Alphabetizer boy can determine everybody's finishing game. He's in Jury. Kenniff lost majorly. No one pondered questioningly. Rather stupid Tagi undoubtedly vouched winning. X-ray youth zealless. Now that I have reached the end of the Alphabet summary. I will replay you the events of Wednesday's Spice Channel.... I mean Survivor.
As the droning voice of the hostess with the mostess enters the room I get those shivers down my spine knowing that I will be witnessing history. Or maybe it's just the shivers thinking how creepy Jeff Probst is. Anywho, I learn that there have been 16 Americans marooned in the South China Sea. Really? Since when? Did anybody else know this? The credits roll by and Tagi enters stage left. Bickering starts... People are half naked... Men who I wish weren't there appear on the screen... OH WAIT THAT WAS THE SPICE CHANNEL... on Surivivor Bickering starts... People are half naked... Men who I wish weren't there appear on the screen. Wow other than wild animal sex and the repulsiveness of the castaways this is getting a LOT like porn.
Wait I take that back... Richard and Susan and Rudy in a porn movie is NOT a good sight to have in your head.
Then comes a big mud contest with people rolling around in the mud screaming with joy and pleasure... NO WAIT THAT WAS THE SPICE CHANNEL On Survivor there is a big mud contest with people rolling around in the mud screaming with joy and pleasure. NOw this is just getting REALLY weird.
After it was all over Kelly and Sue became friends again and then went and frolicked in the waves.... MEANWHILE ON SURVIVOR.... I think you get the picture.
After meaningless talk. We finally find that the next immunity challenge is a BLAIR WITCH SPOOF. A BLAIR WITCH SPOOF... now at least they aren't immitating porn anymore they finally started to do something ORIGINAL. I mean I haven't seen a blair witch spoof in about three hours.
Cut to the chase Kelly wins: Rudy is clueless. Kelly is ready to stab somebody in the back and get new friends. MEANWHILE ON SURVIVOR.... I know I know you get the picture.
At tribal council. The evergrowing Jury takes their seats as Jeff starts to ask really annoying questions. Well at least you know this isn't porn. Men NEVER ask questions in porn. They all go off to vote.
I was very surprised that Rudy actually KNEW who he was supposed to vote for because everything seems to just go in one ear and out the other. IN A SHOCKING CONCLUSION SEAN IS VOTED OFF. He should have known he was next. I mean Se comes before SU. Silly Sean.
THE END.
Next week: So shocking we can't show you a single second on network tv. MEANWHILE ON SURVIVOR......
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