Let me start off by saying that last Sunday night was Gay Hell. Being gay, I don't follow football and not only did I have to endure the New England Panthers play the Carolina Patriots in the world's longest football game, but Janet Jackson decided to publically endorse her plastic surgeon by whipping out her breasticle. After rinsing out my eyes with bleach, I sat down to watch Survivor. Mark Burnett has made a few changes. First of all, there are now 3 tribes, Seebooger, Crapola and Leggo Eggo, and he has also bumped up the number of media whores to 18.
Unfortunately, the additional cost of having two more castaways.means that we are still stuck in the Pearl Islands, albeit 3 new islands, with Jeff Probst, but Mark and his merry band of armed thugs did launch an invasion against a local boy scoul troop and took over their treehouse. Mark renamed it "Tribal Council".
Let's talk about the tribes:
Seebooger tribe:
Ethan--known as "Opera Boy", Ethan can sing like an angel. Damn, that's Josh Groban. What the hell was Ethan known for? Winning Survivor Africa and having a large 'fro.
Tina--Won Survivor Outback. Now the postergirl for Sundamaged Unlimited. She looks like beef jerky in a blonde wig.
Jerri--Lost Survivor Outback. Took it all off for Playboy. I think it was for the Braille edition.
Rudy--Then a crotchety old man. Now a crotchety old man. Was on Survivor Borneo.
Rupert--Recently lost Survivor Pearl Islands. Still bitter about high school.
Jenna L--Whiny mom of twins from Survivor Borneo. Still whining after all these years.
Crapola tribe:
Alicia--Survivor Outback's tough broad. Has fiery temper when confronted.
Sue--Survivor Borneo's tough broad. Has fiery temper when
confronted.
Rob M--Survivor Marquesas' tough broad. Has fiery temper when confronted.
Amber--Jerri's kid. Used prize money to get lips surgically removed from Jerri's ass.
Tom--Survivor Africa's lovable nut. Talks like he has a mouth full of prairie oysters.
Rob C--Survivor Amazon's geek. Known schemer. Lives in basement of parent's house practicing karaoke to his blowup doll collection.
Leggo Eggo tribe
Colby--Survivor Outback's reef defacer. Won everything, but lost the $1 mil.
Jenna M--Winner Survivor Amazon. Showed bony ass to millions of ogling men for small reward.
Rich--Winner Survivor Borneo. Showed flabby ass to millions of gagging men for no reward.
Kathy--Survivor Marquesas. Pissed off most of tribe at first and eventually pissed on one.
Lex--Survivor Africa's tattoo dude. Like, lost to Thong Granny.
Shii Ann--Survivor Thailand's only entry. Doesn't say much for that season, does it?
I could go into this long, drawn out recounting of the episode, but it was the same drama on every tribe. No one could light a fire. No one got along, And no one in the audience gave a rip. In the end, Seebooger lost immunity and it was high drama as Rupert had to decide to go with Jenna and Jerri or Tina and Ethan? In the end, he made the wrong decision and went with Jenna and Jerri and Leatherface was shown the door.
Next week, no one lights a fire; no one gets along and the audience still does not give a rip.
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
