OTHER. Our resident “Rocket Scientist” boasted of his ability to read someone by body language and initially suspected Sarah. Hey, NASA Boy...perhaps a better “language” would have been to read the body that WASN’T there. DUHHHH!!!!!

Only one challenge this episode...and a recycled one at that. How recycled? So recycled IC MVP Matthew built a prototype in his backyard to practice with!? PSSST Production. * Hint * * Hint * How about you start coming up with NEW challenges???!!! OH, but that means Production would actually have to do something right. * snort *

The Tale of Two Players: Carson smartly hides the fact he was creating “damn friggin’ puzzles” in his NASA lab to practice, while Matthew reveals how he acquired his expertise to EVERYONE. Perhaps, that may keep him in good graces with his tribemates while the game is still tribe vs. tribe. But if anyone is now primed to be the first post-merge boot when the game (and the challenges) become individual, my moolah is on Matthew.

You got to believe Carson and Yam Yam must have suspected Carolyn had the idol by the time they were getting ready for Tribal. They could have still maintained their trio alliance AND put enough doubt in her fragile neurotic pee-brain to make her play it and flush out the idol...but they did not. Sarah better be praying to the Survivor Gods that Tika does NOT have another date with TC before a possible tribal switch.

Favorite TC moment was when Helen turns to Carolyn to console the poor emotional trainwreck only to soon discover the headlights beamed down on HER. It did not replace my favorite Survivor moment of all-time but was similar to it when quintessential male-basher Amii in S9 gave a similar consoling look toward Eliza only to find out it would be her closest ally getting the blindside and she herself would follow next.

Next time on Survivor, Kane does a poor rendition of Luke Skywalker; Danny does an even worse impression of Peter Pan; and who knows what the hell Yam Yam was trying to do???
The “dork magnets” still stay connected which means the “bug” still stays “up Claire’s crotch.”