Survivor Philippines Episode 8 Summary: "Dead Man Walking"
Welcome back all you Basherites. Plunk your post-Halloween booties (growing with all the sweets, right?) and read all about this week’s adventure on Survivor Philippines.
But before you start be sure to check out Suzzee’s excellent Zombieland Survival Guide, (aka the episode 7 summary.
This week’s episode was called Dead Man Walking. Whoa, did the producers get their dates wrong? Shouldn’t the Dead Man Walking episode been for Halloween week??? Maybe they thought it would be scarier for US Election week!!
The episode begins as always with return from TC. During that TC Jonathon played his HII thus saving himself, and the scattered tribe used their remaining votes to remove the lovely RC from the game and make her the first juror. Was Jonathon happy about saving himself with the HII? Probably, but he masked it well with anger over all the votes he received. He’s played the game before, and been voted out before, but this time he is p!ssed and out for vengeance!! Suddenly Jonathon has become one of those lone wolf superheroes, who has walked through the spray of bullets from his
former alliance foes and now will get his revenge. Except that those superheroes never wore a goofy hat and striped shorts. But maybe the hat is his magic…
This week’s episode is brought to you by the letter C, as in Combinatorics!!. Survivor is a complex social game, with hard survival elements, but one might think the math is easy. At this point in the game there are 10 Survivors remaining, 3 females and 7 males. They originate from 3 tribes (well, 2 tribes and 1 cookie jar). There are 6 (or 7) episodes remaining to eliminate all but 3 (or 2?) eventually ending in 1 player winning $1,000,000. (or maybe only $600,000 if you are a Texas tax-paying Republican Obama-hater). I know many of you are big Math geeks, and want me to get into lots of details and formulae or all the combinations of alliances and voting patterns that we can expect over the coming weeks. I could try, but these Dangrayners seem to defy mathematical logic. How else could a tribe of 7 merge with a tribe of 4 and start by voting out one of their own? Suffice it to say that a lot of scrambling and juggling of the alliances happens over the next hour.
Off to the reward challenge – Human Fishing!! In this challenge the Survivors are split into 2 team of 5 and each takes turn dragging a rope into the ocean and acting as human bait. The first tribe to have a swimmer eaten by a shark wins!! Or maybe that was just my dream. In reality (?) the players had to swim out with a rope, hook onto a fish basket, dive down to unclip the rope, and get dragged bag to the beach. 4x swimmers of this, and then a final puzzle. Very close challenge with most people doing well (and avoiding JP’s barbs) except Lisa (who swam very poorly, and yet they didn’t give her the close target??) and Skupin (who had trouble diving without having a broken mask. In the end he team of Lisa, Penner, Jeff, Denise, and Malc, despite coming out of the water last, solve their puzzle faster and win the rewards (boat trip and mountain of food, more than their bodies can handle).
Meanwhile, back at camp, Carter and Skupin are stuck with the evil 3 – Abi Amin, Artis Hitler, and Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater (hey, the guy was evil, he kept his wife in a pumpkin shell!!, and would put Abi in there too if he didn’t want her as sitting next to him facing the jury). The geniuses all seem to agree that Penner is the next to go.
Geez, that’s a lot of writing. I will make the next day short – everyone agrees that Penner is next to go. Everyone but “dead man walking” Penner, who tells Mike that he is next because Penner is winning Individual Immunity. At least Babe Ruth had hit a few home runs before he pointed over the fence and called his shot. Penner has played 3 times and never won an Individual Immunity challenge, so what are the odds? (more math!!)
Oh, and Jeff Kent tells us for the infinity time that he wants the returning players to go before him. Is he playing for the win, or just to outlast the returnees? Hmmm…
Off to the Immunity Challenge. Usual sort of obstacle course to untying knots to collect puzzle pieces. First 3 to collect their pieces will get to do the puzzle (a snake). Jonathon knows his whole season hinges on winning this challenge, but doesn’t bother to remove that stooped hat. Maybe it is magic like Frosty’s hat!! Off they go through the obstacle course and things are close. As expected the strong men move inch ahead, with Pete and Kent taking the top 2 spots. Malcolm would normally have done well but I think he got his long hair caught in the knots. It seems that Mike is about to take the third and final spot in the final when the magic hat kicks in and throws Penner over the line. A collective uh-oh from the rest of the Survivors, as they all know Penner is traditionally good at puzzles. But surely all the magic from the hat was used up to get him to the final, right? Wrong. Despite falling behind early on the puzzle, Penner shows that he can handle the snake better than these other guys. Incredibly the Hat wins the IC, and will be safe at tribal tonight. One of the others? Not-so-much.
Back at camp, and while Penner is finally safe, the rest of them are eggs and scrambling like mad. Skupin was the initial target, but then Lisa decides it’s time to betray her alliance with Malcolm to go after the HII. Pete learns of the HII and goes straight to Malc who denies. Can’t anyone on this show keep a secret or sense bad acting? In the course of a couple of hours back at camp virtually every remaining Survivor not named Penner seems to become a target.
What the heck will happen at TC?? More than you could ever imagine.
Off to TC and RC comes in looking very good. At least one of the remaining male players actually gives her a “hubba-hubba” I think.
I could never write-up and do justice to all the shenanigans that happened at TC. Malcolm’s HII was called out and shown, and they on a whim Probst asks if anyone else has an HII and Abi-Normal shows hers. Duh? Alliances are made, broken and remade on the fly, Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and more. There was more positioning and scrambling going on that in the US Federal Election (and seemingly more undecided swing states). Probst seems stunned by all the revelations and discussions. He could easily drag this on and get even more goodies from the players. But hey, we’ve only got an hour, so time to vote.
Reading the votes. Despite such a crazy TC, Malcolm decides NOT to play his HII. Is he good at reading the others? I guess we will find out.
Abi – maybe she should have played her HII?? Wouldn’t that be fun if she was first to join RC at Loser Lodge??
4 votes Pete, 4 votes Jeff, 1 vote Abi-Normal, 1 vote to go…
And the one voted out is Jeff.
Malc was correct in reading the others regarding playing the HII, but is shocked about the result. Probst proclaims that a big opportunity was missed, but this is not explained. For those who don’t read spoilers, there is a lot of speculation that there was more than one vote, after the initial vote being a tie. If so, then this TC alone could have used up the whole hour of the show!!
So Jeff Kent takes his 60 million bucks from baseball over to Ponderosa to wallow in self-pity about not out-lasting 2 of the returning players. That and complain about Democratic fiscal restraint and taxation. We'll miss you and your Movember 'stache, Jeff. Here's hoping they never cast someone with a name that matches the host's name again.
Next time on Survivor… don’t ask me, ask Pepe – it’s his episode to recap.