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Original Message
"Pepe Le Pew's Cornertime with Kismet"
Posted by Kismet on 08-18-01 at 10:43 PM

Pepe Le Pew's Cornertime

<Kismet is seen putting on a gas mask as she enters the Cornertime area. The stinky, foggy mist inside is thick and looks rather suffocating. She finds Pepe with his tail raised and spraying the timer to see if he can get it to freeze without the capability to add extra time to it. Pepe senses the presence of the Evil Overlord and scurries around to spray the air with Lysol and sit obediently on the stool. The mist clears and Kismet takes off her gas mask. She mumbles, "Oh great now it smells like the boy's bathroom after someone pukes." She adds 4 hours to the timer the previously read 2:55:08>

Thank you for joining us ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being so patient during our brief hiatus. In the corner today we have Pepe Le Pew. Pepe was a spoiler board person, who wandered into the Off Topic and became a favorite there rather quickly. Let's get to know him better shall we?

<Kismet and Pepe shake hands.>

Why are you in the corner and who sent you here Pepe?

I’m not sure. Perhaps it has something to do with my wife Babs strolling into the Blow Hole bar without the manual on who’s-who and how to act, not to mention taking over GT’s name for the night…

No, No, Babs was great. Want to try again?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I’ve taken a couple of long vacations recently?

Maybe? Of course that is why you are here. Dont you know that you are supposed to vacation with your computer? Ahh well, now that you are here, you might as well tell us how you found this crazy place and why decided to hang around.

I was hooked on Survivor from the first show but never thought of looking on the computer to see what kind of sites there were - the only one I ever checked out during the first Survivor was the main CBS site. Then, during S2, I ran across a banner ad and decided to check out SS. I merely lurked around for a while on SS and other places as I didn’t feel like there was any bother in registering and posting. Then one day, tired of SS, I searched around for more interesting stuff and found SB. That very first day, I was fascinated by how people seemed to really put together intelligent points and arguments in Spoilers and watching how people responded to getting flamed, etc. I lurked and just read posts for maybe 2 weeks before someone said something during a thread about predicting the shish-ke-babing of Michael Skupin and I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore, I registered and made an counter-point.

You knew you were coming here, and I assume you prepared. Would you like to tell us your favorite posters now?

<Pepe nods and pulls out a prepared statement from his pocket. He puts on his reading glasses>

Ahem, ladies and gentlemen, here is my list of favourite posters. I just know somebody’s going to get left out by mistake and that person will petition to have time added to my clock. There’s so many people to mention, but without each of you, I wouldn’t still be here and having a great time.

Amongst the list of my favourite posters, alphabetically: AyatollahKhomeini for his sage wisdom and thought-provoking discussions, IceCat for the great graphics and spoiling ability, ItzLisa for her joie d’vivre spirit, Kismet for helping to make OT the happenin’ place during the offseason, OFG for everything, sleeeve for his spoiling, Superman for just being waaaay out there, plus many of the people I’ve mentioned below as the bar patrons I enjoy interacting with.

And there’s the bar patrons that I regularly run into and never fail to have a good time with (in alphabetical order): Buggy, DK, dabo, GT, Jizzy, LadyT, Leif, Misto, Monkeyboy, Rhino, Rio, Roni, SherpaDave, Survivorerist, Vampy, Volmel.

I just love your nickname. Why did you choose Pepe Le Pew?

Two reasons, actually. First, when I was about six years old, I saw a kitty cat in the backyard and I decided to chase it around and keep it as a pet. By the time I caught up to it, it quickly became apparent that this wasn’t just any “kitty cat” and was rewarded for my efforts with a tomato juice bath. Second, those of you who have read my input in LadyT’s First Kiss thread will remember my story about how I overcame my youthful awkwardness with a first kiss and then proceeded to think for a couple years that I was god’s gift to girls. During this time, I was a bit relentless and combined with my attempts at being suave (saw too many James Bond movies in that time frame), I was compared to Pepe Le Pew, cartoon skunk.

My first name on here was actually MacGyver13 - only lurked but never posted. MacGyver is an old nickname from coworkers as I used to solve customer problems using whatever I could lay my hands on, including the time I used a coworker’s super-hold hair spray in place of sticky goo to spray onto the back of a picture onto a matte sheet for a customer who had a major presentation in a hour (and I prayed that he wouldn’t find out and the picture wouldn’t fall apart during the show).

How do you differ from your BV counterpart? Do you like the way you have been portrayed?

Well, it seems that I’m a perverted, hormone-crazed, veggie-loving skunk on BV who eats figs, asparagus, mushroom and snail! In real life, I wouldn’t touch any of these four things and I’m actually quite a fastidious eater. I don’t think my wife has any complaints at all in the romance department (nor do I of her), but after my semi-successful lust chases as a teen and university student I learned to settle down and develop a different perspective of women as human beings unlike the BV Pepe! I do have a slight hint of a French accent, but I’m an anglophone all the way. I can think of plenty of ways to have my BV character expanded as I’m certainly a lot more than what has been portrayed, but it’s only a game and you can’t take things too seriously - some people have been carved up worse than I have, so I can’t complain too much.

Ok Pepe, tell us more about the 'real' you…

Well, as about half of the globe knows by now, I just got married on June 30th and Babs has two children from a prior marriage, a girl aged 7 and a boy aged 4. They’re pretty mischievous but generally are great kids (yes, more beautiful than anyone else’s… they may be step-kids but they feel like they’re mine) and make our lives relatively easy. We also have a blue-cream calico cat that answers to the name Jewel - I’ve had plenty of cats in my lifetime and I can say that she’s the best of them all in terms of looks and personality.

Currently I’m on hiatus for the summer. Last semester I taught an adult literacy program at a community college, we had courses designed to match each student’s needs whether it’s with English literacy, math, life skills, computers, citizenship preparation or mock parliamentary skills. At the moment, it’s unknown if I’ll go back to teaching in the fall and am currently playing Mr. Mom to the kids for the next 3 weeks until school & daycare service starts up again.

Prior to teaching, I was a graphic artist for a newspaper, designing ads that you’d see in the paper every day (mostly travel stuff or car ads). At various times in my life, I’ve been a waterski instructor, lifeguard, first aid instructor with St. John Ambulance, brokerage clerk, accounting clerk, and did desktop publishing.

Let me say Congratulations again on your wedding, Pepe. Are you enjoying the married life thus far?

Thanks. It’s been a terrific 6 weeks to date and we’ve found that life has actually been better since the wedding with all the pressure off. We haven’t really had a chance to get settled down yet with the 16-day vacation after the wedding and then a 10-day spell at the cottage, but I’m looking forward to the challenges that the next year will bring.

Some of us have had the pleasure of meeting your wife, Babs. What would she tell us about you that you don’t want us to know…

Hmm, she might tell you that I can really lose my temper if my buttons are sufficiently pushed. I don’t show that on the boards because I will usually have a little time to blow off steam before I get back online to write something. I will also typically make life miserable for service people or anyone who think they can get away with making me feel like an insignificant person (my phone battles with Future Shop and Sears is probably legend with servicepeople there by now).

You are hearing impaired. What is the most positive benefit of that?

Well, the hard part is that people can get the wrong idea, see it only as a disability and think that I’m incapable of doing certain things just because I don’t hear as well as the average person (see the previous question). All this means is that I don’t hear things as well as the next person just like some might not see things as well and need glasses. I grew up constantly having to prove myself in the school system and it helped make me a tougher person and provided for richer life experiences by not allowing myself to be limited in anything. The mantra that I live my life with is: The only disability is in your mind if you allow yourself to think it is one.

What a great mantra Pepe! I think that is all the question Is there anything else you want us to know?

I’m just wondering when do I reap the benefits of my peanut butter sponsorship deal?

I have no idea sweetie. I would take that to one of the board lawyers. Thank you for the interview Pepe. This concludes this cornertime.

 

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