LAST EDITED ON 04-16-04 AT 06:25 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 04-16-04 AT 04:40 AM (EST)

KATHY, YOU WERE ROBBED AGAIN

Welcome to Survivor Insider, where if you lost the first time because of an exposed boob, you can lose this time to two boobs and a boob-brain.

A FEW NOTES:

1) All archives of the Insider are available at Survivor Network, where you can find them on my spoiler page (an ode to TrueDorkTimes) http://www.londyscreations.com/survivornetwork/spoilers.asp
Thanks to Larry Londy for the web space.

2) If you want just the transcript, SurvivorFever.net posts it, minus hilarious commentary, in a few days.

3) It seems like such a lackluster week. Maybe because it's playoff time, and the Wings (and soon to be Pistons) make work busy busy.

4) Thanks to all those who support me in this thread. It takes about 3 hours to do a transcript, and I enjoy the comments, good or bad. Remember, I do this FOR FUN. Though, if you diss me, I will come after you like Tom crashing through timber.

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING
-- KATHY BOOTED
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Markopolo's note: What a boring episode. At least Apprentice was a surprise. Even worse, this clip is almost impossible to hear. The background music and bass drowns out the voices. It stinks. I really am interested in what Shii Ann says. Too bad CBS screwed up the sound and you can't hear it. What good is Survivor Insider if you can't hear it. Oh wait, it's free now, so I won't complain. I used to PAY $10 bucks a month for crappy sound in the clips.

Shii Ann (votes Amber): Amber, I'm voting for you, because not only did you lie to our tribe, (?????can't hear her at all). So, good move on your part, unfortunately, I have to cast this vote against you.

Amber (votes Kathy): Just going with the plan, anddddd that's about it.

(I HATE AMBER MORE THAN EVER. NOW THAT THE APPRENTICE GIRLS ARE ON FHM, I REALLY HAVE NO USE FOR AMBER OTHER THAN MAKING JOKES ABOUT HER HOMETOWN OF BEAVER, PENN., WHICH IS NEAR BEAVER STADIUM AND PENN STATE, WHERE JOE PATERNO IS SO OLD, HE WOULDN'T KNOW A BEAVER IF IT BUMPED INTO HIM)

Rob (votes Kathy): Kathy, let me tell ya something. The other day, when you went around telling everybody that I can't be trusted, and at home I'm disloyal to my friends. You made a big mistake. You have no idea what I'm like at home. I'm probably the most loyal person you've ever met. I have to credit ya for trying, but you didn't honestly think I was gonna let you win.

(FUNNY HOW WE DIDN'T SEE ANY NEGATIVE EDITING OF KATHY)

Kathy (votes Amber): Amber, same old vote. You really ticked me off the way you handled it all, ya know that? I think you could have handled it with a lot different attitude. (I THINK KATHY IS REFERRING TO AMBER'S REACTION TO HER TWO VOTES). And how about tonight? C’mon, you weren't going to get voted out tonight? Give me a break. You need to play a new game or else you're not going to make it. See ya later.

Rupert (votes Kathy): Kathy, I'm sorry..... (Can't hear him) ... But I'm sticking with my alliance. They have shown me that they are loyal to me. I'm not going to betray them, even if it hurts me.

(THIS IS WHERE MB NEEDS TO BRING DONALD TRUMP ON THE SHOW AND SAY, "YOU'RE FIRED!" RUPERT IS SO BORING AND BLAND. IS THERE ANY SURVIVOR OF WHICH YOU ARE MORE SICK?)

Alicia (votes Kathy): You knew this was coming tonight. And I know you're not ready to leave the game. But you came into a merge on a tribe with a strong alliance. You're next in the pecking order. The only reason why you're coming up before Shii Ann is because the longer you stay around, the more dangerous you become. We respect that. We know that we have to get rid of you first.

Big Tom (votes Kathy): Kathy, tonight I'm voting for you, yes. There's Richard, Colby and Ethan, there's a lot of players that you voted off. And (you're???) one of the top players here. I didn't want to be one of them. So I had to get rid of you to save me. See ya baby.

(TOM, ANOTHER BIG UNDERACHIEVER THIS GAME BOTH IN STRATEGY AND ENTERTAINMENT)

Jenna L (votes Kathy): This vote tonight is out of respect. You are a great competitor and you could this win this game. And that's why you have to go. And this is self-preservation. I have an alliance I need to stay with. You're a great person.

(JENNA IS LIKE A CHEERLEADER, MINUS THE HOT, FRISKY SIDE. ALL THAT IS LEFT IS THE ANNOYING, PERKY OPTIMISM. WORTHLESS.)

..
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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF LEX
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BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!

-- Roll out of bed, go to kitchen.
-- Ask gut, "What shall it be, fruity pebbles or lucky charms?"
-- Gut tells you that you aren't Jeff Varner nor Orangeena. Lucky charms it is!
-- Call Ethan. Tell him that his mother is going to die tomorrow. (You just want to let him know before it happens -- as a friend of course)
-- Work on children's book with Madonna. Children everywhere wonder, "Who the heck is Madonna?" (When was her last hit? The Dark Ages?).
-- Call members of Survivor Africa cast. Check how many women have piercings. Make sure it's right; you wouldn't want to lose another million, would you?
-- Check mailbox. Some company has targeted you with a credit card offer with a tantalizing APR. You must snuff out what company dared to give your address away.
-- Call 1,000 companies screaming. Decide that it must be Kelly Tires (instead of the obvious CBS).
-- Take gun and shoot through local Kelly Tires store.
-- Go to local barber. Get mohawk. Now you are as cool as that idiot Abram on RW/Road Rules Challenge. He gets chicks like Veronica. How dope is that?
-- Hang out with punk rockers, be a total nonconformist. Man, you're so cool.
-- Start writing a letter to Big Tom. Oops, small words and writing in crayon is difficult. Better call him. ... Warn him to stop humping the sheep. And no, Tom, the sheep do not look like Lindsey's #####.
-- Rip off a few friends in business deals. "Hey, it's just business." But when one of them screws you with the Denny's bill, scream bloody murder.
-- Go to tattoo parlor. Get "Friends Forever" tattoo. Wasn't Zack Attack a great band? If only they were real.
-- Call Mariano's cell phone. Make stabbing sounds with knife in background. Hang up quickly. Tee hee!
-- Gut tells you to logon to Survivor message boards.
-- Oh look! Markopolo is calling you a wuss in his Insider transcripts. Gut tells you to send Markopolo some white powder in an envelope.
-- Gut says to check out Survivor scorecard. Damn, still thumbs down.
-- It's time to do something big, something no one will expect. "I'm going to watch an ABC sitcom."
-- Oh boy, it's getting late.
-- You're ready for bed when Heidi Strobel from Amazon calls. She can't figure out how long to cook minute rice. (Boy, this could take all night).

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KATHY THE DAY AFTER
6 min : 52 sec
------------------------

Markopolo's note: Wow, almost seven minutes of Kathy, and unlike EVERY other Survivor exit interview, this one is a pleasure to listen to. Kathy is an amazing player, an amazing person, and she has a fantastic outlook. Some of her quotes are perfect analyses of the game.

Kathy (day-after): I think the game was difficult physically, number one, but I could handle it and a lot of the players could handle it. But physically, this game was harder than the last one. When I analyzed the players at Mogo Mogo, and I knew they all knew how to play the game, I was actually surprised a lot of them didn't get it.

(FINALLY A BREATH OF FRESH AIR! KATHY REALIZES WHY THIS SEASON SUCKS SO MUCH!)

They were either coming back with a different strategy, which I think was a mistake, and I could read the players. I was actually happy and relieved that some of the players weren't playing well, whether it was Richard Hatch. I think Richard Hatch was playing a slower game because maybe the first Survivor was slower. And it was fascinating that Jenna, from Amazon, was playing a fast game. Too much negotiating too fast. (WOW, INTERESTING) So, I was actually applauding the situation and excited that no one was tuning it up, even Colby and Ethan. If I had to go out and play the game by myself, I was going to be successful at it. I was treating it more as a business negotiation when I started. I knew the game was going to be Day 1, and it WAS on our tribe. Bigger than I expected. I didn't think we were going to have to build alliances in the first five hours. (BOY, I WISH THEY SHOWED THIS MORE. THEY KIND OF HINTED AT IT AS A RED HERRING THOUGH)

CUT

But overall, I was relieved that I knew I could go to the end and win it because the players were not as up as high as I thought they would be. I think my demise was because I had friendships. We're a big Survivor family. After were on this, because we all go through these different experiences on each show, but we all have an eye-opening experience from that. And we try to change based on that. And we discuss the game after the shows. And I became close with several players. And there is NO WAY in my mind that you can negotiate against your friend. You can't do it. So the hardest part of the experience is that we had friendships that came into the game. You just have to be pretty cutthroat to close your eyes to that. And I don't have it in my gut to do it. Just can't do it, because in my gut (DID LEX'S LANGUAGE DISEASE RUB OFF ON THESE PEOPLE?), in my life, family and friends are everything. If you didn't have it, forget it.

And you know what; if somebody tells me one more time that it's just a game, and you should just be able to look through that, screw it. I don't care what game you're playing -- hockey, monopoly (THE RED WINGS PLAY BOTH). If you're side by side with a friend, I'm going to give the friend a break whatever game we're in. If it was to save them and bring them along to cash out for money or to cash out for a win. If I was sitting around with a bunch of strangers and I was sitting there with a friend, I would always take the friend. SO having strangers around is much easier.

The other thing is the beginning of the game, I was with some powerful players, but I didn't know them. We had gotten to know them somewhat, but it wasn't close bonding. I didn't know Richard Hatch that well. I didn't know Colby. I didn't know Ethan. So it was almost like playing against the Survivor the first time. I was OK with lying to them and booting them out.

I think Survivor is impossible to play Survivor when you know the people.

It's not Survivor.

It's not the game.

(VERY POIGNANT QUOTES FROM ONE OF THE BEST!!!!)

I think it's a mistake to have friends in this game. Can't do it.

CUT

This experience out here gets right down to core values. It's fascinating. That's why it's such a popular game. 35 million people watch it (UHHH NOT THAT MANY). We're stripped of everything, and you get down to what builds character. You can play ruthlessly and win the million-dollar check, but in the end, you're considered slime (FORESHADOWING???) forever in the eyes of whoever watched you. You didn't do it with a little grace. And you know what? It's about grace and respect. You can take people down, but as long as you have respect for them or to them, it's a different story.

I do believe that there are players out there that are using friendships to take them further to the million bucks. And I think it's a lack of character and a lack of respect.

And if you are going to take people down who are friends of yours, then by God, let them know the truth. And what really got me when I got taken down by a friend on the show, was, "take me down, but fill me in that you're take me down." And that's the key. When I was making deals at the beginning of this game, I knew some of the people I was going to take out, and I was going to vote them out. And in the end, I was always upfront with them. Because when your number's up, especially with these guys, with these All-Stars, you're not going to save yourself in the last five hours.

Impossible.

So I think I was hurt. I was really hurt. I was really crushed that Rob (SHE FINALLY MENTIONS HIM BY NAME) Mariano didn't come to me and own up. I misjudged his character.

---WE INTERRUPT THIS TRANSCRIPT FOR A SHORT MARKOPOLO RANT---

IS THERE ANY WAY BOSTON ROB DOESN'T WIN THIS GAME? HE'S GOTTEN BETTER "CHOSEN ONE" EDITING THEN PASSION OF THE CHRIST. EVERY EPISODE IT'S "I'M GONNA WIN THEH MILLION DOLLEHHS. SEE ME IN THE FINAL TEH."

EITHER THIS IS THE BIGGEST BUILDUP TO THE BIGGEST COLLAPSE EVER, OR THE REST OF THIS SHOW IS SO BORING THAT THEY NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON THE GLORY OF ROB.

WHICH IS IT? WELL. BECAUSE HE WEARS A RED SOX CAP, WE'LL GO WITH THE FORMER.

DOES ROB PULL A BUCKNER? A GRADY? A WAKEFIELD? THAT MIGHT BE THE ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR REMAINING IN THIS SEASON.

---- BACK TO THE TRANSCRIPT ----

Kathy (confessional): In the bitter end of the game of life. When you get screwed over, you put it in the past and keep going. I am absolutely flattered I got to do this. There are a lot of us and a lot of skilled players and they didn't come back. I don't know why. Maybe they weren't asked. But the fact is that I got the phone call to come back here was exciting. It was exciting to be here. The game is fascinating. I studied with a psychiatrist before I came out here, just to understand people better. And it really gave me huge advantages in the beginning. I just have a big old heart. My heart got in the way (laughs).

But I love the game. It's so much fun having people only concentrating on pure energy and emotion. And that's all that's out here. And it gets right down to discipline, tenacity respect, dedication, commitment, all the things that make a true character -- grace. And that's why I enjoy. You don't have to worry about the mortgage payments, getting to work on time (FOR MOST SURVIVORS, THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WORK WHEN THEY'RE DONE WITH THE SHOW, TOO).

It gets right down to what's inside here (points to heart) and here (points to brain). And that's so much fun.

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Restless Night
2 min : 45 sec
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Clip description: Why can't Chaboga Mogo sleep? Just how miserable are the tribe members during the long, difficult nights? The Survivors tell all. One castaway, however, seems to be right at home!

Markopolo's note: I didn't see Shii Ann in this clip at all. Kathy is absent, too. Where could they be? Rob says that it's our "fifth night without any sleep." Is he talking about Mogo Mogo, too? The first night at Saboga was after the merge, the second night was Lex's TC, third night was Kathy's.....hmmmn. This was in the show, too. It's probably nothing, but I thought I would mention it.

(AT NIGHT, ROB SAYS "IT'S OUR FIFTH NIGHT WITHOUT ANY SLEEP)

(I CAN'T HEAR ROB AT ALL).

(TOM COMPLAINS; AMBER COMPLAINS)

(RUPERT IS SLEEPING).

Rupert (confessional): Last night was one of those better nights. My body is finally adjusting to this place surprisingly well. My bug bites are going away. I slept most of the night. I didn't tend fire once.

Alicia (confessional): Just when you think the bugs are letting uop, they come back in force. This morning specifically, they were really bad. All over my face. They just would not stop. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if it's rainy seaosn at its peak.

(ROB AND TOM STROLL OFF....CAN'T HEAR ROB)

(SHII ANN AND KATHY ARE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND)

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Like Father, Like Son
3 min : 43 sec
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Clip description: In a reflective moment, Tom describes his relationship with his son. Does he rely on his family him for everything?

Markopolo's note: This clip scares me to death. I just hope people like Tom are too stupid to vote in elections.

Tom (confessional): That's my best friend. Especially now that he's 21. When I have big decisions, you know how you go to your father. Well my father helped me. But now I can go to my son. Any problem. With his mother, if I get thrown in jail. I call him and come get me. Yeah. He's the closest friend I got it. No problem. He's a lot like me. We take life with a smile on the face, and when you got take life serious, you got to. When it's business, it's business. When it's play, you play hard.

CUT

No I didn't hear from my wife. In Africa, she wrote me three lines: "Everything's going good. The cattle's doing good. Hurry on and get home. Love Sandy."

I remember Lex got a 16-page letter from his wife.

CUT

And he cried and cried. And I showed him my letter and he felt bad for me. I said, "Lex, don't feel bad for me (I CAN'T READ THE LETTER ANYWAY). That's my wife. She told me in three lines what's on her mind. She knew I was worried about the farm, worried about my son. After 25 years, I know exactly what she's talking about. She answered every question. As a matter of fact, I think that's the first letter I ever got from her. (THEY DON'T WRITE OFTEN DOWN ON THE FARM). I'd like to hear from her, but I'll be home soon. This aint my first rodeo. I don't care where she goes, but when I come home, I want her to be there.

CUT

My wife likes to work outside. Can't cook. Worst cook in the country. But I have to say she'll try and it'll look like the prettiest thing you've ever seen. But if you go eat, you better be hungry. It looks good, but you can't bite it. Sometimes you can't bite it and sometimes it'll give you diarrhea. She just don't (get it?), "my mother can cook the best." And my god why doesn't get the recipe to go by. But she puts in a little bit of this and a little bit of that and it tastes like dogsh8t. (SO, DO YOU THINK I CAN TELL MY GIRL THAT HER FOOD TASTES LIKE DOGSH8T?) But she'll try hard, and as long as there's something, I'll eat it. She's killed two dogs, when (she's thrown the food outside). I know what happened to the dogs.

CUT

She's got some specials for like Christmas. It has to be a big holiday where she can't possibly screw up. After 25 years, sometimes she can get it right. When somebody comes, she'll go to the special box. She'll just throw biscuits on you, and I pop biscuits like pills.

(RUPERT PASSES BEHIND TOM)

My old man weighs 345 pounds. He's 6-4. He's the biggest man you'll ever see. Fingers that big around. And he'll be nasty, but when you sit down, the race is on.

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Shii Ann Tells All
4 min : 12 sec
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Why is Shii Ann feeling vulnerable? Has she thrown in the towel, or is she ready to fight? Find out now.

Markopolo's note: Shii-Devil is on her last legs. She almost pulled a Jenna (when we would rather see her pull a Sue). C'mon Shii-Devil, go out with a bang; make sure the world sees why you were picked for the show, not just another loser from Thailand!

Shii Ann (after challenge confessional): Ya know this morning I woke up after two nights with lack of sleep, pouring rain and one of the most important alliances -- one of my favorite Mogo Mogo members just got voted off.

I woke up this morning feeling vulnerable, scared and tired (FUNNY, BUT WE ONLY FELT TIRED WATCHING THIS EPISODE). Just drained, and I thought to myself, you know what? Just vote me off. (WAIT ONE OR TWO MORE EPISODES) I don't need to be here anymore. I made it to the jury. I passed my 21 days from the last game (ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PATHETIC NO ONE WANTS TO VOTE YOU OFF). Why am I here? I'm miserable. But just winning that reward challenge today, just getting that snippet of my family on the video and these letters -- it's so important right now. So important to just have that extra push (crying).

And if I don't sleep for the next 11 days, if I don't eat and if I don't drink water, just have this little bit of encouragement, love from back home, I think I can do it. I think I have what it takes to keep going now.

CUT

This morning I was ready to quit. (OH GREAT...ANOTHER ONE). I was ready to say to the Chaperans who are so strong right now. All of them, there's six of them. Only Kathy and I are from Mogo Mogo, the original. And I know they're going to try and pick us off one by one. And I thought, why even bother trying to pick a deal with them? (YEAH, WHY BOTHER?) To let them see the logic in keeping me over someone else.

I'm tired. I'm done. I'm ready for a bed and a cup of cocoa, some croissants. But having these letters (I DIDN"T KNOW THEY HAD PAPER AND PENS IN HELL?) gives me something to keep going and trying to win the same and keep trying to go out fighting. So I'm not giving up. It just reminds me, I came here for a reason. Your family and friends are cheering you on. They love you, just go win. Just win.

CUT

Before I saw the video, just knowing that I was about to see their faces made me break into teats. I never cry during the game. I try not to cry during the game, because I didn't come out here for a good time (HEY, WE'RE NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME EITHER).

I didn't come out here for rewards, to make friends. I came out here to win a game. So I've been playing this game very quietly, trying to hold it all in. Just knowing I was about to see the videos made me start crying. Then seeing my sister and my mom and my stepdad and my car, I was filled with this incredible joy. It made me cry. It wasn't sadness. It wasn't sad, it was just so happy to know that they were there waiting for me at the end of all us this. They're only a few days away fro me. And it's so important at this point, because emotionally and physically, I'm at the end.

(SOUNDS LIKE SHII-DEVIL IS TOO TIRED TO STIR UP TROUBLE)

And I never thought I would get to this point where I would be at the end of my ropes. But, ya know, I've think I've lost half of my body weight. I haven't slept in days. And now I feel like I'm a huge target here. I've just about given up hope until I saw my family. And I miss them so much, and just knowing that they feel the same way, right now, gives me what it takes to go on.

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Kathy Speaks
3 min : 21 sec
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Clip description: What makes Chaboga Mogo tribemates teary-eyed? Kathy explains the reasons behind the tribe's intense emotions.

Markopolo's note: This clip has nothing special worth noting. Kathy does mention that she thought Jenna would crumble at her video, but she wasn't excruciating or broken down. And it shows she's strong as an ox mentally.

Shii Ann was free-flowing and she's more of a sensitive person.

Alicia wanted to break down, but with a tough exterior, she wouldn't break down, which Kathy says is a weakness. If she played more open, she might have gone farther.

Yet she says Rupert's emotional outburst could be his downfall. (SHE'S CONTRADICTING HERSELF SLIGHTLY).

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Kathy final words
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Markopolo's note: I liked this paragraph the best.

I know how to play this game, and that's why I came back, with great reluctance for the physical. ... I wanted to take what I learned and see if I could bring it to fruition. There's nothing better. It's like taking a class."

Kathy (final words): Damn, I had it going, too! I was working both sides, and I was doing it okay. I think people didn't catch on, they didn't mind it, they weren't asking questions. I had that down. Jesus! I can't believe it. I thought Rob was going to be there for me. It was stupid, actually; it was a stupid play. But that's what happens when you put too much trust and loyalty into your thought process out here. You can't let it happen.

You know, I came into this with a lot of hesitation, and I think the hesitation was just… I remember how beat up I got. I go so beat up that it affected my decision-making. So I came in here, and I just wanted to play the game. I came in like going to a new job, trying to be effective, as effective as I could. The thing is that it beat me to a pulp in the first six days. I had that pounding dehydration feeling day four. I had that feeling--honest to God--day 20, 25 last time. So it threw me off in the Challenges, and you know what? It threw me off in bonding with people. That robust feeling of this great adventure wasn't here, because I was just hurting physically.

The other thing that was totally missing was that on Marquesas, we were truly building a little society. I think the players did it. Whether it was Gabriel or Pascal, because it was all new. We were like big-eyed kids at Christmastime or at a holiday: "Wow! This is like Robinson Crusoe!" So, we did this bonding thing that actually makes you win. We didn't have that at all in the tribe that I was on. In that tribe that I was on, Mogo Mogo, it was business. They were all into the business of it. Hatch, Colby, most of us didn't have that wide-open, adventure feeling. So that was the killer; we didn't win. Teams have got to have spirit to win. Even thought that other tribe, Chapera, had all that goofy rah-rah stupid stuff that I didn't think was team spirit, it was enough spirit for them to make it, to win. That's why their alliance is strong.

Why did I want to do it? Because I learned. I started learning last time at about day 15, day 20, and I knew that if I brought back that knowledge, that I could have won. You know what? I could have won. I made that ridiculous decision not having enough facts. That guy wasn't in front of me, you know? I didn't have the pawn or the chess player in front of me. It was stupid. I was going based on knowing the person compared to having him in front. So I really thought I could do well. And you know what? I think I was doing well.

I know how to play this game, and that's why I came back, with great reluctance for the physical. The only thing I knew was I was going to come out and I was going to look younger again, because when I get skinny I look younger. I wanted to take what I learned and see if I could bring it to fruition. There's nothing better. It's like taking a class or learning something new. I went through such an experience last time, a personal growth experience, and just the knowledge of the game. So this time around, I knew just taking the knowledge that I acquired from the first time around that I could really win it. I felt that I was on a good course. So that's why I did it: I wanted to win! It's about winning; I love to win. We all do. And who knows? Maybe there was going to be some new enlightenment that was going to occur. But that didn't happen.

I walk away feeling good that when I am down in the dumps and I'm going down for the count, what I rely on is trust and loyalty and the better qualities of life. And you know what? Maybe I just don't have it in myself to make it all the way to the million and be semi-corrupt and lie like everybody tonight at Tribal Council said you had to do. And you know what? In essence, I don't think I have it in me to do that. I was trying to do it the other way. I feel really good about myself. If I made a mishap and I'm not winning that million bucks because it was based on trust and loyalty, and I keep rearing back to that, I keep going back to that, wanting it. I don't think you can find it here. If you find it, it's in little, short doses, and you should be satisfied with that. And you know what? I'm not. I want the big, big Kahuna loyalty and trust, and I don't think you can win it out here with just that.