LAST EDITED ON 02-19-04 AT 12:46 PM (EST)

Ok, bear with me, this is my first shot at one of these summaries… but given all of the hours of hilarity and insight y’all have provided me, I thought it only fair to try to give a little back…

And, now on with the show…

Last time on The Bachelorette:
Meredith takes on the daunting task of visiting the hometowns of each of the four guys. In short, Matt on the ranch in Texas - Sweet guy, nice family; Chad in Buffalo – Turns out Chad is, surprisingly to us and to Mer, unemployed and living with his mom (Hello? Wouldn’t some of these issues have been better addressed to her earlier? Did he not know about the family visit portion of the show? Or did he not expect to get this far?), Ian in Manhattan - Ian really wants to open up with Mer, but doesn’t seem to want to let her see any part of his ‘real’ life; and finally back to Texas with Lanny - Cowboy with a heart of gold, some interesting farm equipment, and a life with a lot of heretofore unseen strings attached.

After a lot of “soul searching” by Meredith, only Lanny is left empty handed. Three men continue on to their fantasy dates: Chad, Ian, and Matt… Who will go home tonight?

Meredith Packs for the Dates:
In a new twist, all three fantasy dates are in Puerto Rico this time. Meredith’s excited and ready to get to know everyone better, but thinks it’s a little scary… She tells us it’s so unnatural to date three guys at the same time… of course it’s unnatural, it’s reality tv. She’s determined to use this time to learn a lot about the guys. And off we go…

Fantasy Date 1: Ian in Old San Juan
Meredith tells us that she thinks she knows how Ian feels, but she wants to actually hear it from him. They meet up on a kind of a cloudy, windy day outside an old building. They fly kites and picnic. Meredith says she’s very relaxed with Ian.

Ian evidently wants to open up, and wants Meredith to as well… She says she’s just happy to be with him, and that she’s not a great communicator (no, really?) and that when she says something she really means it. Ian confesses that he’s not a great communicator either and it’s been something he’s been struggling with his whole life. But he’s all smiles and tells Meredith that, “ as long as I see what I see and believe what I see, it’s all good.” Meredith tells us that she thinks that they have a very strong connection, but wants to see if he stands out above everyone else.

They wander through the streets of Old San Juan, and Ian playfully offers Meredith a rose. Meredith tells us that he’s the only one she’d want to stroll through the streets of Old San Juan with.

Next is dinner at a mansion in Old San Juan. Ian arrives at the door and is met by Meredith, who missed him already. Meredith is wearing some funky pink/hot pink top, black pants, and some spiky crystal ring. At this point, I’m convinced that Meredith is dressed by blindfolded production assistants… that or an escapee from Ringling Brothers Clown College, but I digress. They adjourn to the rooftop for dinner.

Ian’s excited, he thinks all of the potential for a great relationship is there, but yet again he feels the need to “iron out their expectation for the end of the show.” Ian tells us that he feels very strongly for Meredith, but he absolutely won’t propose at the end of the show. He tells Meredith that he wants it his way, he feels some things are private.

Meredith confesses that, “Love is more important to me than a ring.” She says that you need love first and that she doesn’t want a ring just because (cough… Bob/Estella). Both are nice, she continues, but what’s better than love.

Ian and Meredith have a nice dinner, and kiss a little. (At one point, I’m afraid her ring might take his eye out, but it’s a near miss.) She pulls out the traditional “fantasy suite” letter. He comments that it’s nice to see their names together. They both decide to take the room.

It’s a beautiful room, filled with candles and rose petals. He toasts her saying, “Here’s to you and me, me and you, and… to not holding anything back.”

Meredith confesses that they get each other, that every time they’re together they move back the boundaries a little. She tells us that she’s really into him, that they’d be great together, and that she forgets everything when he’s around.

Lots of kissing on the bed, where they both try (somewhat in vain) to ignore the bright lights and cameras shoved in their faces… Ian even covers Meredith’s eyes to keep the lights from blinding her… Aw, how sweet.

Ian confesses to us that Meredith’s great, that he truly believes that they’ll end up together in the end. It scares him how fast this is moving and tells us that if, somehow, she doesn’t end up picking him in the end, it’s going to really hurt.

Fantasy Date 2: Chad in Isla Verde
Meredith meets Chad at the marina, and they board a yacht. She tells us that he’s handsome, tall, and everything good... but she has questions about where he’s at in his life (read, she wants to know why he’s unemployed and living with his mom.) Chad tells us that he wants to connect with her on a different level, and get romantic.

They sit on the deck and talk. Chad tells her that this experience is more normal than he expected (Hello, Chad? What exactly are you used when dating?) They kiss a little and Chad is happy that they’re moving forward. Unfortunately, he loses ground when he stops mid-kiss to check if Meredith’s eyes are open and then proceeds to break the mood and tell her that. Thus begins Chad’s odd preoccupation with the mechanics of kissing, i.e., who’s where, where his hands are, where his feet are, etc… something tells me that he’s got a hard time just letting go and enjoying the moment.

Both change for dinner on the deck. Meredith’s wearing a relatively normal green blouse/black pants and some weird chunky bone necklace.

Meredith tells us that she is trying to find out where his head is at, and how he’s going to react to a romantic setting. Chad tells us that there are lots of things going through his head, but that he wants to try to find a good balance between talking and affection.

Chad toasts to “a good beginning, a fantastic middle, and a great ending.” Chad then tells her he thinks that they should have their first romantic kiss. But, instead of then kissing her, he starts talking about the why’s and how’s of a perfect kiss… they start squabbling a little when she tries to get him to stop talking and just kiss her… then, worries that he’s ruined the moment and starts talking about what he should have done and where he would have put his feet (huh?). Meredith (ever tactful) says something to the effect of stop being so nervous, your upper lip is sweating.

Chad confesses to us that he had the perfect moment and instead said something stupid. He wishes he could go back and do it all over again. Sorry Chad, no do-overs in the Bachelorette.

Meredith confesses that while Chad was going on about the perfect “time and place for passion” that she was thinking, “just kiss me.”

They have dinner on the boat, and Meredith gets to her questions. She asks Chad, “Where are you in life?” This is the cue that Chad has been waiting for to explain everything. He reiterates that his dad died, and that he moved in with his mom to take care of her. His company evidently asked him if he wanted to relocate (I’m assuming to one of their locations near his mom?), but two or three weeks later the company folded and he was unemployed. But he supports himself and he doesn’t plan to remain this way for the rest of his life.

Meredith confesses that she was surprised when all of this came up before, but she’s glad he explained it all to her.

Chad keeps talking, but Meredith feels she’s heard enough so she interrupts him to offer him the fantasy suite letter. She asks him what he thinks, and he jokes that she doesn’t have a choice, he’s taking her there. Meredith seems delighted that he’s being decisive about it.

Meredith tells us that “Chad has a great heart” and that he’s a great conversationalist. She says he needs an “aggressive quality, motivation, drive.”

Chad tells us that they’re both just ready to go lay down, have some champagne.

As far as I can remember, the fantasy suite appears to be just an odd blue-grey room with a couch. They curl up on the couch and Chad tells Meredith about his wild side. Meredith seems very skeptical.

Meredith confesses that she wants to know if they can be romantic, and have chemistry like that between a husband and a wife. (Mer, honey, it’s been my experience that if you have to stop and ask, the answer’s usually no.)

She flat out asks Chad, “are you a sexual person”? He seems a bit taken aback, but he eventually answers that he definitely is. She says, “Hmm, interesting.”

There’s a bit of awkward kissing. At one point, Chad stops to move Meredith’s arm because he isn’t quite happy with where it is.

Chad confesses that he feels that, despite an awkward beginning, he feels that the date couldn’t have gone better. He thinks that the next rose is just around the corner.

Meredith tells us that the dates do tell her a lot. She says she needs a mix of everything, someone who can express themselves verbally and physically. But, she’s glad that Chad finally kissed her romantically.

Fantasy Date 3: Matt in Dorado
Meredith is walking along the beach. She tells us that she thinks she know where Matt’s head is at, but wants to see if they’re feeling the same way.

Matt and Meredith meet up on the beach. They both say it feels like it’s been forever since they’ve seen each other. They hug and Matt says his heart is pounding.

Matt tells us that he was very nervous before seeing her again, but once they hugged he relaxed and everything else faded away until it was just the two of them.

They walk hand and hand down the beach and Meredith confesses that she just wants to relax, try to be normal, and enjoy the moment. Matt and Meredith settle into lounge chairs on the beach with coconut drinks. Matt tells Meredith that she has beautiful eyes and Meredith asks him to explain. He gets all mushy describing them and leans in for a kiss.

Meredith confesses that Matt is just incredible and that she’s in awe, wondering where he came from. She tells us that originally, some sort of activities were planned for the afternoon, but that she just wanted to sit there and enjoy being with him.

Meredith tells Matt that she likes that he makes her laugh, especially now. Matt says he understands that this process isn’t going to get any easier, and most likely will get more difficult near the end. He just hopes that they can be a good thing.

She tells us that Matt makes her feel like they can get through anything together, and that’s exactly what she needs right now.

Meredith asks Matt what he’s trying to figure out, and he tells her that he wants to know if they’re supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. He thinks that they’re doing everything that they can to figure it out.

Again, Meredith tells us that it’s exactly what she needed to hear. She says Matt just makes her melt.

They kiss and cuddle, and the sweetness of it is almost overwhelming.

Matt tells us that when he is holding her, he know that they have great chemistry. He says he knows that that’s not everything in a relationship, but it is definitely something you need to have – and they do.

Meredith decides to pull out the fantasy suite card early. Matt leaves the decision up to her, and she says let’s go. They opt for room service instead of dinner.

Matt confesses that he’s falling for her and it scares the h*ll out of him. He still thinks it’s a great feeling, though.

They curl up on the couch and Matt tries to explain all of this to her. He says it’s more than he ever expected and it’s kind of scary. He’s felt for a while that this could get serious.

Meredith says that it’s much more than she imagined too. She says, oddly, that “you’re the type of guy I push away, but you’re right here in front of my face, and sometimes I don’t know what to do.” Matt says he doesn’t know what the future holds, but he wants to find out.

Meredith tells us that Matt is perfect. He’s the kind of man you want to take home, marry, and never let go of. She could see spending the rest of her life with him.

Matt tells her that he wants to be strong, but she manages to break down all of his walls.

Meredith confesses that, “Matt says I crumble him.” She thinks it’s amazing that she can do that for him, because he does it for her.

There’s a cutaway shot through the window of Matt and Meredith kissing, and that’s all for paradise. Who will go home tonight? (I wonder who it could possibly be…)

Meredith talks with Chris:
Meredith is wearing some black dress and some strange furry coat/wrap thing that just isn’t working for her. It leaves her shoulders bare and makes it look like she switched arms with Bigfoot. Will the fashion insanity ever stop?

She tells Chris that she found clarity in Puerto Rico. There are two men that she can definitely fall in love with, and what she’s struggling with right now is just which path to take. They don’t even try to make it look like Meredith is struggling with her decision tonight… no standing by the picture wall tonight. They, and we, know that Meredith’s already moved ahead to the endgame.

Chris reminds her that there are three men and two roses. He leaves to bring them and and lets her watch the video messages:

Chad – Meridy, things keep getting better and better each time. I had a wonderful time with you, please give me another rose.

Ian – I had a magical day with you. It was all a blur until the card, but then things pulled together. I miss you already, extend me a rose because I want to meet your family.

Matt – Thanks for a great day and night. I want to meet all of your family, so give me a rose and let’s go to Portland.

ABC can’t even pretend that there’s any drama in this one, so this time we get the…

Most Emotional Rose Ceremony Ever!

Chris tells the guys that Meredith has an incredibly difficult decision to make tonight (She does? Was he talking to someone else upstairs?) and then he goes to get her.

Chris and Meredith enter. Meredith tells the guys that tonight is bittersweet. She doesn’t want to say goodbye, but she’s loved every minute she’s had with them.

The first rose goes to… Matthew. He’s sweet, after he accepts, he checks to see if she’s ok. She’s pretty nervous, so he gives her a hug.

Chris thankfully does not feel the need to remind the viewing public, assuming I guess that they can all at least count to two, that this is the final rose tonight… absolutely no tension builds… (oh, will you get on with it, I want to find out who the Mole is already)… and the final rose goes to… Ian (duh).

Poor Chad. Meredith walks him out. He stops her, because he’s not sure if he can walk. Meredith tells him that there are two guys she’s really falling for and that it wasn’t that she wasn’t falling for him too, just that they weren’t at the same level yet.

Chad wants to know what he did or said that was wrong, he’s very hurt. Meredith wants him to know that “it wasn’t anything about you, it’s about me, what I’m feeling.” She says there were just too many unanswered questions.

Chad is heartbroken and hopes he be able to find this again someday.
Meredith confesses that it was hard to say goodbye to him, but she felt like he was still “soul searching.”

Chad says he’s not looking forward to the drive in the limo. They wish each other well, and he leaves.

Chad tells us that he’s empty handed, broken hearted, and it doesn’t seem fair. He thinks that they had such a strong connection and chemistry together. He doesn’t think she could possibly have found anything like that with the other guys. He felt like he found everything, but now he has to leave and never see her again. He’s just overwhelmed.

Back at the house, Meredith, Ian, and Matt toast to the two of them meeting her family.

Next time on the Bachelorette:

Tonight! at 8/7c, The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All… Audition tapes, Lanny speaks about his controversial mom, and various other ramblings… as if anyone really needs to listen to Ryan M. speak some more…