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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10"
Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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11-30-05, 00:45 AM (EST)
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"Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-30-05 AT 00:52 AM (EST)Welcome, Racers, to the Simon Bar Sinister Ranch: 
Or whatever this is called. (I've heard about these weird groups that live out here.) Anyway. I? Live for these superlegs. I know the viewers can't stand these episodes, but I lvoe them. The sight of seeing you Weavers and Bransens running pell-mell toward me, only to be disillusioned when I give you another clue, is breathtaking. Didn't you watch the India leg last season? Where do I begin? Wally. At the railroad, you proved you have a place on this team. WTG! And you're losing your gut. See what you would have missed if you had Ostened, Weavers? The chance to dance with glee around the Linzes. Your crash landing in the balloon. Rachel and Rebecca excelling at the roundup. Umpteen more references to the Desperate Housewives. And watching the Linzes sink to last place because of another battery boo-boo. (Bruck, can we get Sears DieHard as a sponsor next time?) Which brings me to you, Linzes. You're drawing closer in the Really Immature Race, but the Weavers still have you by a head. And Godlewskis. Do I have to send you each to a corner of your trailer? Or, better yet, make you turn it around on a highway again? Weren't we clever making Old Faithful a bunch point? And why would most of you not recognized it unless you (or Snidget) backed into it? Now gidaddahere before I break into Roy Rogers tunes. Only those who have signed up in the signup thread may post as a Racer. Others may participate by posting as a non-Racer, e.g. a balloon pilot, a train engineer, a ranch hand, a park employee, the firefighter at Old Faithful, a cameraperson or sound tech, or others. Or even as yourself, addressing the Racers. Be creative! Philiminated racers can adopt these or other personas, or post from Sequesterville.Remember: this is NOT a discussion thread, but a role-playing one. And Bystander . . . oh, hell, we can't stop him as Rolly posting elsewhere; we can only hope to contain him. Have fun! 
Okay, so the Old Faithful bunch point was lame. Sue us.
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Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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11-30-05, 09:43 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Come on Phil, where's our prize and kudos for getting to the mat first? I manhandled those railroad ties and navigated the team expertly, and all I get is a "This leg is not over-- here's your next clue..." and a chance to start the next leg with a 0 minute lead over the Florida team and a 92 minute lead over the Godlewskis and Linzes?
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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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11-30-05, 11:00 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Hey!! I'm channelling James (from BB6)!! I called my brother DUMBASS!!!! Can you believe that my STUPID brother gets done in three strokes?? Guess sex (and railroad spikes) are individual sports. Well, at least he gets his even if his special friend doesn't get hers. I can't believe how the SUV get so filled with testosterone that I get sick to my stomach. I better buy shares in Pepto-Bismol.
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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12-01-05, 03:40 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Our secret's out. My sweet daughter failed math -- twice. How? I don't know. I tutored that girl every day. I taught her that 2 squared is 0, because that's the number that looks most like a square. I told her that numbers that aren't rational are of the devil. I'm looking your way, pi. And how to do the 8s times table by counting on your fingers.But it was nice to see Old Faithful. Kids, did you know that geysers are actually baby volcanoes? When you heat water enough, it turns into lava. And that's how the Great Wall of China was made. Which is actually in Upper Mongolia, don't you know. *sigh* Back to racing. I'll save the lessons for my students, I guess. 
And kids? If you missed the reference, Simon Bar Sinister was from a famous cartoon show -- "Under God," about the history of our Pledge of Allegiance.
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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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12-01-05, 04:11 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Big surprise-your daughter failed Math twice. You can tell she missed the chapters on measuring-she wears clothes that are 3 sizes to small. Trying to fit 10 pounds of sh!t in a 5 pound sack. She had trouble with the word problems, didn't she?? Of course, you can't possibly imagine how she managed to fail. Wonder what her ACT scores will be. Maybe she is smart enough to know that she is not smart enough to go to college and she skipped those tests altogether. If you want, me and my brothers can tutor her-we know that you are not bright enough and the Lord must have sent you to us......
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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12-01-05, 05:04 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
LAST EDITED ON 12-01-05 AT 05:05 PM (EST)I do know two numbers, darling -- 8 and 9. That's Ditch 9 in the 8th circle of hell, ye sowers of discord, where you and your brothers will be eternally damned to be ripped apart, put back together again and ripped apart again. The wicked Bransen sisters will not be far away, in Ditch 1, where the seducers will spend eternity running while being whipped by demons. The Godlewskis, meanwhile, will be in Circle 2. Say hi to Francesca da Rimini for me!
Speaking of which -- I saw Margurite on the Tonight Show. When's my booking, Jay?
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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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12-01-05, 05:15 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
I guess you don't know the number 3 then-you know father, son, and holy ghost??How about 12 (can you count into double digits??) as in disciples?? Come to think of it, how about 10-as in the commandments.
I think that in your case abortion should not just be legal, but mandatory. I hope you have tied your tubes because you look like you spend alot of time in bars-you got that hungry drunken sailor look goin' on and the world doesn't need any more accidents than the three you have inflicted on it already.
Got contrception?? More important-do your daughters???
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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-05, 11:07 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Careful, Megs! That wicked witch will put a spell on ya. Seriously, I know where the girl ran into problems in math. Her mom read, "Pi R square" and she said, "No, they're not! Pie are round!" 
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Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
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12-01-05, 07:52 PM (EST)
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8. "Mr. Exposition Hands Speaks!" |
(Since being Big Brother over here would just be stupid.)Folks, folks, folks...please remember that this is supposed to be fun. There's bashing, and then there's mean-spirited hateful speech. This isn't the place to get into attacks on politics, religion, and that sort of thing. Y'all are more creative than that. True bashers don't have to cop out like that.
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Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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12-02-05, 09:02 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Wow, this thread sure is quiet when there are no Godlewskis around!
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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12-02-05, 02:28 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
I might be a witch, but I am hotter than Bea Arthur, right?That? Is so not saying much.
But you do have a Flying Monkey-Boy.
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bystander 4968 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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12-02-05, 04:24 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
But you do have a Flying Monkey-Boy. Sorry Phil, I'll be Meggie's Flying Monkey Boy but I won't be yours. I may be able to bat with either hand but I don't swing That way!
Although your Oobies are nuthin to sneeze at!
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ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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12-02-05, 08:09 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Dear TAR families,We profusely apologize for draining your batteries with our camera equipment. We are, however, here for one thing only and that is to get footage to show our wonderful viewers what awful people you are. ...and to whichever one of you who said the Weavers are paying us to get revenge for being yielded? That just cannot be true. Mr. Bruckheimer would never allow it! Neither would Phil. Nor would CBS. This race needs to be won fair and square, ya know! Oh? What's that you say? You should be given a time credit? Well, you know, things happen. Would you expect a time credit if you got a flat tire? ...or if the trailer somehow came unhitched and went careening into a ditch? NO! You would just be given a replacement vehicle. That's our rule for when your vehicle becomes incapacitiated through no fault of your own. ...and hey, you all signed those contracts, didn't you?!?! So I implore you to quit your whining and just run the freaking race! Just think of all the teams who are now stuck in sequesterville! You are still in it and still have a chance at the million dollars ferchristsakes! Sincerely, The Production Crew
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Ryan DeMaster 228 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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12-03-05, 02:03 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Dear Production Crew,Get your heads out of your @$$es and stop draining teams' batteries. You said it yourself - THERE'S A MILLION DOLLARS ON THE LINE, and the Race needs to be won fair and square, not because of some production mistake. Sincerely, (unintelligible)
President
Fans' Union for a Better Amazing Race
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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-05, 02:49 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
HEAR HEAR!!!!!BRAVO! 
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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
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12-03-05, 09:52 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Hey all, you should hear what those filthy Weasels are saying about all of you. If my walls could only talk!Godlewskis, Ma and the girls are constantly talking about your fake oobies. Really they are jealous and wondering where you got yours. Rolly on the other hand has been having wet dreams about all your oobies. He was in the bathroom last night talking out loud about them. They also said you’re all going to hell cause you’ve defiled your body temples with fake body parts. Linzes,they actually put a spell on you guys. They all sat in a circle and prayed real hard to Jesus that you guys would fall into the fiery pit of hell that is called Old Faithful. Oh and once again, Megan, Rolly was drooling about you in the bathroom again. I really wish Rolly would just do his normal business in there and get out. I’m REALY gonna hafta get fumigated after this. Bransens,yeah, as nice as you are, they talk about you too. Wally, Ma Weasel actually has the hots for you and loved it that you finally stepped up to the plate and did a man’s job at the railroad road block. She prays every night that you’ll come over to me at night and have a cup of tea or more. She’s been sooo lonely. And Rolly, he’s been eying you girls for a long time. He’s in the bathroom AGAIN! The girls have been calling you be-atches constantly cause they’re jealous. You have nice thin bodies and you’re good looking and nice, and they have no clothes that fit. They’ve been hoping that you’ll trip or fall or something. I can’t wait for this to be over so that I can get cleaned up. These people are making me sick. My walls are starting to melt. Don’t take no crap from them, The Weasel’s Trailer 
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bystander 4968 desperate attention whore postings
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12-05-05, 09:38 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
<Walks out of bathroom and shuts door>Mom, I really like that our trailer has a bathroom!
But we need more towels.
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warp_core breach 469 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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12-05-05, 11:13 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer Family Edition (BARFE) - Ep. 10" |
Please, you don't know what you're asking of me. Please don't make me do it. Good television? You've got to be kidding, right? Please, I beg of you... reconsider. You're going to make me do it, aren't you? (*sulks off*) (*muttering*)I tell ya, this job just doesn't pay enough...
Weaver Camera Man - Speaking with the Production Crew about getting a close-up shot of the Weaver girls climbing onto their horses.
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