LAST EDITED ON 05-05-14 AT 12:20 PM (EST)
Hello, 'tis Sam the Spoiler man again, here to rock your world.
My latest attempt to infiltrate the Survivor Island tribe failed, so in the future I will leave that sort of thing to the experts, the Really Really Raunchy Girl graduates of the RRR Girls finishing school. They hear all, see all, and most importantly, boink all.
Anyway, I thought that just for fun I'd try to do a little of my own sleuthing. You know, build a few spy shacks, plant a few untruths, throw some rice in the fire, and reach into my bag of tricks to get the latest spoilers for the faithful reader(s?) of this rag. It's been a while since I was in the field, and I just thought that it would be fun and that I could use a little practice.
So I wandered up, high fived the guys, hugged the women, and avoided eye contact with the humanoid/reptile Trish. Then I casually peed in the camp drinking water (hey, there wasn’t a sign! And, well, there may have been a little overspray into the rice. Sorreee.) and at the next TC I was voted off the island as well as off the planet. Which, although I did have to take the walk of shame, they didn't have a contract with NASA so I got to stay on earth.
Last count was 402 votes to evict. Evidently the production crew also got votes. And the island residents. And the cannibals from last season. It was sad for me but not for you, because I did get the juiciest spoilers, as usual, and this time all I had to do was smuggle them thru an ICE checkpoint. They are sorta redolent, but it’s just a natural organic lower bowel odor, PETA approved, and let’s not get too prissy about that, OK?
Here we go:
Organic Spoiler #1: The species ambiguous Trish, who claims to be in civilian life a Pilates instructor, and who disappears when viewed sideways, points out that Spencer is too skinny. Obviously there are no island mirrors, because they could fit about 5 Trishes into one Spencer. Who is lighter than Janu?
Organic Spoiler #2: Significant heavy handed quote of the week;
Jeff, to Tasha when requesting that she return the Individual Immunity Necklace and noting her reluctance to do so, says “Just win it again”. Naturally, in the unscripted purely coincidental world of Survivor, this will mean that she will indeed win again.
Organic Spoiler #3: Also, there was a more significant production/editing hint as to the identity of the eventual winner: Spencer draws the white rock during the auction tiebreaker to determine who gets to buy the “Advantage” meal. Or prize. He loses the tiebreaker, but with the “white rock” the EPMB and his minions are slyly hitting us over head with a coconut that Spencer will be the eventual winner.
You heard it here first.
It is worth noting that the PC conscious producers determined that whoever drew the "Black" rock would be the winner, not the "White" rock. Smart. The EPMB doesn't want the NBA to make him sell his show.
Organic Spoiler #4: The island HI factory is at full production capacity. All Idols are stamped “Property of Tony, who will win if I have to fly down there myself and shoot somebody, EPMB”.
Organic Spoiler #5: Speaking of Tony, in real life, with him on the streets, with his mind working all the time, with his bag of tricks, and with him digging in all the gutters for clues, how could a criminal possibly get away with anything in New Jersey? Suck it, T.
Organic Spoiler #6: Apparently there is a such a thing as frog insurance.
Tribe strikes again
(Thank you thanks you all for your continuous and very generous support)