LAST EDITED ON 02-09-06 AT 12:32 PM (EST)Harold Balzaccio of the House of Balzaccio is coming up with some really interesting stuff over at Sucks. Here it is:
Survivor - Exile Island Ep2: The Nova Scotia Trifecta Part 3
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It has taken over a year for the Nova Scotia Trifecta (at least one episode each of Survivor, TAR, and The Apprentice) to be completed, but at last, it has been done!
This tale will unfold in three parts. Enjoy.
As usual:
DON'T GO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
Part 1
Starts at night. Thunder and lightning.
In shelter with older men. They say the shelter is useless. No #####.
“Little bit of bad luck. This place breeds bad luck.”
Lightning strikes.
Younger men (Night 3)
Shows Nick with the blanket.
Morning day 4. Older women’s camp.
Cirie and Melinda trying to start fire.
Younger women.
Courtney and Sally poking at fruit to get off a tree. They get some papaya. They eat it. They're thrilled to have food.
Older Men, Day 4.
Terry looking at the weather. Shane whining about missing his kid. “There is no reason for me to be doing this. I make more than enough money, I don’t know why I did this.”
Cut to Probst. Tribes coming in to area.
JP: “Your first look at the group of new older women. Tina voted out at the last tribal council. Allright, let’s get to it. Everybody take a spot on the disks. Men on the light disks. Women on the dark disks. "
JP: “Everybody take a step back, turn over your disk. You see a buff, pick it up. Terry, take a spot over here to the left (orange buff). Danielle, over here to the right (purple buff)."
NOTE: These are the team captains. I'm sure I need to tell you idiots that.
“Four tribes are about to become two tribes (cap of Bruce showing surprise). Terry, you’re the first member of La Mina. Danielle, you’re the first member of Casaya. We’re gonna do a schoolyard pick. Doesn’t matter who goes first, because a man has to pick a woman, woman has to pick a man, therefore, ladies first. Danielle, you’re choosing a man.”
Danielle: "The cool guy with the Boston tattoo." (Shane)
JP throws a bag of buffs to Shane, tells him to get rid of his old one and put the new one on.
JP: “Terry, you’re picking a woman”
Terry: “K, uh, green sweats.”
JP: “Sally, here’s the buffs.” (throws buffs to Sally) “Shane, you’re picking a woman.”
Shane: “uh, you right there, mumble mumble”
JP: “Courtney, now a member of Casaya. Sally, picking a guy.”
Sally: “I’ll pick the fast guy. John Deere hat.”
JP: “Austin becomes a member of La Mina. Courtney...”
Courtney: “Red shirt.”
JP: “Aras." Aras: deep sigh of relief. "You’re on a tribe.”
JP: “Austin.”
Austin: “I’m gonna go with Exile Island over there.”
JP: “Misty becomes a member of La Mina. Aras, you’re choosing a woman.”
Aras: “Cirie.”
JP: “Cirie becomes a member of Casaya. Misty.”
Misty: “Nick.”
JP: “Nick becomes a member of La Mina. Cirie, your choice, you’re choosing a man.”
Cirie:”This guy right here.”
JP: “Bobby joins Casaya. Nick, your choice, you’re choosing a woman.”
Nick: “The lady in the pink tank top.”
JP: “Ruth Marie becomes a member of La Mina. Bobby, your choice has already been made for ya.”
Bobby: “Melinda." Joins Casaya.
JP: "Okay, only one choice left. So Ruth Marie you are in effect choosing your last tribe member and telling one of these guys, nobody wants them on the tribe.”
Ruth Marie: “This young man right here.” (Dan)
JP: “Dan goes to La Mina. Okay. So, that leaves you Bruce. How tough would it be four days in to be going home?”
Bruce: “Uh, I would be really disappointed because I came here to win.”
JP: “Well, not only are you not going home, you out of all 15, are the only person guaranteed to be safe at the next tribal council.”
Bruce screams: "Yeah, Baby! Woooo!"
JP: “The next three days you’re going you’re going to be spending on Exile Island. You won’t return back to this game until the next Tribal Council and which point you will sit in and listen. After that tribe has voted somebody out, you will replace that person as the new member of that tribe and be back in this game. In addition, there’s still a hidden immunity idol that may or may not be out there. Theoretically, Misty could already have it.”
Bruce: “I’m ready for this.”
JP: “Well go. Boat’s out there. We’ll have flint waiting for you so you can make fire.”
Bruce walks off. All clap for him and say “Go Bruce.” Yay for Bruce!
JP: "Okay, two tribes. La Mina, in the orange. Casaya wearing purple. Shall we get to today’s Reward Challenge? In today’s challenge, you are going to race through an obstacle course, collecting six wooden snakes along the way. One member of your tribe is responsible for carrying all six snakes throughout the entire course. On my go you will make your way to the first station, where you will collect your first two snakess. You’ll crawl under a fence and over a 12 foot A-frame wall. Make your way under the bamboo crawl, grab two more snakes. You now have one person carrying four snakes. You’ll then go across a wooden ladder bridge. If you fall off the bridge you gotta go back the start and go again. For the last phase: Go through the water and into a pit of leaves, where you must find the last two snakes. First tribe to cross the finish line with all six snakes wins reward."
"Want to know what you’re playing for?"
Uh, no, Jeff, we don't. Duh.
Uncovers the table beside him showing ..
JP: “Fishing gear.” Oohs and aahs from the tribes. “In addition, waiting for you at camp, one raft, four paddles to go with it. Should help you trying to get some food. Worth playing for? Allright, take our spots, we’ll get started.”
Tribes line up at the start.
Part 2 tomorrow. Noonish.
Edited by: HaroldBalzaccio at: 2/8/06 11:28 pm
Re: Survivor - Exile Island Ep2: The Nova Scotia Trifecta Pa
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Part 2
Reward Challenge
JP: “La Mina, who’s gonna be your snake wrangler?” Nick raises hand. “Nick. For Casaya, Courtney. Here we go, for reward, Survivor’s ready, go!"
Both tribes getting snakes untied. Both tribes get both snakes quickly. Both tribes dead even going over the A-frame. Both tribes still even at bamboo crawl. Now on wooden bridge. Shane falls, has to go back to the start. La Mina across first. Pretty much neck and neck. Looking through the leaves. La Mina gets the snakes first. La Mina wins reward.
JP tells Casaya they lost, got nothing for ya. Heading back to the Casaya Beach, previously the older women’s camp.
Tells La Mina nice effort. Head to the older men’s camp.
Casaya day 4.
Shane in the water with the women. Says he’s in a much better mood than the morning. (PI). Bitching about the older men. Says he works better with younger people. Didn’t like being on the older tribe.
Now all are looking shelter. Just chit chat.
Cirie (PI): “Oh my God, we have been invaded.” (cut to people just milling. Back to Cirie) “I mean some of the people are okay. Like Danielle, she’s okay. And Courtney, like, I mean, like, she’s, uh, like …” (Shows Courtney talking about partying and such).
Melinda (PI): “It’s like that game where you have to figure out what doesn’t belong in a group. And Cirie and I are the ones that stick out. If our tribe loses, the upcoming immunity challenge, I think Cirie and I are screwed. Yep, we’re screwed.”
Showing Shane with Danielle and Courtney “Yo yo, the three of us and Aras.” Girls: “totally.” They start talking about an alliance. Shane: “Can we not make it dramatic and not cheat on each other?”
Shane in PI talking about putting the alliance together.
More talk with the four of them now.
Danielle in PI: Talking about their alliance.
La Mina’s camp.
Dan (PI) is thrilled to be on that team. He was worried because he was almost the last one picked. Said this is the team he definitely wanted to be on.
Guys start the fire.
Dan in PI talking about his and Terry’s relationship and going all the way.
Terry talking to Austin and Nick about an alliance with him and Dan now.
Nick (PI): Likes the alliance. Said it makes sense in the short time in the tribe
Sally talking to Austin now. Now she’s talking about Austin, Nick, Misty and her forming an alliance.
Austin (PI): Says he and Nick are in the middle now and it’s gonna be a tug of war.
On Exile Island, Day 4.
Showing Bruce reading a piece of paper that says:
“Exile Island, Day 1 (Jeff’s Verbal Clue to the First Exile) You also have a lot of time to think about “why” fate chose you to be the first one out here. Which is “why” immunity is already so important …."
On same piece of paper at the bottom:
“Clue 2 - Day 4. It is above the tide line.”
On the other side is a drawing of the island and a section showing where the idol is NOT.
Bruce (PI): says he thinks it’s right against the cliff some place. He says he’s going to find the immunity idol. He doesn't get the fire started. Doing some sort of martial arts on the island now. Said he’s doing it to focus and get his mind ready.
Night. Storms raging again.
Bruce(on EI): “This place is horrible, evil, it’s not good to be here. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.”
La Mina, Day 6:
They’re going fishing. Nobody has used the fishing equipment.
Terry talking about fishing equipment. Shows how to use the sling. Sally and Nick go out on the raft.
Sally loses the sling (idiot!). Has to dive to get it. She can’t get it. Nick’s telling her not to worry about it. It happens. She's nervous about telling the rest of the tribe. When they get back she tells Dan and Terry. They have a funny look on their faces. Says it’s too deep to go down and get it.
Terry (PI): “I’m very frustrated about that spear.”
Part 3... Soon.
---Posted by Harold Balzaccio at SurvivorSucks
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Thank you for giving me honor in hat form.
The stupider the establishment is, the smarter the rebels become. 
