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cleogrl 115 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 11:50 AM (EST) "I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie needs to wait for her son to contact her. I doubt an 18 year old in this day and age doesn't know he's adopted. I think she's being too pushy by forcing herself on her son the minute he became an adult. Most kids aren't independent at 18, she needs to let him grow up some and then wait to see if he contacts her. This is about Cassie and her needs, not her son. Cassie has planned this out and I think if she stepped back and put herself in the adoptive family's shoes, she might understand their shutting down. If I were the adoptive mom, I'd be hesitant to let Cassie barge in. First, Cassie isn't exactly the model of accomplishment. There's some embarrassment in knowing that your mother was an alcoholic and to spring it on a teenager might cause them to shut down, etc. I think his parents have every right to protect him. Would you let a woman who you consider to be a "mess" into your child's life? I'd also be hesitant when your child's birthmother is on a tv show filming her every move. I'm glad Cassie is making something of herself and improving. I think she needs to own up to decisions she's made in the past and I don't think her life spiraled downward b/c she gave her son up for adoption. She should become the person her son would be proud to meet and wait to see if her son contacts her.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... eire_heart74 03-20-06 1    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... staceeturner 03-20-06 2        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Sweeti 03-20-06 3            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Jenoc99 03-20-06 4                RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... susan765 03-20-06 5                    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... donnakala 03-20-06 7                        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SOfan0221 03-22-06 37    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... LisaW 03-20-06 6        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... petmama 03-20-06 8            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... LisaW 03-20-06 9            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... eire_heart74 03-20-06 10            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SOfan0221 03-22-06 38  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Mama_Pita 03-20-06 11    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-20-06 12        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... jonimoni 03-20-06 13            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-20-06 14                RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SOWayz 03-20-06 16                    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-20-06 17                    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... PinkRoseLady 03-20-06 19  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... JustBNMe 03-20-06 15    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Sweeti 03-20-06 18        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SOHla 03-20-06 20  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... JustBNMe 03-20-06 21    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Cinnamongirl30 03-20-06 22    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Boots12565 03-20-06 23        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... shawnar 03-20-06 24  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... imamrs 03-21-06 25    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... justfionablue 03-21-06 26    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-21-06 27    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... cleogrl 03-21-06 28        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Sues 03-21-06 29  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... shellyw 03-21-06 30  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... susan765 03-21-06 31    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... pickleme 03-21-06 32        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... bellyButton 03-21-06 33            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... bellyButton 03-21-06 34    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... sweet cheeks 03-21-06 35        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SeasonedRefinement 03-21-06 36            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Baxtera 03-22-06 39                RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Labyrinth 03-22-06 40                    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Baxtera 03-22-06 41            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-22-06 42  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... KittyM 03-22-06 43    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... NewFan 03-22-06 44        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-22-06 45  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... JustBNMe 03-22-06 46    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... SeasonedRefinement 03-22-06 47  RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... beckettrep 03-23-06 48    RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... NicNac 03-23-06 49        RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Baxtera 03-23-06 50            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... JustBNMe 03-23-06 51            RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... 26mitogo 03-23-06 52                RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... Baxtera 03-23-06 53                RE: I think Cassie is being too pus... maudeadams 03-23-06 54

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eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-20-06, 12:08 PM (EST) 1. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " If you watched her last season, there was no doubt that the adoptive mom had alot of anger towards her. She wrote her a letter saying that her son had had trouble with either drugs or drinking (I can't remember which) but she clearly blamed Cassie for it. It wasn't clear if he wanted to meet her or not. The show was trying to spin the idea that the adoptive mom was trying to keep them from meeting or talking. It's really his choice in the end. I would think he would know that he was adopted. I am sure his adoptive mother told him when his addiction problems came to light that his birth mom was the same. I wonder if she ever did get that GED.   Top

staceeturner 183 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 12:53 PM (EST) 2. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Yeah she got her GED they said it on the show, and I don't think her son even knows she is looking for him. I'm glad she is back there is only one problem with her I can not stand and that is her syrupy voice and I know she means well and Christie is already judging her cause she is happy and made it thru sobriety.and I think that makes Chritie a little jealous but I think that Cassie will be a good asset to the house and that is just my opionion. short&sassy   Top

Sweeti 138 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 01:14 PM (EST) 3. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I don't remember where i read it but i believe the adopted mother told her son Cassie was dead. i can't say more it would be a spoiler..LOL but the your birth mom died part is older news.   Top

Jenoc99 102 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 01:26 PM (EST) 4. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I agree that Cassie has to back off. If she is going to barge in on her son's life and be overbearing, she will turn him off, and it could take years and years to recover. I know she is anxious, and that is understandable, however... she needs to learn how to "turn it down" a bit and relax! There are so many issues related to adoption, this needs to be handled carefully. I also think that Cassie MUST be respectful of the adoptive mother's feelings, because to hurt her feelings could also alienate her son, too. When you search the internet for people seeking their biological relatives, it is usually the child that was given up for adoption who is seeking the parent. The reason for this is, usually, because the parent feels that they signed away their rights and they need to be patient and wait.. if the adult child wants to find them, they will initiate the contact. I'm not saying I agree with this thought process 100%, but in Cassies' case, it might be better if her son was the one who looked for her.. that way he would be emotionaly ready for everything.   Top

susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 01:48 PM (EST) 5. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie's attitude always bothered me because she equated adoption with foster care. You could always tell that she believed that she was her son's only mother and this other women was just a baby sitter. By forcing herself on them repeatedly and forcefully through a TV show she showed she had no respect for the Adoptive parents. Having 3 kids I can tell you that the giving birth is the easiest part of the whole process. She should have just written him a letter giving him her contact info. Made sure it reached his hand and left it at that.   Top

donnakala 9 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 02:36 PM (EST) 7. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " >Cassie's attitude always bothered me because >she equated adoption with foster >care. You could always >tell that she believed that >she was her son's only >mother and this other women >was just a baby sitter. > By forcing herself on >them repeatedly and forcefully through >a TV show she showed >she had no respect for >the Adoptive parents. Having >3 kids I can tell >you that the giving birth >is the easiest part of >the whole process. > >She should have just written him >a letter giving him her >contact info. Made sure it >reached his hand and left >it at that. > > I totally agree with you. She did always act like someone was just taking care of her son until she got her life in order. I have such a problem with Cassie being back in the house. Why can't she sit at home and write a letter to her son? Why does she need to go to the SO house to do this? It's so stupid! She's already made her son's situation public news. Stop it! I realize my view on this may be colored because I am so sick of Cassie and her voice and her mouth I don't even want to watch her. Do they not have enough women going to the casting calls that they have to continue to bring the others back? OK. Sorry about the rant but I'm the only one in my family who watches the show and I HAVE to talk to someone sometimes. I usually end up liking most of the women but once they've come, stayed and graduated - enough! It's overkill to bring them back. (In my humble opinion)   Top

SOfan0221 828 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-22-06, 07:08 AM (EST) 37. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Love your rant donnakala, it's the same in my house....have to rant or I'll explode and hubby can't stand SO. I agree that Cassie seems to have it in her head that Dustin needs to know. And maybe he does, but not for the reasons she gives. He needs to know for medical reasons, family history of drugs and alcohol. As for meeting Cassie, the ball should be in his court and not hers. As I recall the story, Cassie in her drunken and or drugged state gave this family a lot of grief when Dustin was younger. Perhaps before Cassie got sober?? Anyway, I seem to remember that was where a lot of the adoptive mothers anger came from, from Cassies previous behavior. So the adoptive mother expects problems from Cassie and she is protecting her son - not Cassies son. Cassie is the birth mother, Dustins real mother is the one who raised him, who stayed up nights when he was sick, who nutured him......and that wasn't Cassie. Did I also hear correctly when Cassie was filling out the adoption information papers for Oregon state that one of those forms was $400 to file? Wonder if SO will pick up the tab for that? For even though Cassie supposedly is standing on her own two feet what I heard is that she is renting a 'room' in someones house - not that she has an apartment, or even a small house just a room. On a positive note, I am glad she got her GED because quite honestly I never thought she would follow up without Rhonda on her butt about it.   Top

LisaW 34 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 02:10 PM (EST) 6. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Yes, (eire_heart) I remember that. (Mom with the anger issues for what every reason-her right) Her son's adoptive mother was not friendly at all. It sounded to me that Cassie just wants to be accepted or rejected by her son not her son's mother. That makes a big difference. Let him choose. I think that is all they are trying to do. Basically if her son is making the decision she is going to have learn to live with his decision because it’s his decision.   Top

petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 03-20-06, 02:50 PM (EST) 8. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie was misled into thinking it would be an open adoption.   Top

LisaW 34 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 03:11 PM (EST) 9. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " (petmama) I think in a lot of ways that's true. It's very rare to see reunions that don't work out on TV. All the shows that have done them in the past have for the most part had some kind of happy reunion. So why would hers be any different. It's actually refreshing to see something go array. Because I think a lot of the time it's not all roses, smiles and hugs. It's reality.   Top

eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-20-06, 03:43 PM (EST) 10. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " >Cassie was misled into thinking it >would be an open adoption. > It's not that I don't think that could happen but seeing as she was a drunk at the time, her memory isn't going to be that clear. I think she heard or imagined what she wanted to hear. Like others that have posted, It seems to me she just was waiting for someone to come in and clean up after her. Like let me adopt out my son to take care of him and I'll come back for him when I want too.   Top

SOfan0221 828 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-22-06, 07:15 AM (EST) 38. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " That is Cassies version of it. She also admits she was drunk during her pregnancy. This could be a true perception or it could be a story she told herself so much over the years that she now beleives it to be a fact. With Cassie I find it hard to tell.   Top

Mama_Pita 122 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 04:28 PM (EST) 11. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie needs to "build a bridge and GET over it already"!!!! She wasted her entire life chasing a dream that might not come true, And she says that she can handle whatever the outcome it?? Bologna!! To me, she is a flakey now as she has been in the past. Her face looks soo miserably drained. But drained of what? And if she wanted a kid so bad after giving up her first born, she should have had one. The reason she didnt have another is because she is unstable. And she will never snap out of that, no matter if her son talks to her or not.   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 04:37 PM (EST) 12. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " If they are even contemplating doing some kind of reunion as part of the show then he has to know that she is on a show and bringing all this up. That might keep him away. Definately, the adopted mom must have issue with that. Dealing with all the mixed feelings (abandonment, split loyalties, etc) will be hard enough in private. No matter what, his story is public even if he never comes on the show. I feel for Cassie but she needs to let him decide if he even wants a relationship. She has put it out there and it's his choice. It seems like she is pouring all her feelings and energies into something that may not happen or may not be wonderful even if it does. Many of these "reunions" just open old wounds and new problems. A boy of 18 is probably trying to pull away from the parental figure he already has and may not be looking to add another one. I also think the adopted mother's anger and hesitation is perfectly natural.   Top

jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 04:58 PM (EST) 13. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " LAST EDITED ON 03-20-06 AT 04:59 PM (EST) We all need to remember that he was 18 LAST time Cassie (bobble head) was on this show. He has to be close to 20 years old now. I cannot believe that he did not see her and her sorry self on her last visit. God! I cannot stand this whiney, so sorry for herself, middle aged, addict, stuck in the 80's, bleached blonde....I could go on forever with every nasty word that applies to her.... Would Rhonda please tell her that this young man owes her nothing, the adoptive mom only owes her thanks. Tell this sack of crap to make herself happy, if he ever decides to meet her it is up to HIM! The other thing that Rhonda needs to do is tell Cassie to lay off Dustin's mother....she is his mother, children are very protective of their parents. Cassie, while she gave birth, did nothing else for this child, she gave him up so he could have a better life, let him have it, she is not a mom. Good greif, she acts like the adoptive mom owes her the world, even after Cassie went on a nationally televised program and told the world the bobblehead version of the a-mom's dirty laundry...I would have sued her.....   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 05:01 PM (EST) 14. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Good point. I forget so much time had past. What you said also made me think that he may have watched her on the show.   Top

SOWayz 179 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 05:50 PM (EST) 16. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I'm adopted, no way would I want that mess moving into my life. Being 18 means that HE can chose, do you realize how easy it would have been for him to get in touch with her if he had wanted to? I believe that Cassie felt it would be an open adoption because she is incapable of making any truly decisive decision. She hasn't changed, an adult is patient and loving toward a child. She has dragged him out into public, she doesn't care how he feels.   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-20-06, 06:00 PM (EST) 17. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " She has let him know she would be receptive. Now it's his turn to reach out, ignore, forget or whatever. Trying to force something is the worst thing to do. Trying to make things happen on her schedule not his is insensitive. It may be years before he chooses to contact her. If she pushes when he isn't ready it may blow up in her face. If she leaves him alone and lets him work through his feelings at his own pace there may be a point in the future when he is ready to have some kind of relationship; though it may never be the relationship she wants.   Top

PinkRoseLady 83 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-20-06, 06:25 PM (EST) 19. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " But isn't that exactly the point? How can he track her down if he's either A) Never been told he's adopted; or B) Told she's dead?? We don't even know that he was really involved in that "signed" letter which was presented to Cassie, telling her to get lost. From the little information we were given about the adoptive family, I have my doubts. And I think the adoptive parents' attorney, the agency, the adoptive family, all thought that what they had on their hands was a drugged out biological mother and they told her whatever she wanted to hear. She was naive and messed up and didn't know enough to get it in writing. She went through the next years believing it was an open adoption, when it never really was. If she had an attorney representing her, then it would have been in writing, and the attorney had a responsibility to make sure she understood the terms. What does the Adoption Decree say? Does she have a copy? I've always wondered about that.... And if it really WAS an open adoption, maybe they just refused to comply. If she didn't hire an attorney and fight it, they could get away with whatever they wanted. You can get away with just about anything if nobody contests it or catches you. Right? I think the adoptive mother is keeping a potentially positive and joyful part of her son's family from him. The substance abuse problems that he has had are probably more a result of his upbringing and environmental and social problems than a biological legacy from Cassie. Granted, it could be a combination, but I think the adoptive mother is motivated by her own fear for HERSELF, and not her son. What she is forgetting is that human beings have an infinite capacity for love. If the boy loves her now, he will love her after he meets (and gives his love) to Cassie, too. This kid has had adoptive parents, whom divorced, and at least one stepmom, who is now an exstepmom. I'm not sure how many "parents" he's had, and I wonder if maybe Cassie could bring stability and continuity that he's thus far lacked. At the least, she could be one more person to love him and enrich his life. Is that so awful? I just think Cassie needs to know for sure that he is aware of her existence and desire to know him. I have no reason to think that if she knew, once and for all, FROM HIM, that he doesn't want to meet her, or isn't ready, that she would pursue it further.   Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-20-06, 05:39 PM (EST) 15. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Everything Cassie does is strictly for Cassie and Cassie only. She is the one with unresolved issues and the only reason they are unresolved is because she hasn't gotten the answer she wants and won't let it go and move on. With all the internet info available, private investigator's and stuff like that if Cassie's son wanted to find her he could and would. he could even ask his adopted mom if he really wanted to know. Maybe since it was said that he is a drug addict/alcohiolic he doesn't care about Cassie. I don't know alot of 19-20 year old boys/men who are not addicts who run around wondering if their biological mother is alive or not let alone addicted kids. They have other things in their life and most don't really search in earnest until a little later in life if at all. I wish SO would let old HG be old HG and move on to new story lines and new HG instead of recycling them. Isn't it bad enouogh we had tio ednure a 2nd season with Allisham and put up with Lisa1 at the same time. Don't we deserve a break from the pushy, whiny, fake people like Csssie?   Top

Sweeti 138 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 06:11 PM (EST) 18. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " i feel for her son... first he wasnt told he was adopted untill he was older( if i remember right) then he is told his birth mom is dead, finds out thats not true. now here she is for the SECOND time on national TV blathering on about him. cut the kid a break cassie!adopt a puppy..   Top

SOHla 119 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 06:40 PM (EST) 20. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " >>cut the kid a break cassie!adopt a puppy.. < NOOOOOOOOOOOO! don't give her any ideas.....poor puppy, to have to live with that mess! Adopt a doll!!!!   Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-20-06, 09:28 PM (EST) 21. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Okay here's the other thing with this whole ordeal with Cassie and her son...she claims she just wants her son to know she exists. Okay then what? You know that won't be enough for her she always wants more and more and more. Then it will be "I just want to send him my picture so he knows what I look like". Okay then it will move to being "I just want to see him", then on to "I just want to meet him", then "I just want to hug him" and on and on and on. It will never end and will never satisfy Cassie.   Top

Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-20-06, 09:53 PM (EST) 22. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Three words for Cassie "get over it". Yeah it sucks that it turned out this way for her and i'm sure it kills her inside but face reality. It happened and there is nothing she can do about it until or if he decides he wants to pursue a reunion. Someone wrote that the adoptive mother told him that his birth mother was dead. If that is true then she is seriously warped and probably feeding the kid bull so who knows what this kid was brought up to believe. Bringing her back is only opening up old wounds and in my opinion a waste of time. This issue is old news and in a sense giving Cassie some false hope for the sake of starting over ratings. How typical   Top

Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-20-06, 10:11 PM (EST) 23. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " O.K.-I think cassie has a right to pursue a relationship with her son-IMHO-There are STILL alot of questions about the whole adoption -That havent been resolved -After all -As harsh as it sounds-She could have chosen abortion-She didnt-She is alot older now and to me at least -regrets her past-Bottom line-Cassie NEEDS to hear it from Dustin that he wants nothing to do with her!Or does he?Either way-I would like to see this issue resolved once and for all-Maybe this time?Peace   Top

shawnar 366 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 03-20-06, 10:52 PM (EST) 24. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I am kind of indifferent about Cassie being in the house. I guess it doesn't bother me either way. Yes, she does have some annoying habits (bobble head, sqeaky voice) but she is not by far the worst houseguest. I am intrested in hearing what happens with her son and I am glad that she finally got her G.E.D. and I do think she has alot of common ground with almost every house guest. I think the update was a good example that your life is not fixed after you graduate from the show. Maybe you are able to handle lifes challenges better. Besides it doesn't look like she'll be there long.   Top

imamrs 59 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-21-06, 10:07 AM (EST) 25. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I have never been particularly fond of Miss Cassie. The poor pitiful me routine does get a bit taxing. I am not sure Cassie is as "meek" as she tries to come across. I think there is a real "tiger clawed mean" streak down deep inside of her. Kudos to her for staying sober all this time and finally getting her GED. Now, the SO needs to step in and help find things that will make Cassie feel better about herself (a better job, going to college etc.). Cassie has very unrealistic hopes about the reunion. Personally, I think she feels that by meeting her son her life will be complete. Cassie has not accepted that it is very hard to make up for lost time. The truth is it could also create much more havoc in her life. The adoptive parents are not bad. They are protective over a son they raised. Cassie is so blind to that. She has created a fantasy that the adoptive parents were evil people and she needs to come in and rescue her son. The truth is she gave up the right to call him her son years ago! I am adopted. A few years ago I looked for my birth parents. 10 percent out of curiousty, 90 percent to find out my medical history. Unfortuantley, the adoption home could not locate them or even a realive. I had and still do not have any expectations of a instant relationship with them. I realize that my birth mother felt the best choice for me was to give me up for adoption. My adoptive parents are not the greatest but they probably gave me more than she could of at the time.   Top

justfionablue 62 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-21-06, 11:09 AM (EST) 26. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Remember there is a whole generation of birth mothers who were shamed by being "unwed mothers" (doesn't apply today) and were brainwashed into believing that if they truly loved their babies they would let them be adopted by more "acceptable" adoptive parents. They were further brainwashed into thinking that if they really cared about their child they would leave them alone and never contact them no matter how much the birth mother wanted to. I don't think the assumption can be made that because the birth parent has not contacted the adoptive child it means that they do not want to. The most reasonable solution is to let both parties know about each other (once the child reaches 18) and let them develop whatever relationship works for both of them. It may be one phone call, one meeting, or a lifetime relationship. It depends on the people involved. I do believe that you can never have too many people in your life who care about you. In Cassie's case she needs to let him know that she exists and how to contact her and then wait and let him decide what he would like to do. It may take time. And it really should be private. Not on television.   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-21-06, 11:11 AM (EST) 27. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Maybe Cassie will get to hear how the reunion "of sorts" went for Kim and her mom. Not an identifical situation but there were still feelings of abandonment by the child who is struggling to form a relationship with the parent. Kim's situation somewhat reinforces that Cassie made the right decision to have him adopted. So many of the talk shows do these adoption reunion shows that end with the kisses and hugs. What they don't show is what a struggle these people have after the fact trying to accept the flaws of each other and form some type of relationship. I know of adoption "reunions" that haven't worked out very well at all and in some cases the child regretted ever reconnecting.   Top

cleogrl 115 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 11:16 AM (EST) 28. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I agree with another poster who suggested that Cassie sort of views her son's adoption as foster care. She treats his parents role as temporary, they were put in place to sort of just take care of him until she could get her act together. I think part of Cassie's problem is that she isn't someone who could really deal with giving her child up. I think we have this mentality in this country that most women can be pregnant for 9 months and then just give their child up. I hear people say automatically that every woman has this option "oh, she can just give the baby up for adoption". We assume that women are no more involved than a golden retreiver with a litter of puppies. I think its marvelous when a woman can give her child up for adoption but I think we need to recognize that women need options and not every woman can make this choice. I also question open adoption, to me it seems like parenting with strings. I think raising kids is hard enough w/o having one or both birth parents showing up at will. I can understand providing pictures and updates when requested, but a lot of this open adoption seems to be that the parents sit waiting with a time bomb to go off. Why are the houseguests so negative toward the adoptive mother? It's not like this boy didn't have parents growing up. If I were the parents, I would be ticked off by this being portrayed on tv. These parents had addiction problems with their child and I can understand they had and continue to have "rocky" times with their son. Cassie expects to just step in 'cause she wants to and they are supposed to just step aside and let her in. She's so selfish. After hearing that her son was involved with drugs and alcohol, you would think Cassie would have stepped back, nope, now she's more aggressive in her pursuit. I don't understand why Rhonda is so sympathetic to her plight and allows Cassie to be a total victim.   Top

Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-21-06, 11:22 AM (EST) 29. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " "After hearing that her son was involved with drugs and alcohol, you would think Cassie would have stepped back, nope, now she's more aggressive in her pursuit. " Because Cassie truly believes that she can save him....you know after he gets a job and pays her rent.....   Top

shellyw 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 12:48 PM (EST) 30. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie gave her son to that horrible woman. I believe the adoptive mother is a control freak who does not appreciate the rare gift she received. The adoptive mother should have brought up her son to love and cherish the birthmother that gave him life and sacrificed her own needs to give him a better home. However is it a better home? I think the adoptive mother has a lot to hide, a divorce a son addicted and feels threatened by the birth mother, the one person who most likely can understand his addictions and help him feel complete. Birth mothers have unconditional love and acceptance for their children, perhaps this is the adoptive mother's fear. Shame on that adoptive mother! How dare her put Cassie thru so much pain for her own selfish needs. It sounds to me like the birthson could really use a friend who understands what he is going thru and his genetic tendencies for addiction.   Top

susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 01:09 PM (EST) 31. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie was horrified to hear the adoption attorney tell her to do the right thing and sign up on the Oregon registry. Cassie only thinks about herself. No matter how she sugar coats her words the message comes through that she thinks she is entitled to a relationship with this very young fragile man. The right thing to do would be sign up on the registry and wait until he feels ready to contact her. Cassie needs to get her A** out of her behind and move on. And the housemates need to stop encouraging her to invade the privicy of this young man.   Top

pickleme 56 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 03-21-06, 02:28 PM (EST) 32. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " While I understand what some posters' objections are to Cassie, I have to say imo I'll take four Cassies to one former stripper/escort/exotic dancer any day! Cassie has had a hard life. Again imo, until she is able to communicate in a direct manner with her biological son, this situation will not begin to be resolved. I remain interested in seeing Cassie finish what she started last season in the house.   Top

bellyButton 171 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 04:34 PM (EST) 33. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " LAST EDITED ON 03-21-06 AT 04:42 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 03-21-06 AT 04:40 PM (EST) don't know what all said about how irritating her voice is and so on..or how pushy she is...i guess in a way you can see her that way but this is what starting over is all about. i don't care if she whistles when she speaks.... she made mistakes..boy howdy so have i...and i have suffered for it..i hope her son will meet her. heck, she's no threat. she's little...she has no power. she's even scared of what he'll think. i think of my own family. i have my dad..he was an abusive man and that was while not drinking so no excuse there...but he just turned mid 70's..had a stroke..now it's changed his personality..all of a sudden he's calling me 'his girl' at me (fifty)..and it makes me cry.he's hugging me and he never did when i was growing up. my baby book, he took all his pics of mom, he and myself as a baby and cut himself out. why? i dunno. but three more kids came after me and he didn't do it then. i have alot of questions i will not ask. i'm just thankful he wants to be affectionate tho it also is a bit scary. i feel like the child that always wanted my daddy...well i wanted him til he beat me then i wanted him dead. at six yrs old..that was my thoughts of him..dead, gone..just as long as he was gone or if i could hurt him i would have. if i can forgive him and he has not asked for it and start having a relationship with him of father and daughter..if it's even one year as ill as he is i hope it's more. it's a form of starting over. i've needed forgiveness...i wonder if this young adopted man's parents have ever done anything wrong. she could have kept him..and hurt him. i see children on tv all the time beaten for years and the parents both did it..but instead she let him go to where he would be SAFE. that's the ultimate love. to love enough to let go...i don't know if i could live thru that. i'm for cassie..whiney voice and all.   Top

bellyButton 171 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 04:43 PM (EST) 34. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " and by the way he didn't cut himself out cuz he wasn't my dad..unless he has a twin i look like.   Top

sweet cheeks 130 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-21-06, 05:22 PM (EST) 35. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I feel for sweet Cassie. I think the best thing for her to do is , Signed up for the registry in Oregon. And just try and wait. I think this young man deserves to meet and know his Mom. To me the adoptive Mother was not a good Mom. She is on her third marriage. This young man has had several step Moms and stepdads. So even though Cassie thought this one an open addoption it did not turn out that way. And I know she was young and stupid as we all were when we were young. I think that Cassie has been kept from her son. Who know's the addoptive Mom may not be a stable person either. The way it has turned out , seems to me she isn't. Blaming Cassie for his addictive problems , thats a bunch of hog wash.   Top

SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-21-06, 07:29 PM (EST) 36. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I wasn't on the boards when Cassie did her first SO stint. I had no idea that so many people found her so irritating. My biggest concern about Cassie was her life-long worship of...gulp...John Davidson, lol. I do remember thinking that SO seemed to be running full-steam ahead to make a mother/son reunion happen last year: hiring lawyers, contacting ex-wives, and having Cassie make a video tape. I really bought into the whole fantasy that the story would conclude with a reunion (but I told you I'm a sucker for story book endings, LOL)! Then a letter showed up...it's authenticity and notarization was questioned...and suddenly everything came to a screeching halt. Cassie "decided" to give up the search, she got a hair-cut and a dye job that caused her to have a breakdown, and then she graduated - with no resolution and no GED. Now she's back. As I watched today, I found it hard to believe that Cassie apparently thought she was coming back to pick up on the search. Is it really possible that not one B/M rep told Cassie that she was only coming back for a tune-up, so to speak? Nah...I don't buy that for a minute. I know that her personality and voice may be irritating, but I would take a house full of Cassie's if it meant avoiding the occasional Jill, Deborah, or Allison. She may not have suffered through the same type of childhood that Kim has, but being molested as a young child does cause signficant emotional damage. So, like countless other molestation victims, she became a substance abusing, promiscuous woman. In a drunken haze, Cassie became pregnant in 1986/7. Her three choices were the same all women in her position are faced with: termination, adoption, or single motherhood. She made a tough decision - there is no denying that. Apparently, she felt it was the decision she could best live with. Because she willingly severed her maternal rights, Cassie will have to accept the fact that her selflessness was not some type of investment plan that would eventually yield the big dividend of a mother/son reunion simply because the child had reached his eighteenth birthday. Prior to his birth, she held all of the cards - she had the position of power. I don't know what type of adoption she and her lawyer negotiated, but she CAN read. If she wanted an unconventional arrangement which guaranteed her liberal visitation with the child, she should have never signed anything that compromised her wishes. SO has apparently exhausted all legal avenues available to them, so her choices are extremely limited now. Will she continue to agonize over that decision and pray for the day that her surrendered child will re-enter her life? Of course, she is human and she did bear that child. Added to that is the realization that she never did have any other children (and probably won't), and giving birth to that boy (and surrendering him) may have been the single best move of her life. She does want to see how that turned out. Being in her position, it's understandable. But is it legal? The current attorney has told her to accept the probability that the notarized letter is authentic and enforceable. I tend to agree with that because I don't think the adoptive mother would propigate such a fraud knowing that the adversary had the vast resources of a television program or production company. Cassie's son may very well search for her one day. I think he will. Signing up for the Oregan birth parent/child registration is Cassie's best option at this point. It sounds like it will cost about $250 (and I think SO will cover that). In the meantime, none of us know anything about the adoptive mother except the one story that came from an ex-wife of the adoptive parent. Yes, she said that the boy has had problems, but I can't assume that Shelly's motives in disclosing that information were untainted (not too many wives and ex-wives are on the best of terms). One day the boy will be a man, in every sense of the word. The decision to reunite with his birth mother will be his, and his alone. Now Cassie needs to get back to getting her life established. She's made progress, but she's far from being where most women in their mid-40's should be. And while she's doing that, she can continue to hope and pray for her son's heart to be opened to the possibility of finding her. If he wants to do that, any competent attorney (or even a legal website) would probably direct him to the state registration to which Cassie is now adding her name. *******************************************   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-22-06, 08:39 AM (EST) 39. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Choosing to go through with a pregancy and adoption is a act of great selflessness but there is not pay off down the road. This SO experience is not the first of Cassie's efforts to harrass and bother this adoptive mother. She has made efforts during her druken years as well. Her argreement was to walk away and it was a great gift to her son to not be raised by an acholhic. If she thinks his life is screwed up now compound that by ten fold. Everyone bashes this mother because the son is having drug issues. Go out to the suburbs, look at those nice houses and nice yards and if you could go inside you'd find some very nice parents dealing with similiar problems. You don't have to be "bad" parents to have kids with drug problems. Sometimes the drugs just find your kids and you have to deal with it. Kids who are born with fetal achol syndrome (don't know if her son has it but I've worked with students who were born to mother's who drank during pregnancy) are at a higher risk for learning problems and sadly addiction issues. Once again I don't know if he has these issues but drinking during pregnancy does put a child at risk for life long problems if your a heavy drinker. In this country we think that there are quick fixes to big mistakes. Cassie was a drunk, she got pregnant and had no way to raise the child. The only reason that child is alive at all for her to even want to seek out is someone else did all the work to keep it alive. Now she is ready to be a Mom, everyone is supposed to give her that chance.   Top

Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-22-06, 09:43 AM (EST) 40. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " >Kids who are born with >fetal achol syndrome (don't know >if her son has it >but I've worked with students >who were born to mother's >who drank during pregnancy) are >at a higher risk for >learning problems and sadly addiction >issues. Exactly. Cassie is an addict, and acknowledged being an addict during the pregnancy. This leads to a higher chance that her son will develop an addictive personality. He may even have had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and why the adoptive mom blames Cassie. There is also discussion that addicts have a genetic tendency of passing that onwards - look at Allison and her parents; look at Christy and her mother; etc... etc... Just because the son has issues with drug has no reflection (w/o more data) on how he was raised. Cassie needs to just contact the Oregon association and process through them and let time move on and the "boy" grow up. Personally, if I was an adoptive mom and got notice from the birth mother that she was on a television show searching for her son I would contact an attorney and tell them no way.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-22-06, 09:52 AM (EST) 41. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " LAST EDITED ON 03-22-06 AT 09:54 AM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 03-22-06 AT 09:53 AM (EST) Cassie's tapes of SO are probably the best recruiting tools that foreign adoption agencies could ever have. Truthfully having friends who have adopted both domestically and through foreign agencies one of the biggest concerns about domestic adoptions that all express privately is ending up with an interfering birth mother that can't separate from the child and sadly at least in one case a birth mom who came back for the child. Many I've met have gone the foreign route because it is one of the few ways to insure the mother will rarely come looking for the child. Not all of them even go for babies. I had a family in school who adopted school age children through a foreign religious agencency because while they were willing to take on the challenges of older children they were afraid with a domestic adoption there was always a chance that when the mother got her act together she might want to come back and have another shot at raising the children. I have the ultimate respect for foster parents who realize they are in the business of temporarily housing children. There is no guarentee those children will ever be free for adoption and it takes a special kind of parent to be able to provide love and care for a child all the while knowing the child could be returned to a parent who previously abused or neglected that child. I for one know I don't have the temperment to do it. However, parents adopt as a life time commitment not as a temporary holding until the parents can decide if they have their act together and want the child in their lives. Cassie seems to think her son has been in foster care all these years and that adoption was only a state of mind. It is mother's like her that drive adoptive parents overseas because they have a very good chance that Cassie won't be showing up at their door demanding their attention. How sad for the kids who need good homes here.   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-22-06, 11:44 AM (EST) 42. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " LAST EDITED ON 03-22-06 AT 11:46 AM (EST) SeasonedRefinement, you stated points I've been thinking about also. Other than the divorces the adopted mother went through we only have the word of her ex-husbands other wife. Not saying that she is intentionally bashing her but as you so well stated most second wives and first wives do not share alot of love or high opinion of each other. I did question that what Shelly did was appropriate. If I recall correctly she is also divorced form the adopted father. What right did she have to provide so much information (true or slanted) to the birth mother. While her heart may be in the right place I don't think this was her call to make. If she had so much concern for the boy then maybe she should have spoken to him but not to Cassie. If I was the child (young adult) in question and I found out that all these people have been keeping this from me and conversing with the birth mother without my knowing or even asking how I feel about it, I would feel very betrayed by all these people who supposedly love me. I do hope that Cassie and her son can someday meet and form some kind of relationship. I'm just not sure that Cassie is ready for what the reality of this meeting would be. The other HGs feeding her their belief that they thought she was there to meet him was so wrong and I'm glad they quickly realized it and that Rhonda took Cassie aside and made that clear. Cassie needs to take this next step of filing with the state of Oregon that focus her energies on becoming the person she wants to be. As the lawyer said, most adopted children will at some point in there life search for their birth parents. It just may not be in the time frame that Cassie wants.   Top

KittyM 4 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 03-22-06, 03:36 PM (EST) 43. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I totally agree - I couldn't believe it today when she referred to him as "my own son." He WAS her son, now he is someone else's son and she needs to butt out IMHO.   Top

NewFan 139 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-22-06, 04:23 PM (EST) 44. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I'm sure someone already knows the answer to this, but I was thinking maybe they brought Cassie back because they know that the son had already registered in Oregon? If she then registers too, a third party will conduct a meeting of the two. With all of the names, details, partial pictures and timelines that were shown on TV last season, someone had to have suspected who the young man was and told him. Am I way off base?   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-22-06, 05:59 PM (EST) 45. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " NewFan, I was thinking along the same lines. In fact I'm from Oregon and have nephews that were adopted in that state. I even wondered for a brief moment if it could be one of them (but the situation with the divorces and re-marriages doesn't fit). That would have been too much of a coincidence of course but the thought process makes sense that others seeing the show would be making similar comparisons. I wouldn't be surprised if he is even aware of her having been on the show.   Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-22-06, 06:02 PM (EST) 46. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I am soooooo sick of Cassie saying the same thing over and over and over again. She is like a cd that is stuck (I almost said record but that would be dating myself LOL). Someone needs to kick her in the butt and make her move on or at least remove her from the house. She is not hearing anything anyone says to her she has her mind made up about how things should be and that's al she is focused on she is not even remotely in touch with reality.   Top

SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 03-22-06, 08:18 PM (EST) 47. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Great points, guys. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is something I thought about as well. Is Dustin afflicted? I got the impression that Cassie was a pretty bad drunk. I've been sitting here thinking about how I would feel if I had adopted either of my children at birth. My cousin went through considerable expense and a huge intrusion into her personal life to successfully adopt a newborn back in November, 1982. Her absolute devotion to her child was identical to mine. SHE was his mother. Two years later, she and her husband had a nursery set up for another child, a girl (who they were picking up immediately after her birth in Arizona). On the day they were to fly out to Arizona to get her, their attorney called with the news that the birth mother had changed her mind (that was within the scope of her rights). My cousin, a fantastic mother and amazing person, was absolutely devastated. She didn't talk about it much, but her mother told the family how incredibly disappointed they were. I would be sickened if some Starting Over contestant was the birth mother of my child. Whoever said it was right...if that were the case, I would have gone straight to an attorney. In the pit of my stomach, it would really bother me that she was trying to force herself into my life and the lives of MY children. I'd have to accept my child's choice to reach out to her, but I really don't think I'd like it. No...I know I wouldn't like it. Cassie has exhausted her possibilities. If Dustin wants to find her, he will. She HAS to accept that. *******************************************   Top

beckettrep 814 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-23-06, 09:12 AM (EST) 48. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Cassie is just a SO "Loser of the Season" poster child. It's a whole nother season and she still doesn't have a REAL job and is renting a ROOM, not an apt. of her own. Maybe SO has decided to start bringing back all the SO Losers as a means of explaining why the show will probably not be picked up for a Season 4. I guess next we can expect to see Josie - another loser - I'm really curious why they seem so reluctant to bring in actual 'new' housemates lately???   Top

NicNac 131 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 03-23-06, 09:39 AM (EST) 49. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I had to keep asking myself while watching Cassie talking to Rhonda:"Is she for real?" Or are the pouty, lip curling, puppy dog looks just for attention. I honestly can't stand to watch her or listen to her talk in that phony little girl voice. And I noticed that Rhonda (as they were leaving the room) was talking back to Cassie in the same type of baby talk. "I tried to trick you but you didn't fall for it..........blah blah blah - Cassies such a big girl now. aRRGGGGGGGGGG Begone Cassie   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-23-06, 11:07 AM (EST) 50. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I can't imagine why Rhonda doesn't bring in a speech therapist to have her work on trying to develop a professional speech pattern. That has to hurt her ability to get and hold a professional job. Her speech patterns are awful and encouraging like Rhonda does only enables her to continue to fail. Who would hire her when she sounds half out of it even though she's supposed to be sobor she sounds out of it.   Top

JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 03-23-06, 12:30 PM (EST) 51. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " I have to laugh when Cassie says she is organized, good with people etc. If she was organized her life wouldn't be a mess and she'd have the things she needed (like a resume) to do the things she needs to do to take care of herself. I cannot imagine her as a personal assistant at all. I wouldn't want her answering my phone with that voice of hers either. She has poor communication skills and butchers the English language at times. Her voice and speech patterns do not instill trust in her or her abilities.   Top

26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 03-23-06, 12:48 PM (EST) 52. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Re Cassie's voice ... I remember one day last year when Cassie was to do everything "different" (I think that was the day). Cassie actually used a normal voice. It was awesome. She has a great "normal" voice and I was hoping she'd come back having practiced her adult voice and now uses it naturally. As for finding "HER son" ... (I think you can guess by that what my opinion is). I never gave a child up for adoption so I could never even pretend to understand what it must feel like. But I do know how I feel about my child and I'm sure it's no different than any parent, adopive or biological, who loves their child with a love they never knew existed before becoming a parent. The mother who adopted Cassie's son may not have been the perfect, ideal mother. However, if that was the reason for people who give children up for adoption to have carte blanche access to that birth child, there would be no final adoptions. Period. I'm not saying I agree with everything we were allowed to hear and the impression we were given about this woman, I just don't think that should have any bearing, at this stage of the game, on whether Cassie should be forcing her way on national tv on this teenager. #1 ... he IS still a teenager. As anyone will tell you that has a teenager, has ever had a teenager, knows much about teenagers, or has ever been around teenagers, they don't want to be "different". They don't like having attention drawn to themselves for something that could be extremely embarrasing. #2 ... If he has had problems with drugs &/or alcohol ... whether it has anything to do with being born from an addict mother or resulting from an unstable home life, or any of the millions of reasons kids drink or try any drug ... he has enough to deal with at this time. Stability and success are paramount. Adding more onto his plate could push him further into his need to escape his reality. #3 ... Cassie has had a difficult and unstable life. Whether you feel for her or are sick of her, you have to admit, this isn't someone you would want to find at your door step if you yourself had a lot of difficult things to deal with already. She is not stable at this point in her life, she is not as yet able to support herself, and she is still looking for "the magic answer" for herself. Cassie is still living with an addict's thought pattern that "life sucks ... there has to be something that will make it happy and the sun shine every day." We see the same type thought patterns in Christie. I have never been around alcoholics or addicts of any type but from the little I have seen on this program and from talking to others, this seems to be somewhat common ... the inability to deal with the many ups & downs of life -- some small, some huge -- therefore, the need to find something ... anything to make it better. For Cassie it has been substance abuse, searching for a man to give her what she wants, then addiction recovery itself became her rose garden cure to provide her a glorious, angel's-singing-from-above life. Next, SO became her salvation and Rhonda became her personal savior. Since then, it seems the conviction that her son is secretely longing to find his perfect adoring birth mother who will be the first to ever love him unconditionally but he is being kept from his answers to a perfect life by a nazi mother ... and their unification will cause the clouds to open and the angels to sing. Cassie first needs help to deal with reality ... to live with feeling good sometime, feeling OK sometimes, and sometimes just feeling crappy. She needs to learn not to quit ... give up when the road becomes rocky. She learned this behavior as a child and needs time and work to become stable and see the world as a mature adult. Only then could it possibly benefit her son to have her in his world. And probably only after he becomes a stable, mature adult. Any time before that and it will only cause more instability in both their lives. As for the child's adoptive mother, I, like many wouldn't want to wake up one day to the woman who gave up her child for adoption because of alcoholism showing up on national TV seeminly forcing her way into my teenager's life when he was JUST getting some stability after some difficult years. If she quietly expressed her desires, left the decision totaly up to the child, then patiently went about her life as a successful adult who had made the complete transition from addiction to "normalcy" ... then I would mention it to my child when I felt he could handle it. If/when he expressed the need or want to meet her, I would make the contact, set the perameters, and help him deal with whatever he went through as a result. I wish Cassie could step outside her own depression and look at this solely through the eyes of that child. I will repeat, I will never know what anyone feels who gave up a child for adoption but I do know, as a loving parent, you HAVE to make sure your needs don't come before the mental health and well being of a child. As long as Cassie puts her own needs before that of the child and doesn't see what her actions could do to that child, she really isn't a mother.   Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 03-23-06, 01:37 PM (EST) 53. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " There's a reason why when your in the plane they tell you to place your own oxygen mask on before attempting to help any children or adults needing assistance. You have to be able to take care of yourself before taking on any additional responsibilities. That is something SO's universe never addresses. Cassie can't get out of her own way and yet she thinks somehow she's going to be an asset to this child's life? No what she wants is for this child to rescue her and that isn't what adults expect from children. This child has enough to do and his adoptive mother has enough to do trying to help this boy get his life together. Neither mother or child has anything left until they get their own oxygen masks firmly affixed to help Cassie with. If she wants to be there in the future for her son then the best gift she could give him would be to get her own life together so she isn't a burden but a source of strength for him.   Top

maudeadams 26 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 03-23-06, 06:07 PM (EST) 54. "RE: I think Cassie is being too pushy " Often when I go to write on these posts I have so much I want to say but can't always state it the way I would like to. 26Mitogo you stated my thoughts better than I ever could. Thank you.   Top

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