LAST EDITED ON 12-08-12 AT 06:32 PM (EST)
Confused, Befuddled, and Foggy.
Spoiler #1: Poor Clueless Carter. It will be revealed that Carter’s strategy is to be a nice person thinking that that will get him to the end. Because he deserves it. This, in spite of numerous examples (one only has to remember the strategy of the first winner, Richard Hatch). Nice guys are deluded doormats.
Spoiler #2: Meanwhile, Abi is still a bitch. And probably destined for F3, at least, and to be called back for future seasons of Survivor. Her cousins and siblings will also probably appear.
Spoiler #3: Probst will get his customary suck up at the reward challenge, this time from the family visitors. Carefully selected and well-rehearsed family visitors will bestow praises upon his Blue Shirtness.
Spoiler #4: Penner’s island hat will go into the TC fire. The TSA barred it from entering the US because it started walking around on its own volition. Fortunately (for the world) he acquired a replacement at the Ponderosa.
Spoiler #5: And listen to this kids, here’s a hot one – Abi’s big problem (in her mind) on the island is that’s she’s too honest.
Spoiler #6: Someone else mentioned this, so this is a second hand spoiler, but Lisa wins this season’s award for having the Ugliest Cry Face.
Spoiler #7: In the producer's most biased challenge this season, Abi is partnered with her mother who doesn't speak English. Apparently Production thought Abi's chances of winning an unbiased challenge were too good this week, so they saddled her with a partner who actually does have cultural issues.
Spoiler #8: And Skupin and his son will face off to determine who is mas self-destructive. Being younger and still with most of his appendages intact, Skupin’s son pulls off the win (and the skin on his arms) by climbing a coconut palm in a fruitless and completely unnecessary (they fall of their own accord when ripe) attempt to chop down a coconut. Ah, the younger generation.
Spoiler #9: Lisa is Confused, Befuddled and Foggy. But she knows that God is a win win kinda guy, even though she is shot to smithereens.
God has a message for Lisa. " Cut the crap, and stop bothering me, Me-Damn-it! "
Spoiler #10: In a confessional Malcolm finally explains that Abi has joined the Dementors. And that does, indeed, explain a lot.
"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."
Remus Lupin to Harry Potter.
Tribe dealt it, we smelt it.