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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Kill Coach."
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 06:59 AM (EST)
 
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"Kill Coach." |
LAST EDITED ON 04-03-09 AT 07:36 PM (EST)That's right: I want you to kill him. Kill him dead. Extra-dead. You can even go all the way to really-most-sincerely-dead. Trust me, no one will mind. Possibly including his immediate family, if they're still capable of admitting the relationship. Post all the ways you'd like to see him die on the show, at the Reunion, or just die, period. Kill him as many times as you like: you'll feel better. Think of him as being our very own Kenny -- he can die a thousand times from a thousand things and still be available tomorrow to kill again. We killed Bill and now we're killing Coach. A lot. Partially because none of his idiot tribemates have been willing to do the deed and get rid of what amounts to a walking corpse anyway, so we're taking over. But mostly because he really just needs killing. No falling into fires or black jaguars, please. It's been done. 
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samboohoo 17173 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 07:59 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Kill Coach." |
I'd like to wait until the winds start to shift and then toss him into a pot and boil him. And then, just at the point when he's al dente, I'd like to add some dirty water and toss another log. I'll leave the pot going all day until nothing is left but bits of charcoal. Then I'll just get a new pot because he wouldn't be worth the effort I'd had to put into cleaning that one. 
*smooches Agman*
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foonermints 14531 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-09, 01:54 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Kill Coach." |
 
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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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04-03-09, 09:44 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Send him to Exile Island with Tyson, who comes off to ME as a serial killer anyway. Pay Tyson whatever he asks, and when the chopper comes to pick them up, Tyson can just tell the pilot that Coach freaked out, tore off all his clothes, which Tyson will be holding, and ran off, screaming into the desert, never to be seen again.But what really happened is that Tyson, having been paid a certain amount of money (in the 'kill Coach fund', which we will start and will be heavily funded within a few days), will strangle him with the fake immunity idol. All the while telling him what an amazing dude he is. "Oh, Coach, you are the best. Oh, Coach, there is no one in the world like you!. Oh, Coach, if only I could be the man that you are." And if Tyson's fake idol doesn't choke him to death, those fake words will surely do it. Afterwards, he can bury him in a big sand pit (that's where the snakes come in).
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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 10:13 AM (EST)
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14. "Coach hell" |
A quick kill isn't what I'm looking for, it's been weeks of coach torture for us all he deserves more pain. Although I did like the cork & beans idea.1: A potion that would render him mute then an permanent position as a band director for one hundred 14 year old egotistical tone deaf clones of himself. 2: After searching his family tree he discovers he is not Native American, of royal blood nor Steven Sagal's little brother. He does discover that his great great uncle, twice removed then removed again lived in a cave with Sasquatch, but not in a romantic way. 3: Ten years in a room with nothing but a parrot that repeats his words back to him. This may constitute animal cruelty though.
Fear and Loathing Tribe style 2008
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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:04 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Kill Coach." |
1. Take one echo-ey cement-walled room. Add several loudspeakers. And by several, I mean as many as possible, on the walls and on the floor and on the ceiling. Obtain recordings of "stupid crap said by Coach". Turn up volume on attached amplifier to as many decibels as is possible. Ear shattering volume. The kind that makes the walls shake. Turn off all lights, remove all windows. Total sensory deprivation.2. Add Coach. 3. Seal door with concrete and lead. 
Because this is closer to how I look...
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PepeLePew13 26135 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:41 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Wanda. Imagine if she had lasted a few episodes...
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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 10:04 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Jenna and Ashley would compose the Survivor Alumni wrestler portion. I'm also talking about some female wrestlers that don't give a care about looking pretty and are plenty rough......
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 03:02 AM (EST)
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27. "Ahem." |
Apparently some of you just aren't killing him hard enough.
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jbug 17146 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:37 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Ahem." |
There's got to be a crocodile out there somewhere just wanting a bite of him...
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:40 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Ahem." |
We controlled Richard's mind and made him a thousand times too arrogant to pay his taxes. We can kill Coach.
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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:06 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Ahem." |
Delusional, I don't know how he is IRL but that pygmy story was it. I'd say get him drug tested, he's found a natural source for Brazilian LSD. I'd say send him back to the pygmy camp but that would violate the Geneva Convention. What.a.tool.
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:31 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Was that SNL Penelope character based on him?
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ohmyheck 1919 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 01:35 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Kill Coach." |
I said that same thing last night!
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Loree 8616 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:22 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Kill Coach." |
I just want it to be slow and painful. And I would like to add Tyson to the mix. Co-coach should go to the end with him.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:29 AM (EST)
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38. "Rephrase?" |
I know it's not the 'go to the end with him' you meant, but if Benji and Tyson are the F2, I will never watch this series or anything else produced by EPMB again.
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:40 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Rephrase?" |
I second that. They aren't even entertainingly horrible people. Just horrible people who make my skin crawl. Hearing the two of them try to appeal why they should get a million dollars would be like watching TBN.
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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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04-18-09, 09:25 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Kill Coach." |
>Only problems are we are one
>season too late and I've
>never seen an Amazonian -where
>are we again - an
>Amazonian elephant.
>
>Don't worry. As proven by
>his encounter with the previously
>non-existent Amazon Pygmy tribe, Benji's
>mere existence makes living beings
>travel thousands of miles from
>their native land just to
>get a shot at killing
>him.
ROFLMBO!!! TOO FUNNY!!
Why, oh WHY didn't they let HIM go on the rapids trip? That would have been a PERFECT time and place to just kind of look around, toss him overboard, and be done with it! I don't think ONE person would have looked for him, asked about him, even Jeffy! It would have been as if Coach had never existed, except in our sick, deceitful, little minds....
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PepeLePew13 26135 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-09, 11:05 AM (EST)
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50. "RE: Kill Coach." |
LAST EDITED ON 04-19-09 AT 11:07 AM (EST)Know what would have been even funnier? If Coach had gone on that reward trip, I would have loved it if the Survivor producers had arranged for a bunch of pygmies to suddenly pounce out of the middle of nowhere with a bunch of spears and masks and say, "Lembro-me de você, Treinador, você vem conosco!"**
** translated from Portuguese: I remember you, Coach, you're coming with us!
Stinky Musings <--- blog's been updated!
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Snidget 44369 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-09, 05:03 PM (EST)
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51. "Have Y'all Seen This?" |
http://www.petewadeshow.com/whoarewe.htmA few snippets The Wade Brothers are direct descendants of historic figure Pocahontas as well as Lewis and Clark Expedition veteran Sergeant Charles Floyd. Both boys astoundingly taught themselves to read and write at the age of two, displaying extraordinary intellect.
Ben embarked on a kayaking voyage along the Pacific Coast that would set a Guinness World Record for the longest distance ever traveled in a kayak at 6,132 miles, fraught with shark and whale encounters, boredom, loneliness and delirium. The trek ended when Ben was poisoned by drinking water he had purchased in a village that had apparently been stored in a gasoline drum. Near death, he was found floating in his kayak off the coast of South America by relatives of recording artist Linda Ronstadt who were navigating a yacht in the area.
Just how short is Linda Ronstadt? At one such get-together, as he spun tales of his escapades on the high seas, one celebrity partygoer became a very intrigued eavesdropper. Unbeknownst to the public at that time, Actor Tom Hanks was gathering ideas with writer William Broyles, Jr. for the script of the motion picture Cast Away. And that's all I can take
 
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:01 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Have Y'all Seen This?" |
As far as 'when' goes, at least it doesn't include 'And dear little Benji, nature's perfect man-god, was voted a million dollars by seven worshipful lesser beings...'
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nerovh 67 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 08:44 PM (EST)
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55. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Has anyone tried the "Avarda Cadavra" curse on him yet? It might work, seeing as he's been using the "Cruciatus" curse on the viewers all season.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:41 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Sadly, he seems to have at least a tiny amount of skill with Imperio.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 07:17 AM (EST)
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57. "RE: Kill Coach." |
Arrange a thousand swords blades-up in a field. Tell him to start falling.
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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 08:32 AM (EST)
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60. "RE: wounded?" |
At bare minimum his doppleganger and one of his human shields has been taken out......
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rasslinmomma 938 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 04:04 PM (EST)
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63. "In return for the pain you have caused..." |
LAST EDITED ON 04-24-09 AT 10:37 PM (EST)To the pain. Yup, and a couple of ROUSes on the side. COACH
I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase. ENTIRE VIEWING AUDIENCE (EVA)
I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon. COACH
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. EVA
It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose. COACH
and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight. EVA
I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right -- COACH
-- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it -- EVA
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why ---- so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever. ETA: Although I see coach as more of a Vizzini, don't you?
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suzzee 5961 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 05:31 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Death By Orchestra" |
Drive a stake into his heart, boil for 2 hours, serves 30 Amazon warriors.
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PepeLePew13 26135 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-09, 07:25 AM (EST)
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71. "She's really naive..." |
LAST EDITED ON 05-02-09 AT 07:25 AM (EST)I knew it! KNEW IT! Coach is full of poison! School Nurse Dies After Helping Fallen Coach Pay no attention to the article itself, just look at the headline. Proof that Coach is poisonous and must be eradicated at all costs possible. The poor unsuspecting nurse actually believed that this Coach was worthy of being saved, and paid for it with her life.
As an aside, no, not all deaths are funny and what a story about the nurse, a heroic nurse at that. RIP.
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kingfish 20752 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-11, 11:37 AM (EST)
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73. "RE: Mega-earned --" |
A mega bump to nail Coach to a board is ok with me.
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PsychoKitty 727 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-11, 04:00 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Mega-earned --" |
Ya know, . . . as a card carrying "kill Coach" member, who has to find her siggie (I'm typing from my work computer today), I was actually kinda rooting for Coach this time until this last episode - GAG ME!!!!So obnoxious! And all of them with their "religious display." It was so off putting and how do they think their team looks to the other tribe? I'm sure people are making mental notes about how "mental" they are before the merge . . . Yes - kill Coach!!! Rally the cry! 
Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl
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agman 11166 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 10:24 PM (EST)
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86. "RE: Mega-earned --" |
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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