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RollDdice 5866 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-26-18, 11:02 PM (EST) "“Be The Survivor" S37 Ep01: "Appearances Can Rock The Boat”" Welcome to another season of my personal Fort Knox and printing press, Survivor: David vs Goliath vs Me vs Tom Arnold. Tonight we indulge in our usual housekeeping; introducing a lot of people, dividing them into two groups and letting the fur fly. This season I’m giving Jiffy a lot more day-to-day responsibility, including all transportation and boat services. Let’s see how that goes... *fingers crossed* Mark “Not Mark Judge” Burnett   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: “Be The Survivor" S37 Ep01: "Ap... Aruba 09-27-18 1  Come on down, Alex. kingfish 09-28-18 2

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Aruba 3005 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-27-18, 06:57 PM (EST) 1. "RE: “Be The Survivor" S37 Ep01: "Appearances Can Rock The Boat”" Another season; another “Be the Survivor” thread; another authorized task of bashings for the Aruba Commission. The 90-minute Premier provided a chockful of findings/observations: FINDING/OBSERVATION #1 – Apparently Production bypassed modeling agencies and Beauty Pageants to cast for this season and focused on Pie-eating Contests. The Aruba Commission’s first finding of the season: Pat and Natalie placed first in the male and female divisions respectively. FINDING/OBSERVATION #2 – Natalie professed people would “take a bullet for her.” One can understand why she said “people” as in plural. It would take more than one person to form a human shield over that “Goliath” frame. FINDING/OBSERVATION #3 – Natalie also professed “everything she touches turns to gold.” Based on the Premier, she doesn’t touch a heck of a lot. Perhaps that’s why Gold closed today at $1,183 an oz. FINDING/OBSERVATION #4 – Our Goliath professional wrestler has quite a repertoire of stage names he shared with the viewers. The Aruba Commission found one he missed: “JOHNNY JACKASS” FINDING/OBSERVATION #5 – Christian has the early monopoly on confession time. Based on The Fixer-Upper’s prior seasons logic, that means he should accumulate a record number of HIIs. He’ll need them because he boasts about “writing puzzle algorithms” to all the castaways in a game where Production orgasms over “damn, friggin’” puzzles. FINDING/OBSERVATION #6 – The Aruba Commission is still determining where it observed more water...pouring down from the sky, or rolling down the David tribe’s cheeks. Probably the latter when you combine the embellishing emotion of medi-vacing a bossy tribemate only 24 hours prior they wanted to whack and leave his oversized carcass on the island where the local wildlife would have been able to feast on for the next 39 days, and when they were sharing “tear-jerking” personal tragedies. The Commission did not observe any former gymnasts among the female David’s, so at least viewers were spared from listening to THAT “traumatic” childhood “ordeal” again! FINDING/OBSERVATION #7 – Kudos to Dan for finding the first HII of the season. Yet, sharing it with his Menage-a-trois may result in future repercussions. I guess he must have skipped season 35 with Champion Ben’s forefinger over his lips...SHHHHHHHHH! FINDING/OBSERVATION #8 – Our resident big-time film man understands the importance of HIIs and proactive play in the game of Survivor. What Mike did not comprehend is the idiocy of searching in broad daylight while the rest of his tribe is building shelter. Perhaps one of his movie credits is “Dumb and Dumber.” I guess he also skipped season 35 when Champion Ben searched and proactively succeeded in finding his idols while the other were getting their beauty sleep. FINDING/OBSERVATION #9 – Pat boldly tells the viewers to NOT judge a book by its cover. As all book collectors can tell you, the value of the book is based on the condition of the spine...and the Premier’s closing scene concluded Pat’s “book” not even worthy of a rummage sale. FINDING/OBSERVATION #10 – Next time on Survivor...CBS turns to one of the more iconic lines in cinematic history: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.” (Apocalypse Now) For Lt. Kilgore it was the smell of victory; for Natalie it could be the smell of getting her torch snuffed. FINDING/OBSERVATION #11 – The Aruba Commission can only wonder how much time Mr. Fixer-Upper will be able to devote to this forum during the next two weeks. With the premier of the movie “First Man” opening in theatres on Oct. 12th, he’ll be joining his fellow Conspiracy Theorists across the country to protest the showing and to call all the movie-goers “Kool-Aid Drinkers” claiming the lunar landing never happened...it was staged on a designed set and “scripted” much like Reality TV. *snort*   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 20455 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 09-28-18, 03:40 PM (EST) 2. "Come on down, Alex. " LAST EDITED ON 10-01-18 AT 11:18 PM (EST) Thanks to the ineptitude of the Federales, I am still a free man, and I still retain the core of my Special Spy and Extraordinary Rendition experts from an unnamed academy in an undisclosed location. All of them are women. As it turns out women are especially quipped and have the necessary talents and skills required for the parts that they play (basically, that means that they don’t think with their wangs - although they do have a pleasant substitute), which consist of gathering Spoilers for me to reveal to you every week. In addition to Special Covert Operational Services, they are able to maintain cover as Moped and Vespa chopper mechanics, and occasionally form in packs to go on beer fueled rampages as taunters of bicycle riders, pedestrians and haughty old people. They do these things between when not performing their duties to me, their leader and legendary hero. Ok Ok, they don’t actually phrase it like that, they say things like gofer, checkout bag boy, and cabana pool boy, but we all know what they mean, right? All-time greatest leader and hero extraordinaire, right? Right! Well, now that that’s settled, and while we layout the architecture for the Spoiler’s Hall of Fame on Mount Rushmore for me, here are this week’s spoilers. Although they are undoubtedly the best, newest, and most insightful spoilers that you’ve ever seen, I’m going to admit that I’m a little fuzzy on just who these characters are because I haven’t seen the show yet. But I have it on the ultimate authority that these are the facts, ma’am, just the facts. All Time Greatest Spoiler #1: Jeff Probst talks too much during challenges, and this season his yapper won’t slow down a bit. All Time Greatest Spoiler #2: Rumors that Julie Chenbot will take over midway thru the season are true, and Jeff will become a bobblehead Hidden Idol with magical powers to grant the hottest hottie her dream date. With him. And by dream date, that would be a dream date for him. With sex involved (did you get that?). There will be disclaimers and NDA paperwork. All Time Greatest Spoiler #3: Next season Alex Trabek will take over while Jeff defends his sexual harassment charges in the Supreme Fiji Court. It seems that the NDA’s his uncertified Samoan lawyer wrote up for him weren’t all that binding. All Time Greatest Spoiler #4: This season there will be a new twist, a monkey feces throwing challenge. Not going to go into too much detail there, but the monkeys do have a lot of fun. And so do we. All Time Greatest Spoiler #5: Also there will be multiple double elimination TCs. The sinking sands of Fiji prove very to be very useful here. As will be the virgin (a not strictly enforced requirement) volcano sacrificing ceremonies of the local population. All Time Greatest Spoiler #6: It will be announced before the end of this season that the competition next season will be three tribes, each made up of triplets. Actually I’m just introducing this idea, I think it would be cool to have identical triplets competing against each other, and to see how twisted Jeff would get as he tries to sort them out during challenges. Just an idea. Ace McMurfy From the Really Mean Street Gang (RMSG), and the McMurfy branch of the McMurphy clan! We never lernt to spele to good.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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