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"S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION"
Aruba 3264 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-07-22, 05:36 PM (EST)
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"S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
After a brief sabbatical, the Aruban Commission has reemerged to assess Episode 5. Those unfamiliar with the Aruban Commission, like the Warren Commission during the aftermath of the JFK assassination established to bring light to the assassination, the Aruban Commission will do the same with last night’s episode. As long as conspiracy theorists continue to walk the face of the earth, almost 60 years later, the findings/determinations of the Warren Commission’s final report still come under scrutiny. The Aruban Commission will be just as undeterred to the same type of scrutiny as it provides its observations and determinations from Ep.5.OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #1 – To escape the non-stop babble, Jonathan seeks refuge in the ocean with the speargun and returns with a seafood feast. If Taku is as observant as the Commission, it would behoove the women to perpetually flap their traps anytime they get hungry to assure the tribe stays well-fed. OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #2 – Maryanne flips out accusing Jonathan of invading her “workspace.” In order for an area to be designated as “workspace” whoever is occupying the area has to actually be...AHHH...WORKING. And “working” your mouth does NOT qualify. Translation: Maryanne...STFU already!!! OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #3 – Given his obvious size, Jonathan feels he needs to walk on eggshells because any confrontation (even if he’s 100% in the right) will be ignorantly perceived as bullying. He’s spot on but that concern is not as prevalent as the Anti-Darwin Syndrome in the game of Survivor...a condition that is sure to victimize him (and the Commission determines) more sooner than later. OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #4 – “Professor” Daniel, now a self-defined educator, has deemed himself qualified to “grade” various disciplines of the Vati tribe. Let the Commission get in on the “Grade Parade” and hand out a grade of its own to Production for casting a player like Daniel...A Big Fat “F.” OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #5 – Tori doesn’t like Rocksroy. Allow the Commission to clarify that statement – She downright HATES him. So much, she has no qualms cutting ties with her Ika tribe at the first possible opportunity and throwing them under a bus starting with Rocksroy. Hey Blondie, unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock for the past two years, there’s a BLM movement sweeping the nation. Any spearhead attempt to target Rocksroy will most likely result in a one-way ticket to the Ponderosa. Just saying... OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #6- Boy, isn’t Drea SOOOOOO lucky to have Romeo as her coach “training her to be a better Survivor player?” Can this emaciated clown be any more delusional? Drea already had an amulet and an extra vote BEFORE finding the advantage which is now an idol. Romeo’s most notable claim at this early juncture is occupying the Sandra Sit-Out Bench THREE times already. Drea appropriately announces she’s “Survivor rich.” Well, before evaluating your “wealth,” be sure you don’t owe Romeo any commission for this coach/training services you are SO fortunate to have. * snort * OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #7 – CHALLENGE TIME. No surprise Daniel volunteers, yet again, to occupy the Sandra/Daniel Sit-Out Bench because, in his own words, “he has little value.” Don’t flatter yourself...you have NO value. Another stellar casting find...hey Production, you SUCK! OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #8 – Can the Commission further incorporate the word “Suck” in this report and not refer to Omar in the challenge? Kudos to Lindsay for at least trying to help/support the 30-year-old virgin who doesn’t have to worry about leaving the toilet seat up as futile as her efforts were. If not for Survivor Stud Jonathan stepping up to save the day, Taku goes to TC. Omar owes him BIG TIME. OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #9 – Lydia and Rocksroy are selected for the Exploration. Here, Lydia shares a “shocking” and “stunning” revelation *Commission sarcasm* that she, like millions of American in the USA (a nation that embarrassingly leads the world in obesity rate by a large margin) has struggled with her body image. The Commission would like to offer some helpful hints to reverse this struggling self-image: 1) start exercising or exercise more frequently, and 2) be mindful of your calorie intake. You’d be pleasantly surprised how well it would work. REALLY, honestly you will. But here’s the rub—it will take proactive effort and the Commission is keenly aware “proactive” is a dirty word to most of the casting debacles on Survivor. OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #10 – Since it’s apparent proactivity is not in Lydia’s DNA, she has conditioned her mind to believe her body is (and this is her quote) “perfect.” Good for her—God bless her; but what she needs to realize is not everyone has the same definition of “perfection.” Translation—PLEEEEASE LOSE THE SHORTS! OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #11 – Much will be made of Chanelle’s perplexing vote for Mike at TC. The Commission’s determination: Chalk it up as another example of idol paranoia. With the abundance of idols, advantages, etc. floating around, to presume Daniel might be able to play an idol and save himself would not have been far-fetched. Chanelle knew Daniel was voting for her; but did not know she’d receive two votes. Had Daniel played an idol, the prospect of ending her Survivor dream on potentially just pathetic Daniel’s sole vote would have been understandably and overwhelmingly crushing. Casting a vote for Mike might have given her a fighting chance on a 1-1 revote against Mike. In any event, at the end of the day the appropriate castaway was deservingly booted. OBSERVATION/DETERMINATION #12 – NEXT TIME ON SURVIVOR: Jeff is asked a very straight-forward question, ”Is this a merge?” Jiffy replies with one of his patented half-ass answers, ”Not exactly.” Either it IS or it ISN’T. It’s like a woman saying she’s just “a little bit pregnant.” Either you ARE or you AREN’T. We’ll have TWO-HOURS to decipher Jeff’s cryptic answer.
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michel2 3930 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-07-22, 07:43 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
Ah! yes, the famous Warren commission whose programmed blindness saved the world from many embarrassing questions. What if it had pointed to Cuba or the U.S.S.R.? Or maybe the mafia? Those area of questionning would have been messy so blaming one guy was much easier. At least, no one can blame the Aruban Commission of blindness, it certainly calls 'em as it sees 'em. I just wish it would look a bit deeper; Could it be curious instead of judgmental? Observations 1, 2 and 3 amount to 1 thing really: The commission had judged that Jonathan is the most if not the only player worthy of the title of Sole Survivor. As a Survivor Expert Analyst, I can say that in order to follow Darwin's rule of Survival one must adapt to changing conditions. In Survivor the biggest change in condition is the transition from tribal to individual play. Jonathan is built for the Tribal phase but his brain isn't very flexible. He's always delared to the world that he is VERY TIGHT with his group but his group will NEVER have the numbers at the merger. He would need allies from other tribes but who would want to jump to be 5th or 6th in a VERY TIGHT group of 4? It's not any supposed Anti-Darwin Syndrome that will do in Jonathan, it's his own inability to understand the game.
The Expert Survivor Analyst puts Maryanne chances of winning the game much higher than Jonathan's. Counter-Observation 4: Casting did a fine job in casting a long time fan in Dan. He is smart and an interesting character. As always, it's the game organizers that are to blame. If a player wasn't allowed to sit-out more than once before everyone else in his tribe has sat out once also then Dan's ineptitude would have led to an earlier elimination. Counter-Observation #5: Rocksroy is an alpha male who can't adapt to this game so I'm guessing Tori won't have any problems finding allies to vote him out. Counter-Observation 6: The commissioner is so intent on being sarcastic that he forgets his main quality: Drea is a great player so why not simply call it like you see it. No need to bash Beta-Romeo to make that point. Bashing Beta-Romeo should come naturally. To counter #7 just read counter-observation #4 again. Counter-Observsation#8: While your observation is spot on you add a comment that is pure non-sense. Omar was probably saved by Jonathan but he doesn't OWE him anything more than a thank you. Omar's next vote has nothing to do with this challenge. Counter-Observation#9 and 10: Sexist much? Counter-Observation#11: Although the commissioner gives an astute observation about the reason for Chanelle's dumb vote, it should be noted that she almost voted herself out of the game. Counter-Observation#12: It took me 2 seconds to decipher Jiffy's «Cryptic answwer»: They will merge but the challenge will be done in teams and only the members of the losing team go to TC with probably the same twist that saw Erika reverse the results last season. PS. Yes I bash the commission but it's for ols times sake. You did a great job with this summary. PPS. Don't expect my post next week to come out this early. With a 2 hour episode I'll have a lot of crap to recrap.
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Aruba 3264 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-08-22, 06:10 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
At this point in the season, ABSOLUTELY Maryanne stands a better chance of winning S42 than Jonathan. The Commission not only acknowledges that assessment but agrees with it. The prospect of a castaway (like Maryanne) at the merge point of the season being able to skip-to-my-Lou to the endgame (coupled with the ADS,) quite honestly, makes Maryanne an odds-on-favorite to “win.”Jonathan had little choice but deflect attention perpetrated by Jeff (along with Tori chiming in) for his proactive “give-it-my-best-shot” efforts and counter by trying to play the team (tribe) effort angle. Anyone who couldn’t see that as a deliberate attempt to undermine his dominance and minimize the ADS target on his back was completely blind. You can psychoanalyze Darwin all you wish, but make no mistake about it, when Jonathan gets the boot, it will be because a majority of the lame casting debacles wanted to eliminate the most proactive threat to maintain their Survival of the UNfittest. The Commission also agrees Tori will have little problem finding remaining players who WANT Rocksroy eliminated. But WILL they eliminate him? That’s a whooooole ‘nother bowl of wax. Daniel was the latest in the long line of casting embarrassments. Twenty-five years ago, he might have been a fine selection for MTV Real World, but for Survivor he was a bomb. Even his own tribemates who lived with him 24-hours a day for 11 days appropriately declared him a liability. No question Romeo is not even half the player Drea is. BTW, calling him a “Beta”-male is a rave; a more suitable designation would be “Omega”-male. LOL. Contrary to your criticism, the Commission agrees with your assessment on Drea. On a sidenote, if we were ranking players after Ep. 5, the Commission would rank Drea #1 right now. It’s all the more reason the Commission targeted Romeo in this report for wanting to take credit for the player Drea is. So, why focus on Romeo over Drea? Allow us to step away to take another look at this Forum’s name. Yep, the confirmation is in...the title of this Forum is BASHERS. All rise...case dismissed!! That being said, the Commission will take it a step further and predict Romeo probably advances further than Drea this season using the same appropriate logic as was used with Jonathan/Maryanne earlier in this post. To even bring up Omar’s “next vote” is all the more reason to owe Jonathan BIG TIME. Omar wouldn’t even HAVE a “next vote” had it not been for Jonathan’s efforts. Being the one primarily responsible for extending another’s Survivor dreams deserves a WHOLE lot more than just a mere “thank you.” Leave it to the Survivor fan/Board poster with an obvious bias toward female castaways to inaccurately and inappropriately label the Commission as “sexist.” The Commission was hoping our Canadian friend would get a kick out of bashing its own native land (USA) over its obesity rate. Ha-Ha. Please note “Americans” were referenced as in ALL Americans...not just female Americans. Many men struggle with body image as well. Last week the Aruban Academy of Reality TV bashed Rocksroy for his 40+ inch girth. Not that any further clarification should be required given the name...but...Rocksroy happens to be a...MAN. The reason Lydia was targeted on this Ep. 5 Commission Report is because she used the word “perfect” when referencing HER body. That, in itself, was enough to paint a basher target the size of Alaska that would barely fit on her intentional exposed ham hocks disguised as legs (erroneous “sexist” label aside.) Sure, Chanelle came close to “cooking her own goose,” but it was still the Idol/Advantage Paranoia that filled the pot, started the fire, and heated the water to potentially do the “cooking.” Thanks to the idols, amulets, advantages, and let’s now throw in the “shot in the dark,” so many variables make it difficult to second guess any paranoia appropriately felt by the players at TC and how/why they voted. The reason for the Commission’s assessment on Chanelle’s vote was to emphasize the understandable reluctance of potentially allowing a joke of a player like Daniel to single-handedly end her game. The Commission was on leave during last season S41, so it is not at liberty to respond to any reference/reply/post pertaining to S41. No need to be concerned over any time limit for next week’s Ep. 6 post. Not sure if you were aware the episode was a 2-hour show when you volunteered, but you’ve been handed a double-duty. A lesser man would crumble; but the Commission has all the confidence in the world you’ll be up to the task!
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michel2 3930 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-08-22, 08:11 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
No need to psychoanalyze Charles Darwin, we only need to read his work: Survival is for the most adaptable. So it is with Survivor and, if you remember the 3 other members of Orange did a face-slap when Jonathan boasted about the strength of their group. No, he didn't have to say it, he could have deflected the questions another way but he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.Jonathan knows only one way to play and that's winning challenges. Of course, that's what makes you salivate but Hatch had realized 42 seasons ago that Survivor ISN'T about winning challenges that the best thing to do, sometimes, is to throw a challenge. If the tribe had seen Daniel as a liability, it wasted a chance to take him out at their first TC. Like I said, the problem was that he wasn't enough of a liability because of the stupid sit-out rules. If you had bothered listening to what he had to say you would have realized that, without his unfortunate injury, he could have been a star this season. Yes, you also bashed Rocksroy for his size BUT, being sexist, it didn't bother you half as much as seeing Lydia in shorts. Man! you almost threw up.
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Aruba 3264 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-12-22, 09:46 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
The understatement of this post is the game has evolved by leaps and bounds since S1: Borneo when Hatch took home the million bucks (and was determined to keep EVERY penny of it much to the chagrin of Uncle Sam.) Talk about not being the “sharpest tool in the shed.”Shows like Survivor and even Big Brother that have stood the test of time had no choice but use reality shows before them (that tossed humans in a controlled environment to scurry around like lavatory rats) to lay the groundwork for what was initially coined the “Social Experiment.’ Needless to say, challenges and competitions have become much more instrumental with ALL Reality Shows. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, we wouldn’t be watching the 42nd season if we didn’t have them. Anytime anyone is recognized as an MVP (which is EXACTLY what Jeff did with Jonathan) the honoree almost ALWAYS recognizes those around them. I suppose at sports award shows, or even non-sports award presentations, i.e., Grammys, etc., and the honoree humbly and graciously recognizes those around them, they are cases of not being the “sharpest tools in the shed.” WOW, that’s quite a spin. If you are just yanking my chain with your derogatory “sexist” accusation, you may skip the rest of this paragraph while the Commission acknowledges the bogus banter. Otherwise… If you wish to state the Commission is partial toward individuals who pride themselves on giving 110% and putting out optimum effort, then fire away. But by using nothing more than written words in a Basher forum to incorrectly (and inappropriately) label anyone or a group as “sexist” is an ignorant and short-sighted criticism. You’re spot on with your assessment of the Commission about “calling ’em as it sees ‘em.” Any bashings of Lydia, Rocksroy, etc., etc., are precisely that, and should not be “spun” to characterize a politically and socially incorrect designation on the Commission. You’re right; we can appropriately criticize the Vati tribe for wasting the chance to boot Daniel when they first had the opportunity. Daniel was spared when Vati decided to target equally pathetically inept Lydia and the oldest woman on the tribe. Daniel? Potential “star???” ROFLMAO! You can’t blame his boo-boo shoulder for his TC blunder when Jenny paid the price for his idiocy. Taku was in a similar position when they passed on the opportunity to boot Maryanne in lieu of the oldest woman on ITS tribe. The consensus of the Commission at that Ep. 2 TC moment was they’ll rue the day they allowed someone like Maryanne to make the merge and punch her gifted golden ticket to the F6...or even the F4 in unfortunate Survivor fashion. Now watch Maryanne be the first post-merge boot. Ha-Ha. If that happens, before you make the Commission eat crow, could we at least let it soak overnight in marinade before it’s cook? LOL!
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michel2 3930 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-12-22, 09:13 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
Do you really think that winning immunity is MORE important now than when Hatch played? If so, you haven't understood the evolution of the show. Back then NUMBERS were everything. Arrive at the merger with less than your opponents and chances were high your tribe would be picked up one by one. Nowadays, especially when a season features 3 stable tribes, it's certain that no one will have numbers at the merger so making late alliances is much more important than the early ones. I had a fellow poster expose that, in three tribe season, it could be a good idea to lose and go down to two players so that you don't pose a threat and you can hop on another alliance to cut the tribe with numbers. He called his plan «intentional Matsing» from the tribe that saw Denise win and Malcolm finish fourth despite being the only two remaining members of the original Matsing Tribe.
I had to take a second look to realize that you do mean your comparison between answering Jiffy and stepping up to the podium on an awards show. How do you come up with such weird analogies? SURVIVOR IS NOTHING LIKE REA LIFE and neither are award shows but for completely different reasons. Award Winners, (unless they had the audacity to slap someone in the face just before winning) are on top of the world and no one can bring them down. Survivors are in deep doodoo when they stand out so yes, Jonathann HAD to deflect the question. Remind everyone that not all challenges are physical so his win that day didn't mean much. Did you hear Daniel (speaking of his great input) brilliantly refuting your old saying «You are who you are»? It came in form of an analogy about Muhammad Ali: In the ring, Ali knocked the sh*t out of his opponents but in REAL LIFE he never went around hitting anyone. You can lie in Survivor wothout being a real life liar. In fact, it applies to most past players Instead of looking at his disastrous challenge performances, listen to some of Daniel's confessional. That would make you realize that he was an interesting player.
If the commissioner isn't sexist then how do you explain that your favorites are almost ALWAYS MEN?
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Aruba 3264 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-13-22, 06:17 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: S42 Ep. 5 - Return of the ARUBAN COMMISSION" |
Anyone who has read my posts over the years knows I’ve never been a fan of starting the season with three tribes. Your assessment gives me yet another reason why.Whereas it is true because of different changes in the game, the prospect of throwing challenges has been entertained and discussion, to pull the trigger and actually DO IT is what I criticize. Whenever any subject of behavior, etiquette, or choice of conduct are discussed, I will always revert to my own personal upbringing. It doesn’t matter how you wish to apply your PhD in Spinology, I will never advocate intentionally losing on purpose. Bottomline, I would NEVER raise my child to deliberately lose. If they don’t win, it’s OK as long as they give it their best shot. Furthermore, I would never impress on my child it’s OK to initiate lies/dishonesty to get an edge. Hey, that’s me...and I can hold my head up high when I say that. If others have different parental approaches, then so be it. Different strokes for different folks; whatever floats your boat... Daniel was not the first, nor will he be the last to make a meager attempt at self-preservation. Like DUH, do you REALLY expect him (or others before him) to say being a lying dung of donkey’s dust comes easy to me and given that natural inclination I have no problem initiating that to seek an advantage??? LOL. Of course not! Listen, I’m not saying people cannot successfully wear a false mask or live behind a façade when things are going well and life is a “bowl of cherries.” It’s when a few dark clouds start hovering over the horizon and life is not all that hunky-dory, does one’s true colors come to surface. Sure, placing the castaways in a dire situation with adverse conditions outside of their comfort zone makes for good TV; but there’s an ulterior motive for this approach—it brings out the TRUE YOU among the players...and no lame backpedaling that Daniel attempted at TC can suggest otherwise (at least not in my mind.) As for the Ali analogy, make no mistake about it, he was a vicious, nasty, hurtful individual “between the bells.” No, he did not go off and start slugging people in public which would have led to certain incarceration (unlike the 5-year sentence handed to him for draft-dodging he never had to serve while on appeal.) But that doesn’t mean his nasty, hurtful and vicious demeanor/nature did not exist outside the ring. Ali’s “true colors” were not only exemplified with his fists, but extended to his tongue. Case in point, the horrible, hurtful and obnoxiously racial attacks verbally directed at Joe Frazier (outside the ring) were nothing short of deplorable. One of the more iconic sports photos of all-time featured Ali (actually Clay at the time) standing over the man he defeated to earn his first title...Sonny Liston...who (BTW) served time in a federal penitentiary. Trevor Berbick—incarcerated for assault and rape; Floyd Mayweather—for domestic violence; Riddick Bowe, etc. etc. It would be beyond ignorant to say what came naturally to these men in the ring had absolutely NO bearing on all those despicable/criminal acts. And I’m only scratching the surface; if you want to really get me going with Mike Tyson, then it’s...All rise; Case dismissed! No question I will always be partial toward the proactive, not carried, non-inept, have a big part in controlling one’s own fate type of player in the game of Survivor, REGARDLESS OF COLOR, RACE, AGE, RELIGION, SEXUAL PREFERENCE, AND YES...GENDER. As for asking why many have been man? A very valid question, but asking ME is barking up the wrong tree. That question should be asked to PRODUCTION. It might also shed some light on why 25 of the past 41 Sole Survivors have been men. Not that Production does a stellar job casting men, but when it comes to casting a vast majority of female castaways, the qualities I covet most (as I stated above) rarely exist with most of their female choices. It’s not that Production is unable...they’ve done it with former champions like Danni, Kim, Natalie Anderson (who was a BEAST performer from Exile Island finishing runner-up on Winners at War to runaway slam-dunk victor Tony V.) But for every Danni or Kim, you have scores of women who look for/need to be carried, allowed to proceed to the endgame by virtue of their ineptness, or those with nothing more to bring to the table other than their great looks (plastic lolos notwithstanding.) Contrary to your inaccurate accusation, to offer my non-sexist input, I truly believe it’s a very sad commentary I do NOT advocate and not indicative of your average woman. At the risk of being repetitious, I’ll sum it up in two words...PRODUCTION SUCKS. I’ll let those be the final words. Onto Episode 6 (...and looking forward to reading your initial post.)
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