LAST EDITED ON 12-17-06 AT 09:05 AM (EST)

"This Tribe will
Self-Destruct in 5, 4, 3, …"

HO HO HO!!
Come All Ye Faithful -- come to the final SOTS of the S13 season! We would like to remind you all as we get started to peruse our Community Guidelines. It helps to know how to navigate your way around the Reality TV World! Now on with the SOTS…

Last week, on Survivor …
Ozzy kills everyone in the Mud Reward Challenge, while Parv and Yul come in 2nd and 3rd respectively. Parvati relies once again, on the ONLY thing she knows as she desparately sings to Ozzy, All I want for Christmas, is Youuuuuuuu! Much, thank GAWD, to no avail. Meanwhile, back at camp, snarky Becky decides that Ozzy is just too good and needs to go sooner, rather than later. She informs both Sundra and Yul of this and thankfully, much to no avail! Ozzy kicks butt with the beams and puzzle board and wins yet another Immunity Challenge! Adam and Parv both appeal to Godfadda Yul Tide, and Parvati gets the boot. We have to admit though, sex appeal did get her pretty far in the game!

*For further details, please see Icecat’s Ep 12 East Coast Update Thread here and be sure to see the Ep 13 Insider Thread, brought to us by forehead here.

*Stop by Sucks and visit the Compiling the Spoilers thread to see how they did...not too shabby! Well done!

*You might also wish to check out True Dork Times Site and see what an incredible job he's done this year! Note Brownroach's TDT's Survivometer Update thread Here at Blows.

*Last, but never least, please visit Veruca Salt and friends in her unbelievable After the recap-The Players, the game, the editing-Cook Islands thread. See who the editing points to for the win! It really is a MUST READ! Kudo's to the editing folks, they are amazing and we are so thankful they choose to post here at Blows! WELL DONE, as always!

Now, without further adieu, we're on to the business at hand ...

I'm dreaming of the final Survivor episode...not like the ones they've had before... "This Tribe will Self-Destruct in 5, 4, 3, …" Most folks agree that this title refers to the self destruction of the Aitu 4. See the speculation in forehead's thread, Ep 14, Title thread.

SeeBS Misdirection aka CLUES

A huge thank-you to Chez for bringing us the website misdirection thread every week! This week they look something like this:

1. As the number of remaining tribemates dwindles down, one alliance is forced to think about turning on each other. Will this strong alliance finally crumble?

No brainer, CBS...Aitu 4!

2. At the Immunity Challenge the Survivors must complete an obstacle course that ends with the most difficult puzzle in Survivor history. Who will capture this all important victory for a spot in the final four?

Hmmmmm … Well Yul is the misdirection to win this as he is shown at the puzzle with "THE BRAIN" written all over him. He's the brain, so therefore he'll most likely win this "brainy" puzzle challenge....NOT! We are going with a SURPRISE Ozzy win! We think he has brawn and brain as he is the DOMINATOR!

3. Endurance is a key factor in the final challenge for immunity. Who will be the last one standing to secure a chance at $1,000,000?

Hmmmmm … We'll guess Ozzy, the Dominator...and that was a "no brainer!"

4. The final Survivors battle it out to convince the jury that they are the most deserving of the $1,000,000 prize. Who will walk away with the money and the title of Sole Survivor?

Ahhhhh, now we get to the ultimate question! See below...

The Preview vidcaps and yahoo vidcaps (here) most likely show the huge obstacle rope challenge that ends with the most difficult puzzle to date, the “Compass Rose.” Jiffy reportedly tried the puzzle himself and gave up after 30 minutes, while noting that the winner took only 25 minutes to complete the entire puzzle. Go figure...a contestant smarter than Jiffy?!

Seems like the voiceover for the preview promo gives us a quote from each of the F5. Cut to drum roll...Pa Rum Pa Pa Pum, they played their best for him, Pa Rum Pa Pa Pum, Rum Pa Pa Pum ... the "biggest surprise yet"! KOFan notes that this is not Ozzy falling out of the competition as it seems in the Previews, but that there will be a Final 3 this year, and not the traditional F2, as EPMB tells us in forehead's, "Final 3 confirmed" thread.

The Preview vidcaps label our Final 5 (Click on their pictures to view their original CBS Bios):

YUL aka Godfadda, Yul Tide:

"The BRAIN"

OZZY aka Dolphin boy, Monkey boy, Tarzan:

"The DOMINATOR"

BECKY aka Coat-tail rider:

"The CRAFTY ONE"

ADAM aka Adumb:

"The OUTSIDER"

SUNDRA aka UTR:

"The HEART"

Clearly the obstacle course involves lots and lots of rope. They must swing on it...

...run on it...

...drop from it...

...and at the end of it...

...solve a puzzle, as they can be seen going through the course probably gathering bags of puzzle pieces. They must go dashing through the obstacle course, on a one course open rope challenge, for the bags of puzzle pieces, swearing all the way...HA HA HA!!

Our take on who wins the huge IC challenge at F5...

While it looks as though Yul Tide, "the brain"...

...our take on who wins the huge IC/puzzle challenge is a "no brainer"...it's the dominator...

]

BOOTY Number 1 aka F5

While the misdirection from episode 13 was to boot Ozzy, the Aitu 4 will stick together and boot Adumb...thanks Darnell, Prometheus, and TDT!

The FINAL 4 and BEYOND...

With Adumb's departure, we are left with the final four - our Aitu 4. Mark Burnett told us in his article that the final four IC challenge will be "a trial of balance and endurance". From a TVGuide Online Article, Tuesday, Dec 12: "The final four's last immunity challenge involves balancing on a very small post, one that gets smaller and smaller — 10 feet above the water. "It required balance but also intense concentration and pain tolerance, because it was made of steel and was not comfortable," Probst explains."

Final Four Immunity Winner:

We predict Dolphin boy, OZZY!

So, Ozzy will have the earned Immunity Necklace, and Yul will have the HiddenII, so what will the Aitu 4 decide? Here's what prometheus tells us:

At F4, The Aitu 4 agree that the fairest thing to do is to split their votes and force a fire challenge to determine who gets booted. Yul and Becky vote Sundra; Ozzy and Sundra vote Becky. Becky wins the fire challenge, but they encourage, and help, each other along the way. Can anyone say (or sing) kumbaya?

Well, this really sounds like something four intelligent and rational people would do. So we will go along with it and predict and sing...Sundra got run over by a fire-starter challenge....!

BOOTY Number 2 aka F4

F4 Sundra

Our FINAL 3:

Becky

Yul

Ozzy

FINAL THREE AND BEYOND...

There are many predictions raging through all of the spoiler sites...emydi has started the jury speculation thread here and forehead is keeping us up to date in TDT's Survivometer from Brownroach here.

We know that at this stage we can speculate all we want. Frankly, the jury of mostly Raro's will be a hard, if not impossible group to predict, so we are going with our "gut". The true contest will be between Ozzy and Yul. Becky got to the F4 as she aligned with Yul. It would not surprise us if she did not receive any votes from the jury at all. Enough said.

Yul got to the F3 because first, he had a true alliance mate in Becky. Second, he made it to the F3 because he played a very smart game, particularly when he convinced Jonathan to vote with the Aitu $ and jump ship for a second time. Finally, he had the good fortune to be exiled and find the HII. With the HII in his possession, it allowed him the power to become the "puppetmaster", the mastermind, and the godfadda of the season.

In contrast to Yul, Ozzy remained an Underdog throughout the entire game. He lost his alliance partners repeatedly throughout the game -- first it was Cecilia, than Cowboy and Flicka. Next, it was Nate. The only way he was able to survive was because of his own abilities and strength -- by winning the challenges when he needed to. Becky summed it up nicely to Sundra in the last episode, "Ozzy can not be stopped. He not only beat them in the challenge, he killed them. No one can come even close to beating him." Truly, Ozzy has been a Challenge Hog throughout the series and we predict that he will continue by winning both Immunity Challenges in the last episode.

Ozzy got himself to the F3 against all odds...he only had himself to depend on time and time again. He depended on his wits, his athleticism, his provider skills and ultimately his survivor skills. Frankly, this is a very hard contest to call and Jiffy feels that with these two worthy players, we will have a deserving winner. Nevertheless, our unanimous choice for the Survivor 13 Ultimate Survivor is:

Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth

So, this sums up the final SOTS of the S13 season. On that note we'd like to wish you all a Happy Holiday season, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and sincere best wishes for you all. On a final note...a Holiday Poem, taken from "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement Moore.

Twas the night before Finals...

Twas the night before finals, when all through the island,
not a creature was stirring, except maybe the rat...
The muddied clothes were hung over the tarp with care,
In hopes that a warm clean bed would soon be there!

The Aitu 4 were nestled all snug in the shelter
while visions of millions danced helter skelter.
And Ozzy in his kerchief and Yul in his buff,
had just settled their brains with dreams of the end, enough was enough!

When over at the Tribal council set there arose such a clatter!
The Aitu 4 sprang from the tent to see what was the matter!
Away to the campfire they flew in a flash,
being careful not to stumble and land in hot ash!

The fireglow on the daws parked round the campfire
gave a lustre of midday to their faces most dire.
When who to their wandering eyes should appear,
but a minature host, named Probst, and 9 jurors most clear.

With a little old host, so cute and spiffy,
we knew in a moment it must be Jiffy!
More rapid then rats his jurors they came,
and he cursed, and shouted, and called them by name...

Now Brad! Now Rebecca, now, Jenny, Nate, and Candice!
On Jonathan, On Parvati! On Adam and Sundra!
To the jury you go! To the fire's edge you will sit!
Now interogate! Intimidate and call them all sh*t!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
So around the campfire the jurors they gather
With Jiffy at the center, to orchestrate the matter.

And then, in a twinkling, we hear from the rat...
Yul, why'd you give me your word and then vote me out stat?
Becky, what risks did you take, what contributions did you make?
You were nice to our face, but you made out like a snake!

Candice comments on her sister of sorts,
the armpit alliance did not discuss torts!
But when I needed you most at the auction I was lacking,
but you turned your back and sent me packing!

And Yul you deferred on more than one vote,
were you afraid to mastermind or choose the wrong bloke?
If you had not the hidden immunity idol found,
You may have faltered and been homeward bound!

But Ozzy, as a baby you had a broad face and little round belly
that shook, when you laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
You were once chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
and we laughed when we saw you, in spite of ourselves.

But with a wink of your eye and a twist of your head,
soon showed Aitu that they had nothing to dread.
You spoke not a word, but went straight to your work,
and trampled the competition with a grin and a jerk.

Suddenly Ozzy sprang from the set, to his teammates gave a whistle,
and away he flew like a loaded wild missile.
But we heard him exclaim, ere he ran/swam out of sight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

* Don’t forget to go and visit Dabo in the vote thread, and while your at it go and see Scarlett in the “Across the Boards Picks” when it goes up.

* Check out OFG's latest post regarding Volcanic Glass's case for Ozzy! We don’t say it enough for all her hard work and contributions and an incredible site, thank-you VG!

*Check out the speculation as to S14 that Flaming Cactus started here, and there is even speculation that Toad8098 has started that ponders whether S16 may be All-Star Survivors II!

Peace