Just a little something to whet your appetities while waiting for the episode summaries - they'll be posted this weekend, Monday at the latest.
Hi, and welcome! If you’re reading this, you’re probably a new visitor to RTW. There’s a lot to digest – princesses and Popes, Bashers and OT, SOTS and Not Sos. But most of all, Episode Summaries. Yep, Episode Summaries are the creamy goodness at the center of the RTW experience, and you’re (if you are a newbie) probably wondering what they are and where they came from. Good questions, and I’m going to try to answer them for you.
Fun Fact 1: Not everyone here is so helpful, but most are. If you ever need anything explained, find Shakes the Clown and ask him. He’s a font of knowledge for newcomers! Remember, there’s no such thing as a stupid question when you’re asking Shakes the Clown something!
So what’s an episode summary? Why, it’s a summary of an episode! Wasn’t that easy? But seriously, an episode summary is a description of what happened during an episode. Many people lead busy busy lives, and can’t find the time to watch every episode of a TV series. Other’s have what is known as “taste” and can’t be bothered to watch some shows. Thus the episode summary, a handy tool that allows people to read about what they don’t have the time to watch. And in the case of a Landru episode summary, sometimes it takes longer to read the summary than it takes to watch the show! What fun!
Fun Fact 2: Landru is the devil. No really!
But where do episode summaries come from? Well, it all began back in the mid-1920s with two young boys named Webby and Ayak. One day, these two discovered that their classmates didn’t have the time to read every pulp comic that was published. Sensing a market in need of filling, Webby and Ayak recruited a group of kids to help them summarize what was happening. These “Comic Summaries” as they came to be known were sold to their classmates at a penny a piece. That group of kids became known as the Blue Peeps, because their hands would often turn blue from the ink in their pens. The original Blue Peeps were Sleeeve, Ice Dog, Bebo, and Sherps.
A picture from a Blue Peeps staff meeting. Not present - Ice Dog.
Fun Fact 3: Ice Dog later had an operation in his native Canada and became Ice Cat. Those crazy, pesky, permissive Canadians!
Ice Dog then.
The Comic Summary business began booming, as overextended Americans began buying Summaries on credit. It all came crashing down when the depression struck. Unable to make ends meet, Webby and Ayak realized they had to let most of the Blue Peeps go, keeping only Bebo on staff because of the four Blue Peeps, she was the one who looked the best in a skirt. (It was a close competition with Sherps, though.) Suddenly though, a new idea occurred. Since most Americans were too broke to afford a movie, the Comic Summaries business could become the Movie Summaries business. With this shift in focus, the Blue Peeps were able to be kept together, and all throughout the Great Depression, while people were leaping from buildings everywhere, Webby, Ayak, and the Blue Peeps prospered.
Fun Fact 4: A short-lived venture during this time was the Suicide Summaries, where the Blue Peeps wrote about the businessmen that killed themselves that week!
Throughout the intervening years, the Summary Crew was able to reinvent themselves several times, summarizing WWII newsreel footage in the 40s, HUAC hearings in the 50s, and TV shows in the 60s. But the 70s and 80s saw little to summarize. TV had become too rote – most people could guess for themselves exactly what was going to happen at any given moment in any given TV show. Business dried up, funds were spent on foolish expenditures, the Blue Peeps were let go, and the Summary Mansion sold to an up and coming magazine publisher from Chicago. Hard times. Hard times indeed. Things looked bleak for our heroes. Could anything save them?
Fun Fact 5: Many of the Blue Peeps had to do disgusting and degrading things to earn income while they were unemployed!
By the 90s, Webby and Ayak had made several vain attempts to redefine themselves. But several trends during that decade were coming together that would make for their return to the top. First, the appearance of Reality TV shows signaled the return of TV that wasn’t formulaic and easily predictable. Second, falling prices for personal computers meant any moron with money in their pocket could buy a computer and get online. Webby and Ayak knew from their years in the business that nothing brought out advertisers like morons with money in their pockets, and where advertisers went, advertising dollars soon followed. Or followed first. It gets confusing. So they started RTW, called the old gang together, and the Blue Peeps rode again!
Webby and Ayak today.
Fun Fact 6: There is no Fun Fact 6!
Which brings us to today, and the inaugural American Idol summary. We’ve never summarized AI here at RTW, so this is new for all of us. I’m sure you’ve got loads of questions. Let’s see if we can anticipate some of them!
Q: Who do you folks think you are? If you had any real talent, you’d be participants in these shows instead of talking about them.
A: Many of us have been participants. Buggy is the winner of Survivor: Texas. Team Joisey was a participant in The Amazing Race Down The Turnpike. And I of course was the winner of the first American Idol, holding my crown until it was revealed I had won by sleeping with Paula, Simon, Randy, and, quite frankly, a good portion of the American viewing public. When my cheating had been discovered, the Spectre blocked the memory from everyone’s mind so none of you remember it happening. Which is also why I never called even though I said I would.
Q: Okay, but why do you have to be so hurtful? Why do you have to make fun? Why be a hater?
A: Yes, we kid a lot here. But we kid because we love. We love to kid! When someone steps into a public forum and makes an ##### of themselves, we like to let people know! But we also praise those that do well. Sometimes we even praise willingly instead of grudgingly!
Q: I’m not afraid of any of you, and I’m not afraid of any Blue Peep.
A: Whoa there Sparky. That’s not a question. But you don’t want to cross Bebo. She’ll cut you if you don’t follow the guidelines. She’ll cut you..
Fun Fact 7: Bebo’s evil!
Well that’s it. Once again, welcome to the Episode Summaries of RTW. Sit down awhile and enjoy yourself – you’ll be glad you did!
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
It's a Syren.
Soylent Green: recycling America, one person at a time.
