I'm back after a two week out-of-the-country hiatus. So was my sarcasm and satire sorely missed? Well I'm here to make up for lost time.

JANE - Sure she's as abrasive as 30-grit sandpaper, but this old goat is as tough as nails. Could it be possible that someone like Jane may fall victim of a potental Anti-Darwin Snyndrome? One more gritty win and the answer could be Yes. Was instrumental in the Queen (Oh, pardon my oversight) "King" Brenda boot.

HOLLY - Does this game turn on a dime, or what? If MB & Co. decided NOT to have a tribal switch this season, in all likelihood, Jane and Holly are the fourth and fifth castaways voted off Survivor 21. Now after episode 10, they are #1 and #2 on the list. Although NaOnka got Brenda's wrath, it was Holly who orchestrated Brenda's boot.

CHASE - The man is trying WAAAAY too hard to associate with everyone. If you want to network with as many players as possible, don't sit in a confessional and complain about being stuck in the middle of two alliances. But I have him ranked here for two reasons: 1) was the MVP of the RC, 2) if he makes the Finals I believe he already has a few votes in his back pocket at FTC.

FABIO - His innocence is as entertaining as Erik was in Skankivor: Micronesia. I think he's in the best postion of anyone in the game. He's a force in the challenges, yet his name doesn't come up as a threat. Like Chase, if he makes the Finals, he'll get votes.

SASH - When all is said and done, Matt may go down as the most craftiest player this season. But the question is if he makes the Finals will the Jury (considering the criteria of recent jurors) actually and unbitterly reward a castaway who played the most proactive solid game of Survivor? I'm sure Marty's grinding an axe with Sash's name on it. Think Brenda will give a vote to someone who did not give her a HII?

BENRY - His name is coming up way too often as a threat to where you think he'll need to go on an IC run just to stay alive. Not a good sign.

NAONKA - Discretion is the better part of valor...unless of course you're NaOnka. During my absence I don't know if any more ridiulous comparisons were being made to Russell, but when Russell sabotaged no one knew he was doing it. Either NaOnka does it in clear view to get caught or she darn near advertises her thiefs and backstabbing. At this point I could care less how far she advances because she has ZERO chance of winning.

DAN - If he worked as hard in the game of Survivor as he did for his "guns," I'd rank him higher. Sadly this inept castaway has F4 written all over him.

KELLY - Jeff asked for the perspective of someone who's 20...what he got was the response of a six-year old. The looks on Alina and Marty's faces were priceless as Kelly tried to give an answer I'm still trying to figure out. Do bubbleheaded hotties like Kelly serve any other purpose in society than being trophy executive wives???

PRODUCTION - Is it a dumb move to surround a buring fire with wooden crates containing food and survival essentials? Does an ex-drill Sergeant make a bad therapist?...Is having a snowball fight with baseball great Randy Johnson a bad idea?...
Production has hit an all-time low casting a complete bunch of idiotic morons!

BOOTED

BRENDA - She went from Asian Sensation, to Queen of Nicaragua, to the self-crowned "king" of the game, to a princess Prima Donna who considers scrambling beneath her, to "OUCH" - I got voted out. It's kinda ironic we heard the word "clueless" from Brenda's mouth this season about as many times as hearing "Oh my God" uttered during the discovery of the campfire debacle. On a positive note we'll now get to see Brenda all dolled-up every episode as she walks into TC.

MARTY - Hands down the best narrator this season. Deep down he probably knew his goose was cooked when Jeff announced the tribal switch, but as a result of his proactive play he lasted a good three more TCs than he should have. Now he's on the Jury where his gift of gab and persuation on the Ponderosa could have a bearing on this season's winner.

ALINA - No surprise here. But could her "she's so irratating" comment about Brenda at TC be a prelude to some spitfire statements at FTC? With Alina, Marty, and now Brenda on the Jury, this certainly has the makings for a nasty bloodbath on Finale Night.