LAST EDITED ON 03-19-14 AT 05:17 PM (EST)
With Brice Butterfly gone, the remaining Beauties have to get by on Dinosaur Eggs Benedict. J'Tia nukes any Brains chance of winning a Challenge that doesn't involve a No. 2 pencil, and Tony Brawn continues to treat Sarah like a snitch on the cold streets of Aparri Beach.
But we're young... let's pound on it.
Jeremiah Is A Bullfrog (And not a good friend of mine) -- Following their first visit to the Tribal Council family counseling center and gift shop, Morgan finds herself on the bottom-- and not in a good way. She rallies from being "emotionally paralyzed" enough to call Jeremiah on the sandy carpet, and accuses him of being a chicken livered coward who jumped ship. Basically, poultry in motion with a nautical theme. In the Season of Group Therapy, Morgan doesn't even have the decency to bad mouth him behind his back; she asks Jeremiah why he voted out Brice in front of the entire tribe. Of course Jeremiah goes with Survivor justification Greatest Hits: Brice was a social threat, a snappy dresser and the inventor of Brice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat.
RC-Blind Man's Oof -- The Losin' Brains tribe receives their Reward Challenge clue from poetry corner and deduce that they will be blindfolded.
Despite her track record as a hotheaded rice burner, J'Tia often has sage advice for others. She urges Spencer to "start visualizing now". Snap zoom to the Reward Challenge where Jiffy explains the Blind Man's Buff course and shows off his rooster and hens. Winner gets the birds with second place earning a dozen eggs and third place garnering a goose egg... nothing. Tasha is calling for the Brains, while Alexis and Cliff have the duties for the Beauties and My Little Brawnies.
Well, you can't make a Reward Challenge without breaking a few eggs and we witness a medley of painful collisions between obstacles and crotches while Stevie Wonder sings "Agony and Ovaries" gently in the background.
It's a close one between Brains and Beauty and it looks like Tasha may stroke out while she yells at her blindfolded team. It appears that Brains has a lock on second place, but when the tribe flag falls off the lifting platform, J'Tia fails her course requirements for Spatial Studies. Apparently, she's going to take an extra semester to figure out how a stick with a piece of cloth attached to it might fit on a rectangular platform. J'Tia's panic allows Tony and Lindsey from Brawn to muscle their way into second place.
What Came First, The Public School Education Or The Kardashians? -- Back at the Beautiful Sheeple's camp, Jeremiah reaches into the feed bag but isn't Doug Henning enough to conceal the clue to the HII hidden inside and pulls it out while saying, "Oh, a note." Given that this is the Beauty tribe, the "clue" is more of a step-by-step illustrated guide to finding the Idol. Fortunately, LJ already has the HII and the clue doesn't lead to his pocket.
It seems that despite being Ovo-Americans themselves, Alexis, Jefra and Morgan have no idea how roosters and hens meet through Hatch.com and create offspring-slash-hatchlings-slash-Denny's breakfast. LJ is confessionalizing that he's in a stereotypical Beauty tribe and sounds both understanding and wise until he announces that the Egg came first. His reasoning is that dinosaurs had eggs and dinosaurs pre-date chickens. Seconds later, CBS receives nearly three million tweets at #Survivor #SterilizeContestantsNow.
After tucking into the chicken dinner, Morgan confesses that she doesn't care for Jeremiah, saying that he's "as dumb as rocks and a big fat liar. I don't understand why he's on this tribe-- he's not that beautiful and we're supposed to be a beautiful tribe." That's the ex-NFL cheerleader competitiveness leaping to the surface. You have to steal the other girl's chicken cutlets if you want to keep shaking your pom pons.
Meanwhile at Brawny Town, Sarah and WooChild have a meaningful discussion about Cliff having a balanced investment portfolio and not needing any money nor the sense of accomplishment that would come from winning Survivor. Woo declares to Sarah, "We're young. It's our time to shine. Let's pound on it." Rather than signaling a jungle sex party, this seems to indicate that WooChild has aligned himself with Sarah. But if Sarah is the foot soldier, the fungus on that paranoid foot's little toe is Tony. Tony and his tribal tattoo confess, "I'm here to lie, cheat and steal. I'm here to drag people's dreams through the mud so mine can come true." (Also available in a needlepoint pillow design at survivor.com)
Fast Break IC --Brawn receives tree mail announcing the Immunity Challenge, which will have a "anybody here know how to play basketball?" theme. Before the Challenge, Sarah shops a Throw The Challenge strategy to Woo and Trish in the hopes of voting Cliff out before any merge.
The Immunity Challenge involves diving down to retrieve five buoys, all tied at different depths. Once retrieved, someone (*snort* Cliff) will shoot the buoys into a basket. First two tribes to sink all five win. Losing team goes home with Dick Vitale.
As with most basketball games, it all happens in the last two minutes. J'Tia can't swim, dive or breathe in a coordinated manner. Parts of the Brawn tribe are trying to throw the Challenge, and the some members of the Beauty tribe think this just might be a swimsuit photo shoot. Despite that, the Beauty tribe dominates the Challenge with Jeremiah scoring all five buckets before the other two tribes have all of their buoys back. When it's all said and done, J'Tia's incompetence is too much for even the Brawn tribe to overcome and Cliff finally sinks all five shots, forcing the Brains tribe to Tribal Council. In the confessional words of Sarah, "Dude, we tried so hard to blow that Challenge. That team sucks."
"Please Don't Break Up With Me --" If Spencer had Occam's Razor, he'd probably have to walk across it. The simplest answer in this case is that he's a physical asset to his tribe, but he has to offer J'Tia up for the vote. On the minus side of J'Tia's résumé, she's bossy, she destroys her tribe's food, she is a physical liability at challenges and she doesn't play well with others. On the plus side... hmm, can I make a few calls and get back to you later?
But as the women talk, J'Tia makes a case for her loyalty. Tasha is swinging like a pendulum, while Cass just wants to make a decision and move forward.
Shrugs, Not Hugs -- When Jiffy greets you with a big shrug and a sigh... it's not good. While Probst drills into J'Tia's failings, Spenser tries to bolster his own position by talking up his strength in challenges and his loyalty. Tango and Cash crosstalk, but ultimately it's J'Tia that takes the long walk to the Ponderosa... and gets lost.
Mark "Duck. Duck. Goose me." Burnett