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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Kim and TJ"
bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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12-21-05, 02:27 PM (EST)
 
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"Kim and TJ" |
I find it interesting that even though Kim and TJ both were physically abused as children, Kim is being encouraged to face her abuse, and TJ is not. In fact, every time TJ shows anger or frustration she's belittled and made to feel as though she's done something wrong. TJ needs to deal with her abusive past too-and so far there has been very little acknowledgement on Rhonda's part. TJ and Kim are both disconnected from their emotions and have difficulty connecting with people. I don't understand why the women are dealt with so differently when their issues are so similar.
Why do you think this is? Could it have something to do with the fact that Kim forces herself to appear easygoing and TJ is so brash? I don't see the logic there-can anyone enlighten me?
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bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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12-21-05, 08:11 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Kim and TJ" |
I strongly disagree that TJ uses her abusive childhood as an excuse. I do think she uses her ADD sometimes to excuse her bad behavior, but I have NEVER heard her blame her violent childhood.In fact, TJ pretty much tries to gloss over what she endured as a child. That's why it disturbs me that the life coach would pretty much ignore TJ's past, and try to sensationalize Kim's. But seeing as how it's Rhonda, it doesn't really surprise me.
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Astralynn 26 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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12-22-05, 11:06 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Kim and TJ" |
I have a different take on the situation with TJ and Rhonda. I believe that Rhonda has totally discounted any of TJ's past issues and has refused to work on them at all. I get the feeling that Rhonda would rather not deal with TJ at all. And I don't believe that Rhonda is able, much less qualified, to deal with TJ's issues. A child who was unloved, isolated and abused is going to have trouble connecting with other people at ANY age. Rhonda has done nothing for TJ except give her more of the same, only this time under the guise of 'helping' her. Yes, people with ADHD, ADD, or AS are going to be difficult to be around. Add in the fact that she was essentially blind and deaf as a child which meant that she was almost totally isolated. Then when you compound that with the abuse and neglect that TJ suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect her, you end up with an adult who wants to be loved and cared for and love and care for others, but doesn't know how to reach out or accept that love. And now at the SO house, she's constantly waiting for the next attack from the LCs and HGs. How can she possibly change for the better when she has to always be in defense mode. The only thing TJ is learning in the SO house is how to stay quiet and keep her head down. Which is interesting, because that's the same thing they teach soldiers in combat situations. So much for a safe, nurturing environment--she's in the SO equivalent of a foxhole under enemy fire. I still have to wonder if TJ is so villified by some people because she seems to have exactly what they want. She has a successful business, a loving husband, and a home that she and her husband own. Listening to what Allison had to say about Kim when she first came into the SO house, and her seemingly automatic hatred of Kim because she had everything Allison claims to want, makes me wonder if Allison poisoned the SO house against TJ, just because TJ had everything Allison wanted. TJ's heart is in the right place most of the time, but I have to wonder if she's going to be so much more messed up after the SO house that she's going to quit trying.
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Astralynn 26 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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12-22-05, 12:35 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Kim and TJ" |
>Astralynn, that is an amazing insight.
>
>
>LOL-TJ reminds me a little of
>that skit on MAD TV
>"STUART" where he jumps up
>and down going "Look what
>I can do!". We all
>know kids like that. Of
>course the skit greatly exagerates
>it for laughs-but in a
>lot of ways TJ is
>still like that kid trying
>to get everyone's attention and
>get them to really look
>at her-to truly SEE her.
>
>It seems to me that Rhonda
>just keeps swatting at her
>like a pesky mosquito.
>I think you're right that Allison
>helped poison the attitudes towards
>TJ and I think it
>was done out of jealousy.
>Maybe TJ will be able
>to make some progress in
>her relationships with the other
>houseguests now that Allison is
>graduating-despite Rhonda being her coach.
>
>It's sad because the neglect and
>isolation that TJ grew up
>with is happening all over
>again at the house. She's
>still being forced to be
>seen and not heard-the only
>difference is that she is
>not being physically hit-but I'm
>sure it hurts TJ just
>the same. Thank you, bentherdunthat. I think you've got some great insights as well. I could go on and on about how they could treat TJ and what they COULD be teaching her, but that won't change anything. I do know that what they are doing to her is what society does to those who share her handicap. When my son, one of my "TJ"s, was born and up until he went to school, we used to say that he was 'love wrapped up in skin'. He was and is highly intelligent, very affectionate, and extremely curious. He is also now a very angry young man. No amount of love from me or the rest of the family will ever make up for what his schoolmates and teachers put him through. He will never again be the wonderful, innocent, loving soul he was when he was born. Yes, TJ would calm down a lot if they would just acknowlege her when she speaks. She needs to know that she has communicated. Hints, eye rolling, body language, ect, just don't register. She wasn't taught these things as a child, and she doesn't understand them now. Rhonda's stupid exercises are nothing more than more torture for a soul that has seen more than enough torture of that kind. Maybe jealousy prompts this kind of treatment, but if Rhonda was actually a licensed professional, what she is doing to TJ would constitue malpractice at best. I do hope that once Allison is gone that things will improve for TJ, but somehow I doubt it. I hope that when TJ's husband comes that he will see what they are doing to her and take her home. She's been tortured and mistreated enough.
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bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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12-22-05, 11:48 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Kim and TJ--Personality Differences" |
I hope that Rhonda doesn't use Kim's mild personality as an opening to dominate her. Rhonda is not qualified to lead Kim through the trauma of her childhood. I know there are people that would disagree because of Rhonda's own tragic childhood, but that still doesn't make her qualified to help heal Kim...it only makes her qualified to have sympathy for Kim.
Kim needs to be in therapy (as does TJ) with a qualified licensed
psychiatrist/psychologist. I really think Rhonda will do more harm than good to these women.
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