Jon Dalton, the worst role model ever.

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: My grandmother died.
Teacher: Oh you poor thing, don't worry about it.

Police officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Driver: Sorry, my grandmother died.
Officer: Oh, that's all right then. Take it easy, OK?

Reporter Peter Lance: Mr. Burnett, didn't you tell Dirk to vote for Stacy and not Rudy?
Burnett: Sorry, eh, my grandmother died, and Leslie Moonves' grandmother, too.
Reporter: That's OK, my book Stingray wasn't going to sell anyway.

Judge: Do you know how many boys you molested?
MJ: Sorry, my grandmother died.
Judge: Case dismissed!

MARKOPOLO'S NOTE: I CALL FOR THE BANNING OF SURVIVOR. THIS SHOW OBVIOUSLY PROMOTES LYING, DECEIT, AND CHILD MOLESTATION.

Oh, and sorry the transcriptions are late, (you know who kicked the bucket).

But seriously. Lying is wrong. I hope Sandra kicks Jon's ass at the reunion. Maybe a Pay Per View?

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TRIBAL COUNCIL VOTING
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Markopolo's note: Could my dream be true? The Drake tribe was more annoyed with Tijuana than me? Whiny voice begone!

Sandra (votes Happy Birthday Tijuana): You came to our tribe and you tried to delegate what we were going to do and how we were going to do it. Frankly, we're sick and tired of you. By the way, happy birthday. Take care, goodbye, adios. (I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. OH...AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY)

Darrah (votes Burton): Burton, I'm voting for you only because you're the biggest threat we have now and this is the only chance that you won't win immunity. Thanks for being a friend and being respectful to T and I for bringing us into the alliance with you. (YEAH, THANKS FOR THE ALLIANCE, BUT NOW I'M BACKSTABBING YOU IN THE BACK). And thanks for getting me further along in the game. Thanks for the fish and thanks for everything.

Christa (votes Tijuana, happy birthday): You're very rude, disrespectful; you like to order people around. And I just don't want you around anymore.

Tijuana (votes Burton): Burton this vote is for you, not because you're not a good person. You're not only a good person, you're a hard worker around camp. You raise our spirits and we appreciate everything you've done. So it's nothing against you personally. It's merely the fact that you are the strongest player here mentally and physically (UH, TIJUANA, YOU MUST BE MENTAL TO THINK BURTON HAS ANY MENTAL PROWESS). On top of that, as you know, I heard Jon and you talking. And you had a lot of distinct differences from what you were telling us, which is what you told Jon. And it just contradicts our alliance. So that's why this vote is for you, but again, good blessings to you. I hope that in the end when this is all over we'll be friends.

Lill (votes Tyuana): GREAT SPELLING, LILL. HOW ON EARTH DIDN'T YOU WIN IMMUNITY? Tijuana, it's a little bit of payback time. You didn't think anything about getting rid of me (four weeks ago???). You broke our alliance with some wonderful people. They brought you in and saved you. And now you want to get rid of our main source of food, Burton. I say no. I'm here to protect Burton (AND HAVE A DEMI-ASHTON AFFAIR WITH HIM, TOO). I think it's time for you to go.

Burton (votes Tijuana): I know it's your birthday tomorrow and I know only one of us is going to be here to see it. But I have some advice for you a day early. Never assume you are in control of a situation until you're 100 percent assured. (YEAH, GOOD ADVICE FROM THE IDIOT WHO IS GOING HOME NEXT WEEK).

Lying jerk (votes T Happy B-Day): Say your prayers. Take your vitamins and (you will never go wrong??). (THE HULKSTER MAY HAVE TAKEN STEROIDS, BUT AT LEAST HE DIDN'T LIE ABOUT HIS GRAMMA)

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TIJUANA: THE DAY AFTER
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Markopolo's note: Tijuana doesn't have a lot of juicy stuff to say, but we do learn a little bit more about her and her experience, so it's pretty interesting. I turned the treble down and the bass up while listening, however. But regardless, I think Tijuana made the right move by trying to get rid of Burton. She started to play the game a little too late, and it backfired on her. But it's better than just going along like a cow waiting to be slaughtered by a Jon-Burton-Lill alliance.

Tijuana (day-after interview): There are two parts of the game that were the most memorable to me. I think the first was when I had to jump off the boat. I'm not a very good swimmer. And I had been practicing two months prior to this experience. To better my swimming skills. So when I was told I had to jump off this boat, considering I had jumped off a diving just two times in my whole life. It was not something I wanted to do, nor was I prepared. But once I saw everyone else doing it, I knew I had to do it.

So it was just a test for me, can I really do this. And I did and I was just very proud of myself. To take that risk.

I think the second time was in a challenge when I had to dive for pieces. I just didn't think I could do it. And I was out there for a while; I didn't think I was going to succeed. But I didn't want to let myself down; I didn't want to let my tribe down, considering we had already lost some challenges. So I went in anyway, and it took some time, but then at the last minute, (ACTUALLY 30 MINUTES AFTER DRAKE HAD ALREADY WON AND GOTTEN BACK TO THEIR CAMP), as I thought I wasn't going to be able to do it, I went down again and got a piece for our challenge. We ended up losing that challenge because of a number of other things (COUGH...LYING LIKE JON....COUGH COUGH). It just felt good for me. It's a good feeling. You get out here and you test your will power and your strength. ... It's been a fulfilling experience.

CUT

I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was definitely hard out here. Even up to the moment when I was shockingly voted out, I still would have gone another how ever many days. It was OK. You still knew why you were there. I would have continued on for as long as I needed to. And I learned a lot of good things about myself and bad things about myself, so that I can improve. Just in group dynamics, with strangers, how am I? And then thinking about my friends and family and how I am with them. You're just able to reflect and how can I be a better person. I definitely have grown from this experience. And I think I'll grow even more when I see it on TV (AS AMERICA COVERS THEIR EARS WHEN THEY HEAR YOUR WHINY VOICE). It'll be a true reflection for me. I would do it again of course. I was so happy to experience it because I know there are many people who have either tried to be at this point and weren't able to. I'm blessed.

CUT

It's something that I don't regret, but I would have changed would have been, the last day when I was voted off, I was on my high horse. I was kind of in charge. "We're going to vote out a person." And I told myself in the game to align myself with people and respect people and try to be as honest as possible. By the last day, I kind of forgot those values that I told myself I would keep by my side until the end. And I think it came back to nip me in the butt (OR YOU COULD HAVE KEPT QUIET AND FINISHED AN AMBERESQUE 5th).

I got to the point where I thought, "things are going my way. I can kind of control this setting." And I used the power I had at that time to a point where it hurt me. It's a reality check. It tells you, "You may think you're in control but are you always in control?" And to make sure you're always paying attention and I wasn't doing that the last day. It was the reason why I got voted out. If I had paid attention and not got too high up on my horse, I would have gotten farther in the game, because that was the whole plan. To be in a five-person alliance and be further in the game. I didn't. I thought I was controlling things a little too much. That's probably the one thing that if I had to do it all over again, I would have stayed with who I would say I would be in the game and be consistent with that. And I forgot that the last day of the game.

CUT

There are a few. I think with every person I came across, there was some sort of relationship. From the very beginning, when there was Nicole. It went from me not knowing her to hearing from other people that there were some things going on as far as her strategizing the game and how it potentially hurt me.

From Nicole to Ryan S to Lill to OT and thereafter, and coming over to the Drake tribe. A few days before I was leaving, I started to develop a relationship with Jon and also Burton. And those are probably the worst relationships I could develop (laughs). I didn't know them, and I took what Jon's words would be as truth. Because they sounded like valid points, the things they were saying to me. They made sense. In retrospect, I was just being very naive. But all in all, ya know? He's playing the game; he's playing the game well. And we're total opposites in how he was playing the game and I was playing the game. But look who got further? He did!

So I've had a bunch of relationships out here. But regardless of the relationships I've had in this game, I think I can walk away and say I have some friendships here. I don't have any hard feelings. I'm not going to say, "To hell with them." They played the game. They came in with how they were going to play it. In the end, we're all people (WELL, JON MAY BE ONE STEP BELOW HUMAN), and we're all trying to get to the same point. However you play it is how you play it. In the end, I respect the experience. I respect the people who had this experience with me. And I'll walk away respecting everything about the game, including the people who helped me and hurt me. So, I walk away I think with 15 other people, potentially, I didn't get to know everybody, who knows if we'll be friends or not, but there's a few friendships I've walked away with.

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TIJUANA: FINAL WORDS
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Markopolo's note: She repeats a lot of her day-after interview, so I tried to not repeat too much. Tijuana's voice is REALLY high in this clip. Ouch my ears. One thing, doesn't T sound so much more likeable after she was booted off?

Tijuana (right after being booted): I've learned a lot, I've learned what I am willing to do as far as people are concerned. ... I've learned that if I try my best, I can do it. Aside from that, it's very hard dealing with this kind of game. I was sitting there at tribal council saying, "God, this is such a difficult game," on a personal level, because there are certain things you wouldn't do outside of the game, that you start to actually contemplate doing in the game to get your further, one of those being to vote off Burton. He's a good guy and he deserves to be here after Christa and Sandra. But it was very hard for me to make that decision. I sort of learned a lot from this game. I'm happy where I'm at. I'll go home, and hopefully I learned enough to share with everyone and live a better life.

CUT

Definitely a long journey, but so worth it. I wish I had it longer. But I don't. Trying to take a step up and try to take an advantage and take that leadership role, I think cost me the game. It was a high risk, I knew it was. I tried to get other people involved so I wasn't going to be a major target. But I think I still was. I definitely was the messenger for the remaining tribe members. But that's the risk I took.

CUT

TALKS ABOUT RAIN AND STUPID BORING STUFF.

It's truly the toughest (experience) since my mother's death. It surprises me even more that I was able to go through it. And have a positive attitude. I had my bad days and I wasn't the most (best?) person to get along with. But overall, I tried to have a positive attitude and support others. But I don't know. It shows I can still do everything I can put my mind to. I did it here.

CUT

It definitely is a reflection being here of all the dynamics of life experiences that you have from people who don't get along to other people that argue to maybe someone who doesn't like you for your skin color. All of these things, coupled with the fact that you have try to find food and shelter. The elements that are out here. It's all compressed into 39 days, coupled with the fact that you can't get away. You can get away for a little bit, walk down the beach, but you have to come right back. You can't go for too long because then you never know what is happening when you're gone. SO it's definitely all the experiences, mostly positive things, compressed into 39 days. It makes it that much more tough, a challenge. But at the same time, it makes it that much more rewarding.

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A TRUE FISH STORY
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Clip description: You saw the tribe blame Christa for throwing the much-needed fish into the jungle. Watch as Insider brings you back to the Balboa tribe as Christa explains her predicament.

Markopolo's note: Well, this clip tells the WHOLE story of the sabotage. Pretty interesting. Why didn't EPM leave some of this stuff in the show?

Christa (sobbing confessional): Apparently, last night, the fish were thrown into the forest. And Sandra and I were accused. I was basically the one that was blamed for throwing fish that we had leftover from Rupert's fishing that day, into the woods or into the ocean. I didn't throw fish anywhere. I didn't even see the fish come up when Burton was gutting them right before we left for tribal council. I didn't throw the fish into the forest. Yet Burton and Jon make up this big old story blaming me (HMMN....TOO EASY...TOO EASY).

It very well could have been Sandra. I know she snuck oranges before and snuck mangos before (THAT'S SNUCK NOT SUCK, YOU SICKOS). She promises me that she didn't do it. Maybe that's the truth or not. Maybe she's trying to save herself now one more spot than me, by saying she didn't do it. Because I did have about 30 seconds where I put down my canteen in the corner of bed and that 30 seconds made everyone believe that I took some trip back to the camp, took the fish and threw them in the forest. And went back and put the bucket back, which is impossible. But I'm the only one that was gone for 30 seconds and I just didn't want to listen to Sandra and Jon argue over and over and over. I hear Jon and Sandra argue all the time so that's why I didn't want to hear it. So that's why I left the whole situation. And people think that I threw away all the fish. I feel horrible for being blamed and not have any way to prove that I didn't do it.

CUT

And I talked to Lill this morning and she said that I can't be trusted. And she doesn't believe me. And that she believes I threw the fish out. I just feel like I can't talk to anybody here. They all think that I threw out the fish and that I tried to sabotage the camp and the tribe. And I didn't and it makes me feel bad for doing something I didn't do.

CUT

So nobody wants to talk to me because I threw out the fish! That I didn't throw out. That I can't prove that I didn't have any part of it. (I SUGGEST HIRING JOHNNIE COCHRAN).

FINAL NOTE

AGAIN, there were only four NEW clips on Insider this week. The other two clips were just clips of the challenges with nothing new from the show. So after every week of 9-11 clips, we only have SEVEN last week and SIX this week? CBS and YAHOO are going cheap on us, which is a shame. I purchase Yahoo Platinum for $9.99 a month for the Survivor clips ONLY. Please give me my money's worth, YAHOO!