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"S26 Gufu Award Thread"
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Gray Squirrel 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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02-14-13, 10:07 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Week 1" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-14-13 AT 10:58 PM (EST)Contestant Gufu: Reynold - Don’t come to Survivor looking for a girlfriend (Allie). It’s like going to PETA looking for a steak. Your problem seems to be that you still dont' realize that God gave men a penis & a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. Contestant Gufu: Francesca - You Rock! (and how did that rock taste by the way?). Or maybe I should say you go girl! (and Boy or boy did you go). You now hold the very distinctive record as the only person to be voted off Survivor 1st in your only two appearances. Contestant Gufu: Shamar & Matt - Come on Guys, it's no use getting your undies in a wad over what should come 1st (Shelter or Fire). Their are enough people wandering around (making premature alliances) that could be deligated to help you do both. Contestant Gufu: Cochran - How in the heck did you manage to get that sunburned in one day? Production Gufu: Casting of the Favorites - This is the best you could do? This could be the most disfunctional group of people I have ever seen in a Survivor season EVER. (Hantz, Cochran, Phillip, Francesca, etc.).
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-15-13, 08:56 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Week 1" |
Yeah, Reynold and Eddie both. Hope they enjoyed their island romances, all they succeeded in doing is painting some targets on their alliance.
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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02-15-13, 02:23 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Week 1" |
Contestants: There weren't any shown.Production: Enough of the goofy animals. What the heck was that weird looking big eyed surprised looking thing. Oh, that was Phillip.
 Bite Me 
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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02-15-13, 04:34 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: S26 Gufu Award Thread" |
Argfa...Francesca: For opening your mouth and inserting both feet, your entire closet of shoes, and the Statue of Liberty's foot. For promising to eat a rock. For making Phillip look normal. For doing the same thing that got you voted out last time. For trying out for Survivor in the first place. Enjoy the rock, dumbdumb. Here's some salt and pepper. Phillip: Way to act like a paranoid whack job. You don't have it in you to be the Robfather. Also, were the pink underwear necessary? Shamar: Build fire and get water if you're dehydrated. Don't just sit there and look dumb.
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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02-21-13, 10:17 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Week 2" |
Let's see...nomnomnomnomnomnom...Reynold: Your favorite Survivor must have been Lil Hantz. Before TC: "I'm not going to go back to camp with a big grin on my face as if I found the idol." At TC: "There was a bulge in Reynold' pants." In response: "I have the hidden immunity idol. See? Here it is. And I'm not going to use it because I'm so sure we're voting off Shamar. Because I'm effing clueless. Please use Plan Misdirect on me and act like you're going to vote off one person in my alliance and blindside another. Preferably me, because I'm far too stupid to continue." Shamar: Painting a target on your back this early on is bad. Doing so for a crappy reason is worse. And continuing it next week? Just hail the Quit Boat and get it over with. Phillip: Being arrogant and overbearing has sunk better Survivors than you. Brandon: Please hail the Quit Boat and see a psychologist before you start a fire and destroy the entire South Pacific.
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-21-13, 04:16 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Week 2" |
Contestant Gufu: Laura (if I have the name right) Why call out the HII at TC? Why not wait till you're back in camp and use your knowledge to your advantage? Confront Reynolds and tell him you know he has it. See where that can take you.
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Gray Squirrel 12 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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02-24-13, 04:09 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Week 2" |
Contestent Gufu: Reynold - If your pants were so tight that they exposed the Hidden Immunity Idol, why didn't you put it in your 'Gucci Survivor Bag' that you brought to Tribal Council?Contestant Gufu: 'Shamu' - Stop laying around like a beached 'Shamar'. Contestant Gufu: Phillip (aka.'Special Agent Pink Panther') - Did you really have to give your 'Stealth-R-Us Inc.' squad nicknames? And you think by doing this it makes them feel more special or more loyal to you? If you really want loyal followers, do what the real 'Boston Rob' would do. Go out & find an 'Amber' or some fool walking around in pink 'tidy whities' who will follow you blindly. Production Gufu: Please, please, give Phillip a swim suit & burn those 'pink penis covers' that he is wearing now. Remember, small children are watching & you don't want to be fending off Law Suits when they start going blind.
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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02-28-13, 10:27 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Week 3" |
Cable gufu: My DVR had a "conflict" for some reason that doesn't make sense, and Survivor didn't record. Compound that with a wife gufu for not letting me switch to a service that lets me record more than two shows at once.
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-07-13, 01:54 AM (EST)
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12. "Week 4" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-07-13 AT 01:55 AM (EST)Contestant Gufu: Laura. Smart player who obviously knew her own limitations, small enough to jump in the box and toss the sandbags up to Reynold which would have made up a bit for her fumbling the keys a bit. But she didn't. Contestant Gufu: Shamar. Let's just say I hope he gets some psychotherapy while in the hospital. Contestant Gufu: Phillip. Oh give me a break, every Bikal (except Frownczchjekka of course) gets a secret identity??? That actually would have been smart except he made it clear to all that everyone is now Stealth. Production Gufu. Enough with the sandbags, bring out the puzzles already!
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-14-13, 00:45 AM (EST)
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14. "Week 5" |
Contestant Gufu: Andrea. Not that it much matters what you say to Brandon, the voices in his head will believe what they want to believe; but seriously, telling him the truth in that situation was just fanning the flames, and after he'd told you all what he was capable of doing.Contestant Gufu: Phillip. Not that it much matter what you say to Brandon, but the condescending Napoleon Complex also fanned the flames. Contestants Gufu: Fans. They've had awhile to figure out the game now, and they still can't put together a smart division of labor in challenges. Contestant Gufu: Brandon. Just cos.
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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03-14-13, 02:58 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Week 5" |
Contestant: Brandon for being such a fvckwad that his tribe didn't even COMPETE. That is...beyond unprecedented.Contestant II: Even acknowledging Brandon after he poured out the rice and beans - or threatened to. Production: Casting of Brandon. Production II: Whoever let Brandon off his meds. Reproduction: Brandon's parents giving birth to Brandon. Reproduction II: Brandon's grandparents giving birth to Brandon's father and uncles. Seriously. I'd erase Russell from seasons 19 and 20 if it meant we got rid of his pinhead nephew and brother(s). And I include Brandon's father. (Yes, I know two winning tribes went to TC by choice - Fiji and One World had them - but at least they TRIED and then later changed their mind due to a desire to keep their camp or being complete morons. This? Not even competing? Absolutely atrocious.) Also, I wouldn't even have acknowledged Brandon's presence after that. Clearly the two written, unbreakable, cardinal rules are: Don't assault anyone, and don't conspire to share the money. Right below that? Don't mess with sustenance. Someone who poured out my rice and beans? Dead. To. Me. 
Brandon would be dangerous. He'd be the one the where the broadcaster uses his first, middle and last names. -suzzee
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-16-13, 08:01 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Week 5" |
I thought about changing channels but I wanted to see if Jiffy's hands would work their way off Brandon's shoulders and clamp around his neck. That would have been awesome. I should be watched....closely.
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SOAR64 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-15-13, 08:17 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Week 5" |
My contestant Gufu is awarded to Phillip. Just before he was shown taking a walk on the beach, Phillip sank the machete into the tree stump and left it there. Not a smart thing to do with Brandon in his current mental state. Brandon could have done some real damage to the camp and even some of the contestants if he had decided to do so. Remember the pictures of Lex with a machete.
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-27-13, 10:29 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Week 6" |
They could do an individual race or challenge of some kind; then place them on tribes according to their finish order; evens on one tribe; odds on the other.
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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-28-13, 09:26 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Week 7" |
Contestant GUFU - Each and every member of Tribe-R-Us for not drowning Agent 86 sorry about that, Max when they had the chance. Even with all the cameras rolling, no jury would convict them.
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-04-13, 00:32 AM (EST)
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29. "Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-04-13 AT 00:49 AM (EST)Contestants Gufu: Corinne and the Muscleheads. That was your big play, trying to knock out Sherri, someone with no real position in the game at the moment? Nevermind that it didn't work because even with Erik they only had the numbers for a tie, if Corinne had stuck to her guns and gone after Phillip there was at least a chance that Erik would stick with them (he does not like Phillip) and that someone else might come on board. Contestant Gufu: Phillip. I think he has finally made a huge mistake with how he treated Sherri. She's the people person with the people skills and got a total read on him just in that brief moment, huge opening for her to not only get back some footing in the game but play him for a fool. Contestant Gufu: Brenda: Production Gufu: Oh, come on, at least point the camera her way a little more often!
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-04-13, 11:19 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Week 8" |
DITTO Corrine: You could have at least tried to get Sherri to vote with you & get rid of Phillip. You could have had Julia & Michael vote with you last week before the merge and get rid of Phillip.
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SOAR64 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-04-13, 02:25 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Week 8" |
If I remember correctly, Boston Rob even had his Rob-Bots trimming his facial hair with a pair of scissors. Let's see Phillip attempt to do that.
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Dakota 5643 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-04-13, 06:02 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Week 8" |
Corinne -- overplayed handDawn -- seems to be trying to be everything to everyone - will she be seen as loyal and trustworthy later on? Reynolds -- with his batting average he actually uttered the words "if the vote goes as planned" ROFLMBO Production: Brenda. Who? Tribe's Talent '12
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Dakota 5643 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-11-13, 07:43 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Week 9" |
Malcolm - Yea. Like Dabo said. Gotta see this woman's loyalties at this point. Even she was surprised. Eddie - Usually these duets are dangerous for others. This twosome seems to be dangerous to themselves. Clumsily trying to form an All Male Alliance that didn't quite work out.
Tribe's Talent '12
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-18-13, 00:21 AM (EST)
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41. "Week 10" |
 Now that was a great episode! Production Gufu: Promoing that an accident threatens a player's future in the game when, um yeah, it's an accident that occured long before the game began. Whichever one it was. What nonsense. There was plenty to build up excitement and viewership for this episode without that nonsense, dummies. Contestant Gufu: Phillip. Oh, here's an IC I cannot win, how do I get out of it? I have an irrational fear of being trapped underwater by a giant floating square. Contestant Gufu: Dawn. Yeah, I can understand how losing your partial in the water is embarrassing. It is no reason, though, to quit a game for a cool mil. Contestant nonGufu: Brenda: Hey, she got a confessional, and it was about not turning her back on Dawn. Good for her, Dawn is good at stabbing backs.
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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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04-18-13, 10:06 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Week 10" |
Agree with your production gufu. I would expand on your contestant gufu to Phillip. Not only did he wimp out on the IC, but he maintained his arrogant attitude all the way to the end. As we all know, Hubris has a tendency to be followed by Nemesis, and in Phil's case it certainly was, in the form of the Three Young Studs. A well deserved elimination.
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Dakota 5643 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-18-13, 11:54 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Week 10" |
1. Philip and the gang for not seeing it coming. They knew about two immunities before IC and when HII's are in play you have to have a contingency plan in place. I'm the only person who finds Philip amusing, I guess. He's annoying, but I don't think he's a bad guy. One of the few things Rawb and I agree on. Anyway, there will be scrambling next week unless they can pull themselves together. As for the IC, he wouldn't have won anyway. 2. Dawn for falling apart. Hey, it's rough out there, but you've been there before, knew what you'd signed up for, and you're a basket case. 3. The whole tribe for not moving a muscle while Dawn was calling for help. She could have had a python wrapped around her or something. Production: Have to go with the crowd on this one.
Tribe's Talent '12
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-25-13, 00:29 AM (EST)
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46. "Week 11" |
Contestant Gufu. Malcolm. Way to head to Auction intent on holding out for an advantage and then immediately bidding on the first item, brewsky and nuts. Extra points off for the brewsky. Keep your head in the game! Contestant Mega-Gufu. Malcolm. What??? Andrea and Cochran show up to watch you find the HII so you stop digging around??? Keep looking, let them watch you find it, it's immunity!!! Contestant Mini-Gufu. Brenda. Yeah, it was pig brain, kinda disgusting and disappointing, but really pulling the "I don't eat pig" was a stretch. Not like she's Jewish or Muslim, she's Asian, since when do Asians not eat pig? Contestant Not-a-Gufu. Dawn. Dayummmmmm!!! Even though she didn't win, that was a very impressive challenge performance at IC, crazy woman has been touched by the Great Spirit. Next endurance challenge could be hers going away.
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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-25-13, 01:46 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Week 11" |
First gufu: King Bonk and the Two Meatheads. I'll forgive the $20 for beer and nuts, since Malcolm got the idol clue out of it, but Eddie should have been all over that immunity advantage like my cat on a laser pointer. Instead, he sat there with a dumb look on his face and let himself get Coch-blocked.Next: I stopped eating pork about two months ago (not for religious reasons or anything; it just makes me feel sick.) Brenda gets served "pig brains." Apparently for ten seconds, she forgot that pork is made from pigs. Did she grow up watching cartoons starring Porky Elephant or something? The Big One: Malcolm. You've played this game before. A savvy player finds the idol right in front of Andrea and plays Hide-the-Idol. Granted, this game works better if, say, Eddie has immunity, but if Eddie holds on for immunity, then you at least have a little bit of leverage to sway Erik or Sherri. Instead, you decide to walk back to camp with your fingers in your nose and take your vote-smack like a no-talent scrub who lost the last season to Denise. Production: Don't most weight-bearing challenges have some kind of handicapping based on pre-show weight? The bamboo logs looked pretty equal-sized, so Brenda was holding the same weight that Eddie was. Frankly, this challenge had "we want one of the meatheads to win" written all over it - and they STILL bungled it away.
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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-25-13, 03:48 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Week 11" |
They did say the logs were X% of each person's pre-game weigh in. So regardless of how they looked they said they adjusted, but they could have lied.
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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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04-26-13, 05:26 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Week 11" |
Contestant ultra-Gufu-Malcolm. Dig the damn thing up anyway, you stupid idiot! Then play it and have all your buddies vote for Andrea. Gad, will human stupidity ever cease to amaze me!
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-02-13, 00:52 AM (EST)
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54. "Week 12" |
LAST EDITED ON 05-02-13 AT 06:19 PM (EST)Contestant Gufu: Erik. Seriously, he should have gone ahead and knocked off Eddie even though neither side gave him that option. 1, it takes out one of his major challenge competitors. 2, it takes the wind out of Andrea's sails a bit and leaves her with fewer options, but keeps the HII in a known position. 3, it keeps him in position to continue playing both sides while Brenda and Cochran keep Andrea in their sights. Contestant Gufu: Andrea. Enjoy the souvenir HII. Production Gufu: What, we run out of food bribes after only a measely two? Bummer. Oh, and way to give Andrea the HII clue in such an obvious way. Jury Gufu: Reynold: Whattup with the Groucho moustache?
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Dakota 5643 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-10-13, 04:01 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: Finale Week" |
I should do this in a timely fashion so that I don't forget things. Cochran, you're an idiot. I just can't remember why. Dawn. You've been here before, right? No surprise at how tough it is, right? So cut the crying and whimpering. You've stabbed people in the back and now you're whimpering about reward that you didn't even win. Brenda. I don't fault her for what she did, I fault her for doing it for Dawn. Production: Let the winner of the challenge win it. Don't do this crazy stuff. Agman's Spring Fling '12.2
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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-10-13, 06:39 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: Finale Week" |
"Brenda. I don't fault her for what she did, I fault her for doing it for Dawn.Production: Let the winner of the challenge win it. Don't do this crazy stuff."

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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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05-11-13, 03:04 AM (EST)
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61. "RE: Finale Week" |
Agreed about the loved ones challenge. That is very cruel to put people in that position after 30+ days in the game. If CBS has any decency they'll bar EPMB and Jeffo from doing that bull$hit anymore. And they'll see a lot of people blatantly throwing this challenge in the future if they don't.
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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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05-13-13, 01:41 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: The End" |
It would have been foolish of him to do that. She obviously was going to have none of it, and if he had done as you suggest it would have just gotten uglier and uglier till Probst had to stop it, because she was going to take none of his criticism. There's no point getting in a spraying match with a skunk, because all it does is make you smell bad. Sitting down and shutting up was all he could do in that situation.
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-13-13, 02:58 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: The End" |
exactly! I didn't mean for him to continue talking to Sherri. He could have turned his comments to Cochran or Dawn. He did not have to slink back to his seat like he had been reprimanded.
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Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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05-15-13, 08:51 AM (EST)
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67. "RE: The End" |
But what better way to make Sherri look like the overbearing beyatch that she is and bury her chances of getting any final TC votes OR the hundred grand?
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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05-15-13, 11:23 AM (EST)
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68. "RE: The End" |
But what better way to make Sherri look like the overbearing beyatch that she is...I don't think Sherri needs any help in looking exactly like what she is. I did love the way Jiffy spilled the fact that not only was she a business owner but already a millionaire. If any of the jury or viewers felt the least bit sorry for her that statement justified it. I wonder if Jiffy said that just to put her in her place for trashing one of his Fav's. As for Erik, I think he was still a little off from his ordeal and as far as Sherri goes, she's an arrogant narcissistic old troll.  I should be watched....closely.
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-15-13, 12:58 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: He Didn't Sit Down" |
shame on the editing! They made Erik look like a wimp.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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