So, I was a little late with Insider this morning.

So here are my top five excuses for being late with the Insider transcript. Which one is best?

1-- Had to re-watch that exciting Celebrity Mole finale. (Every person outsmarted by Dennis freakin' Rodman deserves to be immediately sacrificed. Even Ahmad, "MY MAN!" Rashad wouldn't lose to a guy who goes to more sex parties than the Colorado football team.

2-- Had to rush to San Francisco city hall to watch Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's ceremony.

3-- Throwing darts at a picture of Real World San Diego's Frankie, the most annoying person ever. (I am praying, wink, wink, that she will go away soon.) After Paris, I really thought they couldn't do worse. I was wrong.

4--Still crying over the breakup between Barbie and Ken. And here I was worried about My Little Ponies having babies.

5-- Writing letters to all the little women on the Littlest Groom that I've been fantazing about. OH COME ON, one of em was good enough for ya, admit it!

QUICK NOTES

1) CBS has added popup ads with the Insider. If you have Kazaa or KazaaLite or (fill in P2P program here), you may not be able to load Insider. If you are having trouble, find the hosts.srm file in your C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM directory and delete it or delete references in the file that have ad.doubleclick.com.

2) All archives of the Insider are available at http://www.londyscreations.com/survivornetwork
Thanks to Larry Londy for the web space.

3) Thanks to all those who support me in this thread. It takes about 2-3 hours to do a transcript, and I enjoy the comments, good or bad. Though, if you diss me, I will come after you like an enraged, smoking Ghandia!

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTES
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Markopolo's note: This tribe is so weak! Tom, Alicia and Sue should be embarrassed for not standing up to Robfather and his little pet. The trio better not make the big mistake of failing to vote off Waab next time.

TOP 10 weak pathetic Survivors/tribes

1-- Jan -- Batty granny made me want to smash the TV set with a bat.

2-- The entire Thailand Cast -- Besides being duller than the last Matrix -- Brian played them like a soft-porn star. Oh wait..........

3-- Pagong -- Hmmn....4 votes against Gretchen, but there can't be an alliance, right? Greg: I think I'll vote Jenna. Jenna L: I think I'll vote for Greg.

4-- Osten -- My body is more important to me than a million dollars. Sorry, Osten, maybe Jenna's or Heidi's body. Playgirl doesn't sell all that well.

5-- Amber (Australia) -- So, Tina, who are we going to vote off tonight? Tina: We're voting for Liz....now go run along little girl.

6-- Amber (All-Stars) -- slowly moving up the charts. Looks like she'll make a run in the tournament if her RPI (Rob's panties index) is high enough.

7-- Tom, Alicia and Sue (Chapera) -- Please use your brains. Oh wait.......can't use what you don't have.

8-- Vecepia -- I watch 12 episodes, and then she shows up and gets paid a million dollars? Sounds like ARod on Opening Day.

9-- Mitchell -- I can't think of one Survivor who couldn't beaten your sorry ass. Well, maybe Johnny Fairplay.

10-- Jessie -- Drink the water, dammit! Either that, or ask Clarence to "scrum up" some more cherries.

BACK TO THE VOTES

Rob C. (votes Alicia): I'm a little uneasy about this vote tonight, but if everything goes through, I have a feeling next time I see you, there's going to be a big finger wagging in my face. TIP TO FUTURE SURVIVORS...IF YOU BEGIN YOUR VOTE WITH, "I'M A BIT UNEASY ABOUT THIS VOTE," YOU'RE SCREWED MORE THAN AMBER DURING A NIGHT ON THE TOWN!

Sue (votes Rob C.): I'm playing for the long run. It might be hard for me, but if I make it that far, I don't want a weasel playing in the game with me. Sorry.

Tom (votes Rob C.): The only reason why I'm voting against you is because in the alliance game, you're the bedhopper. You hop from here to there and everywhere. I felt like I couldn't trust you because of the way you played the game the last time. I couldn't stand the bedhopping. But, other than that, you're a great guy and I'll see ya. Maybe, maybe not. (PUTS VOTE IN VASE, PAUSES). Also, you're a very smart man. Very smart. You play the game well.

Markopolo's note: Personally, I think Tom is much more concerned about him bedhopping into Amber's end.

Alicia (votes Rob C.): Rob C, you're a great guy, and you're really funny. You bring a lot of comic relief to our tribe. But coming to tribal council isn't very funny. And I think we need from here on out, is a little more seriousness.

Rob M. (votes Rob C.): I saw you on the Amazon and I gotta tell you, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Listen buddy, this isn't personal. It's business. Plus, this island's big enough for only one Rob. See ya later.

Amber (votes Rob C.): I know you've been the mastermind of Amazon, and I can't give you the opportunity to be the mastermind of All star. Sorry.

Markopolo's note: Everyone is pretty nice to Rob C, and they should. They are treating him with the respect of a past winner. If Mogo Mogo had been to TC, they would have voted off Richard the same way -- out of respect.

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TATTOO YOU
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Clip description: With nothing but time to spare, Boston Rob, Amber and Big Tom used their creativity to get through the slow day. How did they do it? Find out now.

Markopolo's note: This clip is funny. We see Amber actually talk and make a statement worth hearing. READ BELOW! It's also OBVIOUS that Amber, Tom and Robfather get along very well.

(AMBER IS DRAWING ON A TREE STUMP WITH TOM AND ROBFATHER WATCHING)

Tom (to Amber): Is that a funky monkey? What the hell is it?

Rob M: I think it's a lizard?

Tom: A Lizard? Let's see.

Amber (confessional): We were really bored. It was a really long day. (AND ROBFATHER LASTS FOR 10, MAYBE 15 SECONDS). So we decided, let's make Chapera tattoos.

(AMBER DRAWS ON TOM)

Tom: Oh my God, that hurts. (NOW WE KNOW WHY THEY LEFT THIS CLIP OUT OF THE SHOW...HOW DIRTY!)

Amber (confessional): I mean, there's not a dull moment in this tribe. We're never sad. We're not letting that happen this time. I'm not letting that happen this time. (FIRST AGGRESSIVE THING AMBER HAS SAID, EVER).

(SHOT OF ROBFATHER LYING DOWN)

Robfather (confessional): I'm having fun. I'm having more fun on Survivor this time than I ever had in the past.

(AMBER DRAWS ON ROBFATHER)

Robfather (to Tom): Tommy, did it hurt this bad when you got it done??

(THAT'S IT! CALL THE FCC! LET'S HAVE A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING. THIS CLIP IS DISGUSTING!)

Robfather: I'm going to need a shot of whiskey. The pain is a little tough. (C'MON, IT'S NOT LIKE SUE IS "DRAWING" ON YOU?)

Robfather (confessional): Downtime is probably one of the worst things that can happen to you when you're out here playing Survivor. You get a day or two days off. People get stir crazy, because people need an opportunity to think -- something you don't want people doing, if you're trying to run a good game. As I am.

(SHOTS OF ROBFATHER DRAWING ON AMBER)

Amber (to Tom and Robfather): Now what?

Robfather: That was good for about 15 minutes.

Tom (getting into hammock): Alright, let me just think of something else here.

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ROB C IS WORRIED
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Markopolo's note: Rob C is a smart player, but in this clip, he is absolutely crazy. I haven't seen someone this paranoid since Pete the Pelican got within 20 feet of Osten.

Rob C (confessional): I claim to be an observant player, and I thought it was going to be open season for alliances when we got back from the challenge in this Survivor All-Star. And I thought there would be more alliance making here than in a normal game. But it doesn't seem like anybody's interested in doing that. This is sort of like a lousy summer vacation that we're on, running around just looking for food, talking about God knows what (HOW ABOUT THAT "EXCITING" PASSION MOVIE COMING SOON?). But it doesn't seem like there's a game being played here.

I still don't feel like the tribe feels like we're going to tribal council. Nobody is saying, wow, we're losing somebody tonight. Wow, the adventure's ending for somebody tonight. (THEY JUST FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, MAN)

And because I haven't heard anybody say that, it makes me think there's a chance it could be me, because I haven't heard anybody saying it. (THAT'S WHY TOM THINKS YOU'RE A SMART ONE!)

But, on the other hand, maybe no one's saying it. And if that's the case, what is going on here? What are these people doing? We're a third through a 39-day game and still no mention of alliances?

I don't get it. (THEY WERE MAKING THEM WHILE YOU WERE MAKING SANDCASTLES)

CUT

It's possible that I am over thinking (OVER THINKING AT CHAPERA? NAW, NOT POSSIBLE).

And my mind can get me in trouble. It has in the past. I'm just worried that maybe Rob is deceiving me. I read some books on psychology before I came out here. (PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT READING IS USELESS, BUT WATCHING SURVIVOR AND HERBAL ESSENCE BEING SCRUBBED ON A HOT GIRL IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT).

A paranoid person tends to be paranoid about lying if they in fact are a liar. And as a person who’s told many lies in this game, it's my nature to think that people that talk to me, tend to be dishonest.

So it's a double-edged sword to play this game in a dishonest way. Because you tend to think that the people you talk to are being dishonest to you back.

CUT

One classic Survivor mistake is to force the issue on alliances too early in the game. Although it's Day 12, the game has really just begun here at Chapera. So to start going up to every person (and saying) "how are you going to vote? How are you going to vote?" It really could force the issue of myself getting voted out for overplaying the game.

So I need to be very careful on what I am going to do. I think if I get Boston Rob alone again, I'm going to ask him, do you Amber is really going to vote out Alicia tonight? (WRONG QUESTION, THE CORRECT QUESTION WAS, "ROBFATHER, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TELL AMBER TO VOTE OUT ALICIA?")

Or go up to Big Tom and ask, is there a chance that I might go tonight?

I like to play a little of the role of I've concerned with myself even though I actually am. Because I look for that reassurance in people. I look for things when people say to me, "Tomorrow we're going to fishing. Or when we get back tonight... “ Because if they know, in their mind, that I'm not going to be back they wouldn't say those things.

And Boston Rob did ask me to go fishing tomorrow night. (HE MEANT SLEEPING WITH FISHIES!).

(IT'S OBVIOUS ROB C. LOOKS UP TO ROBFATHER AND WANTS ROBFATHER TO BE HIS FRIEND. AWWWW.)

And I'm going to ask him if we can do something else later on. I dunno. I'm worried, because it's tribal council. And the game could be over for me. And I want nothing more than to win this game. So even though there's a chance I might get voted out tonight, I'm a nervous wreck.

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BOSTON ROB EXPLAINS IT ALL
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Clip description: Boston Rob explains that there is only room for one Rob on SURVIVOR: ALL STARS.

Markopolo's note: Surprise! Robfather is a complete asshole. He has too big of an ego to admit Rob C was a threat (though he did in his TC vote). I do believe that he is much smarter than he lets on, though.

Robfather (confessional): Rob Cesternino is the funniest person he knows. (SMILES, PAUSE, LAUGHS)

I mean, I dunno. The kid cracks himself up. Doesn't he? And he makes a game of it. But it's killer. It's painful to listen to Cesternino talk. That's how obvious everything he does is. I mean he probably read like five psychology books before he got out here (HEY, HOW DID YOU KNOW?)

And he's using the examples from the book, the textbook, on the tribe. And I mean, people like Alicia and Big Tom noticing, c’mon dude. (TOM MUST HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS TAKEN FROM A JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE) You're not too smooth.

CUT

I don't consider Rob Cesternino a threat at all. But there is the potential there for him to screw things up for me. So before he has that opportunity, I wanna get rid of him.

CUT

This game, this time around, is completely different. When you know the other people involved, it's completely different than playing with a bunch of strangers. I think it's infinitely harder, to tell you the truth. Because people already have preconceived notions about you. About how you play the game.

To overcome something like that, in my case, or anybody's case, makes it a lot more difficult.

So that's why I went into this with the mentality, let's just win as much as we can.

And now, even that, I'm second-guessing that. Because if we win so many, and all of a sudden they merge us together, then maybe everybody that's been getting their asses kicked all the time will join up against us and take us out one at a time. Then it seems like it's all for nothing.

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ROB THE DAY AFTER
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Markopolo's note: It sounds like Rob C was screwed over by his two best friends -- Sue and Tom! Too bad this is a disappointing clip with few jokes and no attacks on the RobFather.

Rob C (Day-after interview): I knew coming into this game that I had a big challenge ahead of me to try and differentiate myself from what people saw of me on television. But in my time on the island, I don't think I did a good job of trying to tell people that what they saw on television wasn't what they had on the tribe.

And as much as I tried to be nice to everybody and do what everybody asked and tried to be everybody's friend instead of scheme and plot to a degree that everybody noticed what was going on -- in the meantime, I guess I let my guard down, and was seen as too much of a threat and taken out by the tribe.

CUT

I know the game well enough that I could play it a bunch of different ways. The way I played it in the Amazon worked best for that particular scenario. The way I played it here, I still feel was the right way to play for this scenario.

I just don't think there's anything I could have done differently.

HOW ABOUT BREAKING UP ROB AND AMBER LIKE WE ALL WANTED YOU TO? AT LEAST YOU COULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH A BANG. SPEAKING OF BANGS, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE BANGED SUE, AND PRETENDED SHE WAS MARISSA'S MILFY MOM ON THE OC?

SPEAKING OF OC, ISN'T ROB C A TOTAL REPLICA OF SETH COHEN? (MINUS HAVING TWO WOMEN OF COURSE)

I was really here to play the game again. The money was never really a factor. The money was sort of an afterthought which would have been nice. But this was one more chance to come and play Survivor and unfortunately I didn't have the shot that I hoped for.

Has the game escalated? Well, I didn't see it coming, so maybe there are players who have taken it to the next level. (EHHHH, PROBABLY NOT).

I wasn't expecting the amount of lying that was going on that early.

CUT

I was actually surprised that it was a unanimous vote. I didn't think that Sue Hawk would vote for me. I thought her and I were actually quite close. I didn't think that Big Tom would vote for me. And I am kicking myself, because I was going to ask Big Tom, man to man, would you tell me if it was going to be me.

But even if I had known, there was nothing I could have done about it. And they were probably smart not to tell me, because they did kind of beat me at my own game. I didn’t know that I was going to be kicked out of the tribe.

Had I had that information, I might have been able to do something with it, but I was a little surprised that people like Tom and Sue, people that I had honest relationships with, didn’t have the..., didn't find it necessary to give me a sign or a hint. So I guess people really are playing the game. I don't know what convinced them that they needed to get rid of me (COUGH::ROBFATHER'S DECREE::COUGH)

Maybe there was an alliance I didn't see.

CUT

I think that by voting me out, I think the tribe loses a number of things, starting with I'm an asset in the challenges. I may not be the biggest guy, but I always give it my all. Especially in the mental challenges. We would not have won the reward challenge on Day 10 with the boxes, if I had not been on the tribe.

CUT (WHY DID THEY CUT HIS EXPLANATION???)

Being a fan of Survivor and being able to not only play the game, but come back and play an All-Star version of the game, was really the ultimate thrill. And it really was a great experience. My only regret was that I didn't get a chance to go up against Rich Hatch in the game. And I didn't have a chance to go head-to-head with Colby or Ethan or some of the other players I never got to meet in the game.

I did have the opportunity to spend 12 days with five All-Star survivors, but it does feel a little of regret that I didn't get to go up against all the All-Star survivors.

But I guess it's better to have played Survivor All-Stars and lost than to never play Survivor All-Stars at all.

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ROB'S FINAL WORDS
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Markopolo's note: Rob C says that Tom is going to go far.

It was an incredible feeling to get the chance to come play Survivor: All-Stars again. I would have like to have played the game longer, but it's just incredible to be selected as one of the all-time elite Survivor players.

CUT

It was very special to get a chance to come out here and compete with some of the greatest Survivor players of all time. It's just sad to me that I didn't get an opportunity to go up against the best of them, especially Richard Hatch.

CUT

I don't think I really learned anything new about myself in the 12 days I was out here. I learned a little bit more of what my body can take as far as punishment goes, but I feel great right now. I feel about as good as I did the first day I was out here. So, I think that the tribe was foolish to get rid of me, because I think I could still be an asset.

CUT

Right now, it's a little bit of a humbling experience. I thought that I might be, in fact, the greatest Survivor player to every play. But it's hard to come in to play Survivor with people that already know your strengths and weaknesses. If these were 16 or 18 strangers, I am sure that I would still be in the game, but people knew what I did last time too well, and I was a victim of my own success, I think.

CUT

Apparently, the player got played, but I think it was for the wrong reasons.

CUT

I don't know if my tribe is going to live to regret my early demise, but I have a feeling that nobody from my tribe, maybe Big Tom, is going to have a lot of success in this game.

CUT

The biggest disappointment for me is not getting to play the game. I want to play Survivor: that was what I wanted to do in the first place; that's why I came back again. I wanted to have my chance to prove that I was the best Survivor player, but being taken out this early and not exactly knowing the reasons why I was taken out. I don't think I had gotten in any fights with anybody. I didn't ruffle any feathers. I thought I was a help around camp. From what I know right now, I think the only reason I was taken out is because of my past reputation.

CUT

Umm, right now, I don't think I have really hard feelings against the guys. Alicia and Amber I was annoyed with from before we came to tribal council, and I don't feel any different about them either way, but Sue and Big Tom and, I'm sure, Boston Rob, will end up throwing a few back, But he did shake my hand and he gave me his word on that. So, it's a little early in the game to be breaking that kind of word, I thought.

It just goes to show you that all the stops are pulled out on the All-Star.