The War At Home: 'FOX: Because Loudmouthed Idiots Need A Protected Nature Conservatory Too.'

Kitchen Confidential: And never, ever watch a show on Mondays, because that's when they dump all the bad stuff...

How I Met Your Mother: How We Got Canceled In Less Than Six Weeks.

Just Legal: Just die.

Out Of Practice: Yes, Mr. Winkler, you certainly are. And now you're out of a job.

Prison Break: Disbelief Nonsuspended.

Surface: Drowned in a sea of Lost imitators.

Commander In Chief: Impeached.

My Name Is Earl: Your ratings are crap.

Bones: CSI: No Hope.

Close To Home: Far From #1.

Sex, Love, & Secrets: UPN, dumb, & doomed.

Supernatural: Superdeplorable.

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. You mean her ten-year training period in making license plates starts this fall?

Invasion: Evaded.

Related: Gawd, I hope not.

Criminal Minds: We've got enough political coverage already, thank you.

E-Ring: I thought they kicked you out of the Army for wearing that sort of thing.

Freddie: No street creddy.

Head Cases: Shrunk out of sight.

Everybody Hates Chris: Wow! I just agreed with everybody!

Reunion: It's an imperfect plot. Only one of them dies.

Night Stalker: 'My parents wanted to re-invent an old show for a new era and all I got was this stinking knock-off.'

Love, Inc: Stupid, Incorporated.

Ghost Whisperer: Softer. I can still hear you.

Twins: Not even with DeVito and Ahnold.

Hot Properties: Finally, a show about the cast's wardrobe.

Inconceivable: You said it, I didn't.

Killer Instinct: No thanks. Already got one.

Three Wishes: I wish Amy Grant was off the air... did it work?

Threshold: Yes, this is just about the threshold point where the Lost bandwagon should start to self-destruct...