The Lord of the Ring- “The Two Time Coward?”

This is a tale of an epic battle between good and evil, of East versus West. In the beginning there were 16 fighters all with one purpose…to be the middleweight champ of the earth. These boxers never had the chance to do this before. Tossed aside like yesterdays trash, used and abused by agents and promoters, these men all have one thing in common, they know how to talk the talk, but can they walk the walk? In the end, only one man will be left standing to claim the million dollar prize and become the Lord of the Ring.

Two boxing legends, Sylvester “Rocky Bilbo Baggins” Stallone, and Sugar Ray “The King” Leonard are our merry narrators. I wasn’t sure that Sly was still alive after all these years, he must be 111 by now. But you know the old saying “Old Hobbits die hard”, and so we shall be on our way.

As in any good drama, this one has its share of heroes and villains. Previously on the Contender, Wishy-washy Ishe “Frodo” Smith performed an act of cowardice, which opened the door for his West teammate Jesse “Strider” Brinkley to step up and be the man. While Wishy-washy was having diarrhea of the mouth, verbally sparring with East foe Ahmed “Gollum” Khadork, Jesse spoke volumes with his fists and defeated formidable opponent Jonathan Reid in a bout that put the West up 2-0.

We open with Wishy-washy wishing that Jesse had lost even though they are on the same team. He sure looks comfortable wearing yellow doesn’t he? Maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on the man feather bearer, I mean after all, boxing just isn’t a team sport, right? Nah, even his mother had a hard time deciding his fate when he was born. “Is he a boy? Is he a girl? I know, we’ll name him Ishe because we will always be wondering.”

Jesse gathers his belongings and heads over to the Contender housing to spend some time with his girlfriend and two kids. After chowing on a salami and cream cheese sandwich Jesse reveals in confessional “I’m really happy with the outcome of the fight. We only have one weak player on our team, and that is Ishe Smith. He doesn’t know who to fight, he doesn’t know when to fight.”

Almost as though she can read his mind, his girlfriend asks “When do you think Ishe is going to fight?”

Back to confessional Jesse admits, “Ishe just needs to get some confidence, I don’t know it seems like he’s lost it. But I’m not going to help him, because he is a gun that wants to kill me. If you give him some advice and he gets some confidence, confident fighters can be dangerous.”

Daily Training
The boxers are working out and the trash talking has begun. Khadork is running his mouth to Alfonso, telling him how weak and yellow Wishy-washy is, that he isn’t a man, and that this means war. Alfonso can’t really say too much to back Ishe up, so he just smiles and says “Only time will tell.”

Khadork confidently tells the camera “Ishe proved that he is scared. They won the challenge and he didn’t pick me to fight. So now the next time we are going to win the challenge and I can guarantee you that I will pick Ishe Smith.”

Rocky Bilbo Baggins calls the teams together near the ring and presents Jesse with his golden boxing glove necklace. He then tells the West that thanks to Jesse’ win they get to be treated to a reward. Tommy “Gandalf” meets them in the corridor and tells them “Today we are going to live like the other half lives.”

The Reward
The team gets into a very long very proper limousine and they head downtown to Lioni’s, a very expensive men’s clothing store. Tommy says “You each get to pick out your own suit, the coat, the tie, the pants, the hat, the socks, the shoes…everything.” He proceeds to school the guys on how to size and select attire that would make any pimp jealous. This impresses Sergio, and Tommy laughs “Not bad for an old guy, huh? I’m not just a pretty face.” Everybody is happy with their selections, and even Ishe is feeling like a man as he walks out of the store with his new threads.

Taking on the King
Back at the training gym Ahmed is in the ring sparring with Sugar Ray, the King. Ahmed gets carried away and starts taking strong jabs at the six time world champion including hitting him in the face. This caught the eye of several of the others who thought it was a sign of disrespect. Sugar Ray said “Was it disrespectful? I don’t know, maybe, but I wasn’t hitting him back, we’ll see if he can hit like that when somebody else is in the ring throwing punches his way.”

Ahmed is getting real cocky as he talks about how good he is. “Hey Joey, I’m fighting next right?”

Joey expresses what is on all the other boxer’s minds, “Those two have been going at it since day 1. I’m surprised they haven’t been in the ring by now, hell if I were Ishe I would have insisted on it. It is time that these two get this over with and fight.”

Contender Housing- Smith family
Wishy-washy walks in the door and is greeted by his wife and son. Immediately she can sense that something is wrong, so she asks him:

Latoya: What’s wrong baby?

WW: Nothing.

Latoya: Why are you acting strange?

WW: I don’t know I’m just tired.

He then buries his head into his hands and starts to cry like a baby.

Latoya: Something is bothering you, what is it.

WW: I don’t know it’s weird. I have never felt this much pressure in my entire life to fight somebody. I’m not used to being called on a challenge. Usually I can trash talk somebody and they back off. But Khadork wants me worse then ever and now the team wants me to fight and I just don’t feel like I have balls any more.

Latoya: You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. You’ve got to be your own man, not a puppet on a string. Never compromise what’s right, and uphold your family name, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.

WW: I’ll try, I just want to do what’s right.

Latoya: You will honey, just grow some balls and everything will be all better.

WW: I’m going to be the man you married.

The Promise
Ishe returns to the gym and immediately calls a meeting with his team. He tells them he has been thinking and that he has decided to stop being a coward and will step up and fight Ahmed. This is what his team wanted to hear, but many of them remained skeptical on whether or not Ishe would deliver this time.

Alfonso: Ishe went home and talked to his wife, he came back here a new man. He says he wants to face Gollum in the ring, we have got to win this challenge so that he can do that.

The team circles around Ishe and put their hands together, he says “I’m taking you guys into the ring with me along with my wife and son and God.” The team gives a rousing cheer of confidence and together with a purpose, they head to the challenge arena.

The Challenge
This weeks challenge is going to be a match of dodge ball. Each team must start by holding onto the fence, and when Sugar Ray says go, they race to the net and grab a ball and try to peg somebody on the other team. If they get hit by a ball, they are out. If they catch a ball, then they can bring somebody back in. Since the West is up by two players, they need to sit somebody out and The King picks Jesse and Alfonso since they recently fought.

East gets the early lead and Ahmed is calling out across the net, taunting Ishe. Ishe stays back near the fence the entire time, even he knows you have to have balls to play this game. Joey takes out 3 in a row to get the West back in it. It comes down to one remaining person on the East, Ahmed. Khadork dodges, dances, ducks, and dishes, but in the end he gets hit in the back. After losing he throws and kicks the balls in a tantrum, what a baby.

The West wins its third challenge in a row. They now will have the choice of who fights. Will Wishy-washy step up and be a man, or will he continue to be proud of the color he is sporting? Will he be a two-time coward? As Alfonso said earlier, “Only time will tell.”

Is he or is he not?
Bilbo calls the West into the gym, “Have you decided, who is going to fight?”. Ishe hesitates but steps forward. “So it’s you then?” The slightest nod of affirmation from Ishe who appears to be in a trance. “OK, we’ll bring in the East.”

The drama builds as Khadork leads his team into the gym, he has a smirk on his face as he anticipates being called out. The camera turns to Wishy who looks like a scared rabbit being forced into something he just doesn’t want to do.

Bilbo: West won the challenge, so they get to choose.

Wishy: Brent come to the line.

Brent points to himself, “Me?” and walks to the center to meet Wishy. The looks on all the faces on both sides are registering an equal amount of shock.

Wishy puts his arm around Brent and whispers something in his ear. Brent whispers back and everyone looks on in disbelief. Then Brent parts and leaves Wishy at the line by himself. Apparantly he just wanted to talk to Brent to gain some strength from his Christian brother.

Wishy speaks but one word, “Ahmed”. Khadork jumps up and almost runs to the line. Toe to toe and eye to eye they stand, heads touching as they stare each other down. There is no love lost between these two fighters.

Bilbo: No fighting here guys, if you do you are disqualified.

A teammate jumps up to separate the two before any blows are exchanged. Ahmed smiles his pretty little smirk, “You are a coward baby.” Ishe just glares back at him in return.

The Battle
In the inner bowels of the gym stands two fighters, one with his wife, the other with his girlfriend. In the arena, the crowd is starting to gather, noblemen and dignitaries from far and wide are filing in to see the match of the century.

Ahmed repeatedly checks his face in the mirror, “I am so pretty, he won’t be able to hurt me, I will be the Lord of the Ring. He’s scared, he’s afraid, he’s not a man, I will win. I will get my precious necklace, it will be mine.”

Ishe is on his knees praying with his wife, channeling her strength, focusing on what lies ahead. “I lost what type of man I was for a couple of days, but now I can feel it coming back. I am ready.”

The crowd is cheering, and Ahmed in his blue hooded robe is walking down the back corridor headed to the ring. He praises Allah and pumps his fists together.

Announcer: In this corner representing the East, Ahmed “Gollum” Khadork

Ahmed climbs into the ring and dances around throwing shadow punches at the air, his robe tossed aside to the corner.

Now Ishe walks out of the training room and down the hall to the arena, his head is held high. “I just want to do this with integrity and be the man I know that I am.”

Announcer: And in this corner representing the West, Ishe “Frodo” Smith

The announcer brings the two to the middle of the ring and instructs them to look at each other. Ishe won’t, he is taller and his eyes are averted to the heavens. Ahmed stands on his tiptoes and tries to look into Ishe’ eyes, but that was as close as it was going to get. They receive their final fight instructions “Protect yourself at all times”.

Round 1
The bell sounds and Ahmed races out of his corner and starts to pummel Ishe with blows to the body and head, he has him up against the ropes with no let up. Ishe seems stunned and out of place. He hears a voice in his head, “You are the master, face your destiny.”

Ahmed delivers another hard body shot, then a right to the head. He backs up and drops his gloves and taunts Ishe, “Is that all you’ve got, come on! Come on!”

Ishe picks up his head and sees Ahmed, though almost for the first time. This is his foe, his enemy. All the trash talk in the world can’t save him now, it is time to strike.

Ishe jabs once or twice and then extends his right fist which connects squarely with Ahmeds jaw. Then he rattles off a barrage of lefts and rights to the body, followed by a few well timed shots to the head. The bell rings and it is anybodies guess who won this round, but one thing is clear, Ishe is for real.

Round 2
The round starts slowly as both fighters size each other up, dancing and bobbing, not wanting to make the first mistake. Finally Ahmed jabs, Ishe punches and then lets loose an uppercut that sends Ahmed backwards. He smirks and lets his guard down for a moment, and then Ishe attacks again.

Round 3
Both boxers dripping with sweat exchange jabs and some solid contact, Ahmed begins to fight dirty as he flings Ishe into the corner. They start again, with Ishe delivering more hard hits to the body in fast succession. The referee tries to pause the fight and Ahmed pushes Ishe to the mat.

Latoya stands up and screams “Hey, he can’t do that!”

Ahmed shows what he is truly all about as he flips her the bird, a telltale smirk crosses his face.

Joey yells “Knock that smile right off his face!”

When the referee allows them to continue, Ishe takes a few jabs, but Ahmed is relentless, he ends the round with a combination that includes an uppercut to Ishe’ jaw.

Round 4
Another battle as the boxers grow weary. The exchanges are pretty even, then Ahmed starts to connect. Ishe slumps over and is tired. The referee calls for the fighting to stop but Ahmed continues with two more blows to the body. Ishe can’t believe how cheap Ahmed is being. When the fighting ensues, Ahmed makes contact with Ishe’ jaw again, just as the bell rings.

Round 5
The fifth and final round commences, the crowd on their feet, the noise is deafening. Several days of crawling all bottled up inside him, he wasn’t holding nothing back, he let him have it all.

“This one is for my father” Ishe hit Ahmed in the face.

“And this one is for my son” a blow to the midriff.

“This one is for my wife” a devilishly fierce connection with the chin.

“But most of all, this one is for me!” The punches were fast and furious, one after the other, relentless until that final bell.

The Verdict
Announcer: The winner, by a unanimous decision, from the West, Ishe “Frodo” Smith

Ishe jumps up into the corner and raises his hands in the air. Suddenly he feels an itching between his legs that he hadn’t felt in days. Yes, his balls were back! He smiles and waves to his wife and son as the crowd cheers for Ishe- the man.

Final Scenes
Khadork skulks off, he can’t believe the outcome, he is in the dressing room pouting and stewing and looking in the mirror again.

Khadork: Master betrayed us! Wicked, tricksy, false. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him! Kill him! And then we take the precious and we be the master. That’s it, a re-match, I want a re-match! I am too pretty to have lost, look at my face, he didn’t hurt me.

Next Week
Stay tuned next week for Lord of the Ring- Return of the King. An unexpected event leads to a vote to bring a defeated fighter back to the Contender. Who will it be? Only time will tell.