LAST EDITED ON 03-11-19 AT 03:09 PM (EST)Spoilers galore - a spoiler for you, and you. and you, and yes, you over there, you get one too…
The evening breeze sways the palm tree gently, and that’s the reason you find me sleeping. It’s like being rocked in my sweet baby’s arms. But now it’s time for the show, the Buzzard Island Bashers Show brought to you by Buzzard Island Barry, which is Big Moi. Unfortunately, that is the effect that a coconut milk and rum diet has on the waistline, but that’s just more of Big Moi to love, right? Also, my sweet baby gets a great workout rocking big moi to sleep. She gets a ripped upper body, and I get a pant seam splitting middle body.
OK, I know you’re impatient, so here goes;
Check list;
- Antenna poking up - check.
- Super spoilers received from Marvin the head delivery turtle guy - check.
- Switch on - check.
- Warming up the old WWII transmitter - check.
- Feeds all connected - check.
- Super Spoiler Spy Girls en dishabille - Oui oui.
- Final shot of that fine but illegal Jamaican Rum - check.
- Changing previous step to omit the word “final” - check.
It looks like it’s launch time, boys and girls, so let’s get this show on the road. Coincidentally, it’s also lunch time. Loves me some rum.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #1; So, you’d like to know what antics Warthog is up to this week? Hey, it’s enough that he calls himself Warthog, right? Sounds like a Saturday Night Live sketch character, right? Or that movie where a character puts himself out as tough guy “Meurte” but everyone calls him Marti (“Undercover Blues”, funny movie, you should watch it)? Anyway, he’s a joke and a punch line.
(Ah Mon, dat be goot, all dei, ebrey dei, dat rum be de spice of life, mon! - Ed note - don't have a Fiji accent, so I do what I can. Mon).
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #2; So Keith took the left fork Just as Buzzard Island Barry first reported last week (but why was that not shown then? And why did Jeff not show who voted for whom?). The Japanese Prime Minister will be recommending this reporter (Big Moi) for the Pulitzer Prize of the century for this ground-breaking scoop of all the other spoiler outlets. And as usual, you read it here first. Mama Reem now has a reason to live, a new little bambino to kiss and love and squeeze and hug.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #3; The reincarnation of Shambo, i.e. Wendy, decides that she is now a vegetarian and becomes a one woman “Chickens Are People Too” protest committee. She should just swim over to the Ponderosa now and save time, resentment by the others caused by her release of their protein source will overcome their advantage of keeping an all-time great shield goat. And stealing the flint? Someone should check and see if she ever graduated from kindergarten.
In her defense, it should be noted that she is a swap meet vendor, and kleptomania is a vital part of that game.
Observation: One way to introduce divisiveness in a survivor tribe is to reward them with chickens. There’s always a weak-kneed vegan in the bunch. Especially one who could have spoken up when Jeff asked whether they wanted a “comfort” reward or a cage of chickens. Producers are mean.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #4; Kudos to the imagination of the challenge designers for the “Transformers” RC. Although some might have a small criticism for the potential danger of injuries from a device made of heavy timbers that had to be assembled three times and disassembled twice by frantic people without a lick of protective equipment. One might accurately surmise that Fiji is totally lacking any OSHA laws.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #5; Kudos again to Aubrey for her willingness to go on the hunt for an HI. Also for doing it without being suspected of doing it, if we are to believe the editing.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #6; Second week in a row that Jeff doesn’t show the individual votes.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #7; Another nip slip (first this season?). That tiny bikini couldn’t fully contain Lauren’s pride during the RC. Sharp eyed Barry (Big Moi) is nothing if not the king of the nip slip spotters.
Lunch Time Spoiler Launch #8; Chris also takes the left fork. I mean, really, who wouldn’t? Really. And again Mama Reem gets another baby chick to tuck into her nest.
Buzzard Island Basher Barry
Danger zone below when windy
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