Other Unnofficial Episode 7a Working Titles:
Spike TV pokes one in the Eyeball Network, Unofficial 7a Recap
When Reality Worlds collide, Unofficial 7a Recap

View of an island with the waves splashing backwards, away from the shore
Does this mean the ghost tribe is coming to haunt them?

Cue the cheesy music, but something is different:

Drake:
Rupert as Joe Schmopert, /he thinks it all real/he doesn't know/
Jon as The Hutch the a55hole
Shawn as Earl the veteran
Christa as Molly the virgin
Sandra as Ashley the rich b1tch

Trish as Dr. Pat
Melissa as Ginger, the movie star
Burton as the Professor

Morgan:
Osten as Kipsten, the gay guy
Ryan O as BRhyno the Buddy
Darrah as Gina the schemer
Tijuana as wet t-shirt/chocolate covered stripper #1. "Is this guy faking or what?"
Andrew as the Network Executive

Nicole as Maryanne, or wet t-shirt/chocolate covered stripper #2 (non-speaking role)
Ryan S as Gilligan. (or Dr. Carter from ER).
Lil as Lil, the Boy Scout Troop leader

Jeff as Ralph the smarmy host

Drunk's camp, following the tribal council:
Schmopert throws a fit at Hutch-hole.
Schmopert: "What is going on here?!, Dude you're an A-hole, why did you vote for me?"
Hutch-hole: "Hey man, One of my goals was to be the first Survivor to have sex, well Dr. Pat & I had sex- I gave her three big-O's and she told me to vote for you."
Schmopert: (Thinking “I’m a good looking guy, why didn’t Dr. Pat hook up with me?”) “You do that again and the Rupe-Man will be all over you, watch out for the Rupe-Man!

Next morning at Moron:
The Network executive complains that Kipsten has checked out.
Cut to: Kipsten near the water's edge He is wearing his flower petal swim cap, and his water wings,
while he is painting his toenails.
The Network executive also complains that boost ratings, they need more fish.
Cut to: a shot of Brhino the Buddy in the water with the spear, he is shirtless and his
man boobs are fuzzed out. Brhino stabs at a sting ray which flops loose, splashing water on Kipsten, then swims away. Kipsten freaks out and has a hissy fit-screaming, eeking, and running away with his arms flailing. He grabs the machete, starts sharpening it with a rock and stares toward the ocean with the meanest gay guy face he can muster.

Drunk’s Sea(BS) Mail:
Thinking it is merge time, the Hutch-hole says he thinks that it is merge time. Finding a crappy poem, a lock and a ring of keys. The Hutch-hole now exclaims that he hopes it’s a bondage challenge and too bad he got rid of Dr. Pat so soon (Foreshadowing her return?). Schmopert says he’s ready for another challenge, and hopes its another Sumo suit challenge, his bug-eyes staring at Hutch-hole, imagining Hutch-holes head bouncing off the turf.

At snack time, Earl and Hutch-hole argue over cooking or not cooking the coconut. Hutch-hole says everyone wants to cook the coconut but Earl, and Earl spends too much ****ing time not working. Earl calls Hutch-hole a pansy Hutch-hole, draft dodger, and that his generation did not have luxuries like cooked coconut. “In my day, we walked two miles in the snow to get our coconuts and we just ate them shell and all!” They keep yelling and cursing back and forth until its time to go to the challenge.

The twist challenge:
RalphyProbe congratulates the Survivors for making it this far in the game, but now their ghosts have come back to haunt them. Kipsten chews his nails and covers his face, peeking between his fingers to see: The GhostTribe(c) march out: the previously booted: Dr. Pat, Maryanne, Gilligan, Lil, the Boy Scout Troop leader, Ginger & Professor Burton. Looking showered and well rested, RaphlyProbe explains that the GhostTribe(c) has been on limited rations. Hutch-hole asks “If that’s true, how come they have mustard, and ketchup stains, and cookie and chip crumbs on their clothes?” RaphlyProbe retorts, Hey A**hole, I mean Hutch-hole, is that a respectful way to talk to me?” Quickly changing the subject, he asks Maryanne why are they here?
Maryanne explains they are back for revenge, baby! And RalphyProbe explains the rules: It’s a caged jail break, and if the GhostTribe© wins, Drunk and Moron will each vote out a player and two Ghosts will return, if the GhostTribe© comes in second, the loosing tribe will vote out a player and one Ghosts will return, if the GhostTribe© looses, well, it just ain’t gonna happen.

The GhostTribe© takes an early lead when Professor Burton takes out his coconut shell, sand digging machine, which quickly burrows under all three cage sections, he also pulls out his other tools: crab-claw bolt cutters and sword fish knife and shark tooth chain saw. The bolt cutters and knife make for quick disposal of the ropes and the chain saw cuts through the bamboo cell bars like butter. In the final cage, the tribes have to build a pole out of pieces of bamboo and string to reach out and get the key ring about 12 feet away. The Drunks and Morons make a valiant effort to keep up (well the Drunks at least), until the GhostTribe© discovers that one of their “pieces” of string is actually tied to their key ring at the other end. By pulling on this string and pretending to make the pole they finish first.
Other highlights: we see Dr. Pat fuzzed out, where the Hutch-hole saw first hand, and one of Molly’s holey moley’s is also fuzzed out.

Pre-Council/Eviction Ceremony:

Drunks:
Schmopert, Ashleigh, and Molly give the Hutch-hole and the General, I mean, Earl two minutes to state their case.

Morons:
The executive producer claims there is no way those “Losers” should get back in the game, that they will just vote them out next. Brhino reminds him that they will have immunity, so the network executive says they can come back if they go topless, or kiss each other. Wet t-shirt/chocolate covered stripper #1, finally asks “Who are we going to vote out?” Finally Kipsten, says he has run out of powder-puff powder and is ready to take a powder from the game. The other survivors look confused at each other, and Kipsten gives them an analogy- “ees like I am a guy on a fake reality show and I feegured it out, so now I wanna no play no more”. The Wet t-shirt/chocolate covered stripper #1 says in confessional “I supported him before when he pretended he wanted to quit, but now I’m not so sure, Is this guy faking or what? So I’m not saying anything to him now."

Drunk TC:
Schmopert has tears in his eyes, “two days in a row, we’ve been to tribal council two days in a row…I should have thought this out more before I joined this show, but what do I know, I’m just a guy from Pittsburgh.” Schmopert has already told everyone to vote out Ashley tonight, and they all agreed. When the votes are read, Earl is gone. Schmopert stands there with a shocked, bug-eyed look on his face. After Earl is voted out, Schmopert is crying uncontrollably, but tomorrow he’ll be back in his fish bowl, catching fish and in the game.

Earls Final words: Not important, this ghost is dead.

Moran TC:
Shot of the Morons sitting, waiting and looking board, they are facing where RalphyProbe should
be sitting, the camera scans their tribal torches with the contestants' pictures on them.
Finally, RalphyProbe comes in wearing immunity Pimp grass skirt, explaining that since
he has the grass skirt, none of them are immune.

Kipsten is dressed like the other girls, wearing his boxer shorts and his buff as a tube top.
He explains in yet another analogy that his BMW with the scratsh, has run out of gas.
Even though it is still a nice car with just a scrash, he can't drive without the gas, and that
he likes to have his fish cooked more. He goes on to reiterate several times that his refrigerator
has no food, his Temple has no idols, his shoes have no laces, he has a belt, but no pants
or matching shoes, He is like salsa and no chips...

The other tribemates agree that anyway you say it, Kipsten is useless.

RalphyProbe: "Per you wishes, it's time for you to return to your sad existence working for the MAN."
RalphProbe snaps Kip's tribal torch over his knee, exclaiming "Kipsten-you are DEAD to us-Go Home",
and thows his broken torch into the fire.

Kipsten's final words (a great analygy, btw) are not shown.

Next day on the Morning Show:
Kipsten complains that RalphyProbe is not a real man and a coward.
When asked why his final words were not shown he exclaims "whoever did dis incriminated demselves,
I pull your pants down-right now!"

RalphyProbe is later quoted as "Kipsten is the biggest sissy in Surviror history"

Next Week:
Who will the GhostTribe© return to the game?
Don’t miss the first 15 minutes! (or is it the first 15 minutes, after the 30 minute recap?)