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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"Be The Living Damned Week #6: In Which Gordon Experiences False Hope."
Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-25-06, 05:42 PM (EST)
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"Be The Living Damned Week #6: In Which Gordon Experiences False Hope." |
Did that actually happen? Let me (censored) review the last two days. I'm almost certain I was awake for most of it. Let's see... we'd actually completed a dinner service, I remember that part... and then Maribel left and her picture caught on fire after I walked by it, those things just happen sometimes and I'm (blurred) not sure why... It was the next morning, right? And I gave out black jackets because we only have enough psuedo-chefs left to work one kitchen and it also saves my legs, which were getting a little tired from running back and forth to (bleeped) scream at people. Then I think I gave them all my new chef test: ten ingredients, twenty minutes, no excuses. And Keith and Virgina actually made edible dishes. Could that be right? Food that didn't try to burn a hole through my (censored) tongue? Keith's was just a little better, so I gave him a trip to Las Vegas to see where the restaurant is going to be, and he took Virginia because she came so close. That was sort of (blurred) classy of him. I'm sure that in prison language, Garrett's fondling all those (censored) knives was a sign of respect. We fumigated for roaches -- I think I saw Sara have an allergic reaction at some point -- and then we cleaned up and had another dinner service. This one's really a (blurred) blur. I'm almost certain we had a twelve-top set up, and the little maniacs managed to keep it happy. Jean-Phillipe was even happier, and that worries me. Was there anything else? Let me think. Virginia tried to cook tortellini when we didn't need any -- Sara has no working auditory center -- Heather had her worst night ever -- Garrett nearly killed someone by trying to pass off raw chicken -- and Keith was really good. In fact, he was so good that I added his challenge creation to the menu for the night. I was awake, wasn't I? Did we actually serve a hundred people without an incident? Oh, wait -- ninety-nine. I remember that someone tried to plate a serving of crevasse' which I hadn't approved, and the customer took offense to it. I wonder why. Two complete dinner services in a row. I think -- yes, Garrett's gone, because the raw chicken is good for convicts and bad for business. Two complete dinner services... Is this Heaven? Or just Los Angeles?
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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-28-06, 05:16 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #6: In Which Gordon Experiences False Hope." |
I thought she was just mumbling something from the third book of your Earth New Testament:"the Gospel of the outcast, of the Samaritan, the publican, the harlot, and the prodigal" Then again, it's also "the Gospel of Saintly Life"!! That can't be right. So it's Skywalker again, is it? Ahh, my son won't save you, Sara. He's too much of an honest Spud, not for a little Schnöttengruber like you. *swish* *zing!* Another strike for the Potatoes of Earth!
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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-31-06, 08:34 AM (EST)
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13. "On patrol..." |
Due to some unfortunate and unspeakably cruel events in prior weeks, we are forced to go on patrol in Hell's Kitchen to prevent anymore Crustacean boiling events. WARNING!! Anyone who fills a kettle with water will have their ankles de-fleshed. We have also removed all crab related recipes from Hell's kitchen cook-books, and substituted rat-meat (or as we like to refer to it, Sara Pate) recipies. Crabs everywhere unite!! One claw for all!!
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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-31-06, 10:42 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: On patrol..." |
LAST EDITED ON 07-31-06 AT 10:43 AM (EST)You will, of course, have to learn to walk on fleshless ankles. But, let's negociate.... surely there is some middle ground. (beware the siren who tries to get you to buy into 'at least you will be tasty!')
Ummmmm Pork, Ummmmm, it's the other white meat..... ummmm gooood!!!
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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-31-06, 06:59 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #6: In Which Gordon Experiences False Hope." |
Sounds like we need to target the Chief Devil Chef him/her/it self.Eat your fill Herm bro/sis, and as always, the skull is your future condo. We might have a pleasant surprise waiting for us in the scrap bin after tonite. Bra-ha-ha-chitter-chitter, Bra-ha-ha-chitter-chitter (evil crab laughter)
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