First off, thank you kindly for your thoughtful condolence on the other thread.WOW
Being able to give an assessment on ALL 18 castaways for this "nameless" season after only episode 2 is beyond impressive!
Speaking of Episode 2...here goes:
When Ika returns back from TC, we hear all the bogus babble over how sorry they were voting Zach out...Yadda...Yadda...Yadda... No one was more “distraught” than phony baloney Tori who needs more buses than you can find parked in front of a school during dismissal to throw her tribemates under.
Case in point, no sooner than Drea decides to share her advantage with her other female tribemates, Tori’s flagging down one of those buses for Drea who has Swati’s knife (she didn’t have to use to chop off one of her fingers) already imbedded in Drea’s back.
When it comes to these idiotic morons who are unable to control their enthusiasm and insist on sharing their idol/advantage to anyone within earshot, we got a two-for-the-price-of-one in this episode.
Mike successfully finds an idol as well. He goes through such great efforts to hide the idol to a point where even HE has difficulty remembering HIS OWN hiding place...only to spill the beans about the idol find anyway??? Daniel is already thinking of orchestrating a blindside to flush out the idol.
DUMBASSES!!!
Last week’s two-hour premier apparently did not provide enough time for all the castaway’s back stories, hence Ep. 2 attempted to fill in the remaining gaps.
Hai starts crying uncontrollably like a sissy-boy because as a vegetarian he has no rice to get him through the adverse conditions on ONLY DAY FOUR! He says he wants to use his Survivor experience to “learn more about himself.” Well, fans/viewers don’t need to learn anymore about Hai other than it doesn’t take a whole lot for him to come apart and carry on like a toddler’s first day of school and the realization he’ll be separated from mommie. BOO-HOO! What a crybaby WUSS!!
Omar plays the “Religion Card” using his Muslim Faith of solitary prayer in hopes it will not raise suspicion with his tribemates thinking he’s going off privately to look for an idol. Yeah...RIGHT! He’s so aggressive with this “card” he suggests turning Taku into a Theology 101 class. Omar will instruct on the Muslim Faith and Jonathan volunteers his knowledge on Christianity. Don’t expect Lindsay to take the podium as a keynote speaker because she proclaims she’s a “bad Jew.”
Omar’s only getting warmed up. He goes on to inform us he’s a “30-year-old virgin and does not want to be a 40-year-old virgin.” To prevent this occurrence, allow me to give the young(er) man some advice. If you want to lose your virginity—LOSE THE WARDROBE. Hawaiian shirts in the 1980s worked for Magnum PI, but it’s 2022 and you don’t look anything remotely close to Tom Selleck. Of course, should Omar go on to win the $1 million Sole Survivor prize, I presume his dating pool will open up considerably REGARDLESS of what he wears.
Marya shares a tear-jerker about her deceased brother. She’s using her Survivor experience as a healing process. Heal fast Mama...the greatest divide in Reality TV (targeting seniors) could translate into an early exit.
Despite their clash during the premier, Drea announces she’s in an alliance with Rocksroy. Apparently, the BLM movement takes precedent and is still as prominent as ever.
It’s Challenge Time where everyone gets their first look at the new Ika tribe. Maryanne’s immediate reaction had my arm up in the air directing her to the “penalty box” for embellishment. I quickly lowered my arm upon hearing the reason for her reaction. In hopes of finding “Love” on the set of Survivor, she announces Zach(???) was her object of affection. Sadly, that flame has now been extinguished quicker than Jeff snuffed his torch. I reraised my arm and penalized her for Delay of Game instead.
Vati needs to sit someone out. The challenge involves a caller and everyone else blindfolded. During the very first challenge, Clutsy Daniel dislocated his shoulder tripping over his own feet WITH the use of his eyes. The prospect of Daniel having to navigate the course BLINDFOLDED would have probably resulted in a fractured hip, concussion, torn rotator cuff, and ruptured spleen; so appropriately, Creampuff Daniel volunteered for the Sandra Sit-Out Bench.
This challenge resulted in the closest three-way finish I can recall in quite a while. Due to this closeness, I have no MVP to crown nor goat to bash (for challenge performance.) But keeping with the theme of this (Basher) forum, I would be remiss to not point out a rather disturbing image during the challenge.
Whereas, I do not expect every female castaway to possess a body like dietician Lindsay, caller Lydia standing on a high platform showcasing her pasty-white cottage cheese-thigh legs squeezed into a tiny pair of short-shorts that bearly would fit on one of those hermit crabs boiling in a pot was unbearable to watch.
At least “Lady Centaur” Angelina from S37 who had the legs and ass of a horse wore blubber-compressed leggings to compress her unflattering features sparing us any further disturbing images.
If Lydia decides to take one of those mail order Genealogy tests, she may discover she’s related to the Michelin Tire Man.
Back at challenge loser Taku’s camp, it seemed obvious older woman Marya would get the boot at TC. Production, in its infinite wisdom, decided to toss a Hail Mary Red Herring in a feeble attempt to misdirect and make us believe it could be Maryanne possibly getting an early boot?! Production must really think its viewers are as braindead as the vast majority it casts for the show.
Interestingly (yet not surprising to THIS poster) Jeff literally brings up the “Survival of the Fittest” when discussing who to vote out. Supremely-fit Jonathan understandably feels the heat. He makes a valiant effort to downplay his physical prowess by noting brainiacs and social butterflies as equal threats. Nice try, but sorry pull-up boy—it’s only a matter of time before you fall victim to the Anti-Darwin Syndrome.
Also (not surprisingly) the greatest divide on Reality TV comes to the forefront and Marya is the third castaway ousted from S42. Although somewhat surprising, it’s the second unanimous vote in as many TCs.
Next time on Survivor...
During next week’s challenge, Rocksroy’s reactions take a page out of Wussy-Boy Hai’s book. Jeff announces, “he’s never done this on Survivor.” One can only hope it might mean he actually will keep his annoying piehole shut during the challenge. But as we all know we’d have a better chance of Omar losing his virginity to “I have no success at dating” Maryanne than going through a challenge without Jiffy endlessly flapping his trap.
As much as I’m not a fan of showmances, that hookup could present a win/win for both. Since Omar also informed us during the episode he sits when he pees (more information than we really needed to know) as an added bonus for Maryanne, she wouldn’t have to worry about her man keeping the toilet seat up.
Well, that’s my Ep. 2 synopsis. Even though my final comment may not be for the Basher Forum, I most admit I might actually get to LIKE this season!
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