As a favor to the wise and wonderful kircon here's a summary of Episode 5 which was missed earlier in the Summary rundowns. Sit down, get comfy and grab a big glass of Kool-Ade. And action......

Better Late then Never (possible spoilers up to the merge because I can’t help but comment on stuff and nonsense).

You all look pale and in need of dose of left over snark to help you with the After Turkey Day/Black Friday Recovery.

Recap of last time: Gah, everyone’s still around. Anyway Coach is in charge (oh no he ain’t, his god says so), Ozzy is living in the “everyone needs me” dream world. And how exactly has either of these bozos changed their game?

RI nonsense: Stacy joins Christine at Re-do-over Island and she says the gasoline drawers line with the news flash that Coach is in charge and Coach is a joke. Thank you Admiral Obvious.

On to the show. Gah, this is hard when you already know who’ll mess up and who will be toasted.

Brandon wakes everyone up (I’d clobber him for waking me for that) for a tree mail alert. Off to the dool.
Stacy blabs and refuses to call Coach “Coach” because his daddy didn’t name him Coach and says everyone is drinking Benjamin’s kool-ade. Christine beats Stacy and that’s about enough of that.

Gah, there are a bunch of commercials on these old CBS episode videos.

Back at camp, Albert and Mikayla return from RI and report to Benjamin that Stacy ratted Albert, Sophie and Benjamin out that they were the ring leaders, Brandon (here after he will be Te Tool) asks, “Who’s Benjamin?” Benjacoach threatens that anyone calling him Benjatool will be murdered, cut in pieces and fed to the fishes. So there.

>inserted knowledge of the future< Now wait, right there rookies: You were told that Albert, Sophie and Benjatool are controlling things, a minority of those left at Upolu. Your time to make a move Edna, Rick, Te Tool, Mikayla 4 is more than 3 now go get Benjatool in three….two…..one…. Oooops you missed it. Don’t worry everyone but Mikayla will make the merge, shhhhhh.

Day 12: Over at the land of Oz. Elyse says her alliance of Keith, Whitney, Ozzy, Jim and herself is strong > snort> .

Poor Cochran, irritated about Ozzy and Elyse rapped up in their love blanket, wait until he gets a load of Keith & Whitney knocking toes in the Love Shack. spoiled.

Jim decides Elyse has to go, well we know that works and that’s about it for Jim. Dang does this mean Jim doesn’t make it to F3? Oh the spoilers……

Back over at Upolu Albert finds a HII clue. But Benjatool has plans to snake the HII for himself, so he prays and it appears in his shirt, he informs Albert & Sophie. He’ll inform the others later when his supreme being tells him to stop lying about it. Don’t worry, Te Tool, Rick, Edna & Mikayla it’s OK if the Supreme Being says it is.

Back at Savaii, Ozzy takes one and a half men out on the boat for a fishing charter. Cochran says he’s worthless but we know better. Ah, no, no Cochran you’re right, never mind.

The Immunity Challenge: Rick sees pork roast, Horton sees a Hoo, this is the gross food biting challenge and I’m fast forwarding. It’s a close big bite finish and Upolu wins by Mikayla’s dirty little mouthful. I think Mikayla is going to barf later but that’s a spoiler so you’ll have to wait. (Gosh, I’m almost MaxineFisher!)

It’s kind of interesting to watch an old episode. Yuuuuuuup!

So, how was your Thanksgiving anyway? Did you eat your turkey off a spit without using your hands? What did you do with the leftovers?

At Upolu they’re eating the pork and drinking the kool-ade. Coach is gagging me now, his greek name should be Gagimus Maximus.
I’m rambling a bit, sorry but I’m waiting on hold for ATT to get their sh!t together and fix my billing error, yeah good luck with that, holding for 10 min now. I bet I’d get some action if I were upgrading to their ultra phone X6000 multi function brain scanner but since I want money back I may be awhile. Haters.

Much time is spent on Keith, Whitney & Jim figuring out how to get rid of Ozzy’s hammock sweetheart without Keith & Whitney getting bloody and making Ozzy mad. >future spoiler<, don’t worry about it it’s a moot point.

At Babble Council, Elyse is clueless, Ozzy will get blindsided by the “tight” tribe voting her out. Cochran blathering about his retainer and his shifty teeth, his teeth aren’t the only shifty thing about him, yes? . I’m really more then a little tired of Johnnie C right now

Fast forwarding through the rest of TC. Votes tallied, Elyse off to do battle Christine and that’s just a quick stop before Elyse heads off to Loser’s Lodge for the duration. Poor Ozzy, no one to snuggle with. The tribe has spoken and so have I. Seacrest out.

Back to the Future, those who fail to summarize the past are doomed to read about it. HA! There you go kircon, a nice tidy full season of summaries.