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"Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?""
RollDdice 5676 desperate attention whore postings
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11-13-13, 10:53 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?"" |
We have a classic double elimination and possible difficult dietary elimination as Jiffy shakes up local Filipino delicacies in a lovely Survivor Food Challenge.Tyson is HII on life and Monica chokes down the paranoia, but it's Vytas who's left with a bad taste in his mouth.
Mark "Fire Up The Blender!" Burnett
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kingfish 16454 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-13, 12:53 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?"" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-14-13 AT 05:39 PM (EST)
Hello, it is I, Spoiling Sam and my band of misfit nymphs also known as the "Girls from Raunch". We're here to entertain you, to maintain you, and ultimately to arraign you.
It’s been a busy week for the legal department here at the Really Really Raunchy Girls school for saucy Babes and Vespa Mechanics. It was recently brought to my attention that there is a Spoiler Forum at RTVW that we have been excluded from, and whose posters are the reason my posts are in the Bashers forum. This column belongs in Spoilers!!! Completely outrageous considering that we have for a number of years now been the most dependable scoop source of prime Survivor spoilers. We’ve received awards (from ourselves) every year, and have swept the Raunch Oscars in every category every year. And they post us in Bashers. Hummph. Bitches. They call themselves Spoilers? Huh! They ought to call themselves “Guessers”. Or a “Flippers of Coins”, Or “Pretending to be Spoilers”. They ain’t Spoilers. They ain’t got nothing on us. And why? Because they aren’t willing to get down and dirty and they don’t have big breasted reporters who prefer interviewing in the nude. You’d be surprised how that loosens tongues. Which brings up another strategy which modesty prevents me from revealing here (I do have videos for sale, however, check out my web site). So we’ve sicced our legal eagles (who also happen to be graduates of the Really Really Raunchy Girls Law school) on to the bitches at RTVW. Our legal meetings start with coffee and sugar tarts, and end up with Sugar’s tart end up (not quite a palindrome, but Sugar doesn't mind). But that’s just one strategy, our girls get what they are going after every time, and this time they are going for the jugular. Or maybe a bit lower. Anyhow… We understand, however, that my and my girls' duty is to you dear reader, and we won't let legal distractions keep us from our duties. They do know what their primary job here is (which, well, you might guess what that is, heh heh) or their secondary job (hoorahing defenseless villagers) or their tertiary job (maintaining their Chopped Vespas), or their fortherary job which is getting you the latest and greatest in the way of Survivor spoilers. So on with that: Spoiler #1: Tyson (a two time loser) logic: Lecture Tina (a previous Survivor winner) in strategy, and tell her that if everyone used her strategy, that he would beat them 100% of the time. Tyson has used similar logic(?) in the past. Tina logic: As a member of the minority tribe, to deliberately antagonize members of the superior tribe. Also, it apparently seemed smart to her to tell Katie, her daughter, to throw her under the bus if she wanted to (which she immediately proceeds to do. Tina’s not to bright either). We’ll get into similar logic by Laura M. next week. Neither of these moms realize what vengeful feelings rebellious daughters raised under the rule of tyrannical mothers may be harboring. A lesson for all you mothers out there, do not give your daughter, your seemingly loving daughter, the child you bounced on your knee and suckled at your breast, the chance to ascend the (figurative) slope toward a million dollars by crawling over your (not figurative) dead and decaying corpse. They will have no remorse in doing so, in fact they will murder their brothers and sisters and kick the family dog aside for the chance. That’s just how they roll. Spoiler #2: Mystery of the week. “Who keeps writing Tyson’s name down?” Was it Katie in a passive attempt to have her mom voted out but not wanting to actually cast a vote for her to go, presumably aware that sooner or later her vote would be broadcast to millions of viewers? Spoiler #3: Approximately 24 hours after the dream teamers practice the gross food challenge by eating grubs, butterflies erupt from their bellies. The Surviving Survivor’s stomachs are promptly pumped, because, while dream teamers are expendable, it wouldn’t look good on primetime TV. And Jiffy doesn’t want to be seen throwing up all over his nice new blue fishing shirt (he has a delicate stomach). 
shhhhh! I stole this from Tribe and I ain't gonna give it back.
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suzzee 5109 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-13, 02:47 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?"" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-14-13 AT 02:48 PM (EST)Go Tyson. I'm gonna get me a slice of that million dollars.
Wait, I think I'm wearing Tyson's shirt. Spoiler#1: Mothers should realize that the coconut doesn't fall far from the tree. Spoiler#2: I was wondering the same thing. Verrrrry interesting. Spoiler#3: We've seen Jiffy's delicate stomach, on prime time no less. What a DAW.
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suzzee 5109 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-13, 02:43 PM (EST)
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3. "Welcome to the Brothers Grim" |
Aras, try making an alliance with Tina. Oh no, wait, she actually thought you meant it the first time. bwahaha
I'm Poopert's Paradise!
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kingfish 16454 desperate attention whore postings
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11-18-13, 10:02 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?"" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-18-13 AT 12:05 PM (EST)I just received a message from one of my spies in a sealed clam shell. It is a transcript from an upcoming challenge. It is in game show format and, well, here it is.
Spoiler:
Probst: "Hello survivors, welcome to this week's challenge for Immunity. This is my favorite challenge of the season. Please hand over last week’s necklace, Katie. Ok, you should know that clutching it to your chest and curling up into a ball won’t work. Security, it’s a code red IN alert, retrieve the necklace from Survivor code named “Katie”, it seems she is reluctant to give it up. There, that's better, you wouldn't think we could get a Taser here on this remote island, would you." "Ok, folks, while Katie is finishing up with her final twitches, I'll lay out the rules." "- 1. Each of you will be asked a question and your answer will be judged by me. So it would be in your best interest to tell me what I want to hear. Understand? Any questions? Katie, are you going to back talk me again? Oh yeah? Security, another Taser zap needed ASAP.". “ - 2. There is only one rule." "OK. Here we go. " Probst: "Monica, where was the most uncomfortable place you and Brad made love?" Monica: "It was in the back seat of a old Volkswagen bug, Jeff." Probst: "Sorry Monica, the answer we were looking for was Uranus. Please sit down (if you can), you are out of this challenge." Probst: "Tyson, are you a natural SOB, or are you a self-made man?" Tyson: "Well, Jeff I practice the SOB thing every day, so I guess you could say the latter." Probst:"Well done, Tyson, it was a trick question to see if you could admit to being a SOB. Well done, you go on to the next round." Probst:"Cienna, do you think your Mom would be proud of you if she ever learned that you were campaigning to get her voted out? And why do you hate your Mom so much?" Cienna:"Well, Jeff you could just ask her, she's standing right there. But before you get into that other stuff, just know that I have serious daddy issues, and am feeling very vulnerable right now, not to mention in heat for your loins." Probst: "Very good answer, you do know your Survivor Island strategy. Good girl, or should I say good little bad girl (leerish wink)? You go on to the gold round, which will be held in my tent tomorrow. Tonight I have a "counseling" session scheduled on RI. A four way, IYKWIM". Unfortunately, the transcript ends here, the rest of it is missing. If anyone finds more of it, please post it. Hopefully the clamshell transcription/encryption specialist will have more work to do soon.
shhhhh! I stole this from Tribe and I ain't gonna give it back.
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kingfish 16454 desperate attention whore postings
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11-19-13, 10:01 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Survivor S27 Ep09: "Brother, Can You Spare A Blindside?"" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-19-13 AT 10:02 AM (EST)Spoiler: From andother portion of the transcript recovered by my sexy little spies. Probst: "Laura. How do you feel about Cienna's plan to stab you in the back, roll a bus over you and throw you off a cliff?" Laura: “When I think of that beautiful child that I brought into this life, whose life I sustained with my own breast milk, all those nights when I relieved her discomfort at the expense of my own, the sacrifices I’ve made to make sure she was dressed like the cool kids while I had to stay home because my own clothes were threadbare, and the incredible expenses of orthodontic care, vision care, new cars, and college, proms, hiring dates for her, why I realize that I should have drowned her in the toilet and tossed her little body out with the trash on day 1." "Is that what you mean, Jeff?" Probst:"I'm guessing that you don't want to give her a hug right now. But yes you go to the next round. We were looking for honesty and possible bloodshed in the next round, and we like you for that.”
shhhhh! I stole this from Tribe and I ain't gonna give it back.
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