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"Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!"
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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04-21-06, 12:41 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Because I haven't seen today's episode it is difficult for me to comment. BUT I will say that I think Kim is ready to graduate in spite of her little episode yesterday.She still has a lot of growing to do and I think SO has done all it can do with someone with Kim's background and problems. I hope she seeks further therapy when she gets home. I think Jeff loves her but he has some problems to deal with as well. She has been socially stunted because of what happened to her. Think about it - in elementary school and junior high a kid does or says something stupid at school and gets all kinds of crap about it. The kid goes home and relates the story to mom and/or dad. Good parents will gently show the kid the mistake that they made and give them good advice on how to handle the situation differently the next time it arises. By the time they finish high school and leave home to go to college they may still be immature and do stupid stuff from time to time but they will have the voices of their parents in the back of their minds reminding them how it's done. Kim simply never got that little reminding voice planted in her brain. In the adult world, rather than telling her she's got diahrea of the mouth, people just sit and smile blankly at her. Or go off in a completely inappropriate manner much like Kelly did. Kim learns nothing from either response. I hope and pray for her sake and the sake of Jeff and Jax that she gets the help she needs. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
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Stormchaser 56 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-22-06, 01:38 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I expressed the same sentiments early on in Kim's stay. I agree with you, Shanrina. Kim is terribly stunted. It takes years of parental training and encouragement to teach a child how to get along in this world. ( and even then, it's tricky) Think of the countless times a loving parent shapes, molds and prunes a child! Kim is a novice, but think of all she's overcome thus far....not only prior to entering the SO house but also in spite of the SO house's often shoddy treatment. I feel so proud of her for her honesty, ownership and dogged determination to heal and learn. I see no entitlement, rather just a hunger to be known and beloved. Bravo, Kim! She's in my prayers.
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purplysue 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-21-06, 01:45 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I totally agree with you! I am shocked that Kim is graduating. I think she still has alot of work to do. I guess I am really confused because first Rhonda said that she thought Kim took a giant step backward during her speech at Kelly's graduation and then she is the one who told her she was graduating. Sometimes it doesn't make sense. But it is still my favorite show and I watch it every day!
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petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-21-06, 02:22 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
>YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! >Kim graduating? After her >ridiculous, self-serving, "all about me" >speech at Kelly's graduation? >It's more clear than ever >that she just doesn't get >it. > >The fact that Kim can't even >come up with a self >portrait for herself, can't >say what she got out >of the SO house and >needs to go smoke a >pack of cigarettes to figure >it out is even MORE >evidence that she's not ready. > I wonder if Kim smokes around Jax. Writing a few "forgiveness" letters qualifies her for graduation? Did you catch the part where she got mad at Jeff for giving her RED roses? Instead of some other color? Christie was SO right about Kim after Melinda's "birthday" party. There's no satisfying her. I wonder if Rhonda's just getting rid of Kim. So the last two new HG's will have enough time left to complete their SO process.
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greendiamonds 5 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-21-06, 03:49 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
It's true,everyone has the right to their opinion. My opinion is,I*m happy for Kim!!! It takes a long time to undo years of neglect & abuse,and Kelly will learn one day at a time,to believe in herself and forgive herself~ As a parent(who smokes),just because a parent smokes,doesn't mean we smoke around our children. She has good values,she held her tongue,many times as she was verbally abused! She will learn,when she goes home,the best way to "get over" a bad childhood is to be the BEST parent to your children. I think she learned what not to do as a parent. CONGRATZ Kelly!!!!!!!!!!!!
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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"
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04-22-06, 06:03 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
>As a parent(who smokes),just because a >parent smokes,doesn't mean we smoke >around our children. As a child of chain-smoking parents, good for you if you do not smoke around your children. I grew up with a filthy, stinky house and breathing problems. Moved out, *poof* went away-- As an EMT-B who gives others oxygen for a living, and seeing the "repeaters" the children who keep not being able to breathe, because their parents don't believe their breathing problems are in any way connected to 'their' smoking--and ignore the physicians telling them that second hand smoke IS what it IS--and we see them again and again---also, good for you if you don't smoke around your children. I mean that. As for Kim? I don't think she is capable of making the connection of "I smoke, and therefore I need to stay away from Jax while I smoke." I think Kim is more likely to say, "Jax needs to learn to cope with the fact I smoke." >I think she learned what not >to do as a parent. > I don't believe Kim learned anything. But, I hope you are right, for the sake of her son.
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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-21-06, 03:47 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-21-06 AT 04:20 PM (EST)I'm glad that Kim's graduating as well, but for different reasons. I believe that Rhonda said it sooo appropriately when she told Kim it's time to practice her tools in "her real world"...she's become tooooo reliant on SO to get her thru life...that's not a good thing (IMO). Kim's giant step backwards yesterday was a clear sign that they can't help Kim...she did some growing up to a point, but she'll always want more from everyone around her...nothing is ever enough for Kim...she beats any issue to death and frankly, it's useless for her to remain in the house. Kim is a flawed person who demonstrates characteristics of a person who's missing something similar to "synapses" which would normally connect together in order for her to gain understanding of how her actions are preceived....in her brain, her intentions are always good...but, her words betray her because she over thinks issues and replays them in her head to the point that she comes across always in defense of herself...it's really sad to see that she still doesn't get "it" and probably never will. She put in the time and effort, but to no avail...she needs to move on and if graduating her out of the house is the way to do it, then yes, I'm glad she's leaving and I wish her family well and hope that Jeff gets her the rest of the help she so dearly needs for Jax's sake, if nothing more. Good Luck, Kim...you're going to need all you can get. **************************** "I walk in my own shoes..." ****************************
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standinmytruth 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-21-06, 11:50 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
>LAST EDITED ON 04-21-06 >AT 04:20 PM (EST) > >I'm glad that Kim's graduating as >well, but for different reasons. >I believe that Rhonda said >it sooo appropriately when she >told Kim it's time to >practice her tools in "her >real world"...she's become tooooo reliant >on SO to get her >thru life...that's not a good >thing (IMO). > >Kim's giant step backwards yesterday was >a clear sign that they >can't help Kim...she did some >growing up to a point, >but she'll always want more >from everyone around her...nothing is >ever enough for Kim...she beats >any issue to death and >frankly, it's useless for her >to remain in the house. > > >Kim is a flawed person who >demonstrates characteristics of a person >who's missing something similar to >"synapses" which would normally connect >together in order for her >to gain understanding of how >her actions are preceived....in her >brain, her intentions are always >good...but, her words betray her >because she over thinks issues >and replays them in her >head to the point that >she comes across always in >defense of herself...it's really sad >to see that she still >doesn't get "it" and probably >never will. > >She put in the time and >effort, but to no avail...she >needs to move on and >if graduating her out of >the house is the way >to do it, then yes, >I'm glad she's leaving and >I wish her family well >and hope that Jeff gets >her the rest of the >help she so dearly needs >for Jax's sake, if nothing >more. Good Luck, Kim...you're going >to need all you can >get. > >**************************** >"I walk in my own shoes..." > >**************************** Well said cleverone! I absolutely agree with you.
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cronemoon 86 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-21-06, 04:20 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
DEAR KIM...I am so sorry the house fell on your sister.. opps ..maybe it fell on YOU.. =watching kims toes start to curl= you have been a class act witch from day one.. ( insert B word anytime ) You are going to hit that wine bottle the min you hit home.. and you can drag on those ciggies till your bust a vein but your still as mean as cat poop.. your apology today for your "i swar on a stack of them thar bibles..i was not meaning kelly no harm.." yah when pigs fly.. you knew exactly what you were saying last night and you did it with MALIC.. and they can give you a make over but they can never make over your heart.. its like the grinch.. its way too small.. dont fall in the swimming pool when you drop your candle in but then it would not make any diff.. your all washed up anyway.. PBSSSttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ~~~~~~~~
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MizJazmine 532 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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04-21-06, 04:50 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I'm glad Kim's graduating too, because in all honesty I don't think she should have ever been in the SOH to begin with, but she was and that's that. I had the feeling that after her "speech", it was evident that Kim needs way more help than SO could ever give her, but they already knew that. I felt Kim graduating "now" was a spur of the moment thing. For some reason to me Rhonda looked really disheveled today like she'd been hit by a mack truck. She just really looked different to me today. Even the way she announced to Kim her graduating - away from the other hg's just seemed weird. If I'm remembering correctly I don't remember anybody being told alone with their LC that they were graduating. SO couldn't heal Kim's pain from an abused childhood, but they could have given her real "communication tools". From day 1 Kim has had a problem communicating. AGAIN another hg on Rhonda's "caseload" saying, "I don't know how". For Kim to say that "today" it just broke my heart and made me angry because they could have helped her with that. It just showed me what they were NOT doing with her. So AGAIN I lay that at Rhonda's feet...smh. There are a lot of single women in the house right now and odds are is that some of them are going to be mothers in the future. I think they should really consider Kim's childhood abuse, because she is what some adults who have been abused as children look like for better or for worse. I really hope that Kim goes into private/group therapy and that her and her husband get some kind of marital counseling to resolve their issues. Kim has a beautiful smile. I wish Kim the best because I know that she really wants to live a full and healthy life, but IMO she's gonna need some authentic help getting there.
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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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04-21-06, 05:51 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I agree with your post MizJazmine. To me it's like she needed therapy first, then whatever SO just did for her, plus communication practice. All of that takes years.I wish they had let her leave on a high note. Perhaps her graduation was covering up an F by calling it a graduation. They probably don't want to bruise her and add to her sense of the abandonment by kicking her out but I get the idea they confabbed, decided "she must leave" and then to her called it a graduation. It's the LC's equivalent of the one-way conversation with Kim. She's too damaged to think a negative review means anything other than an attack so you can't say it to her. You just have to smile and nod and let her go until she's ready to hear the truth on her own terms. I don't think it's a case of "she'll never change". 2-3 months is a very short time span to deal with issues of the magnitude she has. Plus she's not in any one on one therapy to even start unraveling her thinking patterns. She has a long road to recovery. They did get her to the point of seeing that she was living in the past. That was huge. It's sad she's leaving after the speech fiasco. She knows it.
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-21-06, 07:07 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I am delighted that Kim is leaving Starting Over. It's time. As far as serious therapeutic value is concerned, SO is the equivalent of a McDonald's drive thru. Get in line, check the menu, order what you think you want, go the distance (drive 20 feet), pick up your package, thank you, have a nice day. Two life coaches (a failed actress and a motivational speaker) call most of the shots, and the licensed psychologist is more of a background character. Who knows how much time he really spends with these women. It's not all bad, it's just not enough for women with deep and serious issues. For a woman who is stalled or dealing with a life-changing event, SO can be helpful. They do have access to some decent outside resources. But for Kim, a woman who is damaged at a foundational level, it isn't about an event or one singular challenge - it's the pattern of her life. I think she has more than enough potential to put the past where it belongs, but it's just too big and complicated to sort through without the guidance of someone who really knows what they are doing. She needs the strength, compassion, and knowledge of professionals who understand how a warped and abusive childhood can set some people up for misery and failure. But it doesn't have to stay that way. Kim's trouble with her self-portrait isn't too surprising. What have all the SO exercises accomplished in her life anyway? She is unable to see herself or her life from a new perspective after her weeks of exercises and sessions. Hopefully, this whole experience will leave her with more real questions than pat answers. I'm hoping those questions will lead her to the private office of a qualified medical professional. The SO editing team did a masterful job of making this woman look like a nightmare. She couldn't possibly be that horrendous all of the time. Did I hear Christie weeping and saying that "her girl", Kim, had brought light into the house? Um...did I miss something? I thought Christie would have packed her bags. So, goodbye to Kim. She's a beautiful and intelligent woman who deserves a lot more from life and herself. I wish her the best. I hope she isn't too horrified by watching herself on television. I don't know how eager she'll be to remain in the SO sisterhood when she sees some of the footage she didn't know existed, especially the gabfests and Kelly's phone calls.
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Lanna42 263 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-22-06, 11:54 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Well said Seasoned. Whatever the ongoing issues Kim deserves some peace in her life and hopefully she'll get it.It was painful to the extreme to watch.Like someone trying to apply first aide to a slashed artery by putting on a band aid.She needs a well trained,compassionate therapist to give her the time it's going to take.And it is going to take time.I'm talking years probably.Kim watching the footage...haha....she did have her "Real World" moments didn't she?Which is one thing when your twenty something and something altogether different when your 30+.Oh well...........it should curb the overly puritanical judgements of Jeff though. Don't you think?
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sillybear 84 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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04-21-06, 05:56 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I think there is only so much the starting over house can do for any woman.At some point she has to go into the world and use the tools and skills the women learn.I think she did her steps and assignments the best she could.At least Kim did not make So her second home like Allison did!SO is not some quick fix.We are all living this thing called life.Sometimes we fall but the trick is to get back up dust ourselves off and learn from our mistakes.This can certainly be a challenge.Best wishes Kim.
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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-21-06, 06:30 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Kim was so flippy, one day she was so sweet and caringand the next day she would be ranting and raving, on and on about how right she was about something. Like the bathroom door incident.At Kellys graduation, she should not have even gone up to the podium, she should have just let bygones be bygones, but she just had to get up there and say that she was in the right all along. How is she going to act when something really major in her life happens when she cant even let the little, petty things slide by. I really dont see her marriage lasting, unless her husband is a saint. I do like Kim though for some strange reason and I hope only the best for her.
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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-21-06, 06:40 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
She's GOING!!!!! YAY!!!! After this last bit of "Kim's World", I've had about all I can stomach of the woman. She needs some more professional help, and try to make it LONG TERM... Cya, buh-bye, luv ya, mean it.
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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-21-06, 09:12 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Kim I WILL miss YOU!I loved you on the show-You are such a GREAT person-I hope you read this board-!Have a WONDERFUL life !P.S.-Dont give kelly your number OR address!PEACE AT YA
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Gizelle 6 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-21-06, 10:16 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Kim, you're great!! You told off that B___ch....she so deserved it!!!! Good Luck.....
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BeeBe 41 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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04-22-06, 00:41 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I know! I wish at least one person would have whispered in Kim's ear on the show, you really told Kelly, and you were right! Instead it's, golly gee, how could you do it Kim? Kim deserves a graduation and major kudos because she has worked harder and had more to overcome than most of the ladies on the show ever have. She has a family and a job and friends, and after what she survived she could have ended up a hopeless addict or a completely isolated human being or an abusive and mean person, and it would have been completely understandable why she became that. But she didn't. And she knew she needed help and went out to get it. She will need counseling still and I don;t know if the show should have taken her on in the first place with all the problems and baggage she had, but they did a lot with her and I hope she puts it to good use. YAY KIM!!
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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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04-22-06, 11:05 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
BeeBe ~ I agree completely with your post. I actually think Kelly *deserved* even more from Kim than she got. But for Kim's sake, with editing being what it is on this show and knowing what always happens when Kim opens her mouth in this house, I wish she could have said it in a way that Kelly definitly would have gotten the message but no one could pinpoint exactly where the speech was off base. Actually, I think Kelly is an expert at taking jabs, making digs, and cutting another down in ways that everyone knows is part of her evil intent but, tho you can call her out for some of her comments, she can sometimes wiggle out by giving a different meaning than you know she intended. Actually, Kelly's response to Kim's graduation comments were very much a snap back at Kim. Kelly just put her's in a more cleaverly disguised package. Kim's intent was never to attack, hurt or destroy someone like Kelly continually did. Kim's problems came as a result of trying to keep herself out of trouble ... something she had to do to survive her childhood. Kim deserves to graduate with honors. Is she fixed? No, of courses not. No one is when they leave SO, even when it really was a "House of Healing" ... not a "House of Gossip". They are suposed to leave understanding more about why they ended up down a path where they didn't want to be and what steps could get them on a path they do want. When they get home they have to begin the real work. Even 4 years of college doesn't give you the information and knowledge you need for a specific job. College gives you a basic understanding of an area and teaches you how to learn. When you land that job, that's when you begin learning how to do that job. A couple of months in the SOH house could never make someone over into a new person even if the LCs & Dr.Stan were all doing their jobs. Based on the abuse Kim was forced to endure during her time in the SOH, I'm amazed she learned even as much as she did. I blame the LCs & the "powers that be" for giving her the opportunity to heal then basically setting her up in this lions den, knowing with Kim's background and issues, the lions would attack, triggering Kim's survival instincts. They knew if they combined the right women, gave little direction, and allowed them too much idle time, their true colors would drive the drama & gossip ... apparently what they were looking for this season. What they did this year to any of the women that honestly came looking for help was nothing short of cruel. What they did to Kim was down right criminal. Kim lived her life surviving abuse, blame, and attack for even the slightest percieved infraction. She didn't need to be set up in a similar situation just so the producers could get something for themselves. Kim isn't perfect and she will always have a difficult road ahead unlearning a completely different way of thinking. But the fact that she survived ANOTHER time of blame, attack, and abuse is tribute to her strength and ability to learn what she can even in a bad situation. She came seeking help to be the best she can for herself and her family. She wants to give Jax the life she never had and protect him from the things she had to endure. I hope she got a good start from SO but I hope she never stops learning. Someday she will realizes she no longer has to protect herself from blame and abuse, but her stay at SO did nothing to relieve those fears. Kudos Kim!
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DolphinDreamer 3 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-22-06, 05:29 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
>>Based on the abuse Kim was >forced to endure during her >time in the SOH, I'm >amazed she learned even as >much as she did. >I blame the LCs & >the "powers that be" for >giving her the opportunity to >heal then basically setting her >up in this lions den, >knowing with Kim's background and >issues, the lions would attack, >triggering Kim's survival instincts. I agree with you. Imagine Kim growing up in a house (year after year) where a negative comment from her Dad might be a warning that physical abuse is about to occur--abuse that to a child would seem to be life threatening. So she goes to SO house to find a "safe and supportive" environment to heal in and who have the producers put in the house but someone like Kelly who is constantly looking for someone to get angry at and bully and is just plain mean a lot of the time. Great TV but what a set up. So Kim get's traumatized all over again, and nothing is really done to help her deal with the irrational fear of physical harm she is experiencing deep inside from Kelly attacking her. Just listening to some of the things Kelly said about Kim on the phone made me shiver.
Maybe it's like a predator/prey thing--Kim smells like a wounded animal (in spite of her attempts to cover up how she feels inside) and any predator type will instantly be drawn to her like a magnet. The help Kim received with her communication skills was a big plus for her and I think her awareness of this issue increased, but sweeping the abuse and scapegoating she experienced at SO house under the rug (as if she deserved it because of her poor communication skills) was a disservice to her. On some level it may have confirmed her fear that she deserved the original abuse and that the world is not a safe place. Just seeing how disoriented she's feeling about graduating is another indication of how poorly her case is being handled. They're telling her she's progressed enough to graduate, but it feels like a lie, even to some of us (especially after being chastised for inappropriate communication and then told in isolation that she's graduating) Do they even care if she feels ready? Personally I would like to have seen how Kim developed once the monster Kelly was out of the house. Perhaps Kim would have been more accepted by the other HG's and relaxed into a greater state of self acceptance.
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sm2 130 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-22-06, 07:55 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Baxtera, I was just going to post that of all the places in the house, she just HAD to use that bathroom to draw her self-portrait. (sp?) She must really be in love with that room....
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standinmytruth 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-22-06, 09:26 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
i think because there is a mirror, chair and vanity top to write. i bet all the HGs have done their new self portraits in there but only show kim because of the kelly fight
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DivineWine 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-23-06, 11:27 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I think Kim has such complex problems, I wish her only the best in her life. She at least had a chance to know what it's like to have "friends" by being in the house (the ups & downs), so she at least got a taste of what having "sisters" & feuds & quarrels & compromising is like.....more normal than her childhood ever was. I think she will be a better mom to Jax, she at least has seen compassion & how other women deal with problems. Good Luck Kim, You deserve the best in life. May the rest of your life be filled with as much peace & love as the 1st part was filled with pain & rejection.
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BeeBe 41 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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04-24-06, 00:48 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
">>Based on the abuse Kim was >forced to endure during her >time in the SOH, I'm >amazed she learned even as >much as she did. >I blame the LCs & >the "powers that be" for >giving her the opportunity to >heal then basically setting her >up in this lions den, >knowing with Kim's background and >issues, the lions would attack, >triggering Kim's survival instincts. I agree with you. Imagine Kim growing up in a house (year after year) where a negative comment from her Dad might be a warning that physical abuse is about to occur--abuse that to a child would seem to be life threatening. So she goes to SO house to find a "safe and supportive" environment to heal in and who have the producers put in the house but someone like Kelly who is constantly looking for someone to get angry at and bully and is just plain mean a lot of the time. Great TV but what a set up. So Kim get's traumatized all over again, and nothing is really done to help her deal with the irrational fear of physical harm she is experiencing deep inside from Kelly attacking her. Just listening to some of the things Kelly said about Kim on the phone made me shiver. Maybe it's like a predator/prey thing--Kim smells like a wounded animal (in spite of her attempts to cover up how she feels inside) and any predator type will instantly be drawn to her like a magnet. The help Kim received with her communication skills was a big plus for her and I think her awareness of this issue increased, but sweeping the abuse and scapegoating she experienced at SO house under the rug (as if she deserved it because of her poor communication skills) was a disservice to her. On some level it may have confirmed her fear that she deserved the original abuse and that the world is not a safe place. Just seeing how disoriented she's feeling about graduating is another indication of how poorly her case is being handled. They're telling her she's progressed enough to graduate, but it feels like a lie, even to some of us (especially after being chastised for inappropriate communication and then told in isolation that she's graduating) Do they even care if she feels ready? Personally I would like to have seen how Kim developed once the monster Kelly was out of the house. Perhaps Kim would have been more accepted by the other HG's and relaxed into a greater state of self acceptance." Agree with you both so much! And then what did they do? In addition to the rabid kelly, they sprung Melinda on Kim, without her knowledge or consent, in the middle of the place she was supposed to feel safe to heal - and they directed almost as much effort at Melinda as Kim during that period. Such a betrayal of Kim's trust. I think that little ratings-grab arrested Kim's healing right there.
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2KOOL 0 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "New Member"
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04-24-06, 10:46 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I am so glad to see somebody who has been able to endure the negativity she endured while in the house finally be able to graduate. IMO she was the one who was alwsys picked to make an example out of. I am not saying that Kim didn't have issues like everyone else. I really saw her time on SO as the one to see if they can break her because she wasn't present and was so in control of things around her. I think that Kim has raised the bar to what type of person SO can bring into the house and help. If they remain on the air I doubt they will EVER have another person like Kim to come back into the house. Therefore I say great wishes Kim and Good Luck!!
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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"
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04-24-06, 08:31 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
Her bad showing at Kelly's graduation and then her reactions to her surprising graduation makes me sad. I've had trouble watching this lately. I was skeptical she could accomplish much in a couple of months. Her story when entering the house, her way of telling it, her way of interacting with people when they arrived, and the way they reacted to her had an incredible number of similarities to my life. I was amazed and sat back and waited for her progress to unfold. We don't have identical background stories or exact behaviors but there are incredibly many similarities. One that I recognize that I act as though I have propeller blades constantly in motion around my head when people say anything. Everything sounds like painful criticism. I also have a lot of trouble connecting and I probably talk way too much. I'd probably explain, explain, explain something if somebody was mad at me to attempt to clear things up and stop their madness. I don't know what people say behind my back though. I wonder if people see me as evil. I think I'm doing everything I can to avoid a fight. Who knows? It's been quite a ride seeing the variety of reactions to how people read Kim on the show and here on the message boards.I caught myself in an interview the other day recounting something that happened in 7th grade - in detail -- and laughed about it later when I saw a post about Kim holding grudges about Kelly for something that happened a couple weeks ago. I really think it comes from years of knowing you'll be severly punished if anything is a fraction of an inch out of place or if anything you ever say isn't in the least consistent with something else. You spend about 15 of your formative years mentally rehearsing and practicing reciting things over and over because you better not ever get things wrong. It's a survival skill that is honed to perfection. You get a tremendous memory. And I've been getting help and have been improving for the last 20 years. It takes time to even see what's wrong, learn how the world works, and truly incorporate the necessary changes. Kim has done some amazing things considering her background. She hasn't pulled it all together but I really was surprised that she managed to finish college, hold a job, marry, and have a child. I mean, I've met therapists who ask if they can shake my hand and say they haven't met people with my background who've lived past 30 and aren't addicted to anything. It makes me rethink a day when I didn't say the right things or didn't get out of the house, you know. You have to keep things in perspective. I've also seen graduation through those propeller blades, knowing I'm finished with that program but unable to see that I accomplished anything. That sounded familiar, too. I have to admit I don't know if I've seen Kim for herself at all. Her similarities are way to close to my own. When she's behaved in ways that are different than mine I've wondered is that because she's different or is it something I do but deny. I really don't know. I wish her well.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-25-06, 08:21 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
One of my issues with Kim has been she uses her survival as a reason/excuse for all her nastiness. She holds up her successes and uses her past as a badge of courage for what she has achieved and then equally uses it as a pass for her nastiness. If she has been able to overcome her past to make a present than she is also able to work on the things she does that cause pain to others. As someone who had a tough childhood one thing I am aware of is how my actions and words can cut deeply into other people. It's not that I don't ever do it but I'm also aware of what I choose to do and I take responsiblity for my actions because I do know how it feels to be on the receiving end. Kim of all people knows what it's like to be abused and now uses that power. I do worry for her husband and son because she is so deeply in denial and projects all of her negative attibutes on to others that I wonder if she will ever acknowledge when she is the abuser.
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katmac 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-25-06, 03:12 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Kim's Graduating! YAY!!!" |
I think Kim has learned a lot in the SO house, but it is only the beginning for her. I have a very similar background as her, so similar it's almost eerie, my mother left when I was very young, and my dad was extremely emotionally dysfunctional and I grew up quite sheltered and full of guilt. So I have always felt for Kim from day one and liked her, maybe because I get it. I get the isolating, the need to be understood, the feelings of no one loving her, the communication problems. That's all been me too to a point. And I also know that 2-3 months in the SO house is NOT going to fix her. It's called Starting Over, it's a beginning, a foundation, not the end of the journey. My journey has been going on for over 20 years now. You don't fix 20+ years of an abusive childhood in 2-3 months. It takes a total reprogramming of your mind and beliefs and automatic reactions and behavior that was learned in all those years. And that takes a long time. I believed Kim worked harder than anyone I've seen in the SO house and really wants to get it, and I see huge change in her, maybe not so much on the outside but I can tell it is starting to sink in. She has taken huge risks and faced hard stuff. I am glad she is graduating, she deserves it. No, she is not fixed, and yes there will be hard times ahead, but she will get there.
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