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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
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complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread"
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-13, 03:12 PM (EST)
 
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"Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
The following series is not Survivor.It may have a faint resemblance to that show. There may be certain common elements, such as the host, the repeat-repeat-repeat-repeat location, and the stupidity. Especially the stupidity. But it is not in any way, shape, or form that series. Given the sheer number of Stupid Twists involved, some may suspect this is actually Big Brother on an island and given the presence of the never-before-seen autumn hamster, that might seem to have some validity to it. The presence of blatantly open (and eventually denied) racism doesn't hurt with that either. But it is not Big Brother on an island because that series generally doles out its Stupid Twists one at a time and there just aren't enough racists. This is -- something. It is a thing where contestants get voted out. Unless they don't because someone took their place. And that player still isn't voted out because they go somewhere that they might be able to get back in the game. Unless they don't. With an idol. Which they could leave with. Or not. But at least they actually got to play the game. Unless they were voted out before it started. Which they could be. Because this is -- something. And the name of that something is 'Stupid'. There is only one thing we can count on with this latest proof that with poor duplication equipment, each successive copy of a copy gets progressively more blurry than the original until it can no longer be read at all. And that is simply this: the host will declare it to be one of the Best Seasons Ever. Because he thought up all of it, at least to whatever degree thought was actually involved. And every opinion he listens to insists that statement is true, especially since the only one he hears belongs to him. He's right, you know. It will be one of the Best Seasons Ever. In fact, it'll be the best there ever was. And how can I say that? Because this is the first season of something new, something strange, something that might sort of have trends connecting it to the original but not really, and therefore it is the best simply because there is nothing else to compare itself to for its own run, trip, and fall. Put against the former real show, however... it's gonna pretty much svck. And blow. At the same time. Do you know what you should do about it? Go watch Total Drama All-Stars. That host just spent a year in prison for destroying his filming site. Don't you wish something would happen to ours where he at least has to spend some time being broken out of his This Is All Perfect trance by raw force? But you're watching this, aren't you? Welcome to Bloody Hell. Abandoning all hope is mandatory. 
Put it together with the burning of the hamster cage and we could be looking at the worst three hours on CBS ever. Fear.
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tribephyl 12393 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-13, 03:16 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Wishing my cable provider would 'get into a tiff' with CBS and pull the channel from the lineup.
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 08:22 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Uh-oh, Rupert and Candice don't have buffs to burn.
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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 08:26 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Am I the only one sick of the theme already?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 08:35 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
I was sick of it two seconds after Jeff displayed that first F/X shot.
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SpotTheDifference 949 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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09-20-13, 06:18 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
And Jeff once again goes off butchering the native language. "Galang" isn't pronounced "ga-LONG". The accent should instead be on the first syllable ("GAH-lung"). And now I need to keep hearing Gervase saying it wrong fifty times in a single confessional.
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 08:37 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
And Colton's vote was for who?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-13, 08:34 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
I have just been reminded that Brad passed the Wonderlic test.I'm not sure how... Oh, sure, tell Hayden there's an all-guys team in play. He's never done that before. And note the hypocrisy all over the place. 'He's only trying to reach his loved one! Which will somehow keep me from doing the same! But I'm not mentioning that! His goal is wrong and mine is right! How? Does it matter? Shut up!'
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 08:49 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Rupert actually landed on a good RI strategy, be lazy so Candice wears herself out doing all the work.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-13, 09:05 PM (EST)
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13. "Theme to the face!" |
Jeff will keep hitting us with it every chance he gets, won't he?And here we have the first overly-complicated challenge of the season. Also the first repetition of my normal refrain: Shut up, Jeff! Gawds, I swear he's louder than ever this year. Editing has to be boosting his volume on the track... Gervase, it's been thirteen years. Do some laps. How many focus shots can we get on him in one episode? Boomerangs win. Colton imagines himself towards guilt. Laura gets called a returning player. Very few people care.
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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 09:09 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Theme to the face!" |
Were all the returning players this physically dysfunctional the first time out?
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SpotTheDifference 949 desperate attention whore postings
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09-20-13, 06:41 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Theme to the face!" |
And apparently, the Philippines is now part of China, because that immunity idol? Is nothing Filipino.
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 09:15 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
And here comes ... the Muscle Alliance!
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-13, 09:28 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
And Marissa goes out. Because there's a male alliance. Because they may have felt she's weakest. But the editing wants you to believe it's because Gervase celebrated Immunity too much.By the way, if the Loved Ones had won, Jeff would have been telling the boomerangs how foolish they were for teaching so well. Sheesh. Next week: even less posts!
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-18-13, 09:34 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Next week Colton is back to his old self. Hope he gets another appendicitis attack.
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 08:30 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-19-13 AT 08:51 AM (EST)Late to the line again, I guess I'm the Gervase of OT, but Yeah! What you all said. What a mess. Just watched the DVR recording. I thought it started off pretty well (if too drawn out) with the couples left in different locations to spend the night without any kind of support. Just plop down on the sand (for those lucky enough to have landed on a plot of sand) and sleep with the ants, crabs, and spiders. That's good stuff. OK, that's mediocre stuff, really, but in comparison with the rest of the stuff, that's really great stuff. And at least this year we didn't have a Bozo who showed up to spend a month of survival on an isolated island in a business suit. Rupert's changed a little. Seems meaner. Brad Culpepper does not resemble the All-American First round draft pick Defensive tackle he's supposed to be. A pro DT has to be a big guy, this Culpepper would be ground to pulp. And, BTW, remind me again, which team is blood and which is water? And just how can this be imagined as a fight of blood against water?
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PepeLePew13 26134 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 12:23 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Yeah, Culpepper was 280 pounds when he played in the NFL, and lost more than 100 after retirement when he no longer needed to bulk up (dare I say, shot up with steroids?).The opening episode seemed ok to me, there certainly have been better ones. I wasn't surprised to see Gervase sucking up in the rear - back in Borneo, he was still a young guy at about 30 who struggled in the water and in keeping up physically at times, so naturally he was going to be even more winded in his mid-40s. He knew he was coming back onto Survivor and it's clear he didn't take it seriously enough to find a pool in his area and pick up a few skills. It wasn't just the lack of swimming skills that caught my eye but being so winded that he couldn't get over a rolling log or onto a boat? Dude's got some serious laziness. I wish they showed a lot more of the couples during their first night alone - no, no not 'with each other' but more like talking about their thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. about the next day to come, and what they might strategize about while together. That was a major disappointment for me - I get the Day Zero concept, but show us more!
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Georjanna 1316 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 01:08 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
I wish they showed a lot more of the couples during their first night alone - no, no not 'with each other' but more like talking about their thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. about the next day to come, and what they might strategize about while together. That was a major disappointment for me - I get the Day Zero concept, but show us more!I so agree. The concept reminded me of Guatemala's opening march into the tribes' respective camps. And I thought that was an intriguing way to begin a Season. But the couples' conversations during their night in isolation could have been, I think, even more compelling. Ah, well. If we had been treated to that footage, we might have missed those several opportunities we were given to fully appreciate Colton's tear-drenched sensitivities. And I would have really hated to miss a moment of any one of those. 
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 11:34 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
Why the heck could the returnees not row a boat?
Wasn't that Gervase on the side that kept pulling too hard and turning the boat in the wrong direction? Someone should have told him to just put his oar in the boat. Who was that yelling in the boat about hitting someone?
Who was yelling back? Looked like Colton was part of it.
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dabo 26942 desperate attention whore postings
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09-19-13, 01:03 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Vaguely Survivor-Like Product #27: Bloody Hell: Episode #1 East Coast Spoiler Thread" |
I half wanted him to do it just to see if they actually would evict someone from the game for assault. But I like Kat so..
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