LAST EDITED ON 11-03-16 AT 04:35 PM (EST)Hallo again from my coconut nest spoiler station. It is I, the mysterious mustachioed man, Detective Pornstache, on the tail trail of the deepest kept secrets in the forest.
Another sunny day brings out the best in my attitude and that of my merry band of sleuths, and they brought out the best spoilers to date. Not that they are allowed to date exclusively, one of the first things they learn are the benefits of free love, and the confining prison like conditions of exclusivity.
But the blue birds are singing, the Macaws are squawking, the Monkeys are howling, and the Toucans are twerking. Life is good for me and a certain gaggle of sly sweeties that gather the information that keeps this place running, the Really Really Really Raunchy Girls from the RRR Femilishiousness Finishing School for Bouncing Boobies and Bundlesome beauties.
Warning, Spoiler #1 - The Toucan Says... Michaela is booted. She lost me and the rest of the world when she said " Sometimes you say you're supposed to say, not what's in your head." after being quizzed by Probst. The conversation was a bit longer than that, but what it added up to was they thought that she was the Riddler, or maybe Mrs. E. Nigma, and in the best Batman tradition they had to rid Gotham of her. Wham! Pow!
Warning, Spoiler #2 - The Toucan Says... Jay thinks Bret is too funny and lively to be a funeral director. As weird as that observation is, it is also kinda perceptive. Would be interested to hear what he thinks about Taylor. Maybe that he's too dumb and boneheaded to live, that he's really a dead person?
Side Note: It says something about something if two castaways who have lived in Boston can meet a man on an island ten thousand miles away who is claiming to be a funeral director, and figure out that he's really a Boston cop. Are they used to a culture in which Boston Cops figure in a significant way and they have become especially sensitive? Or are Boston Cops so stereotyped that they can't help but give themselves away to anyone who has lived in Boston?
Warning, Spoiler #3 - The Toucan Says... Dave pulls Zeke aside and shows him his thing, and begs I'm to not tell anyone that he has one. Zeke is just a little too happy to see Dave's thing, and declares that they are cut from the same cloth.
Warning, Spoiler #4 - The Toucan Says... The biggest non-spoiler of the season comes when Millennial Taylor declares that he doesn't like to talk about politics.
Warning, Spoiler #5 - The Toucan Says... It's a sad day at the Bamboo hut, Michaela is voted off the island. Sad for those that voted for her, because their body parts have begun washing up on shore, and sad for me too, because no more tatas.
Organic sugar free, glucose free, no lives were harmed sigs by Tribe. (Rocks)
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