Sorry this is so late! I was out of town for the holiday weekend...TARGAY Journal, Week Six
By Larry Johnson
By popular request, this is my SHORT weekly column on The Amazing Race 4, reminiscent of my critically-lauded series entitled Gay Survivor Journal. It will be posted here every weekend, and is a Basherboard exclusive! For more reality-TV rants, check my website at http://www.gaycomedyjournals.com
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Tian’s assessment of Jaree’s running skills (“You can’t make a dog with three legs run faster.”) was particularly harsh. I’m not sure I completely understand the metaphor, but I think she called Jaree a three-legged b.itch.
FASHION CITATION
Normally I’d applaud basic black, but pale Chuck looked particularly nerdy (and overheated) this week in his all-black ensemble. The baggy black shorts, tight black long-sleeved shirt, and dark grey tennis shoes were unflattering and temperature-inappropriate, and the black socks were a glaring fashion violation. And the whole thing looked particularly bad covered in fish-juice.
LOOK OF THE WEEK
Reichen and Chip seem to corner the market in this category! This week they looked stylishly casual in Gap-Summer-Line attire, Chip in a fitted olive V-neck T and khaki cargo shorts, and Reichen in a white fitted V-neck and olive cargo shorts. Some people might find it nauseating how they dress to match, but I for one think it’s adorable.
CULTURALLY INSENSIVITE QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Jon (to the cab driver in India): “Rapidito!”
Al (in response): “Rapidito doesn’t mean ‘fast’ in every language.”
Note to Jon and Al: ‘Rapidito’ actually doesn’t mean fast in ANY language, but certainly not Hindu.
HONORABLE MENTION QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Chip (excited, to Reichen): “Honey, we’re gonna wash some clothes!”
It sounds like they lead a pretty dull social life.
Kelly (after being splashed by Indian water): “Oh, now I’m gonna get diarrhea.”
I really didn’t need to hear that, Kelly, thanks.
Tian (about the train ride): “I’ve never had my ass pinched so much in my life.”
Wow. That’s really saying a lot.
BEST QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Jaree (while on the train): “Somebody just grabbed my boob, man. Don’t grab my boob, dude, or I’ll throw you off the train.”
DIVA OF THE WEEK
Diva Millie wins the DOW award again this week, this time for a true Diva moment on the streets of Mumbai. In tears, she assessed the squalor of India, proclaiming: “If I win the money I would love to come back to a place like this and help those kids.” Notice how centered she is in the frame, and how well lit she is at this moment. Another stirring performance by the Blessed Virgin Millie.
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