kircon! Hope I didn't step on anyone's toes by doing an summary, if I did, sorry but please post it anyway it's therapeutic for all.
Welcome to Blows Survivor Basher Summary brought to you by Stealth-R-Not-Us-Anymore:
I thought I’d pull the trigger and get the ball rolling. So all you Stealth-R-Us wannabeez, sit down, grab that whiskey and relax (it won’t hurt a bit) while I present (drumroll & rimshot) :
The most hyped episode in recent memory and nearly the single most completely self-spoiled cliffhanger produce by Burnett to date! Booyah! This episode was spoiled by the powers that be to the point the local spoilers went on unemployment for the week. Even rookie speculators like me managed to get most of things figured out and maybe I can get my Stealth-R Us Secret Decoder Ring aka as the SDR. Hopefully y’all will be back on the payroll right soon spoilers & spolierettes.
Previously on Survivor Jiffy tells us that Stealth-R-Us isn’t as well-lubed as the local Chippendale Strippers and Phillip is wearing on the patience of the patients interred on Stealth R Island. Revelation after revelation drowns us in shocking leaks as we discover New Dawn has lost her mind, and Andrea has been trying to get in the shorts of the Enemy Broliance. Brenda, the dive school diva wins a hold your breath contest. Wait, just an observation here, but she had the thinnest face of all of them and could poke her nose between those bars and up higher than anyone of the other chipmunks, so it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips IMO.
Malcolm out thought Reynold (not so hard bro) and got the Idol at TC and was safe from nothing, buh bye Michael.
Cochran and Phillip discuss the fact that Lisa Dawn would make a great goat to take to F3 following the BRob “You too can make a Million” plan when suddenly Dawn of the Dead screams like a mother of 10 finding out the stick turned pink.
Monkeys are startled out of the trees and goats faint everywhere. Oh noes! While trying to drink the swamp she gets hit by an invisible monster and shoots her falsies out into the water. TOOT! Brenda, Dive master and therapist runs to the swamp to find out what the frak is going on. She finds a raving lunatic and asks where Dawn is. No really, Dawn, choking out the tale in her best snuffling 4 year old voice explains the drama while simultaneously quitting, covering her mouth and swearing like a sailor (I made that up, sorry, the swearing part, no mother of 10 would ever swear. Right.). After that she says she doesn’t want anyone to know. (Well Dawn, maybe you shouldn’t have SCREAMED like that, you think?)
Brenda takes a couple of minutes and finds the falsies floating right next to the dock and all is well. Dawn reloads her choppers and the sun will shine again.Yay. Then Brenda says they’re bros forever while Dawn stands there crossing her fingers and saying you and me to the end.
Face the Mud and Find Your Ricey Balls Reward
Malcolm remembers how to win this one (it wasn’t long ago for him) and goes for all the Ricey Balls. Too bad Reynold is a quick study and is much better at finding the Ricey Ball Bags. Malcolm fails and the rest follow along. Funny that Jiffy only blasts Sherri for being slow on the course. Nobody better mess with Jiffy’s Favorites honey. Not even the Sandra Bullock look alike. Purple gets so far ahead that Jiffy doesn’t even mention Malcolm or Sherri again. Ever. Purple wins and is off for a nosh at a five star resort.
At the Gilligan Island Resort and Monkey Mating Compound, Erik comments on the clueless and apparently filthy Fillup fouling the pool. Nice stain dude, I hope someone notified the EPA about that toxic spill. Everyone loses their appetite and a naked Fillup had the pool to himself the rest of the day. Gag me.
Night 26 and Day 27 at Adam Had’em:
Dawn of the Dead can’t sleep without letting the paranoia monster loose to run roughshod over her emo self. Cochran thinks she’s insane and once again he speaks for us all. Andrea goes to Fillup for a mental status update on Dawn and Dawn shows up for her appointment with Dr. Cochran for her psych eval. Dawn tells the Dr. (5 cents please) that she thinks she’s going crazy. Good Dawn, the first step to being cured is to admit you’re crazy as a soup sandwich. Dr. C tries to move all the sharp objects out of her reach and diagnoses her as Hummingbird Crazy. We concur Dr. Cochran, off with her head. Dr. Cochran prescribes a lobotomy and it works! She’s all rested and back to her New Dawn self.
Immunity Challenge and Fillup takes a vacay!
You know, jump in, grab a rope, swim grab a ring, rinse & repeat. Fillup says no way am I doing that, when I was a child my mother tried to hold me under a raft……
Anyway Reynold wins throwing a huge monkey wrench in the Stealthy Majority’s plot to vote him out so they say Malcolm is the next to go. We’ll split the votes like Dawn’s personality that’s foolproof. The” Top Secret Never Fail Plan” is in place. Jiffy declares everyone gave everything they had including Fillup who apparently had nothing.
The Broliance wins the Sprint Player of the Week contest. Booyah!
The Hunt
Hey everyone lets go look for the 26th HII. They all head over to the neon highway sized “The Idol is here-->" sign and Malcolm find’s it while reading Fillup’s book “The Spy who Loathed Me” in his spare time. Eddie’s going home says Eddie, bummer, hey Andrea how about a little smoochie for the soldier going off to war? Andrea?
Babble Council
Go watch it, I couldn’t possibly do it justice. Suffice it to say Idols were going cheap. Malcolm was wearing HII’s like he got them at a Mardi Gras parade and passed one to his bro Eddie while Stealth R OMG goes all Dawn and stuff.
Jiffy says spell Phillip “Two L’s and two P’s on either end” and the Three Amigos take notes. Only Erik loses his cheat sheet and tries to sound it out. Fillup he says, Jiffy says close enough and The Spazilist goes to terrorize Michael.
Amen.
Thanks everyone for spending a bit of time with me and good night.
Thanks sweetie! You brite up my world 
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