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"“Be The Survivor” S38, Ep02: “War. (Uhh!) What Is It Good For?”"
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RollDdice 5881 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-19, 09:19 PM (EST)
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"“Be The Survivor” S38, Ep02: “War. (Uhh!) What Is It Good For?”"

When you’re a returning player, the target on your back seemingly leases space to a second target, making you especially vulnerable (and an unlikely date for Survivor Prom). The newly hatched baby alliances started sizing up the Homecoming pair on each tribe as soon as they learned to build a shelter and turn stick friction into a roaring fire.

Shockingly, the easy-going and not-paranoid-at-all Rheem suffered the first snuff. This sent Rheem to Extinction Island, which has living conditions that land somewhere between The Hunger Games and the parking lot before a typical Megadeth concert. So, basically... two stars on Travelocity.

And despite her plan to be laid back and enjoy her repeat Survivor engagement, it looks like Aubry needs to keep her head on a swivel.




Mark “The Distinction of Extinction” Burnett

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Sideline Commentor michel2 02-28-19 1
 Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzza... kingfish 03-04-19 2
   RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... Aruba 03-04-19 3
       RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... michel2 03-04-19 5
           RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... Aruba 03-05-19 9
               RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... michel2 03-05-19 11
                   RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... Aruba 03-05-19 12
       RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... kingfish 03-05-19 6
   RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... michel2 03-04-19 4
       RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! B... kingfish 03-05-19 7
           Questions, Answers, Answers, Questi... michel2 03-05-19 8
               RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... Aruba 03-05-19 10
                   RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... michel2 03-05-19 13
                       RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... kingfish 03-05-19 14
                       RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... Aruba 03-06-19 15
                           RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... michel2 03-06-19 16
                               RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Qu... Aruba 03-06-19 17

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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02-28-19, 06:40 PM (EST)
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1. "Sideline Commentor"
Yes, returning players have a huge target on their backs yet they almost all make far into the game. Hantz in RI was an exception but that was always thought to be his punishment for spoiling S20. Swan didn't last long in the Philippenes but he wasn't a very smart player. Besides those two exceptions, BJ and Stephenie made to the merger and even F2 for her. Boston Rob won. Ozzie and Coach were part of the finale in Survivor So Pathetic. Penner and that idiot Mike both made it far (Penner to the F3) in their returning seasons and both Fans vs Favorites were won by Favorites.

At one point it became too good (for ratings) to be true (which it should be if it was reality TV).

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kingfish 20520 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-19, 04:54 PM (EST)
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2. "Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
Here we are again, with the latest and by far the greatest spoilers ever unearthed in the civilized world. Or even the uncivilized world. Or even those parts of the world that are considered by the inhabitants to be civilized but which the rest of the world thinks aren’t. I think we can include the inhabitants of the Space Station as well as those in route to and from the Space Station. There. I think that described the situation pretty much Eeeezzzzactly.

Once again, from the heart of the action on Buzzard Island, it is I, Buzzard Island Basher Barry, at the Spoiler Desk of the Buzzard Island Drum Beat, the award-winning publication dedicated to bringing you the latest Survivor Island Scandals. And boy do we have the goods this week. My slippery sleezy sylphy sugar plum clothing optional spy girls have been at it 24/7 digging out the latest nuggets of spoiler truth from the weird and wacky castaways on Extinction and Survivor Islands.

They thought they were on a three-hour pleasure cruise, but as so often happens - at least twice a year - they encountered a storm that blew them onto the shore of an uninhabited isle with no way to contact the mainland. They are marooned. Left to fend for themselves. They have just the clothes on their backs. There are mothers, fathers, professors, teachers, cute chicks, M13 gang members, and the odd goof ball or two. Also, in line with the modern practice of universal acceptance, there are gay people and minorities. And gay minority people. Heck, probably female gay minority people. If any one of them are voted off there will be endless civil discrimination suits and a gay black trans lesbian will end up owning Survivor. There are also four idiots who had taken this cruise before and been marooned, yet they volunteered for another similarly ill-fated cruise. This is the level of ignorance and really abysmally bad decision making people that we are reporting on.

And as fate would have it, the latest squad of sea turtles just made it ashore here on Buzzard Island with the latest news. Ooooooh, it’s bound to be juicy too. Let's just read as few of them.

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#1; One of the reasons my spy girls had an easy time this week was because one of the castaways, a Smothering Mother named Reem, took their clothes away from them to be spread on the beach. The girls prefer going au-natural anyway so they were quite happy to comply. They just walked into the camp, slipped into something more comfortable (which, as mentioned, was nothing), and were immediately accepted. The Spoiler collecting began in earnest. 24/7. All night and day. (Get my drift?)

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#2; Turns out that Reem lasted three days before being booted. And when she went to Sacrifice Island, she turned into a Whiney Weenie Cry Baby Smothering Mother who just could not understand why the others resented her stealing their things and spreading them on the beach, possibly hoping that the high tide would take them. Then, after being booted and spending three more days of solitude, with fire, a rustic shelter, coconuts to eat, and all the seafood she could catch, she bemoans her fate! She’s away from camp chores, constant bickering, adolescent resentments, trivial treachery, backdoor planning, impossibly difficult challenges, draining tribal councils, and she’s whining.

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#3; Why does the NAACP not protest the continued practice of casting black people who can’t swim? Surely there are many fine swimmers who are black. This does not help. Watching Keith swim is like watching a wounded guppy flopping around trying to get somewhere. I’m surprised that he didn’t just go in circles. I’m half surprised that he didn’t just go belly up. Is it not obvious that one should cup one’s hands to aid in swim propulsion? It doesn’t help his cause that he can’t help do obstacle courses with a stuffed Anaconda either, (although who is trained for that?), or ring toss. So far, they haven’t hit on any of Keith’s physical talents. Poor kid, but he has no place in this.

Keith is dogmeat. My advice to him would be to take the right fork.

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#4; There is liberal drone usage for filler shots this season. Turns out drones and drone operators are cheaper than helicopters and helicopter pilots, and that the EPMB is a cheap bastard. So far, I’ve managed to shoot down two with my little .22.

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#5; So everybody is suspicious about others looking for HIs. Some of these people are supposedly familiar with Survivor, yet they are surprised and suspicious when someone goes out to euphemistically “gather firewood and coconuts”? When that’s exactly what they should be doing? When that’s a part of the game that could result in an advantage? I’d say that rather than vote those people out, vote out the people who DON’T look for HIs, they are too brain dead to continue.

Juicy Buzzard Island Spoiler#6; At the second challenge, Jeff announces the new Manu Tribe and that Reem was voted out at the previous TC. Speculation begins immediately as to who or what this Reem was. Or even if it was a person and not a Central Air Unit? A debate begins about why a Central Air Unit would be cast on Survivor this year, and could that have been a new twist or something. Did I mention that Einsteins are few and far between on these beaches?


Buzzard Island Basher Barry
Danger zone below when windy

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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-19, 09:17 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
Spoiler #2 is even more hysterical when Reem announced she wants to “make her family proud.” If her family disowns her, she may consider taking on Keith as her foster child. She’ll be spending enough quality time with him over the next few days.

The NAACP cannot be satisfied with the two casted for this season. Yes, there are two. The second one is named Julia...you may have seen her during the first two episodes. But the NAACP may want to hold off on the protests considering the Sole Survivor from just two seasons ago and how he ultimately emerged victorious. It might be a prudent approach to just let the sleeping dog lie for this season.

Well said Kingfish! Vote out the chickensh!ts who just want to sit on their duffs in hopes of turning Survivor into an MTV Real World on a CBS Tropical Island. Although if that happens, we may lose a dedicated contributor on these Boards.

Yes, Einsteins are far and few between on these beaches. They are even scarcer in the Production room...and pretty much non-existent in Casting.

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-19, 09:27 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-04-19 AT 09:32 PM (EST)

Aruba wrote: "She’ll be spending enough quality time with him over the next few days"

You should put in a spoiler alert when you come up with news like this...

And while I can't speak for Kingfish, I can assure you that I've never watched MTV's reality show.

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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 08:42 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
My post was an “RE: Spoiler Alert!” It is clearly stated in BOLDFACE on the heading. So your silly criticism aside, no need to be repetitious and state it yet AGAIN in my post. Although I do not qualify that as a "Spoiler Alert." To suggest anything other than the obvious of Keith grabbing the torch to open Ep. 3 would be advocating obnoxious embellishment over the easiest decision Keith will have to make this season. And we all know my tolerance level for obnoxious embellishment borders between very little to non-existent.
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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 09:52 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
fter all these years I thought you'd know how much I love to joke. The last episode ended in a rare cliffhanger and Jeff avoided all questions about it in all his press interviews so Keith going to IoE would be a spoiler if you had inside info. I know you don't and just guessing but I was poking fun at your legendary aversion to spoilers.
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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 09:58 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
I wouldn't have the foggiest clue what Jeff says or doesn't say at press interviews. Conventional wisdom and good ole' commonsense came to the forefront when I posted my response to Kingfish's "Spoiler Alerts."
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kingfish 20520 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 12:21 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
As to the NAACP question, and you and Mike have better memories and thus are better equipped to dispute this, but what I remember is that most of black people flounder in the water. There are others too that flounder, but when ever I see a black person on the show, I've come to expect to see swimming failure.

There is a reason for this with US approved legally approved discrimination based on laws that restricted where black people could get financing for housing, which were traditionally in areas that had no access to swimming pools. Thus these kids by and large did not learn to swim. Added to that was the fact that it was legal for a long time to bar black people from pools where white people swam.

Added to all of this was the pressure black people felt when mixing with white people, and especially when black men mixed with white women, which was probably one of the reasons swimming pool segregation was sanctioned.

So while he reasons behind the lack of swimming ability were deplorable, it is explainable and not a criticism of black people, but making it a Survivor meme is just not necessary. Swimming challenges are an integral part of Survivor, but demonstrating an ability to pass a basic swim test should be a casting requirement. For all prospects.

I thought that clip of Reem trying to teach Keith to swim was pitiful. They really painted him as inept generally, which is why, if he takes the left fork, he will need buck up and become another inspirational Aubrey like story. I kinda hope so, just to have a show worth continuing to watch.

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-04-19, 09:25 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
Hello BIBB, I'm wondering if "even those parts of the world that are considered by the inhabitants to be civilized but which the rest of the world thinks aren’t..." include some parts of the Red States?

I have a (maybe) fun quiz for you concenring your spoilers:

#1: Can you name all the girls that went "au naturel" on the show?

#2: Which woman was so whiney that she was voted BACK into the game?!

#3: Can you name the Black guy that was so good at swimming that he was a water-polo player?

#4: Here, I got nothing!

#5: Can you give me an example of a truly brain dead player who found an idol in the very first episode of his season?

#6: Can you name the woman who actually asked who is Mary? when she was told that Mary had been vote dout.

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kingfish 20520 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 12:41 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Buzzard Island Drum Beat Spoilers!!!"
LAST EDITED ON 03-05-19 AT 12:45 PM (EST)

You and Aruba both have demonstrated a superior knowledge of Survivor history than me, which is embarrassing because I've seen every episode of every season except for the first episode of season one, and the entirety of last season. But once a season ends, most of goes into the brain trash basket. High points may remain, but even those eventually go away.


So, that having been disclaimered to death, here goes.

Yes, the obliquely implied reference to current politics was on purpose.

#1. There were two girls who accepted chocolate to remove their bras. Jenna? Heidi? Then there was Parvati on the beach? (I think these memories are clouded by those for whom I have imagined images.)


#2. This is tough. Whiny women (and men) abound and outnumber anyother classification, but I don't know that answer.


#3. No. In fact I remember only one who could swim well, and I don't remember his name. Aruba pointed out a one, though.


#4. Me neither.


#5. Tempted to say Ron (I think that's his name) from this season, but aside from that, I got nothing.

#6. No, don't know. Hilarious. Who was that? The female bozo who started the game in a boy scout uniform? I don't think her name was Mary though.

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 06:10 PM (EST)
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8. "Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
Here are the answers:

1 Yes Jenna and Heidi dropping their bikinis for chocolate was the most famous nude scene. I remember Parvati sunbathing while alone on Exile Island but I'm not sure if she bared all.
The others I had in mind were:

- S6: Shawna who, in very tantalizing scene with Heidi and Jenna, bathed naked away from the older Jaburu women who were older and "didn't have good bodies" according to Heidi.

- S9: Julie, who was going to become Jiffy's girl, sunbathed nude next to Sarge and the other members of the Lopevi Flab 5. It was her way of making friends!

- S16: Amanda, during a challenge, lost her top completely thus giving us the episode title: 'My mom is going to kill me". (OK there were other nip slips over the years, too numerous to count but Amanda's really stood out if you pardon the pun.

- S30: Following Max's lead, Shirin decided to go naked on the beach a sight we all would have prefered not seeing.

There may have been others but those are the ones that come to mind.

#2: Lil in Pearl Islands: When the Outcast had to vote two of their own back into the game, Burton was a lock since he had won the challenge almost by himself. For the second Outcast, the vote was rather undecided and some (Nicole) didn't even want to go back into the game. Realizing they'd have to spend the next 20 days at Ponderosa with whoever wasn't going back into the game, the group voted for Lil to return because she was so whiney they couldn't take her anymore.

#3: Jaison in Samoa. He was even picked by Mick in episode 1 to swim the opening leg for Foa Foa.

#5: Ralph in Redemption Island. You can't get much more brain dead than that guy yet he found an idol right away.


#6 Here is the whole scene written up by Mario Lanza:

http://funny115.com/v2/71.htm

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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 09:03 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
Just saw the quiz now. Good questions.

#1 – I can recall a few others:
S3 – the younger and cuter Kim stripped down to take a sponge bath. Big Tom was “Tommie on the Spot” and “volunteered” to pour water on her nude body while she bathed. I remember this scene because it was immediately followed by a jealous Lex confessional lamenting how Big Tom is able to use his Southern ways to “get away with murder.”
S24 – Kim won a shower at the Survivor Auction and got nude to take the shower. Another female castaway kept yelling at Troyzan to stop peeking.
S33 – Much like the Amanda incident, Michaela’s top came completely off during a challenge as well. But Michaela was not apologizing to anyone...in her words she would do whatever it takes to win.
Like you said, I’m sure there were others.
I remember Shirin dropping her pants, but I thought she kept her top on. If my memory serves me correct, that does not qualify as “au naturel.”

#2 – Lest we not forget, the only reason Lil even had an opportunity to get back into the game is because BOTH tribes sadly got the snot beat out of them during the team competition. If even ONE of the two finished ahead of the Bootees, Lil never has another opportunity...an opportunity that resulted in a 900K blunder and allowed one of your favs to be gifted the million. Were the others put up in the Ponderosa for the remainder of the season? This occurred BEFORE the Jury, so I thought the ones not voted back into the game boarded a plane and headed home. If so, then regardless of how the vote went they were not going to have to live with her for another 20 days.

#3 – I have a better quiz question for this one.
Who was the only black castaway to WIN an Individual Immunity contest that involved all swimming?

#5 – Didn’t watch Redemption Island.

#6 – I thought Kathy’s oblivious recollection of Mary was BEFORE the TC Mary was voted off when the players were deliberating on who should be the Tribe’s first boot. I don’t remember her asking who Mary was AFTER she was voted out...but I’m not completely sure since Skankivor: Micronesia was not one of my favorite seasons.

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 10:05 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
#1: Good ones for Kim in Africa and Michaela in Millenials. Kim in One World though was inside a shower so not really exposing herseolf. If that one counts then we can add Parvati going in the hot tub with Ozzy and Yul or Amanda and Ozzy showering together in Micronesia.
Shirin settled on dropping only her trousers but, at first, went all the way naked.

#2: Players voted out before the merger stay at Ponderosa until the jury forms but then they are all put together on a plane and taken to a resort. They certainly are not allowed back to the states before the season end so yes, the remaining players would have had to spend 20 days more with Lil.

#3: I don't have the time to make a good search so who was it?

#6: Kathy was informed by Joel to vote against Mary and she responded with a who? The one that asked "Who is Mary?" was actually Eliza when Jeff told them that Mary had been voted out at the next challenge. So Eliza was the right answer to my question. But Kathy's a good answer also if I had phrased the question differently.

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kingfish 20520 desperate attention whore postings
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03-05-19, 11:22 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
Oh yeah, I was thinking of Julie sunning on the beach, not Parvati. I mixed the two up.

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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-19, 06:48 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
#1 - I do remember Ozzy and Ho-manda showering nude together in Skankivor: Micronesia. Was the Perv (and Ozzy/Yul) all completely nude in the hot tub? I don't recall if they were, but since we're talking about Perv-ati I wouldn't doubt it.

I still do not remember Shirin all the way naked, but as you said...not a sight that would stick in anyone's mind.


#2 - I never knew the players voted out before Jury starts were detained until the season ended. What's the purpose for that? There's still a lot of time from when the 39 days are up to when the season actually airs presenting plenty opportunity to spill the beans if anyone chooses to do so.


#3 - The answer is JOLANDA from S10-Palau.
The first challenge of the season was an Individual Immunity. When everyone jumped from the boat they had a swimming race to the shore. Immunity Necklaces were awaiting for the first female and first male who swam the fastest. Ian (with his 7-feet wingspan) and Jolanda won individual immunity. For winning they both started the schoolyard pick 'em thus were safe/immune from being the first two castaways to board the boat and leave the game.


#4 - I STILL do not recall the scene with Eliza, but if you remember I believe you.

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michel2 3215 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-19, 09:20 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
LAST EDITED ON 03-06-19 AT 06:50 PM (EST)

#1: All three were naked in the tub. You wouldn't go in a nice hot tub with dirty clothes.

#2: It's been done like that since the beginning. No one comes back and no social media allowed before the end date. The purpose: If the pre-jury comes back before the end date then it would easily be spoiled. Even with that, some seasons have been spoiled anyway. Take S2: When she came back, Mad Dog was asked who she liked and she named 6 people, all players that turned out to be pre-jury so after she was voted out joining 2 of her friends, people figured that Kimmi, Mitchel, Mike and Varner were leaving next.

#3: Right. Good one. The challenge that should have told everyone of Steph's ineptness.

#4: Follow the link I posted in my first answer. You'll have a full rundown of the scene complete with images written by a funny author.

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Aruba 3061 desperate attention whore postings
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03-06-19, 07:41 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Questions, Answers, Answers, Questions"
#1 - Of course you don't go into a hut tub fully clothed, but an overwhelming majority go in with a bathing suit. That was during a Reward if I remember correctly. If one of the females on that Reward was a non-skank and wanted to use the hot tub, I'd have to believe they would have a clean bathing suit for her to wear during the reward if she was uncomfortable plopping in the hot tub stark naked with two other guys.

#2 - It still doesn't make any sense to me. A season could be spoiled much easier AFTER Day 39. There's a good 3 - 6 months from Day 39 until the Premier airs on TV. That's a hellava lot longer than 20 days from perjury to Day 39.

#3 - Stephane made a poor decision to jump out of the boat prematurely, but I would hardly regard her season as "inept" because of that goof on Day One. She was by far the best female competitor that season who had the misfortune to ended up on a tribe without Westman.

#4 - Dingbat Quitter Kathy not knowing Mary was inexcusable. But Mary was the first bootee on the Fan tribe so I won't make a whole lot if anyone from the other returnee tribe (i.e. Eliza, Cirie, Ho-Manda, or Perv-ati) had a tough time remembering who she was.

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