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Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:26 PM (EST) "Monkey Joke" I'll probably get Alerted for this one, but what the heck.... Tim walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes  and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the Tim, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" Tim says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Tim, "He eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While Tim is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies Tim. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Tim. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first." Shucks ma'am, yer too late. I'm one of the Tribe Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. —Mark Twain   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Monkey Joke nailbone 05-10-07 1  RE: Monkey Joke AugustGirl 05-10-07 2    RE: Monkey Joke jbug 05-10-07 5    RE: Monkey Joke Sagebrush Dan 05-10-07 14        RE: Monkey Joke jbug 05-10-07 23        *pushes jbug aside* AugustGirl 05-10-07 27  RE: Monkey Joke Magnolia_Rocker 05-10-07 3  RE: Monkey Joke brvnkrz 05-10-07 4    RE: Monkey Joke Sagebrush Dan 05-10-07 8  RE: Monkey Joke SilverStar 05-10-07 6  RE: Monkey Joke arkiegrl 05-10-07 7    RE: Monkey Joke Sagebrush Dan 05-10-07 9        RE: Monkey Joke arkiegrl 05-10-07 11  RE: Monkey Joke samboohoo 05-10-07 10  RE: Monkey Joke Snidget 05-10-07 12  RE: Monkey Joke Brownroach 05-10-07 13    RE: Monkey Joke geg6 05-10-07 15  RE: Monkey Joke sharnina 05-10-07 16  RE: Monkey Joke bullzeye 05-10-07 17  RE: Monkey Joke Lasann 05-10-07 18  RE: Monkey Joke byoffer 05-10-07 19  RE: Monkey Joke CutsyTootsy 05-10-07 20  RE: Monkey Joke dragonflies 05-10-07 21  RE: Monkey Joke agman 05-10-07 22  RE: Monkey Joke Breezy 05-10-07 24    RE: Monkey Joke AugustGirl 05-10-07 28  RE: Monkey Joke Molaholic 05-10-07 25    RE: Monkey Joke Sagebrush Dan 05-10-07 29        RE: Monkey Joke Molaholic 05-10-07 35  RE: Monkey Joke jbug 05-10-07 26    RE: Monkey Joke Sagebrush Dan 05-10-07 30        RE: Monkey Joke MKitty 05-10-07 34        RE: Monkey Joke jbug 05-11-07 38  RE: Monkey Joke qwertypie 05-10-07 31  RE: Monkey Joke Mon Cherie 05-10-07 32  RE: Monkey Joke LookeeLoo 05-10-07 33  RE: Monkey Joke Prof_ Wagstaff 05-10-07 36  LOL moonbaby 05-10-07 37

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nailbone 27263 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:32 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Monkey Joke" LOL!!! That made my day!!!   Top

AugustGirl 11534 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:34 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Monkey Joke" Oh.My.Heck. That made me snort. I truly laughed so hard I snorted. Dan! *SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:37 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Monkey Joke" me too! looking around to see who might have heard me Handcrafted by RollDdice   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:15 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Monkey Joke" Sculpted by Tribe How you doin', sugar?   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 03:18 PM (EST) 23. "RE: Monkey Joke" I'm good (you're so sweet!) But your sig pics are killing me! Handcrafted by RollDdice or should I say pecs?]   Top

AugustGirl 11534 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 04:48 PM (EST) 27. "*pushes jbug aside*" I believe Dan was talking to me. HRMPH! Dan!!!!!!! It's so good to see you posting again. *bug wet sloppy smooch*   Top

Magnolia_Rocker 2139 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-10-07, 12:36 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Monkey Joke" LMFAO!! Thanks for that Dan...I now have drink up my nose. Snidget Mommyfied me!   Top

brvnkrz 20491 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:36 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Monkey Joke" *snort* Poor Gus. Arkie Rocks!!!   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:57 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Monkey Joke" I was thinking of Gus, too. Shucks ma'am, yer too late. I'm one of the Tribe Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. —Mark Twain   Top

SilverStar 6205 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:53 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Monkey Joke" Dude. Did you have to post this at lunchtime? *whack* A Tribe work of art   Top

arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:55 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Monkey Joke" Oh, Dan. *shakes head* That is so gross, yet still funny. tattooed by tribephyl   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:58 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Monkey Joke" I couldn't decide whether to post it or PM it. Glad I posted it. Eat your heart out, Arkie! Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. —Mark Twain   Top

arkiegrl 9421 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:04 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Monkey Joke" But feel free to PM any other jokes to me, anytime. I miss getting them. *smooch*   Top

samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 12:59 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Monkey Joke" *gigglesnort* Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.   Top

Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:05 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Monkey Joke" Yeeouch!!! *gigglesnort* Tribe sprung my spring!   Top

Brownroach 15341 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:07 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Monkey Joke" Tee-hee-hee - that is a good one, Dan. <makes note to email to friends after lunch> Blowin' the blues away, courtesy of tribephyl   Top

geg6 14941 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:29 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Monkey Joke" My thoughts exactly. LOL! "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." Albert Einstein   Top

sharnina 3083 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-10-07, 01:33 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Monkey Joke" *chucklesnort* Thanks for the laugh. Save the cheerleader, save the world. Are you on the list? Someone flies, someone dies. Shar's World   Top

bullzeye 5030 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 01:42 PM (EST) 17. "RE: Monkey Joke" Bwahahahahaha!!!! Too funny - thanks for the laugh! A birthday present from Tribe   Top

Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 05-10-07, 01:46 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Monkey Joke" Good one. Heaven on Earth! That’s me lying on the beach *giggle*   Top

byoffer 15947 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 02:19 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Monkey Joke" Very good Dan. That reminds me of an old Wayne Gretzky joke about passing the puck, but I can't seem to find it now.   Top

CutsyTootsy 1795 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-10-07, 02:24 PM (EST) 20. "RE: Monkey Joke" Funny, funny! A Syren original   Top

dragonflies 8051 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 02:46 PM (EST) 21. "RE: Monkey Joke" Too funny! Thanks Dan!   Top

agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 02:50 PM (EST) 22. "RE: Monkey Joke" Thanks Dan, That joke was perfect to help turn my day around...now I just need to find someone to tell it to.. I know everything,except for the things I don't know   Top

Breezy 18380 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 03:21 PM (EST) 24. "RE: Monkey Joke" LOL Save a horse, ride a cowboy.   Top

AugustGirl 11534 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 04:49 PM (EST) 28. "RE: Monkey Joke" Excuse me? Where the flip have you been today? It's not a good idea to leave Bravie and me alone all day, unsupervised. We get into trouble. Sheesh.   Top

Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 03:25 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Monkey Joke" I'm glad I read this after the kids left from testing. The sight of their reacher spewing water all over the monitor and such would definately be a negative distraction and probably lower their scores. <will be stealing this and sending on to my whole address book>   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 05:01 PM (EST) 29. "RE: Monkey Joke" reacher? Shucks ma'am, yer too late. I'm one of the Tribe Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. —Mark Twain   Top

Molaholic 9015 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 08:26 PM (EST) 35. "RE: Monkey Joke" reacher? That's what I get for posting on the sly ... even if testing was over for the day. (hey, at least I was in the correct rol) Now don't give me any more grief for the "rol" --- that was intentional. Yet another Syren gem © MMV   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 03:49 PM (EST) 26. "RE: Monkey Joke" I get some great jokes thru email - and PG13 too! I know not everyone here wants to clutter up the boards with jokes, but I really did enjoy this one. Any chance that there could be a "joke" board? (I know they did get a special board started up just for Survivor games.) Or is there one that I don't know about? Handcrafted by RollDdice   Top

Sagebrush Dan 10002 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 05:11 PM (EST) 30. "RE: Monkey Joke" LAST EDITED ON 05-10-07 AT 09:29 PM (EST) I used to get tons of jokes from my sister, but I just spaced them to one per week. Then her source dried up, so my source dried up. I stumbled across this one. Meanwhile, here's a siggie parade for you, courtesy of Tribe. Ridin' with the Tribe. There are a couple more, but they're not exactly PG-13   Top

MKitty 2976 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-10-07, 06:42 PM (EST) 34. "RE: Monkey Joke" Great joke Dan! And, fwiw... LOVE your siggies too and feel free to PM me any of the non-PG13 ones!   Top

jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-11-07, 10:47 AM (EST) 38. "RE: Monkey Joke" You're killing me friend! But thanks, I really enjoy these; you know i do! (you can pm me the others too. I can take it, really I can.) Handcrafted by RollDdice   Top

qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 05:12 PM (EST) 31. "RE: Monkey Joke" Tsk Tsk *secretly runs off to e-mail the joke to everyone else* That was funny and unexpected.   Top

Mon Cherie 1813 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-10-07, 06:08 PM (EST) 32. "RE: Monkey Joke" Alerted. Just kidding. Seriously, if I can send that joke to my mom (which I just did), it's not alert-worthy. Thanks for the laugh! C'est Moi.   Top

LookeeLoo 1169 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 05-10-07, 06:39 PM (EST) 33. "RE: Monkey Joke" Bwahahahahaha! I've missed your jokes the mostest! -Loo   Top

Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 05-10-07, 09:07 PM (EST) 36. "RE: Monkey Joke" Thanks Dan. That was great. I've always been a sucker for; "A man walks into a bar with a monkey... jokes. Now, like Agman, I have to figure out who to tell it to. Tribephylanthropy! When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.-- Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951)   Top

moonbaby 17120 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-10-07, 09:24 PM (EST) 37. "LOL" and ew! I'm going to have to pass this....around by email   Top

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