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beachplum 11 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 12-13-05, 09:29 AM (EST) "I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I felt so sad for Tj today. They never sit around and mock Lisa with her language and attitude. That is TJ's personality and that can not change because of her add. My daughter is exactly like that and mocking her will just cause more pain...that was a mean exercise. She has add explain more about that to the housemates!! But I must say Jill is a great roll player. I love when she mimics lisa!! Did anyone notice how Alison't voice changed when speaking with her moom?   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. pamella 12-13-05 1    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 12-13-05 2        RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. shawnar 12-13-05 3            RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. celisabeth 12-13-05 4                RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. maryellen 12-13-05 5                    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. celisabeth 12-13-05 6                    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 12-13-05 7  RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Zissy 12-13-05 8    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. deededell 12-13-05 9    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. lovemydogdude 01-04-06 15  RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. kathy195103 12-14-05 10    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. celisabeth 12-14-05 11        RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 12-14-05 12  RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. krissy868 12-14-05 13    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. wens 01-03-06 14        RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. GoodnightLittleBear 01-04-06 16            RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 01-04-06 17                RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. GoodnightLittleBear 01-04-06 18                    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 01-04-06 19                        RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. GoodnightLittleBear 01-04-06 20                            RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 01-04-06 21                                RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. GoodnightLittleBear 01-04-06 22                                    RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. wens 01-04-06 23                                        RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. lovelucila 01-10-06 24                                            RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. Baxtera 01-10-06 25                                            RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J. smackermack 01-10-06 26

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pamella 5 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 12-13-05, 11:00 AM (EST) 1. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I know Rhonda does not like T.J. She looks at her with hate in her eyes and I think she know T.J.'s got her number and Rhonda not very bright. I call what Rhonda is doing is verbal abuse and for that reason they need to fire Rhonda ##### ASAP.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 12-13-05, 01:00 PM (EST) 2. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." One of the things that is missing from this house is a safe environment where the hg's can trust one another during their exercises. Of all the people to have do an exercise Lisa was the worst. She is no model of behavior for anyone and actually this activity would have benefited her more than TJ do to the differences in their learning problems. Once again Rhonda chooses a humiliation exercise for TJ instead of first working with her one on one to practice. This is just another way of letting the others humiliate and not support her. A better solution would be to have them model appropriate interactions instead of humiliating her. Then again that's the only thing Rhonda seems to do with TJ shame/blame/humiliate. I wonder how baby Lisa would have reacted.   Top

shawnar 366 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 12-13-05, 03:23 PM (EST) 3. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Gosh, I know its very obvious that Rhonda doesn't like Tj. Either that or she doesn't know how to help her. Why can't she bring a proffesional in there to help her? Together they could come up with assignments that will help her instead of humiliate her. I really don't believe Tj's communication skills are any poorer than Lisa's . Which by the way I do believe Lisa has some disorder that is not diagnosed.   Top

celisabeth 245 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 12-13-05, 04:00 PM (EST) 4. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I feel like this is nothing new, and that Rhonda gets incredibly petty and outright mean when she dislikes a woman she coaches. If you watched previous seasons, I think you'll see that she behaved similarly toward Kimberlyn, Karen, the second Christine (in the Chicago house, toward the end of Season 1), and then last season with Deborah, Denise and Sommer. With some of these women, I've felt that the Starting Over house was not good place for them, or that they weren't ready to be there. Christine, from what I saw of her, would've irritated me if I'd been her housemate. Deborah would've tried my patience, and TJ is way too in-your-face for me to believe that I'd like having her as a housemate. I tend to need some time for quiet reflection, and I don't get the sense that TJ could respect that. I'd guess that she'd be up in my face, demanding that I talk with her on a schedule that SHE felt was appropriate. But for me the issue isn't whether I liked any of the women I felt Rhonda treated disrespectfully, it was whether Rhonda was serving them well as a coach. I don't know whether it's been mentioned on this board, but I cringed when, during the Board of Review hearing, Rhonda made a kinda long speech about how TJ "isn't getting 'it'," and then, after she'd reiterated and underscored her point, she turned to the roommates and said "Can I get a concensus from the housemates?" I felt that Rhonda's question was manipulative and controlling. If any one of the housemates had disagreed with Rhonda's assessment, I suspect that Rhonda would've negated that woman's comments and we would've seen Rhonda in the days following treating that woman with rudeness and disrespect as punishment for having dared to disagree with Rhonda. Rhonda, in my opinion, needs to go. The sooner the better.   Top

maryellen 67 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 12-13-05, 05:22 PM (EST) 5. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I don't think TJ is easy to love. I also sense Rhonda's distance. Who says that a Life Coach is immune from common feelings. TJ makes enemies. I was incensed when she made fun of Bethany's language/accent. She does this while staring straight into the camera. But then, TJ is angry when she receives her assignment. I can understand. She is very self right and self righteous. Why has she not done "mother" work? One reason is that she is behind this rock. She is behind this false-image of blonde and misunderstood. She is plain as a poke staff, missing out on the life of the blonde and beautiful. She has leaked some very disturbing information about her mother and boyfriend at age 16. Where is her father? What do we know about TJ really. Like many women who were raised as perfectionists, she's hiding, hidden, gone.   Top

celisabeth 245 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 12-13-05, 06:26 PM (EST) 6. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Whether or not Rhonda is able to like TJ as a person, in her role as TJ's life coach she shouldn't be getting into these petty power battles and humiliation games with her. I agree with maryellen (whose post is directly above this one) that TJ isn't easy to love. I'm pretty sure that if I were her housemate, she'd drive me nuts. I'm a person who needs more space than TJ seems willing or able to give her housemates. Her candor can be refreshing at times, but wearying at others. It feels to me as though because TJ can be so insistent, so self-righteous and so unrelenting when she feels a need to discuss something that she wears her housemates down or frustrates them instead of having the two-way dialogue she seems to imagine that they're having. I can see that TJ's experience in the Starting Over house must have been frustrating for her. Unless the show is being very poorly edited, TJ hasn't had much in the way of substantive counseling to deal with any of her issues. I don't think it's helping matters that she's got a life coach who seems to either enjoy humiliating TJ or is completely clueless as to how ineffective and humiliating her tactics with TJ are.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 12-13-05, 06:45 PM (EST) 7. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Rhonda has a duty as a professional not to take a client she can't work with as a professional and this is not the first time this has been a problem for her or IV. It's not the clients fault you don't like them, you still are expected to treat them with professional courtesy and respect. Rhonda has crossed the line so many times with TJ that it's pathetic. The difference with the housemates and Rhonda is Rhonda is a supposed to be a professional and is supposed to be able to handle her feelings of dislike enough so she can counsel her clients. She deals with Lisa, gets professional help for Lisa who is far worse than TJ to everyone and she can't be bothered to do anything but humiliate and shame TJ. I would love to see her try the same exercise she did with modeling behavior with Lisa, Lisa would tear the housemates apart and then go after Rhonda.   Top

Zissy 4 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 12-13-05, 11:09 PM (EST) 8. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I will have to say that I'm not a T.J. fan and I've had that feeling from the beginning and yes it is her personality that turns me off and Rhonda might of had that feeling as well but she is suppose to be the professional here and if she has negative feelings then she should pass the torch off to someone else. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v242/zissy/Zissy%20Sigs/zissybunny.gif"; alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com Dont let the clouds of Life ruin the Sunshine of Hope. ©Zissy   Top

deededell 271 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 12-13-05, 11:39 PM (EST) 9. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I am someone who watched people like Rhonda Britton abuse my brother all through his life. He was simply annoying for being who he was eventhough he struggled with ADD, learning disabilities and other issues. Now I am a mother to a ADHD child and child with obsessive compulsive child and learning disabled child. People like Rhonda Britton fear me. God forbid my child put themselves into a situation where they wanted to better themselves and a leader chooses to put them on a whipping post and let their peers have a hay day with them. The reason Rhonda and Iyanla had us all directed to this website was because they could not handle the harsh comments. TJ may not be for your liking, but if you are okay with watching another human being treated like that than I have to question your compassion level.   Top

lovemydogdude 1253 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 01-04-06, 01:43 AM (EST) 15. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I clicked on your above link and it said oops my photo is no longer here...just fyi...   Top

kathy195103 4 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 12-14-05, 02:21 PM (EST) 10. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." The exercise with HM showing TJ how she appeared to them would have been better if Rhonda had offered advice on how to correct it when she feels it happening and suggestions to the HM on how to stop TJ from repeating herself like just tell her..."OK, I understand what you're saying." Not ignore, roll eyes and all that jazz. Rhonda told TJ at BOR that when someone starts to get close she performs a behavior that pushes them away. Did Rhonda not wonder why? Like maybe her husband cheating has to do with trust and why she might not have any for people to get too close. They sent Hailey to a doctor for her AADHD and he gave suggestions on how to deal with certain life issues. I sometimes wonder if TJ is a plant since all these women don't know how to support one another. lol "Watch what you pray for."   Top

celisabeth 245 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 12-14-05, 05:23 PM (EST) 11. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I agree that the exercise would've been more valuable if Rhonda had guided the housemates as to how they might respond to TJ when she goes into her longwinded-and-relentless-confrontation mode. The other housemates are likely to encounter other TJ types -- people whose communication style is to start talking when they feel a need to get something said, but have trouble with making themselves heard because they're so longwinded or come across as accusatory or whatever. Giving both TJ AND her housemates the tools for communicating would be useful for all. Instead Rhonda's approach suggested that "TJ, you're bad and rather than expressing yourself in a less-off-putting and sometimes self-defeating manner, your assignment is to just shuddup and not express any opinions, not to communicate your anxiety, etc." Not a particularly useful approach -- more punitive than anything else. I can see that it's useful for TJ to become conscious of whether her babbling is motivated by her feeling being anxious, but it doesn't seem useful to me that she just shuddup rather than babbling.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 12-14-05, 05:40 PM (EST) 12. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I think TJ needs some safe role playing and modeling not mocking and humiliation and trickery. She needs to have Rhonda and someone safe model appropriate interactions of a nature TJ struggles with and then have TJ try to practice doing it as well doing various scenarios of model/practice. Shame/blame/humiliate only has her retreating and in fear and resenting the process. Rhonda has voilated the process and I would love her to experience the horror she's put TJ through. Let's call it a walk a day in TJ's shoes. I don't think she'd last an hour before begging for her LC shoes back. TJ would do well with appropriate models and practice but it has to be safe they can't keep using the housemates to hurt her.   Top

krissy868 5 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 12-14-05, 08:12 PM (EST) 13. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I wonder if Rhonda sees the episodes before they air. If she does, she would see how misunderstood TJ really is. TJ even mentioned in one of the episodes that she had run out of her medication. Hello, that is the same day they sent the group to build the house for habitat for humanity. The houseguests also have to appreciate the effort TJ puts into their relationships. She truly has good intentions, but they have been lead to believe she is opinionated and obnoxious by Rhonda. The lack of respect the HG give her is amazing. They basically dismiss her because they don't acknowledge her. TJ is basically the only one in the house that is authentic. She calls all of them including Queen Allison on their stuff. She isn't there to make friends and lie. The problem is nobody there wants to hear the real truth. I think you will see a big change once Allison is gone. The true HG's will finally emerge. Everyone is too busy giving Allie help. No confrontation for delicate Allie. Iyanla created that monster and now she is stuck with it.   Top

wens 24 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 01-03-06, 10:51 PM (EST) 14. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I am glad that I am not the only one who feels TJ is not getting the help that she needs. I dont know why Rhonda keeps using the other housemates to do exercises with TJ..ie that connector exercise..the blocks. I do agree that it seems that Rhonda does not like TJ, but was totally in love with Jessica. I also feel sorry for this new housemate Kim getting stuck with Rhonda. And I dont understand why they keep shoving babies down TJ's throats. Why dont they send her to work in a daycare or help out a single parent or something more realistic than pretend babies or a bunch of kids who run through a house. TJ is not phoney and that is what I like about her. I hope eventually she will get real coaching on how to talk to people and to think before she speaks. Currently I think TJ is getting cheated with all the attention on Jessica and Allison and I hope it changes soon. Or maybe if her husband comes and visits and realizes she is not getting any help maybe he will take her home with him. I think I could manage TJ's talking also because she does seem to get it when Jill tells her about how she speaks. I do see an improvement but its in no way because of her life coach. I said it in another post concerning Lisa, but I wonder who TJ would have been by now if she had I.V. as her coach?? I started watching this show about the time when Christina revealed a deep secret to I.V. and Lisa was failing her jewelry assignments. Has there been any other information on TJ that I have missed?? Even with the reruns during these past weeks there really hasnt been too many episodes on TJ except for that day out with Rhonda for lunch.   Top

GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 01-04-06, 03:31 AM (EST) 16. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." IMHO the exercise where TJ had to babysit Dr Stan's kids was nothing more than "Gee, me and the wife want some private time. Do you think you can get someone to watch my kids Rhonda?" The doll exercise would have been ok if it were just one doll, not three. TJ is not planning on having triplets. I think Rhonda is vindictive, hateful and is not healthy for the houseguests. She does need to go and get help for herself because I think she has a screw loose. I know about her past and all and it is quite apparent that she has not gotten past it. The only one she has been nice to is Jessica who also lost a parent to violence.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 01-04-06, 08:15 AM (EST) 17. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Personally I'm not sure either are qualified to handle her without additional specialists to explain what kinds of exercises would be most applicable. Several people have said Dr. Stan would know. Is Dr. Stan a specialist in this area? I ask because I've had several parents send their ADD/ADHD kids to pychologists thinking that one was as good as another only to discover that they had a general understanding but were ineffective because they really didn't specialize in that area of study. He seems to do well with grief and letting go that's probably his strength.   Top

GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 01-04-06, 02:28 PM (EST) 18. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Most people and children with ADD/ADHD are treated by psychiatrists or medical doctors, not psychologists because psychologists cannot prescribe medication. TJ is taking Adderall but Dr Stan could probably help her with some of behavioral problems like impulsiveness. I don't think he is a specialist with ADD/ADHD.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 01-04-06, 02:38 PM (EST) 19. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Sorry I mistyped you are correct it should have been pyschiatrist. That being said there are ones I've had students with who while knowing the word are useless with my students because they have no actual experience in working with the disorder and there are ones who do specialize in working with clients with the disorder. Sometimes the ones who think they know while not really knowing do more damage than the ones who are honest enough to admit it's outside their area of expertise. Based on the little progress he's made with TJ I'd say he's outside his specialty with her and he should find someone who does specialize in that area and have he/she work with TJ.   Top

GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 01-04-06, 02:48 PM (EST) 20. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I have ADD and have been treated for years pharmaceutically but there is not a whole lot a psychologist can do in such a short time to help treat old bad habits (like impulsiveness, disorganization etc)and feelings of inadequacy that a person has taken years to develop. That takes much longer to work with someone than just a few weeks or months. I think he's just there in case of a crisis and to meet with them in the beginning. I was watching today's rerun and Rhonda was meeting with Lisa as she told her tale of woes about being married to someone she didn't know and her sexual abuse. All the while Rhonda is holding her hand but had this look on her face as if she was thinking. "I wonder what I should make for dinner tonight?" I notice she does this with TJ and Lisa but not Jessica.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 01-04-06, 03:48 PM (EST) 21. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." I think there are lots of exercises that would have been more productive for TJ and taught her coping skills because along with the add she has the additional adhd component to deal with and there are direct teachable coping skills that can be taught that would help her to function more appropriately in those weeks that wouldn't involve shame/blame/humiliation but they also wouldn't be as shocking as sitting in a box or as entertaining to the other house guests as many of her assignments have been. I think this is a case of the LC's taking on something they aren't qualified to handle and then blaming the client for their own inadequacies. Sorry Rhonda but you and IV blew this one.   Top

GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 01-04-06, 03:54 PM (EST) 22. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." LAST EDITED ON 01-04-06 AT 03:55 PM (EST) I completely agree that the exercises are unproductive and I believe are doing more harm than good. I think many of the exercises meted out by Rhonda are mean-spirited and Iyanla's are just off the wall. She has an affinity for construction paper and index cards. The LC's are not qualified to clip my toenails, much less treat people like TJ who has multiple problems such as ADHD and dyslexia. I think Dr Stan should be more involved with TJ when it comes to her feelings of alienation and inadequacy within the house. Since he is not her doctor, he can't treat her beyond the house unless she wants him to.   Top

wens 24 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 01-04-06, 10:56 PM (EST) 23. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." now that you mention it ..I didnt feel that Rhonda was really getting close to Lisa during her session on the rerun. Rhonda has no problem embracing Jessica all the time, but with TJ and Lisa she seems to be keeping her distance.   Top

lovelucila 55 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 01-10-06, 04:57 PM (EST) 24. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Did you see the way TJ was acting today? Has she learned anything?   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 01-10-06, 05:01 PM (EST) 25. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." Has she been taught anything by anyone? If she could have done it all on her own she wouldn't have come to the Starting Over house.   Top

smackermack 93 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 01-10-06, 06:36 PM (EST) 26. "RE: I don't think Rhonda likes T.J." TJ's anxiety level is at an all time high - Two new houseguests, no more Allison and Jessica - She needs to settle down and refocus. Don't speak when anxious comes to mind.   Top

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