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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
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"The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues"
GunsAndRoses 176 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-08-05, 01:00 PM (EST)
 
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"The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-08-05 AT 01:24 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 10-08-05 AT 01:12 PM (EST) On Friday's episode, Iyanla wanted to uncover Jill's issues with her weight and tried to analyze her "bigness" by pointing out that Jill uses food to "stuff" her feelings, etc. Iyanla, herself, is OVERWEIGHT, and in other episodes has actually said something to the effect "as long as their is a size that can fit me then I'm OK and will keep getting bigger". It's also quite obvious that Iyanla is actually heavier this season than she was last season hiding behind layers of hideous clothing. Iyanla would appear more credible if she would address and tackle her own issues of weight, and it's hypocritcal to say the least, that in one breath she teaches self-love and acceptance of one's body and in another she can't wait to point out to others their weight problem. She should get to her own core issues of why she herself is overweight. Another hypocritcal thing she did with Jill was point out Jill's flair for DRAMA. Well Iyanla is all about dramatics herself, especially in the flamoyant way that she speaks and addresses the HG's and in her own body language and gestures. 
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Opuriah 8 desperate attention whore postings
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10-08-05, 01:36 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
What exactly is your point?Is it that we must be "perfect" in order to recognize our imperfections?? If this is the case, then every Pope, Minister, Preacher, Teacher and Doctors, according to you are all hyporcites, because they always point out our flaws,and our need to better ourselves, emotionally, physically, or otherwise, while they themselves possess the same human imperfections. We are all work in progress! So try again!
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GunsAndRoses 176 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-08-05, 01:52 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-08-05 AT 01:54 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 10-08-05 AT 01:53 PM (EST) I didn't say Iyanla had to be "perfect". So maybe you need to "try again"! If a doctor comes to me and tells me to quit smoking while he has a cigarette dangling from his mouth then that makes him hypocritcal. (Human but nonetheless a hypocrite). Of course he is human but as he is trying to "heal" me of my addiction and/or my habit, it speaks volumes about his own issues and addictions that he hasn't addressed. Are you saying that Iyanla is NOT a hypocrite because she is a work in progress? Well if that is the case than she shouldn't be speaking out of both sides of her mouth, i.e., in one episode saying that she is embracing her fatness and then in yesterday's episode pointing out to Jill that she has food issues. So Does Iyanla have food issues or is she just embracing her own fatness. She needs to pick a story and stick with it if she wants to appear credible and Iyanla needs to TRY AGAIN and follow her own advice and figure out what is eating her since she has put on a lot of weight this season.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-08-05, 02:07 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I am much more bothered by Iyanla starting a relationship with a married man, even if she went on to marry him when he divorced, and then giving marital advice. How can she be taken seriously wen giving advice to Jacqlyn and Michael when she has her own baggage about adultery?
I think a relationship should end before one begins another, and I think that good people of the world honor the social contracts and don't sleep with other women's husbands. To take advice regarding relationships from someone who doesn't believe in that would make no sense for me. Maybe it is fine with other people, and those people can listen to her advice. As for me, I discount nearly everything she has to say about cheating, how to feel about your father cheating, how to deal with your spouse cheating, how to feel about the other woman and all related topics as coming from a poisoned well.
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femmesacre 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 07:25 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-10-05 AT 07:28 PM (EST)I am one of the many who knew of Iyanla before SO through her books and tapes. I was actually inspired by her honesty in "Yesterday I Cried" to face the things about herself that enabled her to do things that were dishonorable, particularly in love relationships. I don't really get from her that she's an advocate of cheating, or condones it seeing that she was in an adulterous relationship that resulted in marriage. On the contrary, I see her truthfulness about the role she played as honest insight into the psyche of people who are in the process of learning life lessons of honoring truth. So, don't throw the baby out with the bath water on this one. As in your face and at times overwhelming as she can be, there is also much wisdom born of "experience" in her words.
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silverlongjohns 40 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-08-05, 07:19 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I believe the issue is not that Jill is overweight but the reasons behind it.
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lajdixon 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-12-05, 01:18 AM (EST)
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92. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN!!!
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L_11 198 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-08-05, 07:58 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I agree with GnR. I have respect for IV, but if someone who was her size lectured me about my weight I would...I don't know what I would do.I lost 30 pounds last year, and I nearly died in the process. It ain't that easy. I'm sure Lisa and TJ would concur. Jill may have issues, but I don't think her *weight* is one of them (IMHO). And I support GnR. If a doc told me to quit smoking with a cig hanging out of HIS mouth, I'd have a fit. Hypocrite? I say yeah. P.S. Thanks Bebo. And AyaK and Survivorblows. Thanks and thanks again.
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rachel4 50 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-08-05, 08:14 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
You know, the fact that Iyanla has overweight issues doesn't preclude her from advising others. And as another poster stated "lecturing someone about weight". She is not lecturing Jill about her weight, she only pointed out that staying overweight is hiding or stuffing issues that she has not yet dealt with and thus, these feelings, emotions, experiences, have been pushed down with food. The fact that Iyanla is overweight herself is not the point, she is there to help the ladies become aware of and work through THEIR issues. Iyanla is not seeking therapeutic assistance about her weight and has not come to the S/O house to get help. She is there to help others deal with THEIR issues. I am sure she is aware of and dealing with her own weight issues in private. Maybe she is not ready yet to stop stuffing herself. But as I said in the beginning, her personal choices does not preclude her from advising others. As for the going with a married man, she had to deal with that issue in private and it was or is very painful I would believe as I think she is no longer married to him. So she has learned a very hard and profound lesson in this, perhaps that is why she is stuffing herself. Still no reason not to advise others, in fact, life experience is certainly an asset in this field.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-08-05, 09:55 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Actually I think that she was "the other woman" showed in her interactions with Towanda, Sommer, Michael/Jacqlyn and Cheryl/Troy, and probably some others I'm not remembering right now. Personally I think Iyanla is someone my grandmother would describe as "having no more morals than a cat." My cats are pretty moral, but they don't understand marital vows or that we are all meant to honor them, by not sleeping with the spouses of another. My cats though don't pretend to be qualified to give marital advice. They don't act as though calling oneself a "lifecoach" is the same as being a trained LICENSED psychologist.
Lifecoaches should give fashion advice, advice on how to get money for college, advice on how to get organized, advice on how to set realistic goals, and how to develop a plan on how to get to those goals. They are not qualified to talk about sexual abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, eating disorders, substance abuse, borderline personalities... or any of the other areas Iyanla (and Rhonda to a lesser degree) blunder into.
That Iyanla is a hypocrite is bad, but what's worse is that she is an amateur psychologist. That's too important a job to be left to the self-appointed. (not like television critic :})
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rachel4 50 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-08-05, 10:56 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
The analogy between cats and Iyanla...well I just don't understand it. Iyanla is NOT a hypocrite nor is she an amateur psychologist. She is an educated (lawyer by trade), motivational speaker and a priestess in her religion. She has multiple tapes and CDs on life, dreams, transformation, relating to the world, acts of faith, etc. etc. She has written and has had published many books. She didn't just drop out of a cloud onto the S/O set. Do you think they would let an amateur psychologist come on the show as a life coach? Rhonda is not a licensed psychologist either, why isn't she being called a hypocrite. Whats different is that Iyanla put her story out there for others to learn from. We know little about Rhonda's background; she can have some skeletons in her closet also? The show's producers would not take a chance on being sued by placing unqualified people to coach others, if they had not thoroughly investigated their credentials, background, and their qualifications to do the job. You have to be careful how you judge people, you have not walked in their shoes, nor do we share their histories! Obviously if she was hired as a life coach, she is qualified. Her tragic past and her mistakes is no secret, she talks about it on her tapes and on the web site Women of Wisdom. She is a talented and wise woman!
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-08-05, 11:11 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I don't dispute that Iyanla is a priestess or a speaker or an author. I dispute that she is qualified to offer advice on topics as serious as sexual abuse, child abuse, rape, eating disorders etc.
I don't think Rhonda oversteps her qualifications as often or as heinously as Iyanla.
I also think B-M is taking a chance allowing this to continue, and that Dr. Katz was brought in to try to mitigate the risk.
My biggest problem with Iyanla is her credentials, but I also have a problem with her morals. Her baggage colors her advice to the houseguests so as to discount the painful effects of infidelity and adultery. I wouldn't want Rhonda giving advice to someone with a murderer/suicide in their family either, but I haven't seen her do that.
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golfinmom 157 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 01:55 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I think the person most qualified to speak on an issue is someone who has been through the same situation herself. Iyanla has made mistakes, admitted to them, corrected them and is helping others in the same boat.
I agree with Rachel4 that I would not want to be held accountable for mistakes made when I was young and very, very naive.
I give Iyanly props for putting her story out there for everyone to know, and hopefully learn from.
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-09-05, 02:27 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>>I don't dispute that Iyanla is
>>a priestess or a speaker
>>or an author. I dispute
>>that she is qualified to
>>offer advice on topics as
>>serious as sexual abuse, child
>>abuse, rape, eating disorders etc.
>>
>>I don't think Rhonda oversteps her
>>qualifications as often or as
>>heinously as Iyanla.
>>I also think B-M is taking
>>a chance allowing this to
>>continue, and that Dr. Katz
>>was brought in to try
>>to mitigate the risk.
>>My biggest problem with Iyanla is
>>her credentials, but I also
>>have a problem with her
>>morals. Her baggage colors her
>>advice to the houseguests so
>>as to discount the painful
>>effects of infidelity and adultery.
>>I wouldn't want Rhonda giving
>>advice to someone with a
>>murderer/suicide in their family either,
>>but I haven't seen her
>>do that.
>
>What about Andy Paige? Her
>twin sister murdered her boyfriend
>and then committed suicide.
>So Rhonda did give advice
>to someone with a murderer/suicide
>in their family.
>
>I am in school getting my
>psychology degree and I want
>to help families who have
>children with autism. However
>my little brother has autism,
>so should I not help
>others in the same boat?
> Someone in my shoes
>is the best type of
>person to help others who
>have children with autism because
>I know everything there is
>to know about autism and
>have lived with it for
>11 years. But hey,
>why use our own life
>experiences to help others....that would
>be a waste now wouldn't
>it The MAJOR difference i see between what you will become and what Rhonda and IV profess to be is you will have the degree from college cerifying your credentials.
All Rhonda has is a marketing degree and IV a lawyer......but it does seem anyone can become a LC. til LC's are regualted as are many other professionals, LC's will continue to give misguided info.
See, I disagree with the statemtn that Rhonda and IV don't overstep their bounds.....they do everyday-neither have clinical credentials to access some of the ladies problems.
Example: IV caged Renee because IV said she was a brat ONLY to find out Renee was not a brat, she had a major problem. And all IV did was give a half arse apology to Renee still trying to project on to Renee that it was her fault she got herself caged. Would a professional be able to get away with caging someone? The caging was done for drama, to get the viewers t continue watching.
As I stated in another thread, I watch the show but only for its entertainment value...and adding the following: It is like watching a cheap soap opera where the *actors* don't get paid for their performances.
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femmesacre 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 08:37 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-10-05 AT 08:41 PM (EST)jelnova wrote
"I don't dispute that Iyanla is a priestess or a speaker or an author. I dispute that she is qualified to offer advice on topics as serious as sexual abuse, child abuse, rape, eating disorders etc.
I don't think Rhonda oversteps her qualifications as often or as heinously as Iyanla.
I also think B-M is taking a chance allowing this to continue, and that Dr. Katz was brought in to try to mitigate the risk.
My biggest problem with Iyanla is her credentials, but I also have a problem with her morals. Her baggage colors her advice to the houseguests so as to discount the painful effects of infidelity and adultery. I wouldn't want Rhonda giving advice to someone with a murderer/suicide in their family either, but I haven't seen her do that."
Why negate the validity of people's life experiences BECAUSE they experienced it?
Would it be preferable to go to someone who studied counselling and psychotherapy from a completely theoretical perspective, and thus trust that they can relate to one's life issues enough to give 'healing' advice? For instance, who better to give advice on motherhood: the woman who's raised her children from infancy to adulthood OR the college graduate who studied child psychology?... Experience is the teacher of life. To me, putting heavy, unbalanced emphasis on someone's quote un-quote creditials versus their life experience is valuing appearances more than substance. What makes a person qualified to give life advice? The quality of their counsel. That comes from experience. 
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PuppyGirl 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-20-05, 01:53 AM (EST)
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112. "RE: The Hypocrisy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I so agree with you. Mothers do the job of coach and psychologist every day and so far, no one asks for a diploma from Yale.
A smoking doctor or a non-smoking doctor's advice to quit smoking is the same good advice either way. It doesn't hurt them if you don't take that advice; it only hurts you.As to whether Life Coaching is of value or not is only up to the client. No one is forcing anyone to be coached.
I love coaching. I am a coach and I am soon to begin my certification program. I help people every day. I am so blessed to be of service to my clients. They are amazing people one and all.
Starting Over is a TV show that shows a type of coaching that plays well on TV and is not necessarily what 'normal' coaching is, however, I believe most houseguests get a lot of value and so many more at home also benefit. The SOGs have free will and can (and sometimes do) leave at any time should they feel they are not getting the support they came for. How lucky we are to live in a world of choice! Best Regards,
Robin "You don't get to choose how you're going to die or when.
You only get to choose how you're going to live, now." Joan Baez
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Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-08-05, 11:20 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
In my opinion, Iyanla has 'issues' galore and wouldn't be someone I'd seek for advice or mentoring. First off, she's a drama queen. She's unable (unwilling, perhaps) to convey her thoughts without speaking, acting, or dressing in a theatrical way. Makes me wonder why she feels the need to add all that. I wish she'd drop the facade and just be herself. I think I'd probably respect her more if she would toned down her act. As far as she and Jill both being overweight I don't think that necessarily makes Iyanla the wrong LC. It's not about extra pounds, anyway, it's more about extra luggage. Heck, who knows, maybe Jill will end up helping Iyanla become more real and aware of her own shortcomings.
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summerwatcher 14 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 06:44 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>
>
>
>> She is an educated
>>(lawyer by trade), motivational speaker
>>and a priestess in her
>>religion. She has multiple
>>tapes and CDs on life,
>>dreams, transformation, relating to the
>>world, acts of faith, etc.
>>etc. She has written
>>and has had published many
>>books.
>
>What religion is Iyanla? I've never
>heard of a " priestess
>in her
>>religion". What exactly is a priestess? Call me silly but I have only heard of a woman being called a "priestess" when they are in a cult or satan worship! If someone could please explain this one to me I would appreciate it. Thanks  One of the wonderful things about Starting Over is that we get to learn so much about other people, other cultures, and other ideas. According to her books, Iyanla is both a Christian and a Yoruba priestess neither of which is either a cult or satan worship. It looks like this is going to be an interesting season. Already the women have started off with a team-building exercise. This has certainly helped to establish their identities in the group. The show has also taken the advice of last season's message board and placed boxes of Kleenex within easy reach of the houseguests. It will be interesting to see what else has changed because of comments on the boards. 
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rachel4 50 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-09-05, 02:05 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-09-05 AT 02:07 PM (EST)>
>
>
>> She is an educated
>>(lawyer by trade), motivational speaker
>>and a priestess in her
>>religion. She has multiple
>>tapes and CDs on life,
>>dreams, transformation, relating to the
>>world, acts of faith, etc.
>>etc. She has written
>>and has had published many
>>books.
>
>What religion is Iyanla? I've never
>heard of a " priestess
>in her
>>religion". What exactly is a priestess? Call me silly but I have only heard of a woman being called a "priestess"
when they are in a cult or satan worship! If someone could please explain this one to me I would appreciate it. Thanks She is priestess in the Yoruba religion (Your - ra - ba, with the emphasis on the first syllable). African-based, I believe. Ironically, they don't believe in the Satan, but in God (higher power) and the Holy Spirit. I went to one of many web sites on her, but I knew this already because I have many of her CDs and tapes for a long time. Going to the web site, I also learned (I didn't know that), she is a "doctoral candidate". So her education may be higher than or in line with Rhonda's. To learn more, you can visit: http://authors.aalbc.com/iyanla.htm/
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-09-05, 02:15 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>The analogy between cats and Iyanla...well
>I just don't understand it.
>
>
>Iyanla is NOT a hypocrite nor
>is she an amateur psychologist.
> She is an educated
>(lawyer by trade), motivational speaker
>and a priestess in her
>religion. She has multiple
>tapes and CDs on life,
>dreams, transformation, relating to the
>world, acts of faith, etc.
>etc. She has written
>and has had published many
>books. She didn't just
>drop out of a cloud
>onto the S/O set.
>Do you think they would
>let an amateur psychologist come
>on the show as a
>life coach? Rhonda is
>not a licensed psychologist either,
>why isn't she being called
>a hypocrite. Whats different
>is that Iyanla put her
>story out there for others
>to learn from. We
>know little about Rhonda's background;
>she can have some skeletons
>in her closet also?
>
>The show's producers would not take
>a chance on being sued
>by placing unqualified people to
>coach others, if they had
>not thoroughly investigated their credentials,
>background, and their qualifications to
>do the job.
>
>You have to be careful how
>you judge people, you have
>not walked in their shoes,
>nor do we share their
>histories! Obviously if she
>was hired as a life
>coach, she is qualified.
>Her tragic past and her
>mistakes is no secret, she
>talks about it on her
>tapes and on the web
>site Women of Wisdom.
>She is a talented and
>wise woman!
The show was being threathened with a suit, tis why they left Chicago and went o CA.
Ca is laxed in who can call themselves a therapists, a professional,an LC etc...much more so than in other states. Neuther Rhonda nor IV have any abckground in therapy. Rhonda ahving a degree in marketing and IV one in law does not qualify them to dig as deep as they do BUT longs there are ladies out there who want their 15mins of fame these two will continue. Longs as there are people who are willing to buy their books and believe in every word they say, they will be richer and the people buying the books poorer. Both are out to make the almighty bucks in any way, shape, or form they can. You (you equals anyone reading this) really think UV didn't charge Kim, second season, for lessons on how to be an LC? If people watching this show would realize it on to make money for everyone but the ladies on it.....the ladies are on it for their 15mins of fame in hopes of extending that exposure when outside the house. BOTH Rhonda and IV are hypocritical..... Rhonda in saying one dosn't need a man to get along yet pushes jsut about every single female under her to date while on the show.
IV is the pastwas a mistress for about 5 years (they then departed and met again yars later to marry) yet, for ratings sakes, allowed Sommer to be labled with a scarlet letter. IV is fat and as she said, there are always reasons why one over eats. I feel she herself needs to cure whatever is ailing hdr before she can advise another on her weight.
But it does go to show that anyone, if they have a mind to it, can fool a majority of the public into believing that what they know is the way for the cure all...get some to even attend conferneces that cost plenty and to buy their books, which also are costly. Yes, I do watch the show but watch it for its entertainment factor, neither of these LC's ahve anything to teach me because they are so contradictory and hypocritical.
I don't follow these two with blind trust nor believe everything they say as being the ultimate cure.
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-10-05, 07:17 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-10-05 AT 07:49 AM (EST)>Ashlaine, From reading your post
>I gather that you don't
>beleive in much of anything.
>This is not a bash,
>just an observation. I feel
>sorry for you because you
>have such a jaded, negative,
>assume the worst from everyone
>and everything outlook. I
>bet it is very hard
>to be happy that way.
>
>
>You say both are out just
>to make the almighty buck
>and get their 15 min.
>of fame. How do
>you know what is in
>their heart and head? You
>don't. That is a
>huge assumtion on your part.
> Of course the show
>is on the air to
>make money for the production
>company. That is the business
>end. This does not preclude
>the LCs from being real,
>gunuine, caring people. And...didn't they
>have more than 15 min.
>of fame BEFORE this show
>was even created? Well considering this thread is NOT about me, I would ask you reply to my words and not about me personally. thank you
And instead of being so quick to attack me, I never said the LC's wanted their 15mins of fame....I said the ladies on the show did.
And were they famous before the show, meaning the LC's. Myself and a majoritu of others(per the first season official boards) had no idea who they were. Course first season it was Rhonda and Rana.
.
I feel they are on to make the all mighty bucks because they do advertise their books and seminars at different times throughout the season. I say they are there to make the all mighty bucks cause they surely don't give their *advice* out for free. TV had given them exposure to those that didn't know of them and or their books.
And as asssumptions: I don't feel saying IV is not so good when she tells the overweight ladies they ahve issuses and that is why they are overwieght, when she, herself, is definitely over weight, which means she has issues of her own.
One must fix one's inner self before one can help another. IV caged renee for all the wrongs reasons.....is that sound advice or a sound assignment? How many professional could get away, in real life, caging their patient without having reprecussions?
Yes, it is all about the all might bukcs, more drama, more money....if caging, staging breakins, haivng a known drug/alcohlic (Wow, the crew knew just where the liquir was-how convient), having explosive type personaliies (Tess and ChrisH), etc on the show is for but drama which brings in the dollars.
After wathcing the seris they ahd about reality shows, nothing suprises me anymore.....and S.O. is no different than the other reality shows...only difference is their pay off is low comapred to the money most contestants get on these shows. Another example of the show wanting the dollars for themselves.
And each reality show has contestants that say I grew, I learned jsut like the ladies on S.O.etc so the end factor in these shows is money.
The show, in its honeymoon stage, (first six months) actually was a show that was a decent. But once the female producer (and sorry forgot her name) died, the show (now ran by a male) went downhill in its original format.
The drama slowly crept in, noticed it a lot when chrisH entered the house. And then the fire, wow, camera crew was there to catch it all on film, but wasn't there for the so called break in, even the still cameras picked up no one moving around. IF the pic of the empty beds is actually from that night, then why didn't the camera pick up the ladies leaving their beds?
One must realize that drama and money do indeed pay a big factor in whether a show stays on the air or not. First season, it was debateable whether S.O. would even be back for another season. Many stations ahve dropped S.O. for other programming with bigger known names that will make them money.
Will say this: IV is much more dramatic and better actress than Ehonda, who actually has acted on tv: Married With Children being one of those shows.
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divawahine 51 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-21-05, 05:59 AM (EST)
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115. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Sorry, that is what I meant (smiles).
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-11-05, 05:50 AM (EST)
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73. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>What I don't get is, if
>you don't like Iyanla why
>are you watching starting over?
> If you feel she
>is a fraud why watch?
>
>There is too much being put
>on this subject. If
>I had a problem with
>a person I surely would
>not continue to watch the
>show. My daughter has
>a lifecoach/social worker and she
>is alot like Ronda and
>I love that about her.
> She can read the
>crap my daughter puts off
>and tell her like it
>is.
>
>Lisa, Blessedmomtoo7greatkids!
>Also, mom to Penny the Boxer!
>Once again you are questioning the poster about personal things which is against the rules of this site.
Aahh the show is like a trashy novel.....a cross between Springer and anna Nicole....entertainment..can't live with it can't stop watching......
A professional LC, out in the real world, would never ever cage their client nor send them out in baby clothes.
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aishafreespirit 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-12-05, 00:05 AM (EST)
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90. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
From my understanding Jills weight issues were addressed by a doctor as an important health risk. If IV is over weight but her weight is not a health risk then she is not being a hypocrit. She can embrace her fatness while teaching healthier life styles to Jill whose life depends on it. It is also to remember to attack the message and not the messenger.
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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-08-05, 09:48 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I LOVE your nic Gunsandroses!COOL!I agree with you by the way!Peace!
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GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-08-05, 10:46 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Don't assume every big woman has issues. Some of us are just big. Jill happens to have issues.
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silverlongjohns 40 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-08-05, 11:58 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Rhonda's life has not been any bed of roses either. When she was 14 she witnessed her parents murder/suicide, she's been an alcoholic, attempted suicide and has spent time in jail, married and divorced. I would think that to be an effective life coach, one would have to have some familiarity with issues they're coaching.
I have a friend who "separated from a girlfriend in a rather messy manner." Now I know he's given to overstatemnt and it apparently wasn't considered by the authorities to be serious enough for any jail time or record but part of his sentencing was that he had to take a life coach course. He's the unlikliest life coach you'd ever want to mean. It did turn things around for him though and he treats life, people and himself a lot differently than he did.
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kcoxe 132 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 02:43 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Number one, It's not about Iyanla.Number two, You say, "She can't wait to point out others weight problems"
I disagree. That sounds so childish. Iyanla is not that shallow. It is not a judgement on Jills appearance. It is an observation of the connection of weight gain and depression coinsiding. Jill is not comfortable with her weight. On the other hand Iyanla is comfortable as long as "there is a size that can fit her" Her well adjusted nature shows you that she possesses "self love". Number three, There is nothing wrong with being dramatic. Some people are just more "colorful" than others. The detramental part about Jills drama is that she uses it in a negative way. She hurts herself and others. Her drama at the radio station got her fired. Number four, Iyanla comes from a very checkered past. She was the giver and the receiver of bad behavior. That makes it even more impressive that she has gotten to where she is today. She committed adultry in the past with her husband. I bet she isn't proud of the way she got with him. On the other hand, she has learned from her mistakes and passes on the wisdom. She has walked in the shoes of many of the house guest and that makes her more qualified than if she had had this perfect little past. That is a good thing, not a hypocritical thing. It would be hypocritical if bad behavior continued.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-09-05, 05:24 PM (EST)
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32. "why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
Ok, a couple of things. At least only one Iyanla fan has implied that color has something to do with why I don't like her. I could scan in my wedding picture to prove that's not true, but I shouldn't have to. I'll just say that if one believes that everyone who dislikes Iyanla does so out of prejudice one should imagine for a moment that the critics are coming from a place of innocence and reread the argument again.Rhonda giving advice on murder/suicide is wrong as well, but that wasn't what Andi came to the house to work on. On the other hand one can easily name residents (single and couples) who came to work on adultery issues, and got Iyanla's advice. WHy it's different that using the benefit of life experience, like a mother of an autistic child helping those with autistic children. Iyanla WAS the other woman. That means she was not innocent. I see no sign of her repenting of that and I see that experience behind her lousy advice to Towanda and Jacqlyn. I didn't see Rhonda giving murders a free ride because she was a murderess. I did see Iyanla telling people that cheating was none of their business, because Iyanla was herself encouraging someone to cheat, and then married him. But both lifecoaches need to get a grip and remember they are lifecoaches, a mostly made up title that does NOT mean psychologist. Does this mean I'm an unhappy person? Does this mean I should be treated with disdain and pity and condescension? I am not unhappy, I am aware that this is an entertainment show. I watch it because I like to watch group dynamics. If the six women were in the house with no life coaches I would enjoy it more. It may be that people who have received decent therapy and/or received psychology training are better able to see the danger of self proclaimed experts burying women in mud, or putting them in cages. (both Iyanla's efforts!) Maybe I shouldn't waste my keystrokes to point out to a fan club that the empress has no clothes, but maybe there is a woman out there who will seek out a TRAINED, LICENSED psychologist instead of watching this entertainment show as though it is real.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-09-05, 06:28 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
No, no, you misunderstand. I'm contrasting the two. The reason I'm not as angry about Rhonda working with Andi (as another poster complained) is that Rhonda was just a witness. Iyanla was a participant.
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rachel4 50 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-09-05, 07:53 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
What qualifies you to call another person a fraud? Based on what evidence? Another poster said that she watches the show for purely entertainment and would watch the show even if there were only six women in the house and no life coaches. Where is the entertainment value in that? These women came to find help for their issues and they TRUST that the life coaches know enough to help them and they do and have. Kim was helped in her situation by Iyanla. She left the house more in touch with her contribution to the family dynamics, a renewed relationship with her sister, and was able to purge a lot of negative impressions she held about her past, and also release some of the guilt she felt from her past. I would say that is a LOT of help. She did not leave the house as she came. Even the look on her face and her interactions with others had changed tremendously. If people want to think poorly of a person's efforts, I guess they can..it is a free world. But I have yet to hear any evidence that either of the coaches did any harm to these ladies. I have seen a lot of success in that hidden issues were brought to the light, guilt feelings were expressed and purged, they were able to see how they contributed to the problems they were encountering, and they were given emotional/psychological insights and tools so that they did not repeat the same mistakes again. They left with more than they came in with. They left wiser, more satisfied, and with a clearer understanding of the dynamics of their behavior and their interactions with family members and other key players in their life. I would say that is a lot of help. Some licensed PSYCHOLOGISTS don't even do as well as the LCs have, and they have clients going to them for years and accomplished little or nothing. They too are working for the "almighty buck"; the clients are never cured nor have improved functioning or understanding of the dynamics of their problems. But the psychologists still keep them coming and are paid well for their services! I think this "unqualified" and "unlicensed" talk serves another purpose and it is more about not appreciating certain people having this type of authority in dealing with the women, and being seen as professionals, as advisors, as life coaches. It ruffles some feathers, IMHO. In other words, there is another agenda here and it has nothing to do with being trained, licensed, or anything...its simply bias, plainly put. That's all. And it is transparent.
Call it a chicken by any other name, and it is still a chicken!
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PrincessBride 24 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 08:10 PM (EST)
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38. "Iyanla is a fraud, hypocrite and a drama queen " |
I think people are entitled to their opinions and it has nothing to do with "ruffling feathers" or having a "beef" with the LC's. I agree with Guns and Roses and Jelnova and others who are stating their OPINIONS about Iyanla without mincing words. If people are threatened by other's opinions then they need to skip over posts that they don't agree with.GUNSANDROSES thanks for starting this thread because I too feel that Iyanla is a hypocrite! I just watched the show and Jill isn't there to tackle weight issues. When Iyanla showed a photo on the plasma showing Jill in a thinner time in her life, Iyanla immediately zoned in on that and was IMO condescening towards Jill saying "so what happened here"? kind of like putting her down for regaining the weight! and when Jill said she lost weight because of her health, Iyanla immediately corrected her and said well you didn't keep it off, or something like that! Jill's issues are many, including her relationship with her mother, etc., but Iyanla showes such little tolerance regarding Jill's weight issue. Jill said she was always the "big" girl even when she was very young, so Iyanla should let her be just that. Iyanla is certainly not comfortable with her weight because I remember her on Oprah complaining about it so for the poster who said that some people who are fat don't have issues, who is to say that Jill isn't comfortable in her own skin? After all, she didn't bring her weight, Iyanla did and made it an issue.
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watch 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 11:14 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
Of course all the women have been helped tremendously. Perhaps it's the show's editing that makes Iyanla and others seem so over-the-top. This is a great show, but there is a lot we don't see. That may be why Iyanla and sometimes Rhonda say stuff about weight or whatever when we don't expect it - because the have actually talked to these ladies for a longer time than we have seen.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-09-05, 11:40 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
It was me that said I would watch and enjoy it more if it were six women and no life coaches.
What qualifies me to say Iyanla is a fraud? It looks like a duck... If Iyanla pretends to be qualified to give psychological help, I and anyone else in the world are qualified to say "no, you're not".
You say that ALL the women are better off. How do you know that? Is Karen better off now that they screwed her up so badly she wound up having her problems made sport of on tv and THEN got the real help she needed? Is Towanda better off? Is Sommer better off? I think all three of those women are obviously worse off.
Please expand on what you think my agenda is, so that I may disprove your assumptions, since I can tell you ahead of time I have no agenda. But without specifics of what you think it is, I can't disprove your theory.
As I stated above I have a real problem with people insinuating that anyone who doesn't like Iyanla is biased and I'm not about to scan and send my wedding photo but I can assure you I am not biased against people of color, but I am biased against people who practice psychotherapy without qualifications.
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kcoxe 132 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 10:00 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
Re: rachel4 post 37Just allow me to say...AMEN Drama/Smama Who cares what the producers do to create drama. Let them have their "fun" to bring in the ratings. This has nothing to do with MOST of the women coming out of the house a better person than when they went in. Can you Iyanla bashers at least admit that? Isn't that the bottom line? I don't agree with every method they use such as the cage thing, and insisting on make overs and dates when that has little to do with the personal growth the women are seeking. I am not some completely snowed little sheep. On the other hand, between their books, lectures, tv show, I have gathered a wealth of insight from both. I have gone to several "Mental Health Professionals" off and on throught the years. Had to change a lot because of moves or different insurance coverage. All of these people were "licensed" and "qualified". I have to say, Big Woop. I was ALMOST impressed with one of them and then SHE moved. The rest were useless. Big waste of money. I got much more out of talking with girl friends. I don't believe the title "licensed" is the be all and end all of quality counceling. Not even close. As far as Rhonda and Iyanla go. I don't care what kind of degrees come after their names. I am intelligent enough to know when someone is making an impact on me that my heart and soul respond to and when they are just talking trash. Finding someone with the kind of insight that R and Iv possess is rare. I am glad I can take advantage of it by watching the show and just ignore what the ratings getters have to do to keep it on the air. R and Iv don't edit this thing you know. There are 2 things going on here. The business of making money for a tv show/production company/etc. And, the business of healing broken people. You can choose which one you wish to grab on to.
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Phredster 85 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-10-05, 06:19 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
>No, no, you misunderstand. I'm contrasting
>the two. I'm not sure how anyone can misunderstand what you said. On the one hand you said that Iyanla was "the other woman" and therefore guilty, so she had no business giving advice to women whose husbands or fathers had 'strayed', especially when that advice demonstrated that she was not sympathetic to the women. But then you said, and I quote "I don't see Rhonda giving murders a free ride because she was a murderess". Your comparison rests on the assumption that Rhonda was a murderer, and I am quite certain this is not the case.
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kcoxe 132 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 10:19 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
>I'm sorry you are having trouble
>understanding my writing style. I
>am saying that Iyanla is
>an adultress, and it shows
>in her advice. I was
>accused of giving Rhonda a
>free ride and I was
>pointing out the fallacy of
>that argument by saying my
>critic was equating the two
>lifecoaches inaccurately.
>The quote that you gave is
>my imitation of what my
>critic is saying, and as
>you point out is false.
>
>But one more time:
>Iyanla is an adultress and I
>have a problem with it.
>
>Rhonda witnessed a murder and I
>don't have a problem with
>it.
>
>And for the third time to
>another critic.
>One can dislike Iyanla without being
>a racist and I resent
>the implications otherwise. I don't think for a minute that you are a racist. What's that got to do with the price of eggs in China? You say Iv is an adultress. Don't you mean WAS an adultress. Have you never behaved in a way in your past that you were ashamed of. She doesn't condone adultry. You are looking a the very small picture. The black and white of it. I don't mean color by that, I mean the cut and dry, right and wrong without any other information. I can feel the "hidden agenda" in many of the posters opinions.
Our thoughts are usually the product of our experience. I include myself in this observation. There is intollerence for some sins more than others. I get the feeling that you have experienced the fall out of an adultress situation at some point in your life. Either directly or indirectly, but it wrote on the slate of who you are as Dr. Phil would say. I say this because you keep emphasizing the Iv/adultry thing.
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jelnova 30 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-10-05, 08:03 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
Kcoxe, I was responding to Rachel4 implying that I have a secret agenda based on Iyanla's color.
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-10-05, 07:56 AM (EST)
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46. "RE: why I call Iyanla a fraud" |
>Ok, a couple of things. At
>least only one Iyanla fan
>has implied that color has
>something to do with why
>I don't like her. I
>could scan in my wedding
>picture to prove that's not
>true, but I shouldn't have
>to. I'll just say that
>if one believes that everyone
>who dislikes Iyanla does so
>out of prejudice one should
>imagine for a moment that
>the critics are coming from
>a place of innocence and
>reread the argument again.
>
>Rhonda giving advice on murder/suicide is
>wrong as well, but that
>wasn't what Andi came to
>the house to work on.
>On the other hand one
>can easily name residents (single
>and couples) who came to
>work on adultery issues, and
>got Iyanla's advice.
>
>WHy it's different that using the
>benefit of life experience, like
>a mother of an autistic
>child helping those with autistic
>children. Iyanla WAS the other
>woman. That means she was
>not innocent. I see no
>sign of her repenting of
>that and I see that
>experience behind her lousy advice
>to Towanda and Jacqlyn. I
>didn't see Rhonda giving murders
>a free ride because she
>was a murderess. I did
>see Iyanla telling people that
>cheating was none of their
>business, because Iyanla was herself
>encouraging someone to cheat, and
>then married him.
>
>But both lifecoaches need to get
>a grip and remember they
>are lifecoaches, a mostly made
>up title that does NOT
>mean psychologist.
>
>Does this mean I'm an unhappy
>person? Does this mean I
>should be treated with disdain
>and pity and condescension? I
>am not unhappy, I am
>aware that this is an
>entertainment show. I watch it
>because I like to watch
>group dynamics. If the six
>women were in the house
>with no life coaches I
>would enjoy it more. It
>may be that people who
>have received decent therapy and/or
>received psychology training are better
>able to see the danger
>of self proclaimed experts burying
>women in mud, or putting
>them in cages. (both Iyanla's
>efforts!) Maybe I shouldn't waste
>my keystrokes to point out
>to a fan club that
>the empress has no clothes,
>but maybe there is a
>woman out there who will
>seek out a TRAINED, LICENSED
>psychologist instead of watching this
>entertainment show as though it
>is real. My thoughts I'v been trying to type....you said it soooooo much better than I, or is that me?
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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-10-05, 07:05 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>Number one, It's not about Iyanla.
>
>
>Number two, You say, "She
>can't wait to point out
>others weight problems"
> I disagree. That sounds so
>childish. Iyanla is not that
>shallow. It is not
>a judgement on Jills appearance.
>It is an observation of
>the connection of weight gain
>and depression coinsiding. Jill is
>not comfortable with her weight.
> On the other hand
>Iyanla is comfortable as long
>as "there is a size
>that can fit her" Her
>well adjusted nature shows you
>that she possesses "self love".
>
>
>Number three, There is nothing
>wrong with being dramatic. Some
>people are just more "colorful"
>than others. The detramental
>part about Jills drama is
>that she uses it in
>a negative way. She
>hurts herself and others. Her
>drama at the radio station
>got her fired.
>
>Number four, Iyanla comes from
>a very checkered past. She
>was the giver and the
>receiver of bad behavior. That
>makes it even more impressive
>that she has gotten to
>where she is today.
> She committed adultry
>in the past with her
>husband. I bet she isn't
>proud of the way she
>got with him. On the
>other hand, she has learned
>from her mistakes and passes
>on the wisdom. She has
>walked in the shoes of
>many of the house guest
>and that makes her more
>qualified than if she had
>had this perfect little past.
>That is a good thing,
>not a hypocritical thing. It
>would be hypocritical if bad
>behavior continued.
>
>I sooo agree with you....it's not about Iyanla....who knows what Jill professed to the LC's and producers before coming to the show...who are we to surmise that she hadn't included this as one of her issues..all of the points you made are very valid and I sooo agree with them.....some of these posters are familiar to me from the old board and are going to "bash" Iyanla no matter what...and when does a person grow beyond criticism for their past...as I understood it Iyanla realized that her stint as the adulteress was wrong and corrected it by removing herself from this relationship and some years down the road in life the two met again..both free to continue their relationship without a cloud of impropriety hovering over them. Less we not forget.. these ladies came to the house and the LC's for help...not to us...who are we.. other than the viewers....I wouldn't go so far as to denigrate the LC's simply because I disagree with them...I wouldn't be so presumptious.
****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************
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watch 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-09-05, 11:07 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Totally agree. I like Iyanla, but she is way too dramatic in her words and dress. She seems to have a problem with her hip with the way she walks, or maybe it's her weight. I like her but think she should address her own weight issues and stop hiding behind all the flamboyant outfits! She told one of the girls from the couples stories to find out who she was without all the makeup. As Iyanla says: "Yeah, yeah..." Again, I like her, but she drowns Rhonda out and makes a bit too much out of not so much!
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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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10-10-05, 08:18 AM (EST)
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47. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Tagging on:
General comments:
Well, since this thread was about IV, that is who all are addressing...has nothing to do with color and am tired of being told it is. I've stated over and over i don't care for Rhonda either. But Rhonda did say it best when coaching andy: IF you think you are a presfessional then you are.....
And Kim saying:
Fake it til you make it.......
Two different ways of saying the same thing.
And what ladies, with major problems/issues, got help that was lasting?
Cassie (season one) hdd to come back for yet another session for drinking, which was addressed majorly in her first stay.
Cassie (season two) graduated without achieving either of her goals. ChrisH lied and lied and the show let her goal when they didn't need her dramatics anymore.
Kimberlynn (first season) did acheive her goal, was praised over and over at a BOR then told she had 15mins to leave the house. NO graduation ceremony for her.
Josie Back working at a bar. Audrey and Towanada both graduted but have not moved forward in their perspective singing careers. Towanada even get arrested soon after leaving the house and had a record before entering the house. Tess and Karen (season two) Both were used by the show for dramatics and discarded when not needed any more. Lynell and daughter 9forgot her name) still speak to one another in a disrespectful way. have seen them on two shows now and they both still act the same as they did when they first entered the house. I could go on but will say the only one/s to have graduated that deserved to were: Susan She achieved her goal of finding her step dad and real dad and has gone on in life. Lori Mourned the death of her husband and was able to live again. Now remarried. Erika Achieved her goal and has gone on with life. Kimberlyn (yep,am mentioning her twice) achieved her goal but was treated badly by the show and the housemates. Karen (season two) Achieved her goal of designing for mainstream (she had been designing for dancers etc)and has continued in that capacity.
But the above ladies had NO major issues that an LC had to dig deep for and i don't believe it is an LC's place to dig deep.
As for alison, she is still a work in progress. Time will tell on how the shw treats her.
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patstimes 18 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 10:28 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I say you are right on target ChicagoViewer! These women come to the house with years worth of troubles and miracles won't happen in a few months. Its up to them to make what they can of the experience.
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luvy453 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 11:17 AM (EST)
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54. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
The difference between Iyanla and others is that she is comfortable in her own skin. Jill came to the starting over house not happy with her weight. Iyanla is a life coach, she is there coaching Jill on what she wants to change so Iyanly's weihgt and lifestyle is not the issue. I feel sory for Jill when she shares her real self with Iyanly, but I get frustrated with her outside personna. I can't wait to see her change.
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PrincessBride 24 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 11:46 AM (EST)
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55. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I disagree luvy453. I think Iyanla is focusing on Jill's weight and making a big issue out of it. When Jill explained what her goals and reasons for being in the house were she emphasized her relationship with her mother who is living on her sofa and other issues not pertaining to her weight. She didn't mention that she wasn't happy with her body until Iyanla made it the focus and root of her problems. Jill said herself she was always a big girl and yes of course she wants to lose weight like most if not all women including Iyanla but her weight is not the biggest problem she has.How do you know Iyanla is comfortable with her weight? Then this goes back to her being a hypocrit. Because she has talked about her own weight issues before and she has contradicted herself. When she had her own talk show she did segments on her weight and her need to exercise more. She talks a good game about self-love and self- acceptance including telling the Houseguests in the past (I can't remember which but I think it was Candy who was loathing her body and Bethany too) when she told them to embrace and love themselves fat and all. But she doesn't seem to be sending that message to Jill. Instead she dramatizes Jill's weight as being something that is going to "kill" her. Why isn't she promoting self-love and acceptance of fat to Jill. So to some she does and to others she believes weight is a problem which is deep rooted and more of a disorder. Everyone who is fat has a disorder. If someone truly loved themselves and their bodies then they wouldn't allow it to be overweight (INCLUDING IYANLA) because that weight can and will eventually cause health problems. So maybe Iyanla claims to love her own fat thighs but if she truly loved herself she would want to do the best she could for her body and that would mean to keep it at a normal healthy weight to safeguard her health. Iyanla's mixed messages is what bothers me the most about this whole issue of weight, acceptance, self-love and in Jill's case Iyanla's angle to make it all about Jill's weight. Just my two cents and opinion.
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jernadjez 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 12:33 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
What does Iylana weight have to do with Jill's issues. Of course, we can all see Iylana's weight, but she is not the one with the issue and "hiding" behind her weight issues. She is very comfortable with the woman she is and is trying to get Jill to come out of her shell and accept who she is.. I think your comment was totally off the mark!
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JackDaniels 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-10-05, 01:10 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>What does Iylana weight have to
>do with Jill's issues.
>Of course, we can all
>see Iylana's weight, but she
>is not the one with
>the issue and "hiding" behind
>her weight issues. She
>is very comfortable with the
>woman she is and is
>trying to get Jill to
>come out of her shell
>and accept who she is..
>I think your comment was
>totally off the mark!
Iyanla's weight has everything to do with the subject at hand. Yeppers, everyone can see Miss Iyanla's weight and everyone can see Miss Jill's weight because they are both big women. But what makes you so sure Iyanla is comfortable with her weight and why should anyone believe that she is? Because she says so? Iyanla's weight problem is an indication that something is eating her because if she respected herself she would follow her own advice and get her a$$ to the gym and set up a program for herself with Marcus. A heavy-set woman like Iyanla is not in a position to preach to anybody about losing weight when she can't even practice what she's preaching. It's purely a cop out for Iyanla to cling to the mantra that she loves herself because it's convenient for her not to do anything about it except to go out and buy bigger clothings, moo-moos and tribal smocks to hide her ample behind.
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justletmebe 59 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-10-05, 01:49 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>
>But what makes you so
>sure Iyanla is comfortable with
>her weight and why should
>anyone believe that she is? What makes you think she isn't? Iyanla's
>weight problem is an indication
>that something is eating her
>because if she respected herself
>she would follow her
>own advice and get her
>a$$ to the gym and
>set up a program for
>herself with Marcus. Everyone has different priorities in life. It's possible for IV to respect herself even though she doesn't have the exercise program you think she should have. A heavy-set
>woman like Iyanla is not
>in a position to preach
>to anybody about losing weight
>when she can't even practice
>what she's preaching. It's purely
>a cop out for Iyanla
>to cling to the mantra
>that she loves herself because
>it's convenient for her not
>to do anything about it
>except to go out and
>buy bigger clothings, moo-moos and
>tribal smocks to hide her
>ample behind. IV is just the person to be talking about this issue. Who other than another overweight person can truly understand the thought processes and excuses and situations that get a person to being overweight? IV isn't hiding behind her weight, in fact, she isn't letting the fact she's overweight hold her back - maybe Jill is - and maybe that's why IV is pushing this issue so hard.
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jernadjez 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 02:00 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I can see your point, however, you can also tell when a person is comfortable in their own skin by the way that they speak and they way that they carry themselves. There are plently of "big women" out there that are completely fine with who they are and they eat WHATEVER they want. IV can relate to her only because of the her and Jill being more on the heavy set side, but the reason why Jill is all screwed up is because of her weight.
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lilmarie80 19 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 02:47 PM (EST)
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61. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I understand what u are saying Guns and Roses. I do see the hypocracy Iy makes with the "bigness" issues an I too would have a hard time with some1 whom is my mentor LC or in the position to point out my faults having the same ones. I do understand due especially do to the health risk why Jill's weight is a serious subject, an that she may very well be in danger of a shortened life because of it. That still wouldn't change GnR's point that Iy has been hypocritical within this specific area. I have no problem with Iy mostly but she does have areas of LCing I do not agree with such as today her telling Lisa she'd have her leave but a few minutes no more than an hour I'm sure of her story coming out. Sometimes Iy's on it (in a good way) an sometimes she's not.
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angelangell 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-10-05, 03:09 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I have to agree about Iyanla. I really really liked her last season. This season she seems a bit more arrogant. I do find her advice insightful. Rhonda is just the best!
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firehousegirl 36 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-11-05, 11:13 AM (EST)
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76. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Libby first of all contracts are signed honey. I hope you don't think SO will leave their self open for a law suit such as that. Let's get real. Next, IV spends the most time with whom she thinks has the most issues. I really think she knows what she is doing. Its just not to some of you alls taste. I'm with her call it as you see it. They can go home.
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rachel4 50 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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10-11-05, 11:31 AM (EST)
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78. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-11-05 AT 11:34 AM (EST)>Iyanla may have the best of
>intentions, however I think the
>power trip has gone to
>her head.
>
>She is playing favorites again -
>I noticed this last year
>and she spends far too
>much time with certain members.
> She also did this
>with the couples and is
>now concentrating on Jill this
>
>season.
>
>When a person in any helping
>profession appears to have a
>favorite in a group setting,
>there will be trouble and
>that person is not a
>good candidate to give help
>to anyone.
>
>The damage which can be done
>to some of these women
>with Iyanla also decompensating herself
>will be material for a
>lawsuit if
>the producers and Dr. Katz don't
>intervene.
I don't think it is IV who is particularly spending more time with one HG as opposed to another or that she has a favorite. What I think is probably happening is that the show's producers are editing out a lot of the tape and decide between them what segments would appeal to viewers' interest or perhaps purely the entertainment value.
A lot goes on tape (that we are not privileged to see) that is not shown and I don't think it is up to the life coaches or Dr. Stan to decide what stays and what end up on the cutting room floor. It is most likely totally up to the producers what should be cut!
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firehousegirl 36 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-11-05, 11:04 AM (EST)
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75. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
You may be right but you do have to understand one thing. Those women chose on their own to bring their problems to the public's eye. IV is only doing her job. This is what they pay her for. She have to abide by "just what the producers want". The show is not about her. So it's her job to point those things out and if the women don't like it they should go home and for the future women they should not go to SO.
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carlsbad 24 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-11-05, 02:05 PM (EST)
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80. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I totally agree. I know Iylanla is into her "root"s and all but her outfits just make her look bigger and bigger and she seem proud of it, what about her health does she exercise or could "I" possibly climb that pole, swing form a rope etc. "I" has said many times over the past few seasons that she is a large women and she is fine with that-she is who she is and that's fine but then she should apply tha tto the women in the house who are big as well. Nothing wrong with them starting a better eating and exercise program but she is sounding too judgemental.That was dangerous and stupid to make someone climb that pole who is obviously so out of shape she could have had serious consequences-kudos to Jill for going so far.
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GunsAndRoses 176 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-11-05, 06:50 PM (EST)
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82. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-11-05 AT 06:58 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 10-11-05 AT 06:55 PM (EST) Hi Velvet Elegance (very cool name) I see there are many people here who are on the same page as I regarding the hypocrisy of Iyanla regarding weight. You're right, you would think as she was advising Jill that she would mention something about her own weight gain over the summer having time off away from the show. It would make her more human and appear more compassionate to admit that she too struggles. Rhonda, last year while counseling Summer and Josie about their weight, mentioned that she had lost some weight (two dresses sizes she said) after realizing how many calories she had been consuming unknowingly and suggested to the ladies to keep a food journal and write down everything they eat throughout the day which was what she did to make her realize that she was eating too much. That method helped her lose weight but I don't think we'll be hearing Iyanla admit that she overeats. Iyanla clearly has issues with weight and I don't care how high she holds her head and tries to convince everyone she is comfortable in her own skin I don't buy it for one minute. Yet she strikes me as the type that if she did lose weight and got down to a 10 or 12 then she'd probably start acting like Star Jones and Oprah prancing around in tight stylish clothes and saying things like it's empowering to be thin!
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Butterfli000 16 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-11-05, 07:37 PM (EST)
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83. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I know it may seem like that to some, but we need to remember the reason she's probably addressed it is because that is one of the reason's why she is there. She also mentioned that she has had health issues because of it. I don't think Iyanla is doing it to try amd judge her. I believe it's to help her.
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Devlynne 154 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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10-14-05, 02:30 AM (EST)
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105. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
LAST EDITED ON 10-14-05 AT 02:32 AM (EST)Posted by Cleverone on 10-11-05 at 07:50 PM "Hi Butterfli000...a few of us did allude to the fact that this may have been one of Jill's issues...I guess the perception is that you have to be a size 6 to discuss an HG's weight...when Jill tipped the scale at 340 plus pounds and expressed her own concern about her health, it just wasn't enough to think that she might have wanted to do something about it.(JMHO)" ****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
**************************** ...Or when Jill did her first assignment, talk show radio with the 'Real Jill' and the very first thing she got on herself about was her Oreo® Diet... Elluding to how she would diet, go to the gym, workout, followed by going home to binge on cookies! That seemed like an indication to me that Jill felt she had issues with being honest with herself and others concerning her weight and issues with her weight in general. Personally, I never really even thought of Iyanla as being overweight. Iyanla does seem larger than life in some ways, but I really hadn't considered her physical size in that estimation.
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Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-12-05, 11:03 PM (EST)
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98. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
VelvetElegance wrote:
>Mrs Iyanla's reason for getting
>up each day is to
>find a circumstance to welcome
>some unsuspecting woman into her
>bosom with great dramatic flare
>and if she can get
>you to break down crying
>in her lap where she
>can cradle you in her
>arms while giving off a
>never-ending series of ooohs and
>ahhhh and yesssses, you'll be
>all the better.
>
When I read this last night I thought, well, that sums up my opinion of Iyanla perfectly.
What's funny though is I missed 99% of the show today but I think I caught a glimpse of Jill weeping in Iyanla's lap.
>And the Emmy goes to......
To the Almighty Priestess, of course.
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lajdixon 4 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-12-05, 01:12 AM (EST)
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91. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
O.K yes IV seems to be bigger than she was in the last house, but why does that mean she's a hypocrite??? For all we know, she may have Cancer or some other kind of illness and the medicine she may have to take is causing her weight gain. Afterall, her mother died of Cancer as well as her daughter. Just maybe that's the case here, an instead of crying and doing the whole depression thing, she chooses to focus on the healing of other women to help her take her mind off of it. We are so quick to judge people for bad things rather than accept people for who they are. Rhonda gained weight on the show last season and the people on the message board thought she might be pregnant but was she accused of being a hypocrite NO! We as a nation are always being so negative toward the people that choose to help others instead of, or in spite of what's going on in their personal lives. In IV's defense, I'm glad she's a woman of weight, cuz I can accept her helping me as opposed someone who is thin. It makes me feel she knows where I'm coming from, a thin person can't share my pain. They can't know how I feel when I can't fit into an outfit or how I can't even get my thigh not mention my butt into that size 3 skirt . Iyanla is very real and gives everthing she's got to help you. (Remember Rachel and let's not forget Miss Allison who's back on the show) Bottom line is that some people can't handle her realness. With the Jill sitcho, the type of person(JILL) that she is, do you honestly think Jill would accept anything Rhonda has to say regarding weight? NO! Be real! And if you remember, Jill herself made the comment that IV had her number and that's what she needed. Perhaps just maybe if Iyanla was the LC for Miss Tess, maybe there wouldn't have been all that drama and she might of graduated and maybe not, but if the drama had occured, Miss Tess would've been gone the first time and Miss Layne wouldn't have been so uncomfortable cuz remember, IV felt she needed to leave to maintain the sanctity of the house. So why not let them do their jobs? I love Iyanla and I love Rhonda. They are both wonderful people with one goal in mind and that is to help women. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!!!
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Guaraldi 7 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-12-05, 02:43 PM (EST)
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95. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I personally think you guys are onto something while others are in denial. Whether she's hiding be the layers of 'hideous clothing,' or treating the HG's in such confrontational manner, you don't have to a working relationship with Doc Stan to realize IV is carrying a lot of baggage herself. The symptoms are often made manifest when she treats somebody's refusal/denial with hostility and resentment. I suggest that know that Kirsti Alley has lost her wieght, IV might make the perfect spokesman for a new add campaign. To IV, 'you got feel the love within you, before you can expect others to acknowldege it. Life coach, heal thyself.'
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Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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10-12-05, 11:27 PM (EST)
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99. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Guaraldi wrote:Life coach, heal
>thyself.' Indeed. Maybe the only place Iyanla can shine is in show business.
She doesn't seem to have made it anywhere else for any significant length of time. Oh I know, she's been this, she's been that, she's done a lot of things. I suspect the private Iyanla is a very depressed woman and scattered thinker. Really a shame she landed on a show with such a great concept. She's about wrecked it for me, I can't stand the sight of her.
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ChaChaDoodle 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-12-05, 03:56 PM (EST)
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97. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>This entire thread reminds me of
>an old saying I used
>to hear often: >No body likes a know it
>all, but everybody wants to be a know it all.
> LOL This thread reminds me of people having opinions of Iyanla weight and are discussing it respectfully and freely which is a great thing IMO!
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bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-12-05, 02:43 PM (EST)
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96. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
Iyanla's weight is not holding her back or interfering in her ability to live an authentic life-Jill's weight IS, not to mention that Jill's weight is an overlying symptom of deeper issues that Jill needs to address.
Ditto on the drama. Iyanla's "drama" is not used to mask truth. In Jill's case, and other HG's it has been.
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bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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10-13-05, 05:55 PM (EST)
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101. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
IMO Iyanla is leading by example.Jill uses drama to escape culpability and garner sympathy. Iyanla uses drama to emphasize truth-there is a distinct difference. Just my opinion though. I don't remember Iyanla telling Jill to give up the drama (she very well might have-I just don't remember it). I interpreted it as Iyanla telling Jill she needed to stop using the drama as a crutch.
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SDawson 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-13-05, 06:12 PM (EST)
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102. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I'm sure someone may have said this already but I feel the need to speak. Jill came there because she was unhappy with her weight. GnR quoted something Iyanla said about how if there was a size that fit her she's fine with it. Iyanla is happy with who she is and her body, Jill is not. I also agree that for Jill the weight is a cover up for other issues. I feel Iyanla is a good fit for Jill.
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JackDaniels 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-13-05, 06:26 PM (EST)
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103. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
>I'm sure someone may have said
>this already but I feel
>the need to speak.
>Jill came there because she
>was unhappy with her weight.
> GnR quoted something Iyanla
>said about how if there
>was a size that fit
>her she's fine with it.
> Iyanla is happy with
>who she is and her
>body, Jill is not.
>I also agree that for
>Jill the weight is a
>cover up for other issues.
> I feel Iyanla is
>a good fit for Jill.
>
So are you saying that if Jill pranced in at 340 lbs (that's how much the scale said she weighed I think when she was being weighed in at Jenny Craig) and had she said she was comfortable with her weight, do you think for one minute IYanla would belief her? Iyanla would still insist that her weight was a coverup.
Most women who are "big" act like it's OK to be big until they lose the weight. Then the truth comes out about how miserable they are because they try to convince themselves they love themselves just as they are when all the while they are wishing they were smaller. Don't think for one sec that Iyanla doesn't wish she was a smaller size.
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robyyyyn 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-14-05, 04:14 PM (EST)
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107. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
hi MOM/BLESSED
You need to set up your mailbox : )
Great post!
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robyyyyn 33 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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10-14-05, 04:08 PM (EST)
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106. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
People hate Iyanla I see ~ and HER weight really appears to be an issue with this site. It is sooooooooooo discouraging. I think she has self-love AND self-acceptance, at least more than I do! :p~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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JagAlskar 12 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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10-15-05, 05:57 PM (EST)
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109. "Ongoing Life Coach bashing" |
It really seems there is a camp that is devoted to bashing the Life Coaches.I wrote the following in another thread, inspired by all the teeth gnashing I've seen in this one! --edited-- It appears it is your mission on this board to bash the Life Coaches. I have read your "case" for this in other threads, and think you are way off the mark. The women who come on Starting Over do so knowing that they are getting the opportunity to get some new insights into their lives and their behavior patterns. If they do NOT follow that advice...they will surely fall back into their old behaviors and lives. The Life Coaches are not psychologists. Your assertion that they should be reminds me of people who go to doctors and believe everything they say just because they are doctors. "If the doc says to take this medicine, I'll do it." Having the designation of psychologist not only doesn't make someone automatically qualified, it is a completely different role than a Life Coach. Dr. Katz is the psychologist, and you can see quite easily how his role in the house is very different from the Life Coaches. What I see Rhonda and Iyanla do is help the women look at their life patterns from a new perspective, and to own up to their role in these patterns. Their unconventional solutions often end up being quite effective. You've bashed the "cage" method, but in reading the "Where are they now" entries on the Starting Over site, the woman involved in this exercise found it profoundly helpful. I do think this show is more aligned with people who believe in alternative ways of dealing with issues, rather than the "pull yourselves up by the bootstraps and take your medicine" camp. This often involves new ways of thinking and approaching problems. Rhonda and Iyanla seem uniquely qualfied for this role, partly due to their own personal challenges, as well as extensive work in the life coach arena. The assertion that a piece of paper from the local college would make them more so seems naive. Best-- Kristin
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Sadeyes 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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10-20-05, 08:59 PM (EST)
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113. "RE: The Hypocricy of Iyanla and Her Own Issues" |
I do not see Iyanla as a phony..there are people in this world that just simply love and accept themselves much to the dismay of others. Jill is there for HER issues..let Iyanla help.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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